Ladies, If You Catch Your Man JERKING OFF, You Should Be More ASHAMED Than Him

So I had a long conservation with one of my homegirls overseas who recently got married to her long-time boyfriend and they finally moved in together – and she accidentally stumbled in on him backing his fist in front of his laptop to some Japanese Sailor Moon pr0n. She told me she cussed his a*s out for being nasty and backing his fist in their common-area living room, but I told her the reality of the situation: “If he’s so desperate as to pleasure himself in the middle of the day in the middle of the house, chances are YOU ain’t doing something right.”

Ladies, let me let you in on a little secret – All men like masturbating – but we LOVE getting nani WAY more. For a man to have to an all-access pass to your nani, yet RATHER choose to make love to Handgela, you need to reaccess somethings about your sex game because he is TERRIBLY dissatisfied.

Now don’t get me wrong, just because a man is in a relationship it doesn’t mean he will stop masturbating 100%, but if you are LIVING together, both employed and there are NO kids in the picture, anytime his richard pops up you should be there to slam him back down like the weakest dude in wrestling class. YES, there are times you will go without having sex for an entire roster of different reasons, but there is NO excuse for your love life to dissipate to the point of him cheating on you with Palmela on a constant basis.

Now when you catch him pleasuring himself and you get all mad or embarrassed or awkward, and start thinking that he needs to be ashamed of putting the Vulcan death grip on his richard, YOU need to look into YOUR own performance and wonder where the disconnect is occurring. Maybe you have dry nani, and he chose his fist over dodging the tumbleweeds rolling past your clitoris or the bull-skull right by your labia.

So allow me to say what most men won’t: Ladies you control sex. You control it’s frequency AND intimacy, and as men it’s our job to handle business and take care of satisfying you and keeping richard up to the task and not ungracefully bowing out early like Tyson knocking out Berbick. But with that said, the sexiness you bring to the table is what will determine the intensity of your sexual relationship.

So next time you come home early and unexpected and catch your man backing his fist to, don’t stand and looked shocked in disapproving disbelief – get on your knees, slap his hand away and remind him why YOU are much better than any fantasy on

This Is Your Conscience

When Lincoln Anthony Blades is not writing for his controversial and critically acclaimed blog, he can be found contributing articles for Uptown Magazine. Lincoln wrote the hilarious and insightful book "You're Not A Victim, You're A Volunteer: How To Stop Letting Love Kick Your Ass". He is also a public speaker who has sat on panels all over North America and the Caribbean.


  1. Adrian

    01/06/2011 at 12:14 PM

    Sooo damn true! Co-Sign 150%
    I think part of the reason women are ready to cuss their man out is because of the guilt they feel knowing their actions (or lack of) are what's causing the guy to jerk off.

    "…don't stand and looked shocked in disapproving disbelief – get on your knees, slap his hand away and remind him why YOU are much better than any fantasy on"
    Awesome closing sentence, really needed to be said.

    • Independent Woman

      01/06/2011 at 12:38 PM

      ACTUALLY we are disgusted because after a long day he should be able to roll over and go to sleep like us instead of surfing the net for Kim Kardashian pictures to jack off to. SMH!

      • lincolnanthonyblades

        01/06/2011 at 12:47 PM

        This Comment Deserves One Large Shake Of The Head..

        • Independent Woman

          01/06/2011 at 12:50 PM

          Negro please.

          Why is this lazy ass home in the middle of the day while your homegirl is at work trying to support the house they just bought. And he wants her to come home and ride his ashy little rich?!!

          Why didn't he come home and draw her a bath and cook dinner? Maybe she would have wanted to get it in then.

      • DatchikMalix

        01/06/2011 at 1:33 PM


      • The_Mad_HATER

        01/06/2011 at 2:24 PM

        you stay there disgusted i would make sure to bust my nut on the back of your favourite work blouse!! lol

        • Candice

          01/06/2011 at 2:55 PM

          LOL !! U bad 😀

      • Double K

        01/07/2011 at 11:56 AM

        ACTUALLY if you believe that, then I hope your next man rolls over, goes to sleep, and has a wet dream right next to you in the bed. Fun for no one.

      • jim

        08/06/2015 at 12:37 PM

        Maybe if you would make more of an effort to please him he wouldnt have to get off to pictures of Kim Kardashian!

      • Jay dawg

        03/28/2016 at 7:27 AM

        Hey I love jacking off to Kim kardashian as many times as I've done it to her pics she would have over 3000 kids by now

    • ATLienSince82

      01/06/2011 at 12:53 PM

      I feel you on that fam…if a girl ever started to deal with my case and actually got mad at me for trying to jerk it out because she wants it in her mouth not in the tissue i would bust a nut just to hear her say that. LOL!

