Around The Way Girls Are OVERRATED

For those of you who have never visited Toronto, Canada, it is one of the largest and most diverse cities in North America, if not the entire world. As I walked downtown on a gorgeous [and surprisingly warm and sunny March afternoon] on Saturday with my boy, we had to take time out of our day to marvel at the beauty of Toronto women in all their multi-cultural, multi-ethnic and multi-social epicness – and also take a moment to realize how OVERRATED “Around The Way” girls are.

Yes, I LOVE LL Cool J’s song above – and for a long time I desired the same girl he was talking about, because that perfectly exemplified the type of girls who would be chillin’ around MY way. But as we all grow older, more and more men are looking around at the same women and realizing, as much as they will always have love in their heart for these women, they really don’t interest them anymore.

Now, those Around The Way women reflect the epitome of MONOTONY.

At this point, many people reading this are taking this as an affront against Black women, women living in the inner cities and women from the West Indies, when it’s NOT that at all. This is NOT just some average-a*s pro-interracial-dating rant, because the fact is, living in this city, men meet a lot of women of different races who are JUST LIKE the very same around the way girls they are trying to AVOID. I will be DAMNED if I date a blonde-haired, blue-eyed chick talking about “bumboclaat” this and “battybwoy” that – b*tch, don’t you know you already come in the original-chocolate-version?

Fact is, to use myself as an example, I am a nerd with intrinsic nerdy qualities that I embrace as I get older, and the more I embrace my hidden love of house music and rock contrasted against my undying love for reggae and hip-hop, and my desire to travel to Italy and learn new languages as opposed to just travelling to Barbados & Jamaica, I find myself rapidly distancing myself from the girls around my way. To meet a gorgeous Black woman from, let’s say Trinidad, who had nerdy qualities, uniquely different life experiences and different social aspirations than the girls from around my block would be a godsend for a man looking for something OTHER than the same around the way options. So don’t think I’m saying I need to experience a different RACE or NATIONALITY to find women that appeal to my interests and intellect – I just need to STOP looking Around The Way.

But the one reality we CAN’T overlook is the fact that embracing the uniqueness of yourself will inherently come with having to embrace the reality of expanding your dating options beyond what’s hot in the streets of your own neighbourhood – and that may mean dating someone of a different culture, nationality and race. To ignore the FACT that there is astounding beauty, fascinating realities and engrossing positive characteristics in other races other than your own is to be willfully ignorant and, frankly, STUPID.

But understand one thing: The dude I was having this conversation with was a White Italian – and just as I am tired of hood chicks, he is tired of the Jersey-shore wannabe, fist-pumping, overly tanned looking like Hellboy guidettes around HIS way.

This Is Your Conscience

When Lincoln Anthony Blades is not writing for his controversial and critically acclaimed blog ThisIsYourConscience.com, he can be found contributing articles for Uptown Magazine. Lincoln wrote the hilarious and insightful book "You're Not A Victim, You're A Volunteer: How To Stop Letting Love Kick Your Ass". He is also a public speaker who has sat on panels all over North America and the Caribbean.

70 Comments

  1. lincolnanthonyblades

    03/23/2011 at 6:36 AM

    Do You Think You Have Outgrown Solely Dating People From The Same Socio-Economic & Cultural Background As Yourself?

    • Vicky

      03/23/2011 at 1:29 PM

      You got me thinking Lincoln….and yes! I have grown out of dating people from the same cultural background as myself because the "jersey shore" stereotype has been the "gino" type for years and I personally cannot handle it. I would like to think that I do not "hate" my own, but I have met my fair share of Ital-Canadian men that I really have nothing in common with. It's like they are stuck back in high school and haven't grown into mature men. I'm sure there are some under a rock somewhere, but for the most part fist pumping, hell boy looking men who wear more hair products than I do are not for me.

      • MzDebbieFields

        03/23/2011 at 1:36 PM

        Yes Vicky!

        I grew up around a lot of Italian and Irish Catholic men and I have outgrown them for sure. My guy friends are still my guy friends but I need to find men that are interested in more to be my man.

        • imakesense

          03/23/2011 at 6:32 PM

          they are friggin hot though

          • Vicky

            03/23/2011 at 7:58 PM

            Yes, until they open their mouths!

      • lincolnanthonyblades

        03/23/2011 at 1:52 PM

        We Are On The Exact Same Page – There Comes A Time When You Have To Branch Out From What You're Too Overtly Use To..

    • Queen Erudite

      03/23/2011 at 1:32 PM

      I am into elevating those from my own community into advancing with me into a new better community. I could leave those men alone, but they keep me grounded.

