“A Woman CAN’T Have A Lot Of Sex With A Lot Of Men And Be Perfectly SANE”

Earlier this week I was having a conversation with my boy about this girl that we both know who, for lack of a more accurate and descriptive phrase, is addicted to getting her nani walls beaten in like a Fela Kuti drum. This girl started to have sex at about 18 years old and is already quickly approaching 90 sex partners – at her current age of 23. She embodies the phrase “I will try at least everything once in my life” as she has willingly communicated to us that she has been in threesomes, she’s bisexual and she has experimented with damn near every sex act NOT including beastiality, necrophilia or pedophilia. What’s interesting is that she is considered a step away from CRAZY based SOLELY on her sexual history – which made me wonder why we don’t apply the same mentality towards men?

After my Boy and I spoke with little Ms. Promiscuous, we pondered aloud around some other friends about the state of her physical and mental mindset. My personal conclusion was that she really needed to slow down with all the random sex IF she doesn’t want to wake up pissing lava, because one of the main side effects of an incredibly active sex life is a high-ass exposure to STD’s. My boy’s conclusion was that she probably should slow down if she still wants to be considered wife material one day because at this rate she is nothing more than a local smut in our city that no man with ANY common sense or self-respect would bring home to meet his mama.

But what I found very interesting was what our female friend who was listening in on the conversation had to say about the topic. She said:

“I feel so sad for this girl, because obviously she has some severe mental problems that she doesn’t know how to handle and she’s using sex as an escape. Someone needs to get this chick checked out because no woman can have THAT much sex with THAT many men and be perfectly sane…”

Now the woman who said that is NO saint at all herself and is definitely NOT a sanctimonious B*tch, but I really didn’t feel comfortable with the assertion she was making. Essentially her point is that a woman who WILLINGLY makes the decision to have a lot of sex with whomever she wants to, is not a “Sex-positive Feminist” [a term I have recently learned thanks to http://lidia-anain.com/] but is actually a VICTIM of a larger mental problem. I especially found this troubling because my same female-friend [as well as most, if not ALL of my female friends] don’t bring this issue up as it relates to men.

In fact, when we discuss men who get it in with various h0es from different area codes, the mass consensus tends to be that he’s worthy of A LOT of praise for having SO MUCH game. In fact, in our society we tend to elevate men who get a LOT of nani as being MORE in control of his mind, because he knows how to successfully execute his p*ssy-getting plans much better than other men who don’t have the same mental skill-set to be as successful with women. So basically men who get a lot of ass = The Most Interesting Man In The World, and women who get a lot of richard = mentally unstable victim.

But when it comes to who we decide to have sex with, when we decide to do it and how many times, are men and women really THAT different?

I am very familiar with the research that has been done on women who suffer from sexual abuse and rape and how that can spur on a relentless sexual urge in her, but it’s definitely a harsh and somewhat IGNORANT leap in logic to state that ALL women who have a lot of sex with different men are basket cases. As far as I’m concerned, women CAN smash a lot of dudes and be sane – which just means she’s simply nasty as HELL.

This Is Your Conscience

When Lincoln Anthony Blades is not writing for his controversial and critically acclaimed blog ThisIsYourConscience.com, he can be found contributing articles for Uptown Magazine. Lincoln wrote the hilarious and insightful book "You're Not A Victim, You're A Volunteer: How To Stop Letting Love Kick Your Ass". He is also a public speaker who has sat on panels all over North America and the Caribbean.


  1. lincolnanthonyblades

    04/29/2011 at 3:47 AM

    Ladies & Gentlemen, What Are Your Thoughts On This? Do You Think Women Who Engage In More Sexual Activities Are Actually Strapped With Harsh Mental Problems, Or Do You Think That's More Of A Cop-Out For Acting Hoe-Ish?

  2. chloerayne516

    04/29/2011 at 5:12 AM

    Wow 1st Commenter.. #FML I can't sleep so watching "The Royal Wedding"

    Hmmm I say it all depends based on the age of women who I will consider that maybe she's either Krazy or just A Horny Harlet…

    At her age and so many bodies on her yes I will say something must've traumtized her when she was going up (absence of daddy, uncle bouncing her on his lap a littlte tooo long, etc.) But an older woman in late to mid thirties I would lean more to "A Horny Harlet" because she may have started smashing late in life and/or got boo'd up or wifed down at a young age and now she is single she is just getting her Christopher Columbus on by exploring different richards.


  3. panamaenrique

    04/29/2011 at 8:41 AM

    Everyone needs a hobby. *shrugs*

  4. Danni

    04/29/2011 at 9:47 AM

    Almost 90 dudes at 23??????? Her sweet and petite done lost ALL its shape SMH.

