Celibate Women, Read Before You Knock The Dust Off Your Nani And Bring It Out Of Retirement

You wanna know what’s SIZZLING hot in the streets nowadays? Forced, temporary celibacy. I must know about 13 or 14 women who have decided to put their vagina’s on the bench like Jamaal Magloire and make sure it sees NO damn playing time – And as weird as it may seem for a man to be saying this, I FULLY support them in their Anti-richard endeavours. I mean let’s be honest, most women who make the decision to put their p*ssy in the corner on a TIME OUT probably used and abused it in some reckless way that taking a break is the best thing for her uterus’ health. But Celibate Women, as great as it is to have self-respect – don’t fall in love with that celibacy sh*t.

I was talking with a woman I know who is currently going through her 14 month of celibacy and although I have the utmost respect for her penis-less journey, she said something that just didn’t sit right with me: She said she was having NO trouble remaining celibate – because it was easy. She also went on to state that she doesn’t even have to TRY to control her urge for sex because it’s so simple to deal with, and as much as I KNOW I’m supposed to high-five her for saying that, I just couldn’t co-sign it.

Now I know anyone stupid and ignorant enough to skip over what I’m writing will simply miss the point and think “you just mad because you know it’s hard to hit it now!” when obviously that’s not the case. But the reason that comment didn’t sit well with me is because as much as we demonize being in touch with our sexuality, our sexuality IS an extremely important part of our intrinsic make-up and while it’s OK to control it, to have celibacy be “easy” makes me worry about the possible dehumanizing effect of imposed sexlessness.


Most of the women I know who are celibate are doing so begrudgingly and I really like that, because it shows there is still a well-rounded aspect to her humanness. As beings wandering this earth, our desire for sex is just as natural as our desire for food, water and entertainment, no matter what ANYONE tries to tell you. Don’t let social constructs of imposed “decency” make you believe that your Sensual side is something to be ashamed or disgusted of, because that side is an extension of your intrinsic passion that makes you who you are, and when you decide to ignore that sexual side, you are ignoring a valuable piece of yourself.

But I get it. To let that side run free is the first step to degrading yourself, so keeping it in check is necessary. And while I support a woman’s fight to resist the temptation to have sex, I would suggest she also fight the temptation to NOT want to have sex. There is an excruciating middle ground that I believe is healthy for celibate people [man or woman] to live in. Because while we all like to believe that sexual reinvigoration is just a NATURAL thing that will happen to celibate women once they decide to knock the cobwebs and battery radiation out of their nani and put it to use again, the reality is that’s NOT a given fact. Some women come back to the sex game with their vagina more frigid than polar bear braces, and NEVER really shake it.

Celibacy is cool. Sex is cool. Self-respect is even better than BOTH. So ladies keep your vagina on the shelf as long as you must, but just be wary of 2 things: 1) The day it has become SIMPLE to be celibate, your nani has lost a step like Jordan with the Wizards that it will NEVER get back and (2) When you finally decide it’s the right time to smash again, please don’t expect that poor man to make Heaven & Earth shake on your clitoris because the sex will PROBABLY be underwhelming like a mutha—– because YOU will suck.

This Is Your Conscience

When Lincoln Anthony Blades is not writing for his controversial and critically acclaimed blog ThisIsYourConscience.com, he can be found contributing articles for Uptown Magazine. Lincoln wrote the hilarious and insightful book "You're Not A Victim, You're A Volunteer: How To Stop Letting Love Kick Your Ass". He is also a public speaker who has sat on panels all over North America and the Caribbean.

87 Comments

  1. lincolnanthonyblades

    05/26/2011 at 3:25 AM

    Ladies & Gentlemen, What Are Your Views On Forced Temporary Celibacy? Does It REALLY Help In Any Way Or Is It Just A Happy Ideal That Never REALLY Works?