  2. MzDebbieFields

    01/06/2011 at 12:44 PM

    Anytime I've ever caaught my man jacking off it has led to some of the best sex we've ever had in our lives. It's so hot to see him pleasuring himself and I just cant help but finish him off right!

    • ATLienSince82

      01/06/2011 at 12:54 PM

      Gaaaaaadddddd dddaaayyyuummmm!!

    • Kizzy

      01/06/2011 at 1:01 PM

      I bet your man is loving you off girl?!

    • DatchikMalix

      01/06/2011 at 1:33 PM

      Get it girl!

    • The_Mad_HATER

      01/06/2011 at 2:24 PM

      you something else girl!

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      01/07/2011 at 2:22 AM


  3. Queen Erudite

    01/06/2011 at 12:59 PM

    I will never take responsibility for how often a grown man chooses to please himself, but I believe it's my responsibility to do all I can to keep my man satisfied.

    • Kizzy

      01/06/2011 at 1:01 PM

      Thank you Queen!

    • DatchikMalix

      01/06/2011 at 1:39 PM


    • The_Mad_HATER

      01/06/2011 at 2:26 PM

      just remember ladies, it's your responsibility to keep him from being a masturbation addict!

      • lincolnanthonyblades

        01/07/2011 at 2:21 AM

        The Underrated TRUTH

  4. @luxemansion576

    01/06/2011 at 9:15 PM

    I'm going to start off with saying that I have no problems with porn…it is not my cup of tea but I'm fine with my man being into it. Now that the disclaimer is out of the way…

    So women are supposed to read minds now? What happened to a man opening up his mouth and telling his woman what he wants from her intimately instead of running to pop in a flick every time he feels that his sex life leaves something to be desired?

    • Shash

      01/06/2011 at 11:26 PM

      You wouldn't believe how hard that actually is, especially when you have to listen to "well I don't do that, thats just nasty"

      • lincolnanthonyblades

        01/07/2011 at 2:21 AM


    • lincolnanthonyblades

      01/07/2011 at 2:21 AM

      Well In The Example Above, Dude DID Express His Horny-ness, But Women Just Play Off How Serious A Man Is When He Really NEEDS Some Nani..

  5. HawnGrl

    02/07/2011 at 1:06 AM

    This would be true for most couples BUT What if the guy is the one that isn't always down…just ate dinner…blah blah blah and the girls always down?? because Its like that for me and my bf! I am the one that is always ready but he isnt always up for it.

  6. Abby

    02/27/2011 at 11:54 PM

    I think that in same cases that maybe true but not all men jack off bc their woman's not doing it right or often enough. Some men have serious addictions to porn or lust after other women and they get caught up in that fantasy and jerk it off so they can't please their own real live women. And some men are just lazy and want a quick release.

    • elizabeth

      08/06/2014 at 6:23 AM

      Amen to that! I had a man I wanted to fuck 10x a day. He was so addicted to porn and his Dick is unable to feel pussy bcuz he violently Jacks off 10x/day with hisrough ass hand. Anyways only porn could arouse him… he needed images not real life sex. Never ever in my life ran across this situation where a man will turn u down and go jack off a few minutes later or ask if he can view porn while trying to fuck you. His Dick will just get limp inside u bcuz it needs that Xtra firm death grip! Sorry ass piece of shit. All the Dick I got from other guys while I was with him was awesome &so worth building up my self esteem & confidence when limp Dick made me feel like shit! !

  7. Bailey

    02/27/2011 at 11:59 PM

    Who ever posted this crap must be an idiot! You must be really full of yourself to justify jacking off bc of your woman. I bet you don't please her but a fraction of the times she pleased you. Women need to be satisfied just as much as men and if men would turn the tv off and spend time with your women I bet you wouldn't be so desperate to look at the porn. Stop blaming your woman for your jacking off problem ask yourself why your woman isn't having sex with you and when she does it only half ass! I think the problem is you. If anyone should be ashamed and feel stupid it's the one masturbating. Get a clue!!!

    • emoney

      05/16/2011 at 3:54 AM

      Love it! Couldn't have said it better myself!!!