      • lincolnanthonyblades

        03/23/2011 at 1:53 PM

        The Question Is: At What Point Do You Realize You May be Too Elevated For Those Stuck In The Same Situation With The Same Mentality That You "Graduated" From?

  2. Confused

    03/23/2011 at 8:59 AM

    b/c if toronto, canada is so multi-cultural the " around the way girls" are just your type…right?? please elaborate

    • Kam

      03/23/2011 at 10:46 AM

      Yeah I need a definition of what Lincoln considers an "around the way girl"?

      • Lincoln Anthony Blades

        03/23/2011 at 11:35 AM

        I Thought LL Succinctly Stated What It Is..

        Is "Around The Way Girl" Not Essentially A Euphemism For "Hood Chick"

        • Crystal Promo-Fernandez

          03/23/2011 at 11:51 AM

          Yup…I think you should have just wrote "Project hoes are played out" and everyone would understand LOL

        • Kam

          03/23/2011 at 11:58 AM

          But according to this article wouldn't it be "inset which ever culture" stereotypical girl/guy. So what is stereotypical to someone in one culture might not be to someone of another …the grass is always greener effect.

          • ATLienSince82

            03/23/2011 at 12:10 PM

            Kam, you just arguing for argument's sake at this point LOL

            Come spend a week with me down here in the A, and meet some of these chicks in Bankhead, College Park, Moreland, Clayton County, SW Fulton and basically all of southern Atlanta and you gonna meet the same type of hood chick up in the club half-naked every weekend, who can't speak english and acts ghetto as hell…

            If you want to avoid them chicks then you need to not date around your way..

            Then we can go on the other side of the tracks and stay in Bucjhead, Stone Mountain, Jonesboro, Marietta and North Decatur and you probably gonna meet a lot of stuck up, bougie broads begging to be up in the vip of everyone from usher to waka flocka celeb parties and if you tired of them then dont date around your way..

            The point wasn't that complex

          • Kam

            03/23/2011 at 12:52 PM

            ATL I wasn't arguing I was making a point what you view as stereotypical won't be to another person in another culture. Like the Italian dude who doesn't like the stereotypical jersey shore girls but those girls might intrigue someone from another race.

            And I'm not sticking up for hood rats so please I don't need to visit you I know what a hood rat looks like calm down.

          • ATLienSince82

            03/23/2011 at 1:28 PM

            What does stereotypical have to do with anything??

            He's talking about around your specific way…what's around my way here aint around the way wherever you at..

          • Kam

            03/23/2011 at 2:32 PM

            Obviously YOU want to argue.
            And miss my point (so this is my last comment to you b/c I'm getting tired) Around away girl is a stereotypical hood rat girl that's what a stereotype is.
            Yes growing up and elevating yourself is all good like Katrina said but but going out of your race, culture nationality you might be picking up someone else stereotypical around the way girl/guy. That is all I was saying good day.

          • The_Mad_HATER

            03/23/2011 at 3:23 PM

            kam throws in the towel! lol!!

          • Kam

            03/23/2011 at 3:52 PM

            LOL!!!!! Man I just can't be bothered with the back and forth.

          • lincolnanthonyblades

            03/23/2011 at 2:01 PM

            Co-Sign

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      03/23/2011 at 1:55 PM

      Toronto Is NOT Just One Place…It Is A Megacity With Different Communities All Over..I Grew Up In The Eglinton West Area, And To Say I Could Date The Average Eg. West Girl Now Is Just Not The Reality

  3. Law and Order

    03/23/2011 at 11:48 AM

    Amazing painting, who is the artist?

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      03/23/2011 at 1:55 PM

      I WISH I Could Tell You…It's Amazing Huh?

  4. Law and Order

    03/23/2011 at 11:49 AM

    P.S. "hood chicks" are plaaaaaaaaaayed out like sega.

    • Crystal Promo-Fernandez

      03/23/2011 at 11:50 AM

      Yes they are! I hope Lincoln will be writing about how played out Hood Dudes are too..

      • Law and Order

        03/23/2011 at 12:08 PM

        YES!!!!!!!

      • MzDebbieFields

        03/23/2011 at 1:37 PM

        But they can be sexy too tho!

        #justSayin

      • lincolnanthonyblades

        03/23/2011 at 1:56 PM

        That Can Be Arranged!

        • Crystal Promo-Fernandez

          03/23/2011 at 5:58 PM

          I'm holding you to that you know!