  2. @craziijnell

    05/26/2011 at 10:09 AM

    I think it's so dumb. I don't want to knock anyone who is going through it. I tried it once but my version of celibacy is completely warped (and not celibate at all). I understand the desire to NOT have sex because this whole dating thing sucks. I just don't have the power to say 14 months or indefinitely because I will slip up and slip up in a wonderful way. I see no point in denying myself something that I will inevitably fail and feel guilty about later.

    Nope. Not me. Not now.

  3. imakesense

    05/26/2011 at 12:19 PM

    This was a really interesting post. Something new.

    "Our sexuality IS an extremely important part of our intrinsic make-up and while it’s OK to control it, to have celibacy be “easy” makes me worry about the possible dehumanizing effect of imposed sexlessness."

    Loved this line, in total agreement.

  4. OnGoodlucksbehalf

    05/26/2011 at 12:52 PM

    I have to disagree, self-respect is not better than sex.

  5. Goddess Intellect

    05/26/2011 at 1:17 PM

    OMG I just posted about this yesterday and used the same pic..are we fraternal e-twins??!!! LMAO…ya ummm celibacy is becoming a damn trend. I thought about celibacy on the weekend but its Thursday and I've decided that I'm not going to put any label or restriction on my sex life…I'm just going to use…wait 4 it…my head (and not his) when deciding when and who hi give the goods to kthxbye

  6. Independent Woman

    05/26/2011 at 1:26 PM

    *Deep breathe*

    The end goal of living celibate is realizing your self worth and understanding that your vagina is not a turnstyle that should be ushering different men in and out on a regular basis!

    Sex can dominate the minds and thoughts of men and women alike, so sometimes you need to remove that dominating thought in order to keep things CLEAR: Such as your professional and personal goals, as well as not letting yourself get dick-matized by any gross guy that passes by..

  7. ChloeRayne516

    05/26/2011 at 1:32 PM

    "Celibate Not By Choice But By Circumstance"

    OMG that picture gave me LIFE

    lol

    But that statement does tend to ring true more often than the latter (by choice) alot of women going around saying they are celibate as if it's by choice when in reality it is due to forced situations (slim pickins, recent breakup, dude ain't acting right, etc.) . My hat goes off to any women who chooses that "Life" because clearly it ain't for everybody.

    SN: And No, just because you haven't got Dycked Down in 3-4 weeks DOES NOT A CELIBATE WOMAN MAKE. #Management

    Some chics be running around talking about I'm celibate because they ain't had none in 5 days. GIRL. BYE. that's not celibacy you just putting your cooch on TIME OUT/R&R.

  8. ATLienSince82

    05/26/2011 at 1:37 PM

    I find it funny that yawl females didn't address this line:

    "I mean let’s be honest, most women who make the decision to put their p*ssy in the corner on a TIME OUT probably used and abused it in some reckless way that taking a break is the best thing for her uterus’ health."

    Is that TRUE?? Do yawl decide to turn to celibacy after a sloppy gang bang or fucking that nigga Beetlejuice from the Howard Stern show??

  9. gina_c30

    05/26/2011 at 1:55 PM

    Celibacy *in my opinion* is just taking a break to re-evaluate…. I was celibate for 2 years after my long-term relationship ended; it wasn't really an active choice, simply that I was not going to have sex just for the sake of having sex. Yes, I had urges but I know I could never handle “friends with benefits” type of situation or working it out every now and then with the ex…
    That being said celibacy is not for everyone…

  10. A.Y-Dot

    05/26/2011 at 2:28 PM

    Well I’ve been celibate for 2 years going on three in a few months and if I didn’t lapse and erupt cos I couldn’t hold back in 09 it would have been 5 and I can tell you its not easy!!!
    But I’ve made a choice stemming from my faith to be celibate. It is God given to feel sexual desires but you can’t give God given things to just anyone. You can’t ‘cast your treasure amongst swines cos they will trample on it’ Proverb. And I know from experience.
    I’m holding on to mine till its the right time and right guy.
    I will desire sexual intimacy, I’m human and sex comes from God, but I’m treasuring it this time for the right person and the right circumstances.
    And so the battle continues

  11. MzDebbieFields

    05/26/2011 at 2:43 PM

    Girls who feel they need to practice celibacy are weak minded

  12. ChloeRayne516

    05/26/2011 at 3:21 PM

    Really!!???

