Around The Way Girls Are OVERRATED

For those of you who have never visited Toronto, Canada, it is one of the largest and most diverse cities in North America, if not the entire world. As I walked downtown on a gorgeous [and surprisingly warm and sunny March afternoon] on Saturday with my boy, we had to take time out of our day to marvel at the beauty of Toronto women in all their multi-cultural, multi-ethnic and multi-social epicness – and also take a moment to realize how OVERRATED “Around The Way” girls are.

Yes, I LOVE LL Cool J’s song above – and for a long time I desired the same girl he was talking about, because that perfectly exemplified the type of girls who would be chillin’ around MY way. But as we all grow older, more and more men are looking around at the same women and realizing, as much as they will always have love in their heart for these women, they really don’t interest them anymore.

Now, those Around The Way women reflect the epitome of MONOTONY.

At this point, many people reading this are taking this as an affront against Black women, women living in the inner cities and women from the West Indies, when it’s NOT that at all. This is NOT just some average-a*s pro-interracial-dating rant, because the fact is, living in this city, men meet a lot of women of different races who are JUST LIKE the very same around the way girls they are trying to AVOID. I will be DAMNED if I date a blonde-haired, blue-eyed chick talking about “bumboclaat” this and “battybwoy” that – b*tch, don’t you know you already come in the original-chocolate-version?

Fact is, to use myself as an example, I am a nerd with intrinsic nerdy qualities that I embrace as I get older, and the more I embrace my hidden love of house music and rock contrasted against my undying love for reggae and hip-hop, and my desire to travel to Italy and learn new languages as opposed to just travelling to Barbados & Jamaica, I find myself rapidly distancing myself from the girls around my way. To meet a gorgeous Black woman from, let’s say Trinidad, who had nerdy qualities, uniquely different life experiences and different social aspirations than the girls from around my block would be a godsend for a man looking for something OTHER than the same around the way options. So don’t think I’m saying I need to experience a different RACE or NATIONALITY to find women that appeal to my interests and intellect – I just need to STOP looking Around The Way.

But the one reality we CAN’T overlook is the fact that embracing the uniqueness of yourself will inherently come with having to embrace the reality of expanding your dating options beyond what’s hot in the streets of your own neighbourhood – and that may mean dating someone of a different culture, nationality and race. To ignore the FACT that there is astounding beauty, fascinating realities and engrossing positive characteristics in other races other than your own is to be willfully ignorant and, frankly, STUPID.

But understand one thing: The dude I was having this conversation with was a White Italian – and just as I am tired of hood chicks, he is tired of the Jersey-shore wannabe, fist-pumping, overly tanned looking like Hellboy guidettes around HIS way.

This Is Your Conscience

When Lincoln Anthony Blades is not writing for his controversial and critically acclaimed blog ThisIsYourConscience.com, he can be found contributing articles for Uptown Magazine. Lincoln wrote the hilarious and insightful book "You're Not A Victim, You're A Volunteer: How To Stop Letting Love Kick Your Ass". He is also a public speaker who has sat on panels all over North America and the Caribbean.

70 Comments

  1. lincolnanthonyblades

    03/23/2011 at 6:36 AM

    Do You Think You Have Outgrown Solely Dating People From The Same Socio-Economic & Cultural Background As Yourself?

  2. Confused

    03/23/2011 at 8:59 AM

    b/c if toronto, canada is so multi-cultural the " around the way girls" are just your type…right?? please elaborate

  3. Law and Order

    03/23/2011 at 11:48 AM

    Amazing painting, who is the artist?

  4. Law and Order

    03/23/2011 at 11:49 AM

    P.S. "hood chicks" are plaaaaaaaaaayed out like sega.

  5. Crystal Promo-Fernandez

    03/23/2011 at 11:52 AM

    As a Nuyorican born in Queens I absolutely NEED that picture in my house!

    Looks like a painting of my mom and auntie LOL

  6. Law and Order

    03/23/2011 at 11:52 AM

    It's all about hip, ironic hot chicks with super powers, intellect and non clone-like personality.

