YES, Women CAN Have Sex Anytime They Want [Isn’t THAT Obvious?!]

Last week I logged on to Max’s website and ended up reading the most ludicrous thing I’ve ever seen a woman write on the internet in my entire life. She stated “No, We [Women] Actually Can’t Have Sex Any Time We Want” – and she is DEAD WRONG.

In this blog [] Max presented her argument, which I implore all men and women alike to read as it is very well-written – though thoroughly INCORRECT.

First let’s understand where this age-old question derives from: It is a statement that men make to explain to women, that their sex-droughts are NOTHING like a man’s, because most female sex-droughts are self-inflicted wounds while most male sex-droughts are Female-inflicted wounds. Women CHOOSE not to get laid, while men FAIL at not getting laid. Now women try to equate these as equal entities because both people are going without busting a nut, but the truth is there is NOTHING equal in these scenarios, because women  need to stop acting like them finding a “sponge-worthy” man is ANYTHING like a horny-a*s man trying to find ANY nani that will have him.

After writing that blog, Max received a lot of feedback from men saying she doesn’t know what she’s talking about, so she decided to do her own social experiment documented in this blog []. She text-messaged 5 dudes [who she already knew and a couple she had already been with], offering the nani, and essentially none of the guys came through to hit it, which leads her to believe this proves her original post to be correct: Women CAN’T get sex whenever they want to. But allow me to add a few caveats that it seems everyone seems to ignore:

1) The Experiment Is Bullsh*t Because It’s Conducted With People Who Already Know Her

There are a multitude of different reasons, based on PAST EXPERIENCES, why someone you know would FLOP on having sex with you. To gauge ease of access to intercourse based on people who are familiar with your BS creates a variable that easily contradicts the authenticity of the results. [Maybe he didn’t come over because your reverse cowgirl didn’t cut it]

2) If It’s NOT Done Face-T0-Face It’s BULLSH*T

When I first heard this statement uttered it was at a time less than 10% of the population had cell phones [which were as big as cinder blocks anyways] and there was no such thing as text-messaging and BBM’ing. The point is that a woman could walk into any nightclub, find a dude and get f*^ked that very same night. While on the other hand, a man simply can NOT just do that unless he’s a professional athlete or Trey Songz. The fact that Max conducted the test by texting dudes again proves NOTHING. If a dude is busy at that time, what does that say about her inability to have sex? I wish she would have propositioned strangers on the street and seen what happened. [Clay Davis] Sheeeeeiiitttt [/Clay Davis] she should take a trip to my old neighbourhood of Eglinton West and stand on the corner with them big Jamaican men and see what happens.  Oh, you know what his availability ultimately says to her? If she can’t get it in with someone she WANTS to get it in with, it completely proves her theory. WRONG, because..

3) Your Variables On What Constitutes A Sex Partner Have NO Bearings On The Validity Of This Thesis

What I love about her original blog is that within the piece she implicitly admits that women CAN have sex easier than men, but then covers it over with layers of nonsensical variables that make those very obvious options DISQUALIFIED from conversation.

She wrote:

You can go out and meet someone, if you are fortunate enough to live in a city in which there are men worthy of meeting. But even in the most fast-tracked of scenarios, at the very least you’ll have to wait three days from meeting the dude to f*cking him. And you can really only turn it around that quickly if it’s someone you don’t like. If you do like him, f*cking him on the first date is not a good look, so you’ve got to wait – what? About three weeks or so? Not the worst thing in the world, but it’s not going to put out the fire that is blazing in your panties right now, is it?

All of the bolded are BS variables that do NOT disprove men’s point, but merely shifts the conversation into a new paradigm. You can parse quality, self-respect and all that as much as you want, bu it does NOT disprove the intrinsic argument: WOMEN CAN HAVE SEX ANYTIME THEY WANT.

And she concluded her argument with the statement:

At the end of the day, it’s like this: saying a woman can get sex any time she wants is like telling a homeless person they can get food any time they want. I guess they can if they don’t mind picking it out of the garbage and eating around the mold. I mean, you might get salmonella but at least your belly’s full, right?

The bolded IS the entire crux of the argument and the dudes who are wasting their time attempting to disprove it with their own foolish experiments []ain’t doing a damn thing other than ruining more potential booty-calls.

This Is Your Conscience

When Lincoln Anthony Blades is not writing for his controversial and critically acclaimed blog, he can be found contributing articles for Uptown Magazine. Lincoln wrote the hilarious and insightful book "You're Not A Victim, You're A Volunteer: How To Stop Letting Love Kick Your Ass". He is also a public speaker who has sat on panels all over North America and the Caribbean.