    Neway, I won't speak on her sanity or lack thereof, because who knows? Just because she doesn't fit into the stereotypical mold that women are supposed to fit into in regards to s*x doesn't make her crazy. Sounds like she just became fully comfortable with her sexuality before she fully developed some common sense.

  5. @craziijnell

    04/29/2011 at 10:16 AM

    I can't pretend that I wouldn't be shocked if a woman told me she had 90 partners in 5 years. Or in life for that matter. But, the truth is that she's getting the side eye while there are some men who make it a mission to sex as many women/men as possible. We don't give the same degree of criticism to these men. The reasons I've heard is that it's just natural for men to enter as many holes as possible. I don't believe that. I don't judge homegirl. I don't even think she had some severe imbalance or trauma but I would suggest she get Gardasil shots, condoms, and frequent testing.


    04/29/2011 at 10:27 AM

    you wanna know why theres perceived insanity there…..its because we havent as a society decided our stance about the sexually empowered female….it both threatens and excites us at the same time….we glorify both the madonna and the whore which confuses the shit outta young women coming into their sexuality…..its like theres no inbetween, or its sure as hell hard to balance, its almost as if our society wants us to 'pick a side'…so when a woman is deciding who she is sexually its often to one extreme or another…..the girl who wants to play it up, indulges every sexual whim she can think of and the one who wants to be a ' good girl' stays on her proverbial high horse and doesnt sully her image with anything that could be even remotely sexual…..moral of the story….subscribing to either EXTREME is NUTS !!!!

  7. MzDebbieFields

    04/29/2011 at 11:40 AM

    This pisses me off so much! There's nothing wrong with a woman deciding to have as much sex as she wants with as much people as she wants as long as she's safe and protecting herself!

    If we were talking about a man who had that much sex with that many women we would be talking about how much of a pimp or a player he is. #StupidDoubleStandards

  8. MzDebbieFields

    04/29/2011 at 12:04 PM

    I know that, so if women are to be treated as equals we can't be hypocritical and look down on them for having the exact same mentality.

  9. @craziijnell

    04/29/2011 at 12:04 PM

    Seriously? I recognize the pressure among men and their male counterparts/peers but I haven't recognized any women encouraging men to pipe freely. If anything, IMO, we frown upon it and think it's nasty. It's disheartening to hear of men in their late 20s and beyond still talking about "bodies". It's sad and gross. I know men who purposely hide their sex numbers because the discussion would be way to uncomfortable. So where's the encouragement?

  10. imakesense

    04/29/2011 at 12:09 PM

    I agree with what that female said for alot of cases but not all. Its easy to differentiate from the females lashing out due to abuse and the liberal, new age, free love feminists pnce comparing different aspects of their personalities and intelligence levels.

    I also believe that alot of men that are unsafely promiscuous to her extent are victims of abuse as well, its just that males will never admit this and it is never brought to light. Have you really analyzed the likes of most pimps? Those men have extreme mental problems linking back to their childhood upbringing

  11. pauliebrooks

    04/29/2011 at 12:22 PM

    Is her name Nikki? I think I know that hoe.

  12. imakesense

    04/29/2011 at 12:22 PM


  13. Independent Woman

    04/29/2011 at 12:33 PM

    This makes my soul cry out for her.

    The truly SAD part about this whole situation isn't if she's potentially crazy, it's the fact that she doesn't realize her self-worth as a woman is so much HIGHER than she even realizes.

    She is sleeping with 18 men a year since she turned 18. A SENSIBLE woman would realize that her body, mind and soul is worth SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT.


    04/29/2011 at 1:00 PM

    yeah her site is great! I agree!!
    I question the term feminist in association to it though….I have an issue with feminism in general and i wont go into to it in detail as its a tangent…..but in my opinion feminism plays a pivotal role in why our modern society is so schitzophrenic about the female gender….its about female empowerment for me, not feminism….

  15. @craziijnell

    04/29/2011 at 1:35 PM

    On the last point, "unicorn mated with pegasus", I agree. LOL.

  16. ATLienSince82

    04/29/2011 at 1:55 PM

    I don't mind if a woman got some bodies on it, just as long as its low…the problem with virgins is you don't know if they fuckin' or not and who wants to wait that long to find out..

  17. ATLienSince82

    04/29/2011 at 1:57 PM

    Yawl females give dudes with the highest body counts the most praise and attention…I'm gonna even go as far to say that yawl get more attracted to dude based on much other females like dude..

    I have seen this numerous times

  18. Chloerayne516

    04/29/2011 at 1:57 PM

    Let any guy honestly tell us that he's slept with 90 women in a five-year period and almost all of us would go running in the opposite direction.


