Why Successful Women Are Damn-Near UNDATEABLE

It was hard enough dating her when WE were making all the money

In THIS POST I wrote yesterday, Malik posted this gem:

“Well to be fair, women having careers is relatively new phenomenon. This may be the first generation where the majority of women are expected to have jobs. A woman’s femininity isn’t based on whether or not she can ‘bring home the bacon’ conversely that is in part how men and women define masculinity.”

Allow me to expand on that piece of real talk from my OWN perspective.

And to assist me, I have copied in ANOTHER comment from that very same post made by ATLienSince82:

“I don’t think yawl females know how to deal with being a career woman just yet…some of yawl making 100K a year and mad cause you gotta be the financial head of the household and the other half of you making that kinda money don’t know how to treat a man with any respect..”

And therein lies my point as it pertains to Successful career women. What makes these women, who for all intents and purposes should represent amazing catches, seem to be the very type of women that men nowadays are attempting to steer clear of, is the idea that these WOMEN don’t know how to settle into their OWN success.

See, the most accepted school of thought on this subject is that, most men who “can’t handle” a driven, successful woman are mostly just b*tch-asses who don’t have the prerequisite amount of BALLS to deal with all the GREATNESS that is the modern day woman. But what we haven’t investigated is the fact that a lot of these women aren’t even comfortable in their own SUCCESSFUL-ASS skin their damn-self.

"Making 225K a year is really f*^king up my relationship"

Men and women have ALWAYS had trouble seeing eye-to-eye since the beginning of time when Fred used to cuss Wilma’s ass out for not dropping off Pebbles at Barney’s yard for at least ONE night so he can get some much needed reverse-cowgirl action. Men and women just have very different outlooks on things and that’s just inherenly built into us. But in the last 30 years, something strange happened that made it a MILLION times harder for us to get along: Women started to become just as, and in many cases, MORE successful than men – and it seems in many cases it occurred all too fast for WOMEN just as much as it did for MEN.

Now I personally think there is nothing SEXIER than a BBW [NOT Mo'nique, I mean Black Business Woman like I wrote HERE] and I have constantly made a point of stating that the more women keep reaching for the sky, the more attractive I, and other men with sense, will find you. But while it’s clear that successful women are happy about climbing the professional ladder, they are NOT happy with climbing OVER the vast majority of potential male suitors out there and even LESS comfortable with maintaining a healthy and non-emotionally abusive relationship with these men.

"Driver, what time is it? 4 PM?! Well, it will be HAMMER time if this nigga doesn't have dinner out when I come home!"

Now I am NOT speaking on single successful women because we have talked about them to DEATH, but we are discussing the dynamic of the successful woman who is in a relationship with a man who is NOT as successful.

So here’s my thesis: The reason why so many men are having difficulties dealing with successful women in relationships is because being the successful bread winner is so NEW to women on a whole, that the flourishing and prosperous woman has not been able to truly or accurately define how she WANTS to be treated by men period.

This Is Your Conscience

When Lincoln Anthony Blades is not writing for his controversial and critically acclaimed blog ThisIsYourConscience.com, he can be found contributing articles for Uptown Magazine. Lincoln wrote the hilarious and insightful book "You're Not A Victim, You're A Volunteer: How To Stop Letting Love Kick Your Ass". He is also a public speaker who has sat on panels all over North America and the Caribbean.

147 Comments

  1. lincolnanthonyblades

    05/05/2011 at 5:06 AM

    Ladies & Gentlemen, Do You Agree That Successful Women Do Have A Lot Of Difficulty In Stating How They Realistically Want To Be Treated?

    Or Are We Reaching Too Far Here And The Problem Lies In B*tch-Ass Men Who Can't Handle The New Modern-Day Gender Roles?

    • MistaHarsh

      05/05/2011 at 11:38 AM

      based on your other post from today you'd think Men and women have COMPLETELY switched roles.

      I don't think the issue is with women and how they cope with their "new found" success. Even with a million dollars women don't want to be treated like men they still want to be treated like women and get dominated. Men were able to do that by controlling the money, but times have changed and we haven't found a good alternative. We can't get physical so we've resorted to feminine mind games and bitch$%@ness.

      On the flipside some of these women are purely motivated by their fear of becoming like their mothers -completely dependant on a man while the man often abuses that power at will. They will catch vietnam flashbacks whenever a man tries to "lay down the law" and as a result are "damn near undateable"

      • ChloeRayne516

        05/05/2011 at 12:06 PM

        "On the flipside some of these women are purely motivated by their fear of becoming like their mothers -completely dependant on a man while the man often abuses that power at will. They will catch vietnam flashbacks whenever a man tries to "lay down the law" and as a result are "damn near undateable" "

        Agreed!! but not only that but the fact that alot made of have useless fathers in the household – YEAH he was there BUT he was useless and they saw mommy doing everythang to keep a roof over their heads, food on the table and clothes on their backs so it got instilled in them that they need to Save Themselves and Don't Wait For or Depend on NO MAN because it Ain't Happening. #TrueStory (my girlfriend is like this although she is married — but she is the Mister in that House *lol* )

        • ATLienSince82

          05/05/2011 at 12:44 PM

          Why are yawl acting like there wasn't strong black women before yawl started getting big corporate jobs…I got aunts who were housewives who were tough as hell and assertive and all that and never worked in a office a day in her life..

          • MistaHarsh

            05/05/2011 at 12:53 PM

            We're living in times where its all about the all mighty dollar. We base our worth on our bank account over everything else.

          • ChloeRayne516

            05/05/2011 at 12:53 PM

            This isn't about being a SBW this post is about being a BBW and yes our grandmothers and their mothers were tough as corn husk but it was a different toughness, (spankings/running a strict household, etc.) and just like you said she was a HOUSEWIFE but this post is touching on women not knowing how to turn off their boardroom/corporate america/needing to make my own 6 figures strength and become soft n pink with her man due to her having to go out into the workforce.

          • @craziijnell

            05/05/2011 at 3:39 PM

            RIGHT! Historically, Black women have always been working. In the late 19th and early 20th century, Black women were the breadwinners. Not just in someone's home, but as seamstresses, hosting borders in their homes, laundresses, etc. In some cases, men couldn't find consistent work. So I really don't see how folks are acting like successful Black women is an anomaly.

