Men Claim To Want Ms. Classy But Chase Ms. Trashy [By: Filsan A]

It seems the difference between fantasy and reality is not as rigid as one might think it is since men are beginning to live out their fantasies– either that or women of class are no longer the norm. If you watched Oprah last Monday you might have heard Usher say, “There is a dichotomy between fantasy and reality.” Is this a true statement when it comes to relationships?

One trend piece today claims that men prefer “trashy girls” (as calls them), to classy girls. The definition of trashy in this context is synonymous with slut; from the way a woman dresses to the licentious way she carries herself in public. In this category you can also include women who have no qualms sleeping with married men, the woman that acts like a stripper but is really not a stripper, and those that have a rather questionable career (i.e. is an escort or pin-up model). Classy on the other hand, refers to a woman with more refined manners, elegance and a sense of sophistication. When I say classy think: Kerry Washington. Now, men like to believe they prefer the latter, but reality is, the “baddest chick” in the game is what’s in fashion.

There are about a few hundred reasons why men would choose to be with women like, say, women from the cast of “Flavor of love”. Some include the obvious reasons- the more edgier girls will do anything to please her man (even it crosses the line between what’s acceptable and what’s not) and, unlike the more classier women, they are a lot easier to attract. Before, it was more of a surreptitious affair between men and these women, Jesse James and Tiger Woods “hung out” with them behind closed doors (when they cheated on their partners with porn stars and fetish models). More recently however, men like Mario, Drake and Flo Rider are taking it a step further and actually publicly courting these women.

This isn’t meant to belittle women, I understand that all women are entitled to some level of respect regardless of what they do with themselves—what I don’t understand is the double standard demonstrated when men claim to want to be with a lady and then date a woman that most will label as “trashy”.

Men are free to date whosoever they want to, but relationships with ‘bad girls’ don’t always end well—since most of these women usually have a different philosophy when it comes to relationships, and like they say, “ you can’t turn a hoe into a housewife.”

This Is Your Conscience

When Lincoln Anthony Blades is not writing for his controversial and critically acclaimed blog, he can be found contributing articles for Uptown Magazine. Lincoln wrote the hilarious and insightful book "You're Not A Victim, You're A Volunteer: How To Stop Letting Love Kick Your Ass". He is also a public speaker who has sat on panels all over North America and the Caribbean.


  1. the 1st lady

    05/19/2010 at 1:43 PM

    and to add to this…many men (many many many men..sorry had a 50 cent will get on females for turning down the good dudes for the bad boys. not realizing that chasing the girl with the ideal ass-to-waist ratio but low morals/values is pretty much the exact same thing.

    if flashing cash didn't work – rick ross would never have groupies. and if men weren't suckers for the i-need-a-sponsor chick – sites like and the like wouldn't exist.

    listen, we are ALL superficial beings. and not all good looking dudes are a**holes and not all pretty chicks are hoes. BUT when you place more emphasis on the outside than the inside, it's bound to backfire.

    this is an equal opportunity message.

    • The_Mad_HATER

      05/19/2010 at 7:15 PM

      Girl what the hell are you talking about?? you think people should start dating personality instead of good looks?!! Seriously!!

  2. the 1st lady

    05/19/2010 at 8:31 PM

    when you place MORE emphasis on the outside than the's bound to backfire.
    all it takes is a rash, infection, car accident, violent attack and those same outside features can disappear in an instant. not to mention time and gravity working against you. looks fade.
    dating personality over good looks – i would never make that naive statement cuz it's not realistic.

  3. The_Mad_HATER

    05/19/2010 at 9:01 PM

    Our looks can fade together though! only some ignorant punkass would expect that his woman stays looking like Gabby union while he is looking like sanford and son but of course we should put more emphasis on the outside because we have sex! we more than just friends where only whats inside matters

    bet you dont have an ugly man!

    • the 1st lady

      05/20/2010 at 7:24 PM

      cute. i dont have ANY man @ the moment, ugly or otherwise….

      • The_Mad_HATER

        05/20/2010 at 8:40 PM

        but if you did I guarantee you gonna look for the Morris Chestnut looking brotha and not the guy who looks like he likes long walks and emotional conversations about Eric Jerome Dickey novels!!

        • the 1st lady

          05/21/2010 at 3:37 AM

          hmm..that's an interesting ASSumption….
          do i want someone i'm physically attracted to? of course!! but i had a date recently with a dude that was sexy as HELL but spent the night trying to get inside my bed and inviting himself to my place several times. the following week i had another date with a different dude that isn't sexy, but is very cute, very sweet and has manners.
          guess who's gonna get a second date? guess who is getting purge, block, delete from my phone and life?
          and for the record, my brother has a slightly resembles Morris so he does nothing for me. what is sexy and attractive to one, might not be to another. nor do I like EJD books.
          i'm also a grown ass woman who recognizes that superficial + long term = not likely.

  4. lincolnanthonyblades

    05/20/2010 at 5:13 PM

    I Think Men Are Really Looking For Ms. Freaky…Lady In The Streets, But A Freak In The Bed..

    And They Believe Sometimes It's Harder To Turn A Lady Into A Freak Then A Freak Into A Lady

    • the 1st lady

      05/20/2010 at 7:24 PM

      They Believe Sometimes It's Harder To Turn A Lady Into A Freak Then A Freak Into A Lady

      – I EXTRA EXTRA like this comment.

    • DatchikMalix

      05/21/2010 at 5:37 PM

      it think the other way around…but it also depends on how much patience a guy has. every woman has an inner freak, it takes the right guy to turn a girl into a freak…same as it takes the right guy to turn a freak into a lady.

  5. lincolnanthonyblades

    05/21/2010 at 6:34 PM

    Some Guys Need To Know You CAN'T Turn EVERY Freak Into A Lady

  6. Royce Doil

    01/06/2014 at 12:53 PM

    I’m impressed, I must say. Basically

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  9. Rose Woods

    04/03/2016 at 2:25 AM

    Speaking from a lifetime of experience in trashiness, and to add a point that the article didn't make, some men like women who have slept around. They are turned on by the village bicycle. Don't ask me why, but I'm dating one such example. He thinks whores are better at taking care of a man. Ironically, he thinks (and I agree) trashy women are less likely to date someone for money or status. Classy women almost exclusively date for money or power. Who's the whore now? Haha. In conclusion, though I may not be one you'd take home to mother, who cares when your this good in bed??

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