  1. max

    01/17/2011 at 10:43 AM

    Man you went IN today.
    I'm about sick to death of this topic so I'm gonna keep it short.
    Here's what I don't get about all the feedback I've been getting from men. If it's supposedly so easy for women to get sex and if women are indeed the ones who decide when/if sex is going to happen, then why are there all these variables?

    If I had chosen men who don't know me then I could have had sex? Okay so then it's not that easy, is it?
    If I had left my house instead of texting then I could have had sex? That's not all that easy.

    Clearly women and men have very different ideas of what easy is. Because to me easy means I can have sex with the person I want any time I ask for it. All this jumping through hoops you guys seem to want me to do does not equal easy in my book.

    Okay that wasn't short at all was it?

  2. madscientist7

    01/17/2011 at 11:26 AM

    yeah you really went in. like max i'm kinda tired of the argument too. i'm willing to agree to disagree at this point. lol

    i don't think i ruined any future potential booty calls because honestly i could care less if slept with those women again or ever. *shrug*

  3. Starita34

    01/17/2011 at 11:44 AM

    The "shullbit variables" that you mention are a part of our reality though. If you eliminate the societal norms, pressures and judgments (not to mention our morals and wanting to have chex with a man that actually turns us on) that a woman experiences then sure, we can get sex "whenever we want it". But under those conditions, so can men. I mean if we remove societal norms and morals, ya'll can physically overpower about every woman and can take sex anytime that you want it. What's that you say? This is a ridiculous argument? Precisely. It's ridiculous to discount society and personal ethics.

    I gotta know – why is the ease at which women can have sex such an important issue for men? (as evidenced by the passion and shear number of comments on the topic).

  4. Independent Woman

    01/17/2011 at 1:12 PM

    This argument is so friggin' stupid I don't even know where to begin. Who cares who can get random sex easier? It's so ludicrous that this would be important to anybody.

    If I can't sleep with Boris Kudjoe on call, why the HELL should I care about being able to bang Flavor Flav, just because I probably can?


  5. MzDebbieFields

    01/17/2011 at 1:19 PM

    As a woman I must agree with the fellas here…I know I could give the pussy away faster than he find someone too…I wonder why this became so heavily debated tho.??! :S

  6. Kizzy

    01/17/2011 at 4:58 PM

    I find this debate so interesting. I agree with Independent Woman that this debate shouldn't matter because it has nothing to do with our real tastes.

  7. Vanessa

    01/17/2011 at 6:20 PM

    I Have To Agree with Max on this one that it is not easier to have sex at any time if you are women just because the paradigm has changed

    these days men are the ones that are looking to be pursued and are acting like pretty boys brushing their headtops w/ their wavebrush acting like Right Said Fred thinking they are too sexy for everything (but i digress)

    you make it seem as if a woman were to just tell a guy "hey you, yea guy over there meet me in the stall so we can have sex" while at the club and he says YEAAA you make it seem as if the male species are a bunch of dogs (give urselves some credit)

    although i do think that women do have the ability to control sex i doubt any guy wud jump at the oppourtunity to have sex with a female that looks like Wendy Williams or Gabourey Siddibe

  8. Adrian

    01/17/2011 at 10:02 PM

    (2 of 2, cont'd)
    And so, there have been many instances in the lives of these "pretty boys" where they have actively pursued a female (as a true man is supposed to) only to have the female use the upper hand in the situation to mess around with the guy's emotions, lead him on, and cut him loose without giving anything up. That is power women wield. You ladies call the shots when it comes to sex and at times can be very reluctant to have it. For this exact reason I would even argue that Wendy Williams and Gabourey Siddibe could get laid much faster than Boris Kodjoe and Morris Chestnut could. Men are always down to f*ck… women, not so much.

  9. Double K

    01/18/2011 at 3:26 AM

    Damn I wish I wasn't so late on this one (again). But…

    If we compared the difficulty and not the easiness of getting sex between the sexes, we'd have a better outlook of this discussion. A more accurate comparison of the plight that males face would be "I didn't make a lot of money today" vs "I haven't made a dollar ever". See? Sounds similar, but not even close to being the same problem.

    These are minor differences in semantics that are actually quite monumental in meaning. It's the difference between saying "women can't always have the sex they want all the time" vs "men can't have sex anytime even if they wanted". I read somewhere up top that " If you eliminate the societal norms, pressures and judgments that a woman experiences then sure, we can get sex 'whenever we want it'". Well? That's pretty much the point.

    I'm pretty sure it's outside the social norm for a man to lower his standards to go out and buy prostitute or two, and guess what? A lot of those guys STILL GET TURNED DOWN.

    I'll even say that it isn't as difficult to any woman that tried. I've heard the term "fat ugly slut" a million times in my life, whereas that same description of a male is INCONCEIVABLE. If I were to use the adjectives fat and ugly to describe a guy, I'm pretty sure "unlaid" goes right along with it.