        • Jason Howe

          05/05/2011 at 10:37 PM

          Agreed Chloe, I do think it has a lot to do with the type of man who was (or was not in your home growing up). If you had a control freak as a pops and a stay at home mom, well yeah you might want to be more financially independent. We can give many scenarios of what might instill a certain mentality in a women, but bottom line is yes they dad she grew up with or didn't grow up with will play its part.

    • Jason Howe

      05/05/2011 at 10:34 PM

      I am not sure they want to be treated any different then women at any other period in time. They want to feel secure in your arms, respected, and have that someone who will push them back if they get a little to out of line (bbm wink). I have married a woman who made more then me, and I am currently dating one who also makes more then me. I think it has more to do with the behavior of both parties involved. If I came into these relationships with my ego crushed there might have been an issue. If the lady came in dictating everything financial because she makes a bit more, well then we have another issue. If you have two like-minded folks who just want to push forward and build together there is no issue who has the money. Maybe it is because I am comfortable with the “new” gender roles I actually seek out women who are brining home equal bacon or more, damn I’m even prepared to cook it!!!

  2. threerings1911

    05/05/2011 at 7:42 AM

    Women, at the end of the day, still need to be treated like women. The problem lies in that when some women reach a high level of success, now they believe they are bigger, better, more dominate than the men they are with. Unless the man she is with is making equal to or greater than what she is. This means that a lot of these type of women view financial success as equal to who should do what and who should be the leader of the relationship. That tends to be why most men steer clear from the outset from this type of woman.

    • Crystal Promo-Fernandez

      05/05/2011 at 11:00 AM

      So what's the answer for women? Should we stop being so successful so men can feel better about themselves?

      • threerings1911

        05/05/2011 at 11:30 AM

        Honestly, I am not sure. One change is being made and another is being forced. Those do not mix.

      • MistaHarsh

        05/05/2011 at 12:26 PM

        First – you should be successful don't under achieve to satisfy our ego.

        Second – As human beings we need to start seeing the value in other things outside of MONEY. A man can lead spiritually, emotionally and with wisdom. Women don't write off your man's good advice because he makes 5k less than you. Men don't get salty if your girl has the rare ability to hold you down financially you are not less of a human being! You can still lead the household in other ways, try to learn them.

        • Kam

          05/05/2011 at 2:31 PM

          I agree with everything you wrote in this post.

        • Jason Howe

          05/05/2011 at 10:44 PM

          On point!!!

      • ATLienSince82

        05/05/2011 at 12:46 PM

        Nah yawl just need to stop tryna to throw it all up in a brothas face at every turn. Men are having a hard enough time trying to find employment, we don't need to come home to hear our woman tell us we ain't shit and how great she is.

        • MistaHarsh

          05/05/2011 at 12:55 PM

          "Men are having a hard enough time trying to find employment"

          Maybe we should be focusing on why this statement rings true because women aren't have that same issue.

          • ChloeRayne516

            05/05/2011 at 1:58 PM

            Yes. Please and Thank You!!!!

        • ChloeRayne516

          05/05/2011 at 12:56 PM

          If you got a woman like that then you DEFINITELY need to kick her miserable butt to the nearest dumpster.

          • Jason Howe

            05/05/2011 at 10:46 PM

            Total agreement, When I moved to my current city I did not work for a bit, never did my ex throw that in my face. She was a down chick and she took care of us until I found something in my field. If you got a chick who is talking that type of shit, well you picked the wrong one.

  3. threerings1911

    05/05/2011 at 7:45 AM

    I would also go as far as to say it should not be considered bitch assness if a man does not want to date a certain type of woman. He has that right not to just as a woman likewise has the same rights to choose who she dates.

    • A Grown Ass Man

      05/05/2011 at 11:09 AM

      I agree and disagree here…Men that will immediately write off a woman who makes more money or is more successful without first judging her on a case-to-case basis are usually suffering from some type of bitchassness.

      But if a man chooses to not date a woman who makes more than him specifically because she may be condescending, annoying or disrespectful then that is a smart move on his part..

      • threerings1911

        05/05/2011 at 11:30 AM

        And the later is what the point was driving to good brother.

        • A Grown Ass Man

          05/05/2011 at 1:04 PM

          My fault, I jumped the gun..

        • @TAARenaissance

          05/05/2011 at 4:41 PM

          I second that

      • Jason Howe

        05/05/2011 at 10:49 PM

        I agree with you, however what happens on the flip side? I have stayed away from women who did not make as much as me. A bit a go I meet a great chick, but she was making a lot less then me and I did not see any way to get her to do more with herself. She was not ghetto or anything like that, just from a small island where she was not expected to be much more then a house wife. I just could not see ME managing everything in a household in these days and times so I let her float…. was I wrong?

        • @TAARenaissance

          05/06/2011 at 9:02 PM

          Nope,,, Keep your standards supah high… alot of Women need to lower their standards…

  4. Vicky

    05/05/2011 at 9:37 AM

    There are waaaaaaay too many reasons why this could be difficult and not simply that successful women do not know how they want to be treated.

    Simple math of becoming successful, go to high school, then off to university for x amount of years (depending on the course of study and if there are any further courses required for your plan), find a job (let's just say a corporate position), work your way up and TA DA – Success! Now, let's not forget the personal issues that go along the way. High school sweet heart shatters your heart, your university bf cheats on you and marries the next girl, you find a job and get treated unfairly, why? Simply because you are a women! Just growing up in general does a number to a women.

    Point of this rant is very simple, successful women tend to have a thicker shield because of their hardships of getting to where they. People are still getting used to the fact that women are now "bringing home the bacon" instead of men…….and that's both genders! The successful women has forgotten how to be treated like a lady for the simple fact that to get where she is, she needed to "act like a guy".

    Let's be real – how many of you know a successful woman who is girlie girl? Most are strong, articulate, well educated and very stern. How many can say that the woman managers, directors, CEO, VP, etc, are "b*tchier" than their male counter part? How many would rather work for a male, than a female?

    • Malik

      05/05/2011 at 10:41 AM

      This ties back in to women's newly established roles. For most men, the only women who he is around during his childhood that have authority over him are women in his family (mother, aunt, grandmother, etc.) and the female teachers. How those women exert their authority over men is completely different than how women do it in working world. The few women in our lives that do have authority over us growing up are usually sweet and naturing, but they will pull a belt out on you if you deserve it.

      In the workplace because women have to act like men to get into the power positions, it's jarring to have a woman over you talk to you like that because that isn't how it's been for the majority of your life.

    • A Grown Ass Man

      05/05/2011 at 11:12 AM

      I completely disagree with your rant Vicky, but I respect your point of view..