    Come on Debbie you can't be serious. 1st of all it would have to be the total opposite "STRONG MINDED" because how many woman do you think can go a certain length of time without man feelings/trimmings??? Let's be Real Here.

    Celibacy takes discipline — STRONG discipline and I don't see anything weak minded about that.

  13. Vicky

    05/26/2011 at 5:05 PM

    WHAT??!?!? Are you serious?!?!?! A person decided that they want to be celibate, running away from an offering Richard after a year (throwing a term out there, whatever the length of time it may be) of no sex takes more strength than spreading your legs open…..which I'm starting to think that doesn't happen often with you!

  14. Jason Howe

    05/26/2011 at 5:14 PM

    Come on Dee, that takes crazy strength so I respect anyone male or female who has that much discipline over themselves…

  15. grandgryph

    05/26/2011 at 10:53 PM

    i don't think that the celibate woman necessarily "loses" a step, celibacy is actually a very good way to recharge the sexual batteries and make it fresh and new again as she (re)discovers herself. granted, any idea can be misused – and some of course do abuse celibacy – but a person who chooses to refrain from sex for a year is likely in a better position (snicker) to make wise relationship choices – and stick to them.

  16. Chloerayne516

    05/26/2011 at 11:39 PM

    From a women's perspective she is on the money..

  17. EricaVAIN

    06/20/2011 at 7:36 PM

    OMG.. That last statement is not necessarily true. About 2 months ago I ended my 2 and a half year run of celibacy and you would have thought I moved mountains once me and my guy had sex for the first time. He thoroughly enjoyed it and praised how tight my nani was. And yes even though it was a very long time since I had sex that first time was wonderful for me. So your two last statements are not universal for everyone.

  18. Steve

    08/01/2011 at 11:58 PM

    Celibacy is a sign of mental illness or poor health, depending on how long you refuse to 'give in'. Women are prone to this more than men, and they unknowingly cause thier own misery to themself. THREE months without, the 'excuse' can be maybe you are just 'too busy' or having some kind of troubles in your life. SIX months doing without, there is something wrong, and you should be smart enough to realize it. Could be from still carrying hatred towards somebody, and letting it affect your thinking or desire. A YEAR or more without, you are seriously going through a self destructive stage. You are most likely in bad health, a miserable person and are fully aware of long it's been. You are wandering aimlessly and letting your life pass you by, still carrying a grudge about somebody or something in your past. To go on that long avoiding intimacy, there is no 'excuse'. You are simply 'SEXUALLY LAZY' and making it worse on yourself, by not being able to live a normal happy life. And someday when it's too late you will look back on your life, and realize where the problem started

  19. Maya

    08/07/2011 at 2:33 PM

    What and who are you basing this off of? You clearly have never been with a woman after celibacy! lol Wrong Wrong Wrong!!

    Every touch and kiss is 100 times powerful!! My business down there was VERY active after 7 years of celibacy! My ex lasted 2 minutes because he couldn’t handle it! Wack? Please lol You keep telling yourself that!! I guess I can tell my self that having 1 million dollars is wack…since I don’t have it LOL

  20. clsummers

    10/16/2011 at 3:35 AM

    Celibacy is about more than just not having sex. It's about learning who are and what you really want out of life. I too believe in being celibate and have created a website and book dedicated to called The Kama Sutra of Celibacy: 101 Ways to be Successfully Celibate. The Kama Sutra of Celibacy is designed to help singles live a successful life of celibacy through practical exercises that addresses the mental, emotional, spiritual and physical aspects of celibacy while providing guidance, encouragement and support. Check us out at http://www.kamasutraofcelibacy.com

