Who’s More Complicated When It Comes To Love, Men Or Women? C’mon We ALL Know It’s OBVIOUS

So I was having a friendly debate with a young lady yesterday who said the following to me: “Men ACT simple, but they’re just as complicated as women. The only thing straightforward is your desire for booty, but beyond that you guys don’t know what you want.” Though she has a good argument, she was wrong on two points: 1) Men DO know what we want and (2) When it comes to relationships, WOMEN are WAY more complicated than men.

Ladies, let me give you some insight into the male mind: There are only 1 of 2 possible relationship scenarios that we can be in – either we are ‘Together’ or we are ‘NOT Together.’ For a man, we don’t understand the concept of anything IN-BETWEEN, that would relate to things being complicated or hard to understand. Either we are together as girlfriend & boyfriend, engaged or married, or we are NOT together and we are just friends with benefits, cut-buddies, exes who still have sex or just two separate single people. Whatever the specific delineation of our title, the fact is we are either ‘Together’ or ‘NOT Together.’

Now when it comes to women, y’all have an entirely different interpretation of sex and relationship scenarios because you allow your emotions towards the situation at hand to dictate your description of it. How many times have you heard a woman say “it’s kinda complicated right now because we are working through some things” – but if you ask the man what is their current status, he would be like “I’m single, but we do talk and have sex occasionally.”

I have always given women what I call the “Facebook Status Test” and I will now give that test to the women reading today’s post. Go look on Facebook and see if you can find 10 people who have the relationship status “It’s complicated” and then come back and tell me how many were MEN and how many were WOMEN. I can almost GUARANTEE the majority of women who have that Facebook status will be WOMEN. Because while a man feels he is either single or in a relationship when is updating that, women usually apply the thought process below:

In fact, I even remember one of my female friends updating her relationship status to “It’s complicated” at the SAME EXACT TIME her recent-ex had his status as “single.”

The one thing I will say about men is that most of us SUCK at knowing how to get what we want, even though we are usually very clear about what it is that we want. Some men want to just have multiple sex partners, not be committed to anyone and just be free to live their lives – but they DON’T know how to do that without lying or fronting to some of the women to appear to care for them more then they do. Some men may know a woman they really like and have N CLUE as to how to get her in a relationship, so he lies and says he “just wants to be friends” or he’s “Cool with just being friends with benefits.” Unfortunately, In a man’s mind, the path of least resistance to nani is paved on a road of deceit and duplicity.

But in the end, complexity of love is a topic that is made for and by women, because men are very basic creatures when it comes to love and sex: Either it’s “we” or just “me”.

This Is Your Conscience

When Lincoln Anthony Blades is not writing for his controversial and critically acclaimed blog ThisIsYourConscience.com, he can be found contributing articles for Uptown Magazine. Lincoln wrote the hilarious and insightful book "You're Not A Victim, You're A Volunteer: How To Stop Letting Love Kick Your Ass". He is also a public speaker who has sat on panels all over North America and the Caribbean.


  1. lincolnanthonyblades

    02/24/2011 at 4:18 AM

    So Ladies And Gentlemen, I Pose The Question To You: Who's More Complicated When It Comes To Relationships, Men Or Women? Or Are We Both EQUALLY Crazy?

    • Crystal Promo-Fernandez

      02/24/2011 at 11:22 AM

      Women are definitely more complicated…also we have a lot more to deal with in love than men do too!

      • A Grown Ass Man

        02/24/2011 at 11:34 AM

        Explain this statement…

        • Crystal Promo-Fernandez

          02/24/2011 at 11:41 AM

          Women tend to be more high maintenance in a relationship than men. If a man has his girl, he hits cruise control and just chills…while a woman in a relationship can get agitated very quickly and start to really sweat the small stuff..

          We need to be assured and pleased and just handheld in general..

      • Giggles

        02/24/2011 at 11:34 AM

        How so? Isn't love 50/50??

        • Crystal Promo-Fernandez

          02/24/2011 at 11:38 AM

          Love is definitely not 50/50…

          What does that even mean??

          • Giggles

            02/24/2011 at 12:52 PM

            Looks like my comment was posted after you explained….my apologies!