      My problem with your point is that you seem to make allowances for women to combine their professional decorum with how they choose to treat their loved ones which is not acceptable whether man or woman. I know men who are complete d*cks in the boardroom, but are loving fathers, husbands and even grandfathers when they are in the confines of their home.

      It's not acceptable for men to act like this and it's certainly not acceptable for women to act like that as well.

      • Vicky

        05/05/2011 at 11:28 AM

        I agree with you that it's not acceptable, I'm not trying to make it come across that it is. However it's to prove more than anything that they lose themselves in becoming something that is acceptable in their field that they may forget (for a lack of better words) on how to be in a relationship because it's likely that they did not have a relationship during their studies or when they were working on becoming successful.

        • A Grown Ass Man

          05/05/2011 at 1:07 PM

          I think women who do that are simply not good partners and that is simply their own fault. Let's also remember there are many successful women in great relationships who are loving and caring and competent to their man's feelings.

          • Vicky

            05/05/2011 at 2:25 PM

            There are so many different personalities and qualities in every human being.

            Let's flip this to a "nerd", you know, the one who everyone used to make fun of at school, who did nothing but study and was a great student. This child who buried him/herself in books now at the age of 30, graduated with honors from university and is successful (sex aside because it doesn't matter if they are a M or F here). What do they lack usually (once again, in general)?? Social skills! They do not know how to interact with others, don't have many friends, etc. HOWEVER, there are other "nerds" who did learn these social skills and are very successful as well. It's all on the person, their qualities and how they utilize their developed skills. That's all

      • threerings1911

        05/05/2011 at 11:32 AM

        agreed

    • ATLienSince82

      05/05/2011 at 12:48 PM

      LOL @ this

      You made it seem like all women are poor little victims…how do you she wasn't sucking off the football team behind her man's back in high school…or broke her college sweethearts heart…not all women deserve to be treated like they been done wrong…some of yawl have done a lotta wrong too!

      • Vicky

        05/05/2011 at 1:39 PM

        Wow! No where in my comment was I trying to make women look like poor victims, that was just an example of a growing woman working towards her success. Hardships are not necessarily men, she could have been abused as a child, or told that she cannot do it because she is a woman. The harder you work on a big pay off, you tend to lose focus on other aspects of life because you are so determined and focused on your goal.

        This isn't a conversation of the wrong doing of women or that we deserve to be treated like we all have been done wrong. We are not perfect (both men and women). This is a conversation about the switch of gender roles and us adapting to it. Further, reacting to the change.

  5. threerings1911

    05/05/2011 at 10:14 AM

    And those women, unless they make adjustments, will be alone.

    • Vicky

      05/05/2011 at 12:36 PM

      That's why most are in their 40's getting married or their first child

    • ATLienSince82

      05/05/2011 at 12:49 PM

      Yup…if you can do bad all by yourself then go 'head on..

    • Jason Howe

      05/05/2011 at 11:09 PM

      Yes those women, and I think we are painting with a broad brush when we even had this discussion. This discussion could lead one to think this is the majority and not a small fraction of women who behave like this.

  6. Danni

    05/05/2011 at 10:21 AM

    I could literally talk about this subject all day!!!!

    But I'll just start by saying that it sucks that we live in a time where women who choose to use their God-given gifts, to pursue their dreams, become LESS attractive to men. It's really, truly sad.

    • Danni

      05/05/2011 at 10:40 AM

      OK, now that I've read the post lol. I gotta say I somewhat agree with this one. Especially this statement:

      "They are NOT happy with climbing OVER the vast majority of potential male suitors out there and even LESS comfortable with maintaining a healthy and non-emotionally abusive relationship with these men."

      Now I'm only speaking for myself here. I've dated guys who have made less and more money than me (I am an equal opportunity employer), but I have to admit that I've had the easiest relationships with the guys who've made more. Sad, but true. Neither sex is comfortable with this shifting of the guard when it comes to making money yet. As much as a lot of us try to deny it, we aren't that far removed from that 1950s June Cleaver way of thinking as we like to think. Men want to lead, and yes, a lot of women still want to be led! But for some reason, we can't seem to get past the idea that the biggest money maker determines who is in charge.

      • Crystal Promo-Fernandez

        05/05/2011 at 11:03 AM

        Do you want to lead or be led???

        • Danni

          05/05/2011 at 11:38 AM

          Hands down, I wanna be led. I can't have it any other way. But that's just my opinion.

          • MistaHarsh

            05/05/2011 at 12:47 PM

            That opinion is of the majority. Question to you: Can a man assume that role without the financial backing? If so in what ways?

          • Danni

            05/05/2011 at 1:49 PM

            He sure can!

            So, let me start off by saying that in my house, my pops followed this same line of thinking. "All I have to do is financially provide for my family, and I'm automatically the man, the leader." And he couldn't have been further from the truth. He wasn't a father, or a husband, or even a provider, but he was a da*n good bank! Dude is just now realizing at 57 that it takes more than that to be a "good man".

            For me, to "lead" me is more than throwing money at me. Be supportive of me, be thankful for and cognizant of the support, honor, and respect that I give to you, be a father and good role model to my children (if we choose to have them), and defend and protect this life that you've built with us. And none of that ish I mentioned requires a dime.

          • ChloeRayne516

            05/05/2011 at 2:05 PM

            Danni I love you for this comment!!!

            FYI- In the future please stay out of my head.. :o)

          • MistaHarsh

            05/05/2011 at 4:32 PM

            I love your response and it works if both members in the relationship do not define success by money(and thats the type of person you should want to build with anyways)…wait did you call your Dad a dude?

          • @TAARenaissance

            05/05/2011 at 4:51 PM

            Sounds good… But how many women actually apply this thinking…

            Again it sounds good

          • ATLienSince82

            05/05/2011 at 12:49 PM

            Wait, are you even in a realistic tax bracket to be led though?? Seriously speaking?!

          • ChloeRayne516

            05/05/2011 at 2:05 PM

            What's a realistic tax bracket?

    • A Grown Ass Man

      05/05/2011 at 11:16 AM

      I think too many women say this, and the problem I have with this statement is that it does not reflect the real issue. Men, in my experience, aren't cavemen who begrudge a woman's success…they are like all guys, they want to be loved and respected by the woman they love and respect.

      I too love BBW's (black business women) but if you are going to act overly cocky and condescending about it, then you will definitely become less attractive to me..