  19. vixen

    04/29/2011 at 1:59 PM

    Does this woman have any kids?? Maybe she is in a profession that requires such actions. Just saying…

  20. ATLienSince82

    04/29/2011 at 2:04 PM



    04/29/2011 at 2:32 PM

    nice concept …I would love to agree
    but my question is
    what makes a man feel like a real man when it comes to his sexuality as per you?
    *note: sexuality not partner


    04/29/2011 at 2:35 PM

    LMAO!!! Indeed…thats right up there with females who want a refined thug

  23. Jason Howe

    04/29/2011 at 3:40 PM

    I feel but I have seen kids fucking out of nothing but peer pressure. Little girls walking about thinking they was gonna die because they bleed a little and shit. So I feel you, but there is an age where your decision making is fucked up because your still a child!!!

  24. @craziijnell

    04/29/2011 at 3:54 PM

    And you're ok with your sexual antics… and that's ok for you! Now for me, I'd prefer any guy I choose to copulate with…to keep that on the low. If he has double his age in partners, I just don't see me wanting to know that. Or that being a turn-on in ANY way. Same thing if you met a woman saying exact sex stats, I'm sure you wouldn't consider her a potential mate. Can you tell me I'm wrong?

  25. Drgray91

    04/29/2011 at 6:15 PM

    "Strapped with harsh mental problems"? eh… maybe but it would have to be applicable to men too.

    Perhaps the reason seemingly more woman fall prey to the characterization is for decades it was preached, urged, and taught that women are more emotional than rational as opposed to their male counter-part. Following in that (faulty) logic, a woman with a typical sex frequencies having emotional damage would be an acceptable line of thought.

    I don't buy it, but traditional idealist or anyone falling prey to misogynistic pedagogy might.

    However, biologically speaking, it is innate in our make-up to fulfill our sexual desires.

  26. mimi

    04/29/2011 at 8:23 PM

    First of all who cares how many man she slept with is her pussy and as long as she using a condom is all good pussy always go back to normal so is not like the something wrong with it people push out five kids and the pussy is still fine so what wrong with that. she is grown and she can do as she pleases with her pussy. she should try working for an escote agency lol we hiring. http://www.gardenofedenescorts.com/

  27. Gisi

    04/29/2011 at 11:40 PM

    Just because you have sex with a bajillion people, doesn't mean ur nuts (no pun intended) or a slut. Sluttyness is going around screwing any and everybody who throws it at you and thinkin thats cool. Going around sleeping with people because it makes you feel better about yourself, having sex with people to get them to like you, and other variations of that statement is usually indicative of some sort of psychological issue.

    Having sex with who you want, when you want, because u want to (no not the same thing as my description of sluttyness) is sexual liberation. Yeah 90 people in a 5 year period (or even a lifetime) is a huge number. But thats her business. If she's being safe and discreet about her encounters, then more power to her.

  28. Emma Torley

    05/06/2011 at 12:13 PM

    Even though I'm not about casual sex… This girl is sleeping with less than 2 guys a month for the past 5 years….That number doesn't seem that high compared to some men I know. A grand total of 90 does seem pretty high, but who are we to judge. Athletes, Musicians, and Celebrity men are probably tripling that number with easy and no worries what so ever. Such a double standard…somethings will never change (SMH)

  29. Peter

    05/13/2011 at 12:49 AM

    Before everyone goes off the deep end, an article published in 2007 (http://www.nytimes.com/2007/08/12/weekinreview/12kolata.html) basically states that the average number of sexual partners for a heterosexual male and that for a female MUST be equal. As far as the numbers go, men lie up, and women lie down.
    Judging someone based on such narrow criteria seems to me to be more envy of what this person can do than an intelligent assessment of their sanity.

  30. The Yak

    06/09/2011 at 5:55 AM

    Great post, 90 dudes in 5 year? I am sorry no devine intervention or baptism can even put me in the position to wife her. Her Walls must be none existent. "skinny niggaz drown in this…" – The chick from CB4

  31. Joe America

    02/28/2012 at 3:33 PM

    That's 1 1/2 guys a month, not unusual in the West. She is no victim of anything. While not anything unusual, my experience with women like this is metal stability is always an issue. You would not want her to know details about your life or where you lived.

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  33. RJustice

    07/29/2015 at 9:33 AM

    Women tend to get shamed mostly by other women since a woman putting out for a lot of guys ruins it for the rest of them to get attention. Also their is zero skill involved in getting a man to sleep with her.
    She doesn't need to be charming, rich, have social life, a car, her own place, swag.
    She ain't even gotta be pretty ( seen too many ugly ass baby mamas ). Hell, depending on how thirsty the men are she can be morbidly obese and STILL never hurt for richard.

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