  7. ATLienSince82

    03/23/2011 at 12:11 PM

    I do wanna add that project chicks do tend to have the best nani! Just sayin lol

  8. Katrina

    03/23/2011 at 12:16 PM

    I think what Lincoln means is that…"he is growing up"

    around the way" just is a familiar term for the "typical" man or woman from your neighborhood who all grew up around the same folks, talking the same language (slang, terminology) from the same schools and had similar upbringings. Well if you grew up in dysfunction, like me…I gravitated toward the norm – dysfynctional men. I learned that those I grew up with never really "grew up" they still talk the same mess, getting into the same messes and then when you are trying to better yourself, you think you're "too good" when really, you just grew up, got outside of your box and out in the world.

  9. Kizzy

    03/23/2011 at 6:03 PM

    Bigging up the ghetto chick with an attitude and an extension in her hair, bamboo earrings, at least two pair is great for a song, but NOT real life!

  10. Omatson

    03/23/2011 at 6:27 PM

    I can definitely relate to this…I was born and raised in Jane and Finch area this going to school at James Cardinal Mcguigan at Keele and Finch…I have had my fair share of going out with the around the way girls from the block, Jungle (Lincoln will know what I am talking about) and definitely Eglinton West. Back then it was a thrill, so much fun, but then I wasn't looking forward in settling down with these girls or having a serious relationship. Instead these girls were more of DTF no questions asked. But that was the past some people grew out of it (like myself) and there are still bredrins I know who still chase after "round the away girls" I guess to each his own.

  11. lincolnanthonyblades

    03/23/2011 at 10:18 PM

    Thanks…

    Amazing Work On His Site..

  12. Lisa-Marie Ebony Caesar

    03/23/2011 at 10:41 PM

    Au contraire mon fraire.. Not as played out as brothers who think that 'exploring' a.k.a interracial dating is the solution to their woman problems. If you don't find 'around they way girls' attractive anymore, as you say, tis your own cup of tea. Don't try to justify your change of heart with this persuasive/argumentative writing, or at least an attempt at one.

  13. Lisa-Marie Ebony Caesar

    03/23/2011 at 11:05 PM

    Not always with knowledge comes wisdom. You wouldn't know that the grass isn't always greener on the other side.

  14. Adrian

    03/24/2011 at 3:09 AM

    I've been saying this forever. But, not just Around The Way Girls, I need to get away from Around The Way People! Everytime, it's the same bs scenarios, same bs conversations, same bs everything. I gotta get the Hell up outta this box!

  15. brownivyx

    03/24/2011 at 1:12 PM

    As a fellow nerd(ette), I agree wholeheartedly. My dating requirements are vastly specific and tend to flow against the norm of current American culture. Thus, I tend to find myself dating and being attracted to a vast array of ethnicities and races. Not better or worse…just different from the staus quo with similar interests. My current beau is blonde w blue eyes and I have more in common with him individually than any of the dudes I grew up with. Go figure.

  16. GrandCentral

    09/03/2012 at 1:57 PM

    I have no clue how I missed this one, so I am late to the party.

    Ah Italia! You must get there Lincoln! I studied abroad there for a summer semester in undergrad. Backpacked with friends through the "boot." Best experience of my life! Thinking back on that experience I guess I understand what you mean by "around the way girl," but I slightly disagree and agree with you. I always considered myself an "around the way girl" and still do. My definition of the term as it applies to me, is a girl who is genuine, from the neighborhood or a certain part of the community, may have left or may still be there, but hasn't forgotten her roots. You can take her back to the block to chill (she won't act funny or ask stupid questions) or you can take her to chill at your boy's penthouse in the city. I am comfortable in all surroundings. So I guess based on your interpretation of the term, I would fall under the category of versatility instead of round the way girl.

    You have to be careful though, just because she is still around the way and appears to not have evolved that may not always be the case. I think that ratchet chicks may be stepping on round the way girl turf and it's causing men to categorize them all under the same umbrella. Now I completely understand the sentiment that you have to date people who are going to mesh well with who you are as a person. I read books for fun on days and times when most will find it to be odd. I can't be relaxed at the crib reading, and he says "nah, I don't read, that shit is corny." The relationship won't work. So I see your point. I used to think that hood guys were so cool, not anymore more. I've matured past that and don't find them attractive at all. It's all fun and games until they open their mouth. If ignorance or anything not of intellectual substance slips out – bye bye.

    It's called growing up and that is a good thing!

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