    Yeah, it's pathetic! Yeah, it's bad! Yeah, it's believable! As a matter of fact, here are some of the ridiculous, believable things I've heard uttered from men:

    -I'll sleep with anybody. I don't care who it is.
    -I'd screw a dude to spend one night with her.
    -I'd breed her on purpose.
    -I wouldn't mind catching AIDS from her.
    -I'll take my chances.
    -etc, et fucking cetera.

    Bottom line. Comparing desperation to desired selection is a terrible thing.


  10. Jae

    01/18/2011 at 2:01 PM

    Hmmmmm, is this assuming said women are attractive? Because I’m pretty sure if she looks like Sam Cassell and shaped like a sponge full of dirty water, she can’t have sex whenever she wants. Lol.

  11. Double K

    01/18/2011 at 2:18 PM

    ABC. Are invalid. People want them not for their looks but their money/fame. I bet you it wasn't easy for any of them to get laid prior to their rise to stardom. Let's talk about not so good looking female celebrities. I'm pretty sure the fact that they're women would come into play quicker than the fact that they are a star.

    D. Those guys usually ARE randomly laid. Their baby moms is always their sidepiece or something stupid like that. They are usually the same type of desperate men that don't care about consequences I was referring to. Cause if it weren't random it would be less likely that the paternity test would be up for dispute.

    Even with the attributes of good looks, riches, fame, charisma, etc. there is no guarantee that any man will get any. Why do you think we refer to it as "getting lucky".

  12. lincolnanthonyblades

    01/18/2011 at 4:42 PM

    Entering Fame And Money Into The Equation Doesn't Support ANYONE'S Side…

    I Just Seen A Video On Youtube Where A Dude Gave Rapper Lil' B HIS Girl To Smash…And Then Said Lil' B Can Smash His Mom And Sister If He Wanted To..

    Those Are Invalid Variables..

  13. Matthew

    04/23/2011 at 9:39 PM

    Saying any women can get sex anytime anywhere is like saying any man can win a womens heart without much effort

  14. Matthew

    04/23/2011 at 9:44 PM

    The only reason why women get drinks for free are because the majority of them are probably built like Angelina jolie

  15. Heidi

    05/18/2011 at 10:07 PM

    So, I have a question: I'm a fun girl who gets a lot of guys coming after me but no dick. We'll have fun and then the guy runs away or starts asking for money. I am good looking and most of the guys date are too. So why do they run away? I'm not looking for a serious relationship; I usually just want someone fun to have fun with. So I repeat; why do the guys run away?

  16. Heidi

    05/18/2011 at 10:13 PM

    Oh, and why do they ask for money? Cause Honey that is the very thing that will make ME run away! And I believe in going dutch. All I can get is maybe three or four times with a guy and then he stops wanting sex.

  17. thedude

    05/19/2011 at 5:53 PM

    I'd fuck ya.

  18. mike

    06/28/2011 at 8:48 PM

    Another point is I like to put a lot of effort and passion when I have sex, if it's a one nighter or not. I think the partner should enjoy what i'm having just as much, but some partners don't put an effort. bad sex is sometimes better than no sex in my opinion

  19. mike

    06/28/2011 at 9:43 PM

    Do you think women want sex in general as much as men do? of course there are the huge sways either way, but I mean in general. I think men want it much more and get it less.
    it seems like guys are always trying to figure out how to get it

  20. redhood

    08/27/2011 at 10:24 AM

    women can get laid anytime they want. ur a girl. im 31,good looking,nice job and only got laid once when i was 28.that is after 6000 rejections. this girl showed interest in me and wanted to date me. so all u have to do is go to a club,smile,get the free drinks,kiss the guy,n u get laid.

  21. reality check

    09/10/2011 at 11:34 AM

    Yeah truth is, a 6+ woman can get sex much more easily from another random 6+ partner than a 6+ man getting sex from a random 6+ woman.

    An above average in looks woman does not have to spend as much money nor try as hard to get sex with an above average looking guy. And in the reverse situation, a guy has to spend more money, and try harder.

    That's why guys in a relationship with an attractive woman often have anxiety if that woman is known to be promiscuous.

  22. Thomas Y.

    05/26/2012 at 9:59 PM

    Yes, in general, women can get laid much easier than a man, especially if your looking for some ass in a nightclub or party. But, let's not get bitter, this is just part of being human and there is nothing no one can do to alter this general dynamic. We are animals amongst a world of many animals, our species is not unlike thousands of others. In general, women are geared to choose their mate, especially a deserving breeding mate and men are geared for the song and dance trying to open their flower.

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