  21. What_A_Woman

    11/10/2011 at 4:30 PM

    My dear, you are probably a diagnosed Borderline Personality or Bipolar Disordered individual. Tht might explain why you would resort to flaming what amounts to a normal, healthy, responsible, disciplined and mature decision concerning one's sexuality. If women want to engage in sex with men they are not married or otherwise seriously committed to, that is their perogative. Such is not the healthiest choice, but people have the right to do whatever theyt want with their bodies. For instance, these same women could elect to become sex workers, prostitutes, escorts or what have you. Celibacy is a choice, period. Even those one might construe as forcibly celibate are exhibiting the choice to be so, because there is absolutely no shortage of men (or women for that matter) that are availble and desirous to indulge in sex with other individuals. I have been celibate for going on 6 years now. It was difficult for the first year or so, after that the capacity for my becoming overwhelmed by carnal sexual urges was trememdously diminished to the point that if I have sex now it will be a conscious, deliberate, mature and rational decision I have made. I understand why it makes some people uncomfortable to read that a female actually "loves" having sex, but I would remind them that these females (and society) espouse such sexualy assertiveness in women to be a GOOD thing. How a man would construe it, I believe, would have a great deal to do with that man's motivations relative to females. If a man thinks like a predator, he will applaud female sexual aggression. If he is religious, the opposite. I try to frame things in terms of how I would feel if it were me or someone I loved, like, say, a daughter. I would absolutely prefer my child to wait until she were married before giving her body to a man. Otherwise, she is liable to make the same mistake i did, which was giving my body to man after man (I have had a total of 10 male lovers during my dating years prior to marriage. I an now happily divorced) and no doubt acquiring a 'reputation' in the minds of these men. If a woman were to tell me she positively CANNOT be celibate for any period of time, I would urge her to seek mental health counseling. Only borderline and bipolar women lack control of their sexual impulse. Truth.

  22. Heidi

    11/26/2011 at 5:09 AM

    It’s ridiculous, how many people actually believe that it is their right to JUDGE other’s sexual preferences. We are a divine race, which is exactly why we see sex as a choice, while animals do not. Only you can know what’s best for your body, if you listen.

    Also I must repeat what quite a few have already said. If you think it’s ‘healthy’ to have casual sex with multiple partners, that’s your choice. But to a more logical and intellegent person, you’re the one that looks like a fool. Thinking about yourself and others as mere animals is completely self-destructive to the self’s spirituality and the intellectual mind, because it simply is not the case.

  23. Miriam Pia

    12/16/2011 at 10:50 AM

    Every religion and its scriptures in the world has all kinds of comments about this. In the old days, married people would go through periods of celibacy to avoid having another 6 children. I think people do need to abide by their own conscience. Sexuality is natural and we do need to respect our needs and feelings. I do believe sex is very able to be spiritual and a means by which learning to love and to share love of other/s and of self as well as being the natural means to bring in a new generation of people is all good. I do also believe that sex is vulnerable to being degraded and abused by both men and women. I do feel that women have often suffered from feeling pressured to become sexually active while also being taught that "Its up to us women to make the men not screw around by saying NO to sex!!" I have met women who find celibacy very helpful and preferable. Others really find it counter productive. Its better to have sex in a mutually loving and respectful compatible relationship with enough money and willingness to raise together any children produced. That's not always possible – sometimes because of intentional bad behavior and people who really do want 'to corrupt others'. In other cases, its just the limits of reality as we experience it. Like everyone else, I'm just doing the best I can to manage my sexuality. I think treating one's own and other peoples' sexuality with love and respect is very important.

  24. Shara

    03/14/2012 at 12:52 AM

    I found this article ignorant and the tone patronizing. Sounds like it's written from the point of view of a man that doesn't actually respect a woman decision to do what's best for her body/life. How could a decent woman not get tired of sex and being expected to be constantly available for it? Men are out swearing that women exist to humor and submit to men with the woman's needs ever-second if addressed at all. The best thing the majority of women can do is cut all these 1/2 assed men the hell off, because a man never will act right until he realizes that he has to earn what he wants it isn't just there because he's got it like that. Hurry up and go on to your mid-week chic, or who ever, if you can't wait for a girl who's not bargaining with her body. If you don't know how to build a relationship, that's probably why you're hopping from fix to doomed fix in the first place, and then trying to pretend that something good is going to come out of something cheap, and that an honest (not built on those lies that your hormones tell you) relationship doesn't exist.