  7. GinaforDummies

    05/05/2011 at 10:21 AM

    I am an avid believer in, "if you can't get what you want on your own, you don't need it." That being said I'm 21, I'm in college and I have a part-time job. I don't look to a man for anything, and I never have. Maybe it's because of the "absentee-father" or my "successful" mother, but either way I don't depend on anyone let alone a man. In your other post today about the "3 Types of Ninjas the Black Community Can Do Without" you basically touched on why I can't, and won't depend on a man because they aren't what they used to be like my grandfather.

    That being said, I'm after success. I'm in college, on my straight and narrow to graduate school pushing towards being somebody, whether in a cubicle working a 9-5, or publishing my novel, whatever I want to get what I need on my own, and if a man can't handle me wanting my own, and not depending on them, picking up the tab when I'm on a date (because trust me I don't want to accept ish from just anybody), then that's on them. Yes, it would be great to be treated like a woman, but success or no success (because I have yet to reach that level) MEN don't know how to be a MAN, and their egos and pride get in the way of what's important. Gender roles have definitely switched, and since a man can't be your protector (that's the natural order men-protector women-nurturer) then you 'gotsta' do what you have to do. Point blank period. If they can't deal, catch you in traffic…. (pulls off in my car). I really hope that someone can handle me getting what I want on my own.

    • A Grown Ass Man

      05/05/2011 at 11:18 AM

      I am an avid believer in, "if you can't get what you want on your own, you don't need it."

      GINA, you really need to explain this statement, because I don't want to get you mistaken before I comment.

      • GinaforDummies

        05/05/2011 at 11:33 AM

        Material possession, feeling secure, feeling loved, etc. I feel if you can't do all the things you want for yourself first, you don't need anyone else doing it for you. It's basically a statement dedicated to the women who want a man to be everything for them.

        • A Grown Ass Man

          05/05/2011 at 1:12 PM

          Oh ok, that's a great point..

          +1

    • imakesense

      05/05/2011 at 12:17 PM

      E-High Five

    • MistaHarsh

      05/05/2011 at 1:59 PM

      I agree with what you're sayin, but I wonder if your stance prohibits you from developing a serious relationship? To be in a significant relationship you HAVE to concede somewhere. Based on your statement(I don't know you personally) you equate conceding with the opposite of success, like being in a relationship and abiding by a man is a failure.

    • @TAARenaissance

      05/05/2011 at 4:54 PM

      This is why this woman is going to stress the fuck out for most of her childbearing years…

      good luck with that line of thinking

  8. Malik

    05/05/2011 at 10:33 AM

    Neither side knows what the new gender roles are now. So it's a 'people' issue moreso than 'male' or 'female' issue. Successful women may put on a veneer that they're more enlightened to the times and that there shouldn't be an issue with the woman making more money, however eventually when an argument is going to come about women are going to attack 1 of 2 things (if not both) guaranteed: How well he is at sex and how he much he provides in relationship/family.

    You can't have it both ways. On one hand you're completely fine with making more money than him because you're a 'strong liberated women' but on the other hand you are always attempting to emasculate him because he doesn't make as much money as you. That's not how it works. If you'd rather be in a relationship with a man who makes more money than you, that's completely okay and understandable.

    • GinaforDummies

      05/05/2011 at 10:49 AM

      Why does sex always come into the logic of deciding whether you want to be with someone or not? I think that's probably the way men think, but not all women. In this scenario I think the decision would rely solely on if he can handle dating a successful woman. I think as a successful woman she would think more logical than that…..and if a guy can't handle being with a successful woman, that's completely okay understandable. Just admit it.
      ( :

      • Malik

        05/05/2011 at 10:54 AM

        It's not about deciding whether you would be with them. It's how women define a man's masculinity.

        Completely agree with the last part though. My mind was blanking on what else to write, but I would edit that it.

        • GinaforDummies

          05/05/2011 at 11:09 AM

          I kind of want to scream. So a man's masculinity is defined by how much money he's bringing home?

          • threerings1911

            05/05/2011 at 11:18 AM

            In his ability to provide, yes in a way it fits in the definition.

          • ChloeRayne516

            05/05/2011 at 11:54 AM

            Yeah Girl…

            You didn't know that??

            And his ability to provide for his family

          • imakesense

            05/05/2011 at 12:17 PM

            I disagree, these qualities do not constitute masculinity.

          • Danni

            05/05/2011 at 12:34 PM

            Oh, it doesn't to a lot of women nowadays. But to men? Girl, they absolutely still define their manhood by their ability to financially provide. Antiquated as all get out, but true.

          • MistaHarsh

            05/05/2011 at 1:03 PM

            if so than what qualities do?

            Out of curiousity as a man can I accurately state what qualities constitute femininity?

          • Double K

            05/05/2011 at 12:42 PM

            Well, yes. What else can men do if not work? It's been make clear on many occasions that we can't bear children; therefore, masculinity is defined in strictly utilitarian efforts (working, sports, doing and making things).

          • ATLienSince82

            05/05/2011 at 12:51 PM

            Naw, the way a woman judges a man's masculinity is defined by how much money he's bringing home..

          • GinaforDummies

            05/05/2011 at 1:49 PM

            What happens if you're born into a poor family? He's less than a man that's why I asked. Being able to provide can mean so many different thing…Providing love, support, TIME. Money doesn't mean you're a man. It can't make you less or more of a man.

          • Vicky

            05/05/2011 at 3:01 PM

            +1

            I think it comes down to the western world….money is everything here

          • @TAARenaissance

            05/05/2011 at 4:56 PM

            Yes homie, it does… I forget, you are young, so I have to be sympathetic to that…

        • threerings1911

          05/05/2011 at 11:33 AM

          And a woman cannot define a mans masculinity, imo

          • Danni

            05/05/2011 at 11:58 AM

            So true. +1. I think chicks need to get this through their heads, too. It doesn't matter one way or another if you don't measure a man's success by how much money he makes. His opinion counts, too. And if that's how he measures his success, there will be issues.

    • Danni

      05/05/2011 at 10:57 AM

      "Neither side knows what the new gender roles are now. So it's a 'people' issue moreso than 'male' or 'female' issue".

      So true. Couldn't agree with you more on that.

  9. threerings1911

    05/05/2011 at 10:35 AM

    I will wait for more fellas to comment before continuing to comment further. I will add that GD, your view(s) are shared by a lot of women and tend to keep women lonely for a very long time. Men do not need to adjust simply because women have achieved a bit more and a lot of guys actions are consistent with that.

