When Your Woman’s Fed Up, Save Your Damn Tears – Because Its YOUR Fault Dumb-Ass

Seeing as summer is about to hit FULL stride, there is one new thing I’m noticing that I never expected to see before: Its MEN who are begging their girl to STAY in the relationship and not WILD out all summer long when back int he days it was the complete opposite. Besides the fact that men are getting softer than the Snuggies bear, it is also revealing that today’s woman has come a long-a*s way.

Now I am the first one to knock the image of the wannabe “Independent, I-Don’t-Need-No-Damn Man” woman, that seems to be rampant in urban and ethnic communities. The idea that you are TOO socially, financially and intrinsically “Worthy” to have to “stoop” down low for some worthless man is a concept that treads on dangerous grounds. But one thing that I will FOREVER Big-Up, is the fact that so many young women are doing big things for themselves and their significant others and realizing that being the economic leader of the household doesn’t have to be a completely emasculating experience for her man.  Women have ALWAYS provided the support, love and appreciation a man needs to be personally and professionally successful – and that’s why it’s always been so easy for us as men to take that TLC for granted.

Many Men have short-term memory when it comes to appreciating the women they love, because it’s so easy for a man to forget how rare it is to find a woman who truly loves and cares about them. But what’s worse is that men aren’t taught how to HEAR women. What that means is, we aren’t taught how to separate the constant annoying background noise that women provide (complaining about the dishese, her parents, your video game controller she tripped over in the middle of the night) and the REAL, SERIOUS concerns (the fact that you don’t go out anymore, the fact that she is tired of giving more love than she’s getting, and the fact she feels UNAPPRECIATED). Men tend to lump all those queries into the Recycle Box in our brains which leads us to one major fault: We miss the entire period when our woman falls out of love with us.

As stupid as it sounds, men actually miss the period when their girl goes from being head-over-heels-in love with a few minor complaints, to being sad, bitter, frustrated, disappointed and eventually OVER the guy’s punk-a*s. We are conditioned to believe your tears are nothing more than temporary disappointment, when they really are tears of remorse. The harder she fights, the less we actually feel motivated to care, therefore continuing a cycle of a neglect and mistreatment – until one day, she looks her man dead in his eye and tell’s him “It’s Over.”

Once again, as STUPID as this sounds, he will be shocked – shocked at the fact that you REALLY were sad all those months. And that the tears you cried weren’t just background noise, but significant indicators of your true hurt feelings. And it’s at that point that the man will do something that he’s not use to: BEGGING her to come back, but little does he know it’s too little, too late. Because when a woman has finished crying all her tears, consulting with all her girls, giving you 2nd,3rd and 4th chances, and even praying that the Lord Almighty helps to open your eyes, her heart no longer has room for YOU anymore. That spot in her soul that you occupied is vacant and your picture is on the wall with the words “DO NOT SERVE” underneath.

So i’m sorry for your loss brother, but understand that when a woman’s fed up…there ain’t nothing you can do about it…so man up, wish her the best and stop hiding behind people’s bushes trying to see what she’s up to and who she’s talking to now. You had you’re chance and blew it like the Celtics in the 4th quarter.

This Is Your Conscience

When Lincoln Anthony Blades is not writing for his controversial and critically acclaimed blog ThisIsYourConscience.com, he can be found contributing articles for Uptown Magazine. Lincoln wrote the hilarious and insightful book "You're Not A Victim, You're A Volunteer: How To Stop Letting Love Kick Your Ass". He is also a public speaker who has sat on panels all over North America and the Caribbean.


  1. Keepin It Real

    06/29/2010 at 9:45 AM

    I agree, but I also think this article doesnt take into account that a bad relationship also takes two. It's not just that we as men miss the good that she deos, but sometimes we are blinded by the bad that she is also doing at the same time.

    • Crystal Promo-Fernandez

      06/29/2010 at 1:57 PM

      honestly i dont get what youre trying to say…ive never even heard of 'when a mans fed up' so whats your point?

      • Keepin It Real

        06/29/2010 at 3:37 PM

        My point is that this article is based off of a situation where a good woman is leaving a worthless man but seems to present it from the standpoint that most relationships where a man feels remorse has to do with what he did wrong and i dont agree in all cases.

        • Pat

          10/11/2012 at 12:50 PM

          Most of the time a honest women is fed up when :

          1) The man is not able to keep his mother (mother-in-law) from interfering in the couple life. It's even worse when the MOL interferes with the children education. Guys is insulting to you wife and unfortunately happens a lot and makes you look asa boy to your wife, not as a father.

          2) The man does not do his share of house chores even if his wife has a work too. If both jobs more or less compare in duration (hours per day) and energy taken the man MUST do half of the chores.

          3) Men playing video games (even if adults since a few years) are a real turn down for a woman. Firstly because that man acts like boy and also that these video games can take essential communication time between the partners away. Guys, take care of your family, of your children and partner. Your wife needs communication with you. And what kind of image you can give a child if he sees his father play like a teen ?

          4) Going out with male friend is great but don't do it at the expense of your family.
          You have to be available a minimum to your family and not let your wife run all the family alone.

  2. TONIxoxo

    06/29/2010 at 2:26 PM

    "The harder she fights, the less we actually feel motivated to care"

    Hmm, so that explains it, huh? Good read!

  3. Crystal Promo-Fernandez

    06/29/2010 at 1:56 PM

    guys stay acting brand new when you tell them its over and you have to explain to them that we have been trying to save the relationship for the last six months

    p.s. im gonna get you for thta Celtics diss you sneaked in there! LOL

    • DatchikMalix

      06/29/2010 at 8:49 PM

      CO-MUTHAEFFIN-SIGN (especially the PS!!!!!lol) @Crystal

      This was definetly insightful!

      @Keepin it Real–the artilce was covering "When Your Woman’s Fed Up, Save Your Damn Tears – Because Its YOUR Fault Dumb-Ass" nothing more nothing less i believe, so what your talking about may true but that's not the discussion at hand.

  4. Tieishier

    08/23/2012 at 11:04 PM

    I agree I been fed up with mine. And the bitch will not leave

  5. Bout whateva

    06/03/2014 at 9:31 AM

    Truth is if you don't watch those warning signs or not mess up in the first place you will be good…I learned the hardway *no rkelly*

  6. jms

    03/18/2015 at 6:34 PM

    5 stars, no one had spoken truer words, always too little too late, so so true!

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