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      03/23/2011 at 1:55 PM

      HEY! I Just Bought A Sega From The Flea Market Last Weekend! Don't You Bad Mouth My Genesis Woman! LoL

      • Law and Order

        03/23/2011 at 3:45 PM

        Playing OLD Sega in 2011 from flea market because it is nostalgic old Sega from flea market, transforms it from played to marginally cool. But don't over do it.

    • Omatson

      03/23/2011 at 6:28 PM

      Nah I still have my sega mega genesis and It is still in good shape LOL.

      • Vicky

        03/23/2011 at 7:59 PM

        Sonic the Hedgehog!!! Best game since Super Mario Brothers! Hahaha!

        • Mike

          03/23/2011 at 10:07 PM

          true!

          • lincolnanthonyblades

            03/23/2011 at 10:18 PM

            Negro Is You Crazy?? What About Streets Of Rage? NBA Live 96?

        • lincolnanthonyblades

          03/23/2011 at 10:19 PM

          You. Are. Insane!

          Sonic Wasn't Even Better Than Super Mario WORLD!

          • Vicky

            03/24/2011 at 10:41 AM

            Hey! I'm a woman! I didn't care for NBA or Streets of Rage.

  5. Crystal Promo-Fernandez

    03/23/2011 at 11:52 AM

    As a Nuyorican born in Queens I absolutely NEED that picture in my house!

    Looks like a painting of my mom and auntie LOL

  6. Law and Order

    03/23/2011 at 11:52 AM

    It's all about hip, ironic hot chicks with super powers, intellect and non clone-like personality.

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      03/23/2011 at 1:56 PM

      You Ain't Never Lied…The Question Is: Where Are They At??

      • Law and Order

        03/23/2011 at 3:33 PM

        (coquettish laughter) ….for you to find out.

      • imakesense

        03/23/2011 at 6:29 PM

        the library, comic book conventions, lady gaga concerts

    • Cally

      03/23/2011 at 3:16 PM

      Let me know …. too.

    • Cally

      03/23/2011 at 3:22 PM

      Some of those girls with the dope personalities, that you can talk to and chill with and got jokes ….look like Gilbert Gottfried's twin sister.

      But i think that woman you eluded to exists.

      For now, I'm going to keep trying to find the holy grail and I'm fully aware that expanding beyond my cultural, racial, geographical "hood" will increase my chances significantly.

      • Law and Order

        03/23/2011 at 3:40 PM

        LMAO @ Gilbert Gottfried. However I did include HOT in the description, coupled with super powers ( a winning combination) You have to summon the Gods to handle a girl like that. Not the same species as 'really cool with nice personality girl'… she's aight tho, but just aight.

      • Crystal Promo-Fernandez

        03/23/2011 at 5:58 PM

        OMG!! LOL!

  7. ATLienSince82

    03/23/2011 at 12:11 PM

    I do wanna add that project chicks do tend to have the best nani! Just sayin lol

    • imakesense

      03/23/2011 at 1:05 PM

      wth…

      • ChloeRayne516

        03/23/2011 at 3:37 PM

        Yeah, girl that is what's hot in these e-streets.. *smh*

        Men been blogging this all over these innanets.

        From what I understand it's due to the fact they are DOWN TO DO WHATEVER, WHENEVER/WHEREOVER, and HOWEVER with basically WHOMEVER… (Ratchet)

        • The_Mad_HATER

          03/23/2011 at 3:48 PM

          its a beautiful thang!

        • imakesense

          03/23/2011 at 6:24 PM

          Oh okay cuz I thought that was referring to their actual vaginal insides being better than other girls. I was like ummmm right if anything its the opposite :s

    • MzDebbieFields

      03/23/2011 at 1:38 PM

      I think this has got to be a myth! What does where you live have to do with how good the nani is?

      I have a marvelous vagina FYI! lol

      • The_Mad_HATER

        03/23/2011 at 3:23 PM

        prove it! and without that fake ass pic of joanna shari!!

        • imakesense

          03/23/2011 at 6:25 PM

          ROFLMAOOO

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      03/23/2011 at 1:56 PM

      Co-Freakin'-Sign

      • Kizzy

        03/23/2011 at 6:02 PM

        I think you need to write about this ASAP!

      • imakesense

        03/23/2011 at 6:24 PM

        ewwwww

  8. Katrina

    03/23/2011 at 12:16 PM

    I think what Lincoln means is that…"he is growing up"

    around the way" just is a familiar term for the "typical" man or woman from your neighborhood who all grew up around the same folks, talking the same language (slang, terminology) from the same schools and had similar upbringings. Well if you grew up in dysfunction, like me…I gravitated toward the norm – dysfynctional men. I learned that those I grew up with never really "grew up" they still talk the same mess, getting into the same messes and then when you are trying to better yourself, you think you're "too good" when really, you just grew up, got outside of your box and out in the world.