    • @TAARenaissance

      05/05/2011 at 4:57 PM

      GD is off the meat rack…

      But she is that type of women that is going to contribute to my financial success…

  10. Crystal Promo-Fernandez

    05/05/2011 at 11:01 AM

    And I'm not trying to sound like a bitch I am asking honestly…

  11. Habib Salim Thomas

    05/05/2011 at 11:05 AM

    No you shouldnt. No for me…I dont have a problem with a successful woman and I dont understand….well I do understand why other men would but I never cared about being the "bread winner"….because we both win lol

    • Kema

      05/05/2011 at 12:21 PM

      Exactly! Why should you have to accompllish less so he can feel better about himself.

      Yes having a proble with a successful woman is a sign of bitchassness. I say this coming from a household where my mother made more money than my father (still does). That did not stop him from being the man of the house.

      To rephrase a line from player's club… If making more money than your spouse is all you got then you dont have much.

      A real man is a MAN regardless. He doesnt need a woman to allow him to be one.

      • Jason Howe

        05/05/2011 at 10:43 PM

        A real man is a MAN regardless!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

        I feel you, I grew up in a household where the women didn’t make ANY money, but the man did not hold that over her head, he showed her respect… he bought home the money and she paid the bills, etc. He never ever came to her like “this is my house”… well only when he was drunk a few times (lol).

    • Jason Howe

      05/05/2011 at 10:39 PM

      That is the way I see it also; it’s all going to the same damn pot so who cares who is putting the most in it. I would be crazy to turn a women away because she makes more then me, silly…

  12. EricaVAIN

    05/05/2011 at 11:17 AM

    Interesting…… Some women this may be the case for and then the other 50% know how they want to be treated and maybe men think that the standards are too high and unattainable or they believe that that particular woman isn't worth all of that. I honestly believe that alot of it is the age in which women rise to success. When you are a younger woman and you find success quickly it is even harder for you to find a man your age that understands and is mature enough to even try and sustain a relationship with you. I can speak as a prime example of that when I was 21 years old, in a relationship and growing more successful and intelligent by the minute. My dude was intimidated, unsympathetic to my schedule and selfish. All I want from him was time and attention here and there. It didn't matter to me that he hadn't decided on a career, started school, had barely any money (compared to myself) or even moved from his momma's house yet. But hey those are just my thoughts…. http://EricaVain.com

    • ATLienSince82

      05/05/2011 at 12:55 PM

      But see that's just a cop out all successful women use…"it's all his fault and he just couldn't relate to my magnificence" but when yawl say that you are ignoring how YOU acted..

      You may have been becoming more successful and intelligent by the minute but were you becoming a better mate, a better girlfriend, a better significant other??

      Just because you improved your personal skills, it don't mean you improved your relationship skills

      • Jason Howe

        05/05/2011 at 11:24 PM

        Very solid Question bro. At that age both parties are still defining who they are, maybe it was just personalities changed and the money/success was not the primary reason.

      • EricaVAIN

        05/05/2011 at 11:46 PM

        I agree 100% that that tends to be the cop out but I know for a fact that I understood this from the very beginning and I tried my best not to be that girl. I had know him since we were children and the only reason that I can resolve to my conclusion above is because he specifically admitted those things mentioned to me recently. I definitely dont disagree that that is the case sometimes though. Thanks for the reply!

  13. ChloeRayne516

    05/05/2011 at 11:58 AM

    Yup, this reminds me of that movie Baby Boom with Diane Keaton I remember what her boss told her before she quit after he gave her account to a lower Advertisting Executive because she was trying to juggle raising a baby and staying on top of her game at work.

    He told her "You can't have it all"

  14. BlueDesert

    05/05/2011 at 11:58 AM

    First t.his is a great topic!

    I believe it is a people issue as well. It is like Ginger and Fred and dancing. A relationship takes two. The leader is looking forward and directing and the follower is doing everything backwards with heels on.

    That being said there are roles and responsibilities for each participant. The leader protects and respects and the follower (not in a negative way) supports, guides and suggets how the dance can be smoother based on their perspective. This way it works as a finely tuned unit. (it has to be about the unit not only one party or the other) If you are not ready for that it is not time for a relationship.

    Also for either gender if you want to lead then lead .. but you cannot pick and choose just the parts that work best for you. If you are the bread winner don't get mad when you are picking up the tab … if you make 225k and they make 50k guess what the bukl of the financial burden is on you, thats reality. If you make 50k you may have togo along with the program. And for either party if that is not working for you then you need to change your program.

    • Double K

      05/05/2011 at 1:03 PM

      Thank you!

      Applying illogical gender specific roles and values does not apply to modern relationships. I don't want to go into a rant here, but people have a distorted definition of chivalry (chevalerie). The idea as it was intended was not to take care of a woman because she is a woman, but to take care of others less capable than you regardless of gender. How that translated into men picking up the tab every time is beyond me.

      If you can take care of yourself, then do so. I don't want to hear that "because of tradition" jibber-jabber. If more people took a rational theory of traditionalism, this gender role system that we have would be proven sociologically outdated.

    • A Grown Ass Man

      05/05/2011 at 1:14 PM

      Good points, but I think the fundamental problem with your logic is that it doesn't take human desire into account. I agree the bread winner should typically be the leader, but the problem is that women want the men to be leaders, and in the black community women are beginning to outpace men in terms of career and education success..

      • Double K

        05/05/2011 at 1:34 PM

        To this I say, it's important how leadership is defined within the confines of a relationship. Take look, if you will, at other aspects of life where leadership is required. Look at a coach. He isn't as strong, or fast, or sometimes even as smart as all the members of his team, but has the qualities that allow him to maintain control.

        With a couple, fiscal strength should not have any realistic bearing on who maintains a leadership role. It's not a matter of being better. It's about being part of a team.

    • MistaHarsh

      05/05/2011 at 2:10 PM

      your last paragraph made men who make 50k and women who make 225k both salty.

      I totally agree

  15. imakesense

    05/05/2011 at 12:15 PM

    Exactly, why do guys always say that? I only see that in movies. Are their really females that rub it in your face like that in reality? Who is really like that? Come on.

    Its not hard to separate your professional life from your personal.

  16. ATLienSince82

    05/05/2011 at 12:56 PM

    It ain't even that serious…my thing is "do you girl…but just don't be a bitch about it"

    Is that a real hard request?