    • MzDebbieFields

      02/24/2011 at 11:35 AM

      I think men and women are both equally crazy, just in our own unique ways

  2. Independent Woman

    02/24/2011 at 12:50 PM

    Men are more complicated because so many lack the BALLS to say what's really on their mind, or do what they want to do, and end up half-stepping and making everything more confusing and complicated.

    Just because women are more emotional doesn't mean we are more complicated. Our emotions are usually tied to an action that can be done to correct it…If she is always crying because you don't spend enough time with her, then spend more time with her.


    • Todd

      08/28/2012 at 1:07 PM

      First off I say what is on my mind. A lot of guys do. Second men are just as emotional as women are.

  3. rayzah

    02/24/2011 at 12:54 PM

    love is a chapter in a mans life, while a woman’s whole book is about love

    • sara

      08/12/2012 at 3:52 PM

      not if the sexes have equal rights

  4. pauliebrooks

    02/24/2011 at 4:59 PM

    “Just because women are more emotional doesn’t mean we are more complicated”This is crazy, of course being more emotional makes you more complicated. You speak as if women have a switch that can be turn on or off so long as you press the right button, when in fact its more like pressing the right button, with the right amount of pressure, the correct number of times.How many men have recieved complaints from their girlfriends about, for example, spending more time, then actually follow through like she wanted, just to hear the complaint, “i think we spend too much time together”? There isnt necessarily one rationale that can explain what any one woman wants because what women want changes from moment to moment, day to day.Dont get me wrong, I’m not complaining, i love women in all their complexity, and as a man can admit, we can be difficult as well. We may fumble with the words sometimes, however, we are easier to please. What really takes BALLS is actually trying to understand and please women sincerely, because ya’ll be straight trippin’ sometimes

  5. Carmen

    02/24/2011 at 5:21 PM

    We both crazy, women to complicated and men to damn simply see equally crazy.

    • Independent Woman

      02/24/2011 at 5:42 PM

      Men can cheat like sociopaths…that is the definition of complex.

  6. Independent Woman

    02/24/2011 at 5:41 PM

    What women want may change specifically in small terms from day to day, but her overall desire does not. Women who want to be loved may complain today about attention, tomorrow about your female friends and Saturday about you playing XBOX too much, but it is all connected to her desire to be loved.

    A man can be in love today, get offered some new nani by some chick tomorrow and then start to question his relationship on Saturday. SMH

  7. Double K

    02/25/2011 at 4:45 AM

    "Unfortunately, In a man’s mind, the path of least resistance to nani is paved on a road of deceit and duplicity."

    Correctamundo! Men lie for good reason (and sometimes out of bitchassness). I hear women staying that "all men are liars". Sothefuckwhat? That's a good thing (to a degree). Only a complete asshole tells the truth 100% of the time. It just depends who you want to be the asshole or the liar. It doesn't have to be outwardly lieing with the mouth, but perhaps lieing in emotions. Just holding back how one really feels. This might have the appearance of being complex when it's really a smokescreen to true intent. At the end of the the day, men still know their relationship status and what they want out of it. If you were to ask a man how he really feels there'd be no guesswork involved in interpreting the meaning.

    People say they'd respect them for it but to actually voice their thoughts unfiltered with accuracy and honesty would just be regarded as disrespectful, tactless with no consideration for anybody else's feelings; labeled as cold, selfish and/or emotionless when it's quite acutally the opposite.

  8. ddddddd

    03/07/2011 at 1:23 AM

    that facebook test thing is soo true lol. the girl will be runnin all over the place bout how its complicated or their going through things when really she fudged up and hes gone, his status says single, and she and her cronies are chasing away any girls he tries to talk to after that because she stil has some magical claim over him. smfh. i tell u bout crazy females man.

  9. Judith

    04/24/2011 at 3:57 PM

    My guy wrote on his relationship status it' s complicated,i want to know the meaning?

    • Ras Trent

      10/09/2011 at 9:03 AM

      It means he's a pussy.

  10. Todd

    08/28/2012 at 1:08 PM

    Depends on the person.

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