    • Bethany

      05/24/2016 at 1:33 AM

      I honestly couldn’t agree with anymore I always was up for having sex. And I had two kids with this guy and I just caught him jerking himself in the bathroom. Yeah it made me sick to my stomach because I’ve always given it to him. And we’ve been together 4 years and I’ve caught him on dating sites talking to other women about fucking them and meeting up with to to have sex with them. He’s hurt me in so manys…. but yet I don’t understand him. He gets pleasured but yet goes in the bathroom and jerks off lmfao

  8. Jennifer

    01/17/2012 at 8:18 PM

    true!! i never came with the looser sex i had…n he was always satisfied…wtf when i caught him i was mad because i gave him all n he busted nut on my face n i enjoyed it to so y would he need that??? thats messed up im good at giving head n pussy wth did he need?!! wut a dick move.!!! that was so degrading like if i wasn't good enough n i know i am..ha bring any man on n let me know shit i know i good he would even cum in my mouth n i wud swallow it heck it was fun for me even though i would never finish… i would enjoy pleasing him n didnt have a problem with it..wut more do u need jeeez

  9. MontanaGirl

    09/10/2012 at 11:48 AM

    Well, for me the bottom line is, he has never satisfied me because I could tell he was never there when we had sex. He was always somewhere else and that is the biggest "turn off" for a gal that there is. The man is always so concerned about getting himself satisfied knowing full well that he can do things to himself that God never intended. This definately causes him not to be able to come close to satisfying his partner. Bottom line is that men are selfish.

  10. Hanna

    05/10/2013 at 2:12 AM

    Whoever wrote this is an idiot. Men jerk off frequently, some on a daily basis, and a majority of people don't/can't have sex on a daily basis, between jobs and kids and what, are we supposed to read his fucking mind? I'm not going to be pissed if I catch him jerking off, but it's not my fault he does it you fucking idiot.

  11. Jay

    07/16/2014 at 12:41 PM

    Ladies, All men jerk off….Married or Not!! I am happily married to my beautiful wife of 13yrs with two children; both she & I know that we secretly masturbate. But when we do it together its so much better!! I caught my wife once masturbating in bed when I came home late from work one night. She was so consumed by it, she didn't hear me come in. I didn't disturb her but rather hid and watched in complete admiration…it was beautiful and intense! I waited a bit while pulling out my hard-on, then startled her into embarrassment….I laughed but then I encouraged her that she looked absolutely sexy [we f^#ked like animals]!!
    So; If you are sexually confident with yourself and in your relationship, then you should already know that we all (men & woman) do it to our own fantasies. And whenever the opportunity presents itself of either partner catching the other in what is a natural act of sexual intimacy……embrace it and enjoy it!!!

  12. Tami

    01/14/2015 at 12:18 PM

    Jay. I have to whole heartedly agree with you. I love my man, and he loves me. But he adores jerking his cock off. I'm not offended by it, and if I catch him, I like to join in on the fun, and make him reach dizzying, explosive orgasm. It pays off every time. Masturbation is a part of life, and if any of you out there think it's wrong, or bad, you might want to explore the subject at length with a professional (not a prostitute, but a sex therapist) there's a lot to be said for that momentary release, and guys sometimes just NEED that release immediately. I, as a woman, experience this same need from time to time, and my man is NEVER offended by my masturbation. Also, for guys, it can be a matter of performance anxiety….some masturbate several times a week so they can extend the length of their love making just for US LADIES. So before you assume anything, ladies, research this thing you're so upset or offended by, and maybe thank your man for thinking of you. He is putting you both FIRST. Just my humble opinion, but it's educated. :) Love yourself enough to love your partner!

  13. Shane

    10/15/2015 at 11:04 AM

    It doesn't surprise me that this entire article would woman hate the way it does. "Oh if you catch him jerking off it's YOUR fault." Sad and pathetic. Maybe he has a problem?

  14. Marm

    12/24/2015 at 10:48 AM

    I find nothing wrong with my husband doing it to thoughts of me, but I installed a spy thing on his phone and found out he'd been lying to me every time he said it was to me, he'd googled blowjobs from a man's POV and "nice sex" and watched vids of other women as if they solely existed for his pleasure. I am moving out now. He apologizes for doing it to other women but that is cheating, those other women have no place in our marriage and it shows the man is just selfish and lacks empathy. Porn ruins marriages because it's all selfishly for his pleasure, wife gets nothing, the woman online gets nothing, maybe rent money. Men want anything to "possess" and use a woman's eroticism instead of helping shape or protect it in a healthy relationship. It's cheating, plain and simple, even if the woman gets off to it. Orgasms are the most important part of a lifelong relationship so hats off to whatever fuckwad says "they're just one part," yeah no shit, the most important part, the peak of our entire beings. Sexual exclusivity is a huge part of intimacy and when tackled together over a lifetime the passion stays alive. Most men are just too lazy to commit because porn is so easy. It's just so hurtful and selfish and has no place in a committed monogamous relationship.

  15. kali

    05/06/2016 at 8:43 PM

    Lol tbh I just caught my bf of 8 months jerking in the bathroom while I’m rolling up waiting for him … we barley have sex to begin with and when we do… he doesn’t last but I’m only mad because like niqqqa I was rolling up… and I like to fuck tooo I’m the horny and I recently just started letting him cum in my mouth so like wtf now

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