  17. BADDEST

    05/05/2011 at 1:04 PM

    'UNDATEABLE!' ( in Seinfeld voice….im geek for even remembering the episode!!)

    side bar: In a world where women dont actually NEED men for anything ( including even having babies !!) how do we expect for the natural and typical male/female relationships to occur?

    Men say they want a strong succesful woman, one who commands respect in the board room….and for the most part I believe them……..BUT they also want a woman who is capable of raising a family and holding down a home…which is fine……..aint nothing wrong with wanting it ALL……but lets be honest with ourselves….
    Women get the double shaft here(no pun intended LOL)…..basically it comes down to….we keep up with the boys club, prove ourselves to the world but are stil expected to be everything a woman was traditionally expected to be(good mother,good cook, good housekeeper etc)…..and im not saying it isnt possible…..all Im saying is that its sure one tall order to fill in one human being and my theory is that balancing all these archetypes is what is becoming increasingly difficult for women….hence making us unapproachable to men

    • MistaHarsh

      05/05/2011 at 2:11 PM

      "In a world where women dont actually NEED men for anything ( including even having babies !!) "

      ^EXPLAIN PLEASE!^

      • BADDEST

        05/05/2011 at 2:33 PM

        Im saying militant feminism has made young girls believe that men are disposable, that they have the power to make it in this world better than any man all on their own…..I HATE THAT way of thinking….men and women need each other, the traditional roles were there for a reason….not misogyny, not some conspiracy to keep women down but because those roles are what human beings naturally gravitate towards…..I find that as modern women we tend to undervalue the masculine all the while trying to emulate it….its messed up!!!!!!

        • @TAARenaissance

          05/05/2011 at 5:05 PM

          Thank you homie… miltant feminism is a bitch, that shit IW be on

        • MistaHarsh

          05/05/2011 at 10:15 PM

          sorry I should have been more clear "including even having babies" was the part I was thrown by. You don't need men to reproduce? What ya'll taking a rocket ship to Mars now?

          • BADDEST

            05/06/2011 at 9:31 AM

            I meant craziness like women freezing their eggs and stuff…..i wasnt advocating for it…i was just putting the statment out there :)

  18. A Grown Ass Man

    05/05/2011 at 1:11 PM

    Sorry Danni I wasn't trying to imply that all successful women are overly cocky and condescending..

    But, the thing I like about this article is that it addresses an issue many BBW's don't want to accept as even a possibility of why their relationships fail: The fact that her own attitude towards his level of success (or lack thereof) could be the defining downfall of their union..

    • Danni

      05/05/2011 at 1:50 PM

      "Her own attitude towards his level of success (or lack thereof) could be the defining downfall of their union."

      And in some cases, that's absolutely the case. You're right.

  19. Double K

    05/05/2011 at 1:24 PM

    In response to "It seems that women really have to choose between career or family."

    Sad but true, but this FACT is pretty much the basis of most systematic sexism in the workplace…in terms of duties and jobs. I can't speak for now, but back in the day I would assume that most people that did not hire women did so because they knew this was a unpredictable possibility.

    Yes, there are a few that wouldn't have hired a woman because they believed women are weak (which in my opinion makes them run-of-the-mill misogynists). What I am referring to though is corporate greed. None more true than in industries that seemed to be more traditionally male dominated. "Why hire somebody that could possibly out of commission for an undetermined period of time." Those employers could expect a man to work all the time, nonstop; and if you should fall behind, fire him and get a new one. Even if he got sick or was going through personal issues. He'd be expected to leave so that another man can take over his duties. Nobody in their right mind would fire a woman because she became pregnant.

    You see, with woman being introduced into the workforce, there wasn't just to push for basic woman's rights, but overfall human rights as well. If a woman can take time off work then men can now do it as well.

    • ChloeRayne516

      05/05/2011 at 3:23 PM

      Cosign 1000%

    • Kema

      05/05/2011 at 3:52 PM

      I agree! I think all men should take paternity leave if they have the option.

      • ChloeRayne516

        05/05/2011 at 3:53 PM

        At most companies men do have this option now.

        • MistaHarsh

          05/05/2011 at 10:18 PM

          parental leave. I did this and my employer tops me up as well. Good times

  20. @drosechronicles

    05/05/2011 at 1:30 PM

    I don;t really agree with anything you said in this post! I think that a woman's success in her career has nothing to do with what type of person she will be in a relationship. If she has issues being with a man when she is successful, nine times out of ten that is a character flaw that she would still have if she was not successful career wise. I also think that men are just as much responsible for the relationship not being able to work because they themselves are not comfortable with the changing dynamics of working women. I also think one of the main issues is the way we define success as a culture. Instead of focusing on what one has actually attained, we measure success by a dollar amount. If an women make more than her man in an entry level position and he is a manager, supervisor, ceo, etc. but makes less does that really make the woman successful, naw she just got a good ass job. I do think women have many issues that prevent them from being in a successful healthy relationship with a men these days but I would not put too much weight on career success.

    • Double K

      05/05/2011 at 1:37 PM

      Nothing to say here but co-sign!

    • MistaHarsh

      05/05/2011 at 2:20 PM

      exactly.

      We see Baby from Cash Money as successful but we see Roc(Charles S Dutton) as a failure.

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      05/06/2011 at 1:48 AM

      "I think that a woman's success in her career has nothing to do with what type of person she will be in a relationship. If she has issues being with a man when she is successful, nine times out of ten that is a character flaw that she would still have if she was not successful career wise."

      I'm Wondering If You Are Debating My Post Based On What I See The Situation As, Or What You Think The Situation SHOULD Be…

  21. MistaHarsh

    05/05/2011 at 1:45 PM

    2520's?? what's a 2520?

    • ChloeRayne516

      05/05/2011 at 1:59 PM

      Caucausian People

      • MistaHarsh

        05/05/2011 at 3:55 PM

        I thought so didn't want to assume(why is that the code?)

        Lets stop beating the bush. Its black people. We are the problem

        2520s grew up with power. They're adjusted nicely to the affects of it. They know money isn't power, wealth is.

        We act like we're in the rat race(funny movie) when we should see the WEALTH in family not individuality.

        so what if you make 200k by yourself. When you die who is it going to? Who follows in your footsteps. WHo's live have you made better?

        some non-black teens are looseballs but their parents are rich and when there parents die guess who inherits the family business, house, cars etc.

      • @craziijnell

        05/05/2011 at 4:23 PM

        Thanks for answering. I was going to use my trusty urban dictionary. I'll find out why they are called 2520 right now.

        • @craziijnell

          05/05/2011 at 4:24 PM

          Oh! (I just learned)

          • MistaHarsh

            05/05/2011 at 10:05 PM

            Got it too…

            YT

            wah wah waaaaaah!

            who spent time to create that ish? smh lol

  22. threerings1911

    05/05/2011 at 1:49 PM

    Now if I had to choose, I would choose the woman who handled business at home. (in response to women having to do both bring home loot and perform duties in the home)

    • ChloeRayne516

      05/05/2011 at 3:37 PM

      So what your saying you would be content with your wife staying at home while you went out to work everyday? if so, that's great!!!

      I commend you for that because I have heard and read conversations/comments where men simply stated "everybody in this house goes to work in the morning/ I'm not taking care of no grown azz woman" but yet they still expect a 5 course meal, house cleaned, laundry done, dogs walked and kids (if any) fed/bathe and bedded all before 9 or 10pm because at that time it's HIS TIME and does her day end there…??? NOPE!!!! He expects her to put him TO BED with her TyrosaFiyah skillz.

      Sheesh just typing all of this made me tired. *smdh*

  23. Malik

    05/05/2011 at 2:15 PM

    When I start to see a rise in 'house husbands' then I will take the fact that men and their job isn't important. I'm sorry, but as of now it just sounds like noise to me because I guarantee 'what he does for a living' is almost always one of the top 5 things that come to mind when you meet a guy outside of his work.

    I need to see y'all with some barbers (not the owners), janitors, propane (and propane accessories) salesmen, etc. There are these good and caring men everywhere that I highly doubt these Spelman, Howard, etc. would give any serious consideration.

    • A Grown Ass Man

      05/05/2011 at 2:59 PM

      Would love to hear women's response to this..

    • Angeli Michelle

      05/05/2011 at 3:18 PM

      A successful women does not imply she does not want to be looked after. A successful women does not mean that she does not want to take the traditional wife role. But if she's successful and earning a certain income, it makes no sense to take that traditional role if it means taking a dip in their income to fulfil that role.

      It isn't just about job title or career but rather the feasibility of the situation. A janitor's income and say a pharmacist. Hmmm.. Not going to work.

      So "what he does for a living" is a very important question. I'd move it to the top 3. Because if you can't match what I do, where I can be your traditional wife, no sense in moving forward.

      “I don’t think yawl females know how to deal with being a career woman just yet…some of yawl making 100K a year and mad cause you gotta be the financial head of the household and the other half of you making that kinda money don’t know how to treat a man with any respect..”

      Heck yeah I'd be mad if I have to be the financial head of the household. Why should I be? So lets address the issue, why are there a lack of men that match that 100K so she doesn't HAVE to be the head of the household?

      • @TAARenaissance

        05/05/2011 at 5:26 PM

        Very deep…

        As far as the Bcommunity is concerned… I will go as far back as women picking sorry men & then they have to be raised in a single parent household & then the children suffer…

        The girls are raised to be strong & independent

        & the boys are raised to be Simps or Ray Rays & Pookies

        I can keep going here… But there is very little INCENTIVE for a man to go out here & be successful… There is no system in place…

        And black mothers have failed their sons as a whole…

        But there is alot of incentive for men to be underachievers, thugs & simps…

    • Danni

      05/05/2011 at 3:39 PM

      "I need to see y'all with some barbers (not the owners), janitors, propane (and propane accessories) salesmen, etc. There are these good and caring men everywhere that I highly doubt these Spelman, Howard, etc. would give any serious consideration."

      OK, you might be stretching it just a little bit with this one. First off, these groups of people aren't necessarily hanging in the same types of places on the weekends if you feel what I'm saying. Second, I don't know about other chicks, but the janitors at my job spend more time ogling as I walk pass than asking for my number. Not hot. Third, as long as he is cute I would give a barber my number without a doubt. Don't ignore the fact that you can't be broke AND unattractive and complaining about being a good but single man. And last, what is a propane salesman?!?!? I'm not convinced that's even a job.

    • Kema

      05/05/2011 at 3:59 PM

      I would definitely date the barber… Shoot I've dated the convenient store worker. ! I dont assign job titles to what I consider good men. The only thing I ask is that he be able to take care of himself.

      Also I have at least two women at my current job with 'house husbands' and they seem pretty happy. Of course they are not black. I dont think a lot of black men would want to be house husbands (at least not the working kind).

    • MistaHarsh

      05/05/2011 at 10:23 PM

      Don't sleep on barbers the way them fackers be charging $20 for a line up they're raking in money hand over fist

    • @craziijnell

      05/06/2011 at 1:20 PM

      Of course I had to go to US Census Data (sorry Canadians et al): in 2008, 140,000 men were stay at home fathers. vs 5.3 million women. Call me a geek but I think it's fascinating that folks can still be stay-at-home parents in this day and age.

  24. Angeli Michelle

    05/05/2011 at 3:19 PM

    I dont think yawl females know how to deal with being a career woman just yet&some of yawl making 100K a year and mad cause you gotta be the financial head of the household and the other half of you making that kinda money dont know how tA successful women does not imply she does not want to be looked after. A successful women does not mean that she does not want to take the traditional wife role. But if she's successful and earning a certain income, it makes no sense to take that traditional role if it means taking a dip in their income to fulfil that role.

    It isn't just about job title or career but rather the feasibility of the situation. A janitor's income and say a pharmacist. Hmmm.. Not going to work.

    So "what he does for a living" is a very important question. I'd move it to the top 3. Because if you can't match what I do, where I can be your traditional wife, no sense in moving forward.

    “I don’t think yawl females know how to deal with being a career woman just yet…some of yawl making 100K a year and mad cause you gotta be the financial head of the household and the other half of you making that kinda money don’t know how to treat a man with any respect..”

    Heck yeah I'd be mad if I have to be the financial head of the household. Why should I be? So lets address the issue, why are there a lack of men that match that 100K so she doesn't HAVE to be the head of the household? o treat a man with any respect..

    • Malik

      05/05/2011 at 3:52 PM

      Uh, nearly 3 times as many men make 100k+ than women.

      • Angeli Michelle

        05/05/2011 at 4:14 PM

        Black men?

        • Angeli Michelle

          05/05/2011 at 4:17 PM

          The disparity between black people especially is diminishing. And we're talking that over a certain threshold there are less black men at that same point.

          Remove the obvious high earning black men.

