“A Woman CAN’T Have A Lot Of Sex With A Lot Of Men And Be Perfectly SANE”

Earlier this week I was having a conversation with my boy about this girl that we both know who, for lack of a more accurate and descriptive phrase, is addicted to getting her nani walls beaten in like a Fela Kuti drum. This girl started to have sex at about 18 years old and is already quickly approaching 90 sex partners – at her current age of 23. She embodies the phrase “I will try at least everything once in my life” as she has willingly communicated to us that she has been in threesomes, she’s bisexual and she has experimented with damn near every sex act NOT including beastiality, necrophilia or pedophilia. What’s interesting is that she is considered a step away from CRAZY based SOLELY on her sexual history – which made me wonder why we don’t apply the same mentality towards men?

After my Boy and I spoke with little Ms. Promiscuous, we pondered aloud around some other friends about the state of her physical and mental mindset. My personal conclusion was that she really needed to slow down with all the random sex IF she doesn’t want to wake up pissing lava, because one of the main side effects of an incredibly active sex life is a high-ass exposure to STD’s. My boy’s conclusion was that she probably should slow down if she still wants to be considered wife material one day because at this rate she is nothing more than a local smut in our city that no man with ANY common sense or self-respect would bring home to meet his mama.

But what I found very interesting was what our female friend who was listening in on the conversation had to say about the topic. She said:

“I feel so sad for this girl, because obviously she has some severe mental problems that she doesn’t know how to handle and she’s using sex as an escape. Someone needs to get this chick checked out because no woman can have THAT much sex with THAT many men and be perfectly sane…”

Now the woman who said that is NO saint at all herself and is definitely NOT a sanctimonious B*tch, but I really didn’t feel comfortable with the assertion she was making. Essentially her point is that a woman who WILLINGLY makes the decision to have a lot of sex with whomever she wants to, is not a “Sex-positive Feminist” [a term I have recently learned thanks to http://lidia-anain.com/] but is actually a VICTIM of a larger mental problem. I especially found this troubling because my same female-friend [as well as most, if not ALL of my female friends] don’t bring this issue up as it relates to men.

In fact, when we discuss men who get it in with various h0es from different area codes, the mass consensus tends to be that he’s worthy of A LOT of praise for having SO MUCH game. In fact, in our society we tend to elevate men who get a LOT of nani as being MORE in control of his mind, because he knows how to successfully execute his p*ssy-getting plans much better than other men who don’t have the same mental skill-set to be as successful with women. So basically men who get a lot of ass = The Most Interesting Man In The World, and women who get a lot of richard = mentally unstable victim.

But when it comes to who we decide to have sex with, when we decide to do it and how many times, are men and women really THAT different?

I am very familiar with the research that has been done on women who suffer from sexual abuse and rape and how that can spur on a relentless sexual urge in her, but it’s definitely a harsh and somewhat IGNORANT leap in logic to state that ALL women who have a lot of sex with different men are basket cases. As far as I’m concerned, women CAN smash a lot of dudes and be sane – which just means she’s simply nasty as HELL.

This Is Your Conscience

When Lincoln Anthony Blades is not writing for his controversial and critically acclaimed blog ThisIsYourConscience.com, he can be found contributing articles for Uptown Magazine. Lincoln wrote the hilarious and insightful book "You're Not A Victim, You're A Volunteer: How To Stop Letting Love Kick Your Ass". He is also a public speaker who has sat on panels all over North America and the Caribbean.