  25. Pingback: Celibate women | Ponderandpray

  26. Next Level

    12/26/2012 at 12:47 AM

    I chose to be celibate, due to a conscious decision stemmed from my relationship with the Lord. My body is not a revolving door for everybody to just walk on through. I believe a woman's body is a temple; a temple that belongs to God and also, her future husband, period! Me personally, I just got tired of casting all my beautiful treasure to pigs who just trampled them over foot and not appreciate what came with it, like substance, intelligence, a capacity of loving, and many other amenities. I choose to be properly prepared for the one that will be for me, so yes….sex can wait because in the end, my husband will take great delight in what I have in store! :)

  27. BigCityGirl29

    02/15/2013 at 11:20 AM

    <div id="idc-comment-msg-div-571885313" class="idc-message"><a class="idc-close" title="Click to Close Message" href="javascript: IDC.ui.close_message(571885313)"><span>Close Message</span> Comment posted. <p class="idc-nomargin"><a class="idc-share-facebook" target="_new" href="http://www.facebook.com/sharer.php?u=http%3A%2F%2 Fwww.thisisyourconscience.com%2F2011%2F05%2Fcelibate-women-read-before-you-knock-the-dust-off-your-nani-and-bring-it-out-of-retirement%2F#IDComment571885313&t=I%20just%20commented%20on%20Celibate%20Women%2C%20Read%20Before%20You%20Knock%20The%20Dust%20Off%20Your%20Nani%20And%20Bring%20It%20Out%20Of%20Retirement%20-%20ThisIsYourConscience.com" style="text-decoration: none;"><span class="idc-share-inner"><span>Share on Facebook</span></span> or <a href="javascript: IDC.ui.close_message(571885313)">Close MessageA little news flash for you on your comment about YOU WILL SUCK at it. This is a woman you are speaking about right? It has to be like riding a bicycle for us and I don't think SHE will suck at it. I think unless some does just what you said not to expect once she does it again she will be left with complete disappointment because she gave it up for someone who was not worth shaving their legs for. I don't mean to be brutal but it's a fact, women don't forget or stop knowing how to preform at having sex. I'm sure the men reading this know it's the truth.

    Unfortunately for me I have been Celibate for over 6 years now but not actually by choice.
    I'm a widow of 7 years now. I am only 48 years old. I missed and wanted sex after losing the love of my life. I did have sex a few times in the early years, about 1 year after his passing. I've dated and had sex with 2 different people of course not at the same time. Each of them sucked at relationships in general and also in bed. You can have one or the other but when you have both, it will NEVER work. I'd like to meet someone and eventually have sex again but people only meet on-line now and I'm not up for putting my resume out there to have to weed out the bad seeds.

    I am very proud of myself for being able to accomplish such a thing. You go through many phases and trust me it is very difficult to do, even as a Widow or Widower. In many of these phases you just want to find someone to have sex with hopefully who WAS GOOD AT IT and then they can go on about their way and call you when necessary again. But feel so good about your choice not to be handing it out to any dick that comes through Dodge City that you continue to remain celibate because the LONGER YOU GO WITHOUT THE MORE YOUR SENSE OF ACCOMPLISHMENT can be felt. I miss sex, I want it like crazy but I'm not going to give it up to someone who wants to dick every hoe he ever made contact with. My self respect grows with every passing month I live without it.

    And in closing let me add, I HAVE NEVER OVER USED IT. Kudos to me, your writing tells a lot about you. I hope you are never lucky enough to ruin it for a women who was celibate but gave it up to you.

