Women Who Can’t CUM During Sex – There May Be Hope For You [And Your Relationship]

There is a scourge that is slowly ruining relationships one small step at a time: The woman who can’t have g-spot orgasm during sex. Though it clearly is no fault of her own, studies suggest MANY women can’t bust a nut from straight sex with no clitoral stimulation, so the fact remains that many women out there are STRUGGLING through sex-orgasmless relationships. Why you ask? Because her man REFUSES to accept the fact that HE can’t make her cum from sex, and sex alone – but now he might actually have an answer to his problem.

I once wrote on this site that it would be VERY HARD for a man to enter into a serious relationship with a woman who can’t have orgasms through sex and I FIRMLY believe that to this day. Women may think it’s mean and harsh to say that, but what women need to realize is that the problem does NOT lie with you – it’s US. When a man starts to date a woman and finally gets the chance to get it in, and the sex is great, and he cums hard and he looks over at you and he KNOWS you didn’t bust, he will be overcome with a lot of feelings of inadequacy because men closely relate how well their woman’s nani is beat up to how good of a job he is doing in the relationship [as sad as you may think that is, that’s just the truth].

So the problem many men have with women who CAN’T have orgasms from straight penetration, is that instead of accepting that as a fact and exploring other ways she may cum [clitoral, anal, etc.], this dude decides that he’s gonna make it HIS MISSION to make her bust. Cum hard or die trying. And the fact is all that extra pumping, long-stroking, back-cracking and hard pounding is doing NOTHING but possibly giving dude a hernia, while she gets NO closer to that squirtastic orgasm, because this DUMB-ASS didn’t realize it wasn’t about how HARD or DEEP or LONG he was beating it up for, it’s just that she WON’T cum SOLELY from penetration. Period. When the dude finally gives up on Mission: Impossible, there’s a chance he won’t have that zest for the relationship anymore because sharing an orgasm is something EVERY man wants to do with his girl.

But that dude is no longer sh*t out of luck, because there is a technique he can use to TRY and make her cum, that many other penetration-orgasmless women have reported to have great success with:

The Coital Alignment Technique [aka CAT position]

Here’s how the Coital Alignment Technique works. He lies on top, his head resting on the mattress next to hers. She wraps her legs around him, her feet resting on his calves. Now, he rides up on her pelvis slightly, just enough so that the base of his erect penis pushes up against her clitoris. In effect, his penis “bows over her public bone,” Eichel says. The subtle, coordinated rocking movement can begin. Here’s the most important part: As she pushes up on the top of his shaft, he resists with less force than she pushes. Now, on the way back down, as he pushes down against her clitoris, she resists with less force than he pushes.

The result is a series of “small collisions,” rather than the standard friction of thrusting. But collisions is a strong word. The movement is subtle, coordinated, gentle, rhythmic, slