Women Who Can’t CUM During Sex – There May Be Hope For You [And Your Relationship]

There is a scourge that is slowly ruining relationships one small step at a time: The woman who can’t have g-spot orgasm during sex. Though it clearly is no fault of her own, studies suggest MANY women can’t bust a nut from straight sex with no clitoral stimulation, so the fact remains that many women out there are STRUGGLING through sex-orgasmless relationships. Why you ask? Because her man REFUSES to accept the fact that HE can’t make her cum from sex, and sex alone – but now he might actually have an answer to his problem.

I once wrote on this site that it would be VERY HARD for a man to enter into a serious relationship with a woman who can’t have orgasms through sex and I FIRMLY believe that to this day. Women may think it’s mean and harsh to say that, but what women need to realize is that the problem does NOT lie with you – it’s US. When a man starts to date a woman and finally gets the chance to get it in, and the sex is great, and he cums hard and he looks over at you and he KNOWS you didn’t bust, he will be overcome with a lot of feelings of inadequacy because men closely relate how well their woman’s nani is beat up to how good of a job he is doing in the relationship [as sad as you may think that is, that’s just the truth].

So the problem many men have with women who CAN’T have orgasms from straight penetration, is that instead of accepting that as a fact and exploring other ways she may cum [clitoral, anal, etc.], this dude decides that he’s gonna make it HIS MISSION to make her bust. Cum hard or die trying. And the fact is all that extra pumping, long-stroking, back-cracking and hard pounding is doing NOTHING but possibly giving dude a hernia, while she gets NO closer to that squirtastic orgasm, because this DUMB-ASS didn’t realize it wasn’t about how HARD or DEEP or LONG he was beating it up for, it’s just that she WON’T cum SOLELY from penetration. Period. When the dude finally gives up on Mission: Impossible, there’s a chance he won’t have that zest for the relationship anymore because sharing an orgasm is something EVERY man wants to do with his girl.

But that dude is no longer sh*t out of luck, because there is a technique he can use to TRY and make her cum, that many other penetration-orgasmless women have reported to have great success with:

The Coital Alignment Technique [aka CAT position]

Here’s how the Coital Alignment Technique works. He lies on top, his head resting on the mattress next to hers. She wraps her legs around him, her feet resting on his calves. Now, he rides up on her pelvis slightly, just enough so that the base of his erect penis pushes up against her clitoris. In effect, his penis “bows over her public bone,” Eichel says. The subtle, coordinated rocking movement can begin. Here’s the most important part: As she pushes up on the top of his shaft, he resists with less force than she pushes. Now, on the way back down, as he pushes down against her clitoris, she resists with less force than he pushes.

The result is a series of “small collisions,” rather than the standard friction of thrusting. But collisions is a strong word. The movement is subtle, coordinated, gentle, rhythmic, slow-building. This is more than a position; it’s a coordinated movement. We are now talking about vibration, not friction. Less in and out and more rock n’ roll.

The man is actually shallow when the woman is getting the most stimulation on the downward push. The Coital Alignment Technique looks a lot like the missionary position, but looks can deceive. “Riding high” is not the same as riding hard. She’ll enjoy constant clitoral stimulation and vibration on the nerve-rich area (urethral meatus, by the lower edge of her pelvic bone) just below the G-spot. He’ll enjoy the massaging action on his penis shaft, which stimulates the prostatic nerves, the counterpart to the G-spot.

They say the definition of frustration is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results, so I say, to get something you’ve never had, you need to do something you’ve never done and unless you’ve tried and failed with the CAT position, I say give it a try – not now – but RIGHT now.

This Is Your Conscience

While you are cumming hard, here’s how you can help HIM have a better time too:

When Lincoln Anthony Blades is not writing for his controversial and critically acclaimed blog ThisIsYourConscience.com, he can be found contributing articles for Uptown Magazine. Lincoln wrote the hilarious and insightful book "You're Not A Victim, You're A Volunteer: How To Stop Letting Love Kick Your Ass". He is also a public speaker who has sat on panels all over North America and the Caribbean.

133 Comments

  1. lincolnanthonyblades

    05/30/2011 at 2:07 AM

    So Seeing As It's A Holiday In The States, I Will Only Be Posting This Piece Today, But We Are Back To Regularly Scheduled Blogging Tomorrow..

  2. lincolnanthonyblades

    05/30/2011 at 2:08 AM

    Ladies, Can You Get An Orgasm During Sex From Straight Penetration Or Have You NEVER Experienced An Orgasm During Sex Yet? Do You Think This Position Would Work And Are You Willing To Try?

    Gentlemen, Have You Dated [Or Currently Dating] A Woman Who Can't Have Sex From Straight Penetration? Do You Have Any Other Technique That Works For You To Give Her An Orgasm?

  3. cookies

    05/30/2011 at 10:10 AM

    this CAT position is the only way i can orgasm. and i didn't even know there was a whole science behind it i just thought it was regular missionary, ha. i like backshots though and i can feel the pleasure building but it never amounts to anything sadly :(

  4. Crystal Promo-Fernandez

    05/30/2011 at 10:11 AM

    Thank GOD I don't have a problem cumming on good d*ck!

    I will make sure to pass this on to my friends who do though!

    *Goes back to enjoying Memorial Day*

  5. Bruhman 3rd Flo'

    05/30/2011 at 10:15 AM

    Hold up, if there's so many women out there who can't get off from penetration and the cat position can get women off from shallow penetration, then why so many women concerned with how big a guy's c0ck is??

    That don't add up!

  6. imakesense

    05/30/2011 at 11:17 AM

    I can't cum solely from penetration and I don't know a lot of females who can. Then again I do know a lot of females who fake it sooo…

  7. I'm Just Saying

    05/30/2011 at 11:42 AM

    To my fellow men, if she's your significant other, do what needs to be done. Just because it cant be done for her thru straight sex isnt the end of the world…find more ways to please her. Use all options: mouth,fingers,sex toys whatever…

  8. don lockett

    05/30/2011 at 3:38 PM

    do what needs to be done that is your woman, make her happy.

  9. Drgray91

    05/30/2011 at 4:46 PM

    *murmurs quietly*

    I don't believe I have… At least not with a guy, that I'm certain of. I feel like there may have been something close when I was with a lady or two, BUT if an orgasm is anything like what people make it out to be, I'll go ahead and make that a negative as well… *deep sigh*

    *shrugs* idk, but I'd try anything (just about) once. I read somewhere that, age plays a part in the "big O" experience, but then again people tend to use age and experience, interchangeably.

  10. grandgryph

    05/30/2011 at 5:33 PM

    "…I feel like there may have been something close when I was with a lady or two,"

    :-O

    usually, i get along quite well with the ladies with whom i share such a common interest. why did you make me do such cruel things to you, doc?

  11. shynicole

    05/30/2011 at 9:09 PM

    i read a post on this before… im still one of those who hasnt had one. ive faked, lied and held my secret from my boyfriends. recently with my ex i told him and everytime we would have sex he would get frustrated because he couldnt make me cum and he thought he was some type of "sex god" so it hurt his ego. but it had nothing to do with him. i know its me. i recently started trying to touch myself and i came close once.. i think. also one time i squirted getting fingered but no O but that never happened again. i just dont know what will get me past it maybe it is comfort like lincoln said. or maybe i should experiment with a female myself lol.

  12. ChloeRayne516

    05/31/2011 at 9:12 AM

    So mad I missed this convo yesterday, but with me it's different s.ex takes place in my head so if I am truly feeling u on a sexual lust type thang ( cuz I love mind fcuking during the act) I will explode everytime no matter the length/girth just as long as he can work it *shrug*

  13. Drgray91

    05/31/2011 at 1:06 PM

    Quite obviously, unbeknownst to you, Lemurs are known for female social dominance.

    Though misguided, I am flattered that you have seen the error of your ways and decided to promote such an idea.

    *smiles*

    BUT I'll meet you half-way.
    Yes, it is a sorry excuse for women empowerment.
    Yes, the video could have done without the hyenas, river-dancing, and the modified stanky-leg… but for a song with sub-par lyricism, and a light-weight concept it's done well for itself. *shrugs*

  14. grandgryph

    05/31/2011 at 2:06 PM

    what the hell does a one man army need with advocacy?

    and when i follow through you asked for the abridged version. you see how you women stay?!

  15. MistaHarsh

    05/31/2011 at 9:59 PM

    sigh…
    nowhere and I challenge you to prove otherwise, did I state that I would leave a woman because I couldn't make her cum. I said NOTHING remotely close to that.

    However here is your quote from the same thread:

    "you all can down vote me to your hearts content. but no one's explained why partnering with a person who's devoted themselves to sexual incompetence is better than being with that one who knows her way to an orgasm without involving a whole bunch of props and extras. "

    ^anyone with basic comprehension skills can see what you're implying and based on nyasha's comments this is the logic she was questioning.

    Enough time wasted, stop the foolishness and lets move on to bigger and better things.

  16. lincolnanthonyblades

    06/01/2011 at 1:17 AM

    Hilarious!

  17. Bruhman 3rd Flo'

    06/01/2011 at 2:48 PM

    That that first pic brings back some memories

  18. Blaximus

    06/02/2011 at 10:03 PM

    I've yet to meet ( or Meat..) a woman that couldn't cum in some way of another. Brothas, we must investigate her body fully. LOL….

    Be inventive!! You can put pressure on her clit with your hand while hitting it from the back, side or " CAT " position. Remember, Angles, Angles, and more Angles. A little geometry can go a long way.

    Sometimes being a good ( read GREAT ) lover takes a bit of skill plus balance. Get her to bust first, often, then go for yours.

    If she still can't bust she'll be exhausted and sleep like a baby anyway.

  19. Hopeless

    07/06/2011 at 7:18 AM

    And what to do when even clitoral stimulation doesn’t work in any way?

  20. Richiie

    09/25/2011 at 5:51 PM

    ok i gotta we have sex on the daily she love the d**** she screams and it get wet but she came befor…is it me!

  21. michelle

    12/27/2011 at 9:22 PM

    I have never cum at all and I can only orgasm myself – what am i not doing right?

  22. fprincess

    01/22/2012 at 6:02 PM

    Hi,
    I am 28 years old & can only cum by playing with my self, i had never cum by penetration. Recently i was dating this guy which i like him very much & i love, love the way he make love to me… well he decide to end up dating me because i can't cum. it is very frustrating, since then i been very depress !! The cat position do not works for me. Can some one please help ?! would they have any medication for this ??

  23. Joe

    03/01/2012 at 2:08 PM

    I did not know of the cat position until now & thought I had a special technique I can attest that this position does work well with good success but it is not 100% going to work with every woman every time. I belive there is also a comfort factor for some women that is also need ! The woman I am with now has never had an orgasm from penetration, As to why I am here. I knew that many women were hard to get off but have never has this much trouble satisfying my woman. She will get verry close but will not hit the big "O" from penetration alone. I know she is able get off because I get her off oraly. So if anyone has had a similar issue & found a solution please post it. If you haven't tried the CAT try it.
    I guess I am the stubborn dumb shit the author was talking about as I want to get her off with penetration, although I CAN accept it if my bestway to please her is not with my "pleaser" as I know she still enjoys it & I am more than happy to get her off any which way !

  24. Keene_Namir

    03/02/2012 at 3:22 AM

    I know the frustration of not being able to cum from straight up vaginal sex. I've gone through several guys who are like the ones mentions above who take on Mission: Impossible. Some got all pissy because they could not get me to cum, others just got flustered and eventually give up. Luckily, I have had two who actually took the time to find out how to get me off (besides me playing with myself), and though neither of those relationships worked out for other reasons, I do appreciate them still for being the kind of man who takes his time and does the job right.
    I have not heard of the CAT position before this, but I definitely am going to try it out.
    I also recommend experimenting and finding out what works for the both of you. Especially because though it is important to be able to satisfy each other, there does not have to be an orgasm every time. Try new things, enjoy the old things, and most important of all: HAVE FUN! There should be as much laughter and smiles in the bedroom as there is panting and body bending orgasms.

  25. Pat

    04/07/2012 at 7:39 PM

    I cant cum but I orgasm from masturbating it feels so good aaaaahhhhh doing it now hom alone and rubbing down like anything believe me I'm screaming with joy 😀 wish I could just do this to my crush

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  27. Dr. Charles Runels

    12/17/2012 at 4:02 AM

    There really are women who can't reach orgasm and I've had patients with that condition. I gave them an o-shot which uses blood derived growth factors to give healthier vaginal tissue by stimulating uni-potent stem cells. This has been very effective with my patients. You can see how it's done at http://oshot.info

    Hope this helps.

    Charles Runels, MD

  28. annaeckles

    02/23/2013 at 10:59 AM

    So, I have one post that i read and i can personally say, I was not able to bust multiple nuts and have intense orgasms from sex till I met my current boyfriend. See I know how to please a man, to the point they can't handle me and the only way my previous partners would contain then selves was for me a jus lay there pretty much. I couldn't never be on top not less i wanted to get it over with quick. They can't handle this ass. But my boyfriend can. I think i am border line sex addict. You could say, i've read a lot of Kama Sutra books and watched as much porn as a teenage boy. I felt unfulfilled with most men!

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  30. Renee

    12/12/2013 at 2:32 PM

    This had me laughing…. I guess it was truly my memories that had me laughing. The distinction that women do not have (what I like to call) a penis invited orgasm is different than her truly having an inability to do so. I personally believe all women can achieve this beautiful… glorious… e-lec-tri-fy-ing experience. Yes, I tend to enjoy the feeling and holding out just because the pre-orgasm feelings are enjoyable. LOL!

    I didn't always have orgasms through penetration. I used to be one of those people who didn't and felt that I couldn't. I know this is confusing to guys, but I still enjoyed sex. For me I enjoyed the feelings I could identify with. I think I was more of my problem than my man. When I would enjoy a long session and felt like it was going to happen he would cum. This didn't bother me often but at times it did because I actually felt it was happening. In hindsight it potentially was but I too needed yo clear my head, stop worrying about who could hear us, or hear the bed, etc… The day it happened for me I was doing my kegels during sex, which wasn't new for me, but I squee-zed (not wanting to let go), and it hap-pened. I drove him nuts! Just from soaking everything, and I mean everything on the bed. I surprised myself but it felt soo-ooo good. Damn!!! Memories…

    For me sex was about pleasing a man. I didn't initially like it, but it did feel good. And he acted a straight fool every time, so he liked it. When I wanted to enjoy it for myself, I got out of my own way. My man helped me it was he who told me to squeeze hard. Now, it's on. I was 29 and mothered 2 kids before having an orgasm.

  31. Renee

    12/15/2013 at 2:29 PM

    This had me laughing…. I guess it was truly my memories that had me laughing. The distinction that women do not have (what I like to call) a penis invited orgasm is different than her truly having an inability to do so. I personally believe all women can achieve this beautiful… glorious… e-lec-tri-fy-ing experience. Yes, I tend to enjoy the feeling and holding out just because the pre-orgasm feelings are enjoyable. LOL!

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  40. Alex

    01/09/2015 at 4:23 PM

    Which position is easier to make a girl cumming

  41. Alex

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    What is the easier way to make a girl cum during sex cat position doggy style or any other position….., in which position the girls cum easy

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  43. Abby

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  45. Harry

    10/31/2015 at 9:20 AM

    This is a hot topic nowadays. As you have concluded, men have a huge role in making their female partners cum during sex. This CAT position should save many moribund relationships.

  46. Lex

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    Thats the definition of insanity… Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

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