  28. Nika

    03/05/2013 at 11:22 AM

    The reason she has no trouble staying celibate is because, it gets less tempting the longer you avoid it… Also, why is sex degrading? That's awful…
    Sex isn't all it's cracked up to be, society puts way too much emphasis on it. Love, family, travel, culture, music there's SOO much else out there it's not like the pinnacle of earthly existence. It feels good but it's not something ppl should lose their heads over (even tho ppl always do smh)

  29. kiara

    09/02/2013 at 12:37 AM

    *Women are more often than not celibate BECAUSE they’re having trouble coming to terms with the fact that their current sexual candidates aren’t about shit. If you’re good in bed it is like riding a bike. I’m so over men telling women what to do, and advising us like they aren’t the reason we’ve come to whatever conclusions we have about the opposite sex. Men who defend bad sex are more often than not bad themselves. If a man CAN’T move heaven, and earth in SOME way then there’s no point in unwrapping the cake. Women need to quit faking it cus men have no clue how awful most of them are in bed. It’s why women don’t mind being celibate in the first place! You don’t see men walking around doing that shit. They’ll screw anything because puxxy in general is good. Certain women know the power of theirs… others pass it out to men who are are in no way worthy, or settle for “headaches”, and a pretend climax.

  30. Janina

    11/01/2013 at 2:02 AM

    To the writer.
    Just because you really cannot imagine being penis-less,and that if you ever try to get into this kind of journey it will be very hard for you to not get the urges, it does not mean that your friend was making what she said up. Some people really do not have a problem with not having sex.
    I'm one of those. I can tell you, I'm really hot and men desire me, I love sex, a looot, but I can go for a very long time without sex.
    You'll probably whack my head if I tell you, yes I eat like a construction worker and I don't get fat…and that's also true.
    Just because things don't hold true for yo, it does not mean people are making things up.

  31. Baby

    11/21/2013 at 3:43 PM

    Writer's comments is right, sex is a natural things, like having food…….. I any body want to be"CELIBACY". its okay.. But forced celibacy is not good.The word 'decency' is every everything. Make sex is also a decency with his/her partner. If they have a mutual understanding and make it naturally. I like the last suggestion most.

  32. rOSY

    09/09/2014 at 10:09 AM

    Thanks for your information. after reading this article, I gain some knowledge and i gathered some information's. Keep posting. Thank you again.

  33. Sascha

    05/23/2015 at 6:31 PM

    What an idiotic post. Clearly written from an ignorant man's perception. I have been celibate for years and have never felt better!

  34. Olivia

    05/25/2015 at 5:08 PM

    This reminds me, in an off-hand way, of an article I saw (wouldn't waste the brain cells reading) that claimed semen relieved depression in women.

    Let's address this, shall we…
    "I mean let’s be honest, most women who make the decision to put their p*ssy in the corner on a TIME OUT probably used and abused it in some reckless way that taking a break is the best thing for her uterus’ health."

    From the beginning it's been easy to keep it to myself because men are disgusting, objectifying animals who will run a woman down trying to get to said nani. When men curse you out and call you names for not responding favorably to their below base come-ons, nani definitely doesn't want to play.

    Most importantly I am a whole entire woman who wants to be loved and respected – not just dicked up. If you can't meet my human needs, I have no reason to give the time of day, let alone my p*ssy.

    I've been saying it forever…there's more to life than sex! And just because a woman says she's not interested doesn't mean she's insta-gay, it doesn't work that way.

    Men, and vicariously sex, and dating have always been more stress than it's worth to me, so I chose not to indulge and I'm SO much happier as a result. I am being true to myself in making that choice. When you're being true to yourself, it is easy. It doesn't mean I've lost my humanity. If anything it means I'm governed by my brain instead of my hormones and I have great self control. That woman in the picture could get laid if she wanted to, it's about choice and self-esteem. The level of focus society puts on sex is a turn-off to me. It's overkill and feeds my desire to not be on the bandwagon. I know the value of what I have and I know what makes me happy. Giving it up to some worthless Richard, ain't it.

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