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      03/23/2011 at 2:00 PM

      100% Correct

    • Adrian

      03/24/2011 at 3:02 AM

      Real Damn Talk!

  9. Kizzy

    03/23/2011 at 6:03 PM

    Bigging up the ghetto chick with an attitude and an extension in her hair, bamboo earrings, at least two pair is great for a song, but NOT real life!

  10. Omatson

    03/23/2011 at 6:27 PM

    I can definitely relate to this…I was born and raised in Jane and Finch area this going to school at James Cardinal Mcguigan at Keele and Finch…I have had my fair share of going out with the around the way girls from the block, Jungle (Lincoln will know what I am talking about) and definitely Eglinton West. Back then it was a thrill, so much fun, but then I wasn't looking forward in settling down with these girls or having a serious relationship. Instead these girls were more of DTF no questions asked. But that was the past some people grew out of it (like myself) and there are still bredrins I know who still chase after "round the away girls" I guess to each his own.

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      03/23/2011 at 10:20 PM

      Co-Sign..

      Miss Them Jungle BBQ's Though..

  11. lincolnanthonyblades

    03/23/2011 at 10:18 PM

    Thanks…

    Amazing Work On His Site..

  12. Lisa-Marie Ebony Caesar

    03/23/2011 at 10:41 PM

    Au contraire mon fraire.. Not as played out as brothers who think that 'exploring' a.k.a interracial dating is the solution to their woman problems. If you don't find 'around they way girls' attractive anymore, as you say, tis your own cup of tea. Don't try to justify your change of heart with this persuasive/argumentative writing, or at least an attempt at one.

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      03/24/2011 at 2:04 AM

      "To meet a gorgeous Black woman from, let’s say Trinidad, who had nerdy qualities, uniquely different life experiences and different social aspirations than the girls from around my block would be a godsend for a man looking for something OTHER than the same around the way options. So don’t think I’m saying I need to experience a different RACE or NATIONALITY to find women that appeal to my interests and intellect – I just need to STOP looking Around The Way."

      I'm Sorry…What Point Were You Trying To Make Again…?

  13. Lisa-Marie Ebony Caesar

    03/23/2011 at 11:05 PM

    Not always with knowledge comes wisdom. You wouldn't know that the grass isn't always greener on the other side.

  14. Adrian

    03/24/2011 at 3:09 AM

    I've been saying this forever. But, not just Around The Way Girls, I need to get away from Around The Way People! Everytime, it's the same bs scenarios, same bs conversations, same bs everything. I gotta get the Hell up outta this box!

  15. brownivyx

    03/24/2011 at 1:12 PM

    As a fellow nerd(ette), I agree wholeheartedly. My dating requirements are vastly specific and tend to flow against the norm of current American culture. Thus, I tend to find myself dating and being attracted to a vast array of ethnicities and races. Not better or worse…just different from the staus quo with similar interests. My current beau is blonde w blue eyes and I have more in common with him individually than any of the dudes I grew up with. Go figure.

  16. GrandCentral

    09/03/2012 at 1:57 PM

    I have no clue how I missed this one, so I am late to the party.

    Ah Italia! You must get there Lincoln! I studied abroad there for a summer semester in undergrad. Backpacked with friends through the "boot." Best experience of my life! Thinking back on that experience I guess I understand what you mean by "around the way girl," but I slightly disagree and agree with you. I always considered myself an "around the way girl" and still do. My definition of the term as it applies to me, is a girl who is genuine, from the neighborhood or a certain part of the community, may have left or may still be there, but hasn't forgotten her roots. You can take her back to the block to chill (she won't act funny or ask stupid questions) or you can take her to chill at your boy's penthouse in the city. I am comfortable in all surroundings. So I guess based on your interpretation of the term, I would fall under the category of versatility instead of round the way girl.

    You have to be careful though, just because she is still around the way and appears to not have evolved that may not always be the case. I think that ratchet chicks may be stepping on round the way girl turf and it's causing men to categorize them all under the same umbrella. Now I completely understand the sentiment that you have to date people who are going to mesh well with who you are as a person. I read books for fun on days and times when most will find it to be odd. I can't be relaxed at the crib reading, and he says "nah, I don't read, that shit is corny." The relationship won't work. So I see your point. I used to think that hood guys were so cool, not anymore more. I've matured past that and don't find them attractive at all. It's all fun and games until they open their mouth. If ignorance or anything not of intellectual substance slips out – bye bye.

    It's called growing up and that is a good thing!

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