When A Man Buys You A Drink, It’s Not A GIFT it’s An INVESTMENT

Ladies, the way that some of you look when you leave the house [especially women in my city, Toronto – where some of the most beautiful women in the world reside] I can’t blame you for FEELING YOURSELVES and thinking y’all are whats hot in the streets. But if you think men buy you drinks just to BASK in your glory, you’re DEAD WRONG.

I can not state with 100% accuracy that men who will buy a woman a drink just to see her smile and then walk off to never see her again don’t exist. Women themselves tell me this happens so who am I to argue? But I know this though, that dude does NOT represent the majority of men and his punk-a*s doesn’t even represent a large amount. So this piece is not about the 6% of men who are the exception, but the 94% of men who are the rule. And the rule is very simple: Any man that buys you a drink wants SOMETHING from you and buy accepting the drink you are informally accepting the IDEA of entertaining his request.

My parents always told my sister that nothing in life is FREE, and I’m glad she understands that theory because she applies that to every aspect of her life. What some of you women who accept FREE drinks at the club don’t understand is that when a man offers to buy you a drink he is specifically doing that as a sign of interest in you. Now I won’t say that every man that offers you a drink just does so because he wants your nani, but he does want SOMETHING, whether it be an interesting conversation, or just for you to chill with him by the bar because he knows attractive women are interested in men who look like other attractive women are interested in him [get it?]. Nothing in life is FREE and that drink comes with him wanting SOMETHING.

Now the big problem is that women feel like by accepting his “Gift” she should not feel obligated to even say a ‘thank you’ to him because she doesn’t owe him anything and she didn’t even ask him to send the drink over. I agree [which is another reason I ain’t buying a stranger a DAMN thing – http://www.thisisyourconscience.com/?p=2432] but only to an extent because the reality is this: The drink doesn’t need to come with a note attached saying “hey I’m sending you this drink so I can get your number” because that social agreement is already in place and women, you are LYING to yourself if you think otherwise.

Let’s stop playing games: If you don’t want his ugly-a*s following you around all night or bothering you then simply say no. Women, this is not the caveman era, you are independent and have your own money, so you don’t NEED a man to buy you a drink unless you are a BASIC BOTTOM B*TCH. If you don’t want to have anything to do with him, then don’t accept his alcohol-investment and keep it moving. But if you do, and you have to spend the next two hours at the club playing Bourne Identity all over the nightclub trying to dip and duck his a*s because you tired of being harrassed it’s nobodies fault but your own.

This Is Your Conscience

When Lincoln Anthony Blades is not writing for his controversial and critically acclaimed blog ThisIsYourConscience.com, he can be found contributing articles for Uptown Magazine. Lincoln wrote the hilarious and insightful book "You're Not A Victim, You're A Volunteer: How To Stop Letting Love Kick Your Ass". He is also a public speaker who has sat on panels all over North America and the Caribbean.


  1. ddddddddddddd

    07/19/2010 at 2:04 PM

    ahahaha bourne identity <3

    its so true though. then the dumb girl who accepts the drink gets fresh and disses the guy afterwards askin why hes bothering her and an argument ensues – god forbid that guys already drunk and gets violent. i hate when people cause unnecessary drama all of which could all have been avoided by just saying no to the damn drink from jump -_-

  2. Independent Woman

    07/19/2010 at 2:10 PM

    This is such BS. So men are so disgusting that they can't even buy a woman a drink without expecting to get all between her thighs?? yall are some nasty misguided creatures!

  3. just sayin

    07/19/2010 at 2:43 PM

    i agree in some cases that is the way it is, but honestly life is really not that complicated and doesnt have to be!
    u can accept the drink, and be polite and say thank you, and the dude can act like a grown ass man and not be a stalker in the club… its all about being respectful grown ass people !

    • The_Mad_HATER

      07/19/2010 at 11:06 AM

      be polite and say thank you? you better start jotting that number down or prepare to back it up on me for the next soca or reggae set!

      $9 not a damn joke in a recession!!

  4. Tessa

    07/19/2010 at 6:39 PM

    I know right!!! That why I buy my own drinks!

  5. Goldie

    07/19/2010 at 3:30 PM

    If that is the only way for a man, to get a woman to “back it up”, or to get her number, then they need to do themslef
    a faver and, save that five doller and buy a bottle of baby oil and “J off”

    • The_Mad_HATER

      07/19/2010 at 8:37 PM

      see why you getting mad Goldie?? because you too damn cheap to buy your own rum and coke and now that men are putting your foolishness on blast you gettin all vex!

      in a damn night club what you want me to do?? bend down on one knee on the dancefloor and propose?? hold the drink, lemme hold the waistline and bubble and lets get to whisper sweet nothings in each others ear!! whats good with some women nowadays??!

      • Independent Woman

        07/19/2010 at 8:45 PM

        You are such a damn fool. UGH! Why does a $7 rum and coke entitle you to try and push squeeze your little "richard" between the butt crack of her jeans? Oh, is that how much that costs?!

  6. Marlee

    07/19/2010 at 9:44 PM

    I love that you're keeping it real bro…

  7. leesummer

    07/20/2010 at 2:41 AM

    kinda agree… guys dont buy girls drinks from the kindness of their hearts… they use it as a little gimmic to hopefully open doors with a female whether it be getting her number or between her legs(rare)… however buying a drink doesnt entitle a guy to any of those things… guys dont get your hopes strung on the power of buying a female a cheap drink…. most females see u … get the drink knowing you want to converse… and than disappear… dnt waste your damn money expecting something!

  8. easyanswer

    07/31/2010 at 5:31 PM

    Buying a woman a drink has been the way to say "I am attached to you and want to know if you are attached to me" for over 100 years! If you don't know that than you are PLAIN STUPID!

    Hell, movies have shown this since the 30's or 40's.

    So, you broke a** bit*hes need to stay home a get a second job if you can't keep a man or afford a drink!

  9. Double K

    08/25/2010 at 7:58 PM

    I, in the third person, have witnessed such disrespect where a man will offer ONE drink from his bottle and a woman will take this as an open invitation to bring her friends, finish the whole thing, and then leave without not only so much as a thank you, but to brag about it afterward.

  10. jeanne

    05/07/2013 at 12:05 AM

    i go to bars to have fun!!!, & by that i mean listen to loud music, dance & drink too…listen to bands, hang with friends, play games,& yeah it'd b nice to meet a good man ..lol…at a bar… and i dont get the whole BAR GAME ffs just introduce yourself… ffs save your damn money if your gonna call us stupid ass bitches..who wants to know THAT! kind of man…i pass

  11. Ace

    08/07/2013 at 7:03 AM

    Buying a girl a drink is like paying her a compliment. It comes full circle and serves it entire purpose as an ice-breaker, an in, an introduction. That is ALL a guy should ever hope to gain when buying a woman a drink. Any further expectation of the woman putting out in anyway is just obscene. Meanwhile, refusing the drink on the part of the woman can come off as snobby and can even lead to just as much confrontation with an already tipsy guy as accepting it and not having any interest… So guys (and ladies) break the ice and ladies (and guys) be polite and sincere.

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