Celibate Women, Read Before You Knock The Dust Off Your Nani And Bring It Out Of Retirement

You wanna know what’s SIZZLING hot in the streets nowadays? Forced, temporary celibacy. I must know about 13 or 14 women who have decided to put their vagina’s on the bench like Jamaal Magloire and make sure it sees NO damn playing time – And as weird as it may seem for a man to be saying this, I FULLY support them in their Anti-richard endeavours. I mean let’s be honest, most women who make the decision to put their p*ssy in the corner on a TIME OUT probably used and abused it in some reckless way that taking a break is the best thing for her uterus’ health. But Celibate Women, as great as it is to have self-respect – don’t fall in love with that celibacy sh*t.

I was talking with a woman I know who is currently going through her 14 month of celibacy and although I have the utmost respect for her penis-less journey, she said something that just didn’t sit right with me: She said she was having NO trouble remaining celibate – because it was easy. She also went on to state that she doesn’t even have to TRY to control her urge for sex because it’s so simple to deal with, and as much as I KNOW I’m supposed to high-five her for saying that, I just couldn’t co-sign it.

Now I know anyone stupid and ignorant enough to skip over what I’m writing will simply miss the point and think “you just mad because you know it’s hard to hit it now!” when obviously that’s not the case. But the reason that comment didn’t sit well with me is because as much as we demonize being in touch with our sexuality, our sexuality IS an extremely important part of our intrinsic make-up and while it’s OK to control it, to have celibacy be “easy” makes me worry about the possible dehumanizing effect of imposed sexlessness.


Most of the women I know who are celibate are doing so begrudgingly and I really like that, because it shows there is still a well-rounded aspect to her humanness. As beings wandering this earth, our desire for sex is just as natural as our desire for food, water and entertainment, no matter what ANYONE tries to tell you. Don’t let social constructs of imposed “decency” make you believe that your Sensual side is something to be ashamed or disgusted of, because that side is an extension of your intrinsic passion that makes you who you are, and when you decide to ignore that sexual side, you are ignoring a valuable piece of yourself.

But I get it. To let that side run free is the first step to degrading yourself, so keeping it in check is necessary. And while I support a woman’s fight to resist the temptation to have sex, I would suggest she also fight the temptation to NOT want to have sex. There is an excruciating middle ground that I believe is healthy for celibate people [man or woman] to live in. Because while we all like to believe that sexual reinvigoration is just a NATURAL thing that will happen to celibate women once they decide to knock the cobwebs and battery radiation out of their nani and put it to use again, the reality is that’s NOT a given fact. Some women come back to the sex game with their vagina more frigid than polar bear braces, and NEVER really shake it.

Celibacy is cool. Sex is cool. Self-respect is even better than BOTH. So ladies keep your vagina on the shelf as long as you must, but just be wary of 2 things: 1) The day it has become SIMPLE to be celibate, your nani has lost a step like Jordan with the Wizards that it will NEVER get back and (2) When you finally decide it’s the right time to smash again, please don’t expect that poor man to make Heaven & Earth shake on your clitoris because the sex will PROBABLY be underwhelming like a mutha—– because YOU will suck.

This Is Your Conscience

When Lincoln Anthony Blades is not writing for his controversial and critically acclaimed blog ThisIsYourConscience.com, he can be found contributing articles for Uptown Magazine. Lincoln wrote the hilarious and insightful book "You're Not A Victim, You're A Volunteer: How To Stop Letting Love Kick Your Ass". He is also a public speaker who has sat on panels all over North America and the Caribbean.

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