          The point remains, there are more black women in higher learning institutions that are gaining ground on their counterparts. If this were not true, this whole blog entry would not be an issue.

  25. Angeli Michelle

    05/05/2011 at 3:19 PM

    *error in posting*

    A successful women does not imply she does not want to be looked after. A successful women does not mean that she does not want to take the traditional wife role. But if she's successful and earning a certain income, it makes no sense to take that traditional role if it means taking a dip in their income to fulfil that role.

    It isn't just about job title or career but rather the feasibility of the situation. A janitor's income and say a pharmacist. Hmmm.. Not going to work.

    So "what he does for a living" is a very important question. I'd move it to the top 3. Because if you can't match what I do, where I can be your traditional wife, no sense in moving forward.

    “I don’t think yawl females know how to deal with being a career woman just yet…some of yawl making 100K a year and mad cause you gotta be the financial head of the household and the other half of you making that kinda money don’t know how to treat a man with any respect..”

    Heck yeah I'd be mad if I have to be the financial head of the household. Why should I be? So lets address the issue, why are there a lack of men that match that 100K so she doesn't HAVE to be the head of the household?

  26. threerings1911

    05/05/2011 at 3:53 PM

    Maybe a combination of who is hiring, the prison rate and brothers not going to college?

  27. @craziijnell

    05/05/2011 at 4:16 PM

    I haven't read everyone's responses. I will certainly get to them in a minute. It would seem that while we have made some leaps and bounds in the professional work force, our personal lives are the same. It is still expected that we work the "Second Shift". All the while men are still expected to compete professionally (though I will agree their role in the home has increased a bit) but other than the same ol… nothing has really changed.

    I don't believe that the feminist movement has had impact on women of color the same way it affected our white counterparts but I will say that being successful shifts dynamics in relationships. As noted above, women are still mainly responsible for the home. I think as we become equals/successors financially, we resent that a bit. Women does not equal domestic. The economy has shifted but traditional gender roles have not.

    I hope I'm wrong.

    • BADDEST

      05/05/2011 at 4:25 PM

      Agreed!!!!! ….and sadly youre right

  28. @TAARenaissance

    05/05/2011 at 4:52 PM

    Again, stereotype is a stereotype because their is ALOT of truth to it…

    You can't be mad for men making that assumption especially when most of the women he has dealt with fall right into the stereotype

    • Danni

      05/05/2011 at 5:05 PM

      So then we can't be mad at white people for assuming that all black people are lazy, dumb, and on welfare? Black men can't be mad at black women for saying "all men are dogs"?

      Just because there is a lot of truth to a statement doesn't make it right by any means.

      • @TAARenaissance

        05/05/2011 at 5:35 PM

        It doesn't… It isn't fair, it isn't right…

        But at the end of the day… you have to RISE ABOVE YOUR STEREOTYPE

        Sometimes you have to be the woman who proves to the man that you are attracted to, that you are different from all the rest…

        In the same way I have to go in front of a white person and show them that not all black men are of low quality…

        #ThatIsAll

        • Danni

          05/05/2011 at 7:05 PM

          I'll give you that. Touche.

  29. Law and Order

    05/05/2011 at 5:19 PM

    Black women have always worked out side the home… The feminist movement that "allowed" women to work is an issue that belongs to the white middle class. From day one we were breaking our backs to advance for our families or just to keep them alive, working in white peoples houses, share cropping, or just flat out slavery… let's not act brand new as if a working black women is some sort of novel phenomenon.

    The issue now is that we have grinded so hard that we have stepped into a new realm of success, the issue is now our money… and the way it makes men feel. SMH

    But we have for decades, even centuries, carried our babies on our backs and worked at the same time, both literally and figuratively, all the while tending to the needs of our men.

    I am finishing my degree, going on to grad school and working. I am a mother, I have a fiance, I cook and keep a clean house. I plan to have a very financially successful career. Maybe when I start to make a lot more money, my man will decide he can't handle it! Maybe I will become undateable… but that is why I worked so hard in the first place, cause you can't depend on nobody but your damn self.

    I refuse to choose between career and family. LIke any other good parent, my career IS for my family! Women don't make people tell you that you can't be a successful mother, WE have been doing this forever.

    Hopefully a good man will see the value in my high earning capacity for the bigger picture, and see that I still need him to be my husband and father to our children, and play that role with some backbone and authority even if I don't need to ask him for 5 dollars to go to the store.
    MAN UP.

  30. Jason Howe

    05/05/2011 at 11:06 PM

    I have to ask myself, is it no good brothers who did not do shit with themselves who are claiming that these successful black women do not want them? I have never heard that as a problem from a black male doing positive things in life regardless of salary. Also, I highly doubt it is a BLACK thing, I have come into contact with women other then black who experience the same thing.

  31. EricaVAIN

    05/05/2011 at 11:47 PM

    what details you speaking of? tweet me @EricaVain .. ;)

  32. Drgray91

    05/06/2011 at 4:17 AM

    WOW

    *pushes glasses back onto face* A lot of good points were made, some questionable ones were farted out but it's good to see where peoples head are.

    My few points… if I may.

    If by difficulty stating you mean, lost in translation AND poorly articulated. YES.

    Two reasons 1.) The woman (or man for that matter) you may be at work is not necessarily an accurate representation of who you are or what you may be about. You are at work to get your job done, well so that the next thirsty applicant isn't taking your parking ticket and desk next monday!
    2.) In a relationship, you are supposed to be able to lower that Berlin Wall, and let people in… show them all of you, your vulnerable side (men and women), do this as work if you dare and see if you don't end up laughed at and made a unemployed fool!

    Now for women, this is an adjustment. For men, the aforementioned work persona fits in with societal norms of male behavior but no no not for women… so when you bring that 9-5 business women out the office, you're now the bitch with a chip on her shoulder…. no, she just forgot to change out her power suit. My thoughts? YOU MAD THOUGH? FOR WHAT? We are only doing what you all have for decades. #dismissed.

    • @TAARenaissance

      05/06/2011 at 8:59 PM

      No problem, just stay the FUCK away from me… Thanks

      • Drgray91

        05/06/2011 at 9:19 PM

        –RECORD SCRATCHES—

        I was sharing perspective, continuing a dialog. Nothing personal, but if that's how you feel about it mister… push on.

        *giggles innocently*

        • @MOTRenaissance

          05/08/2011 at 4:04 AM

          This dialog ended… I don't get women's fascination with competing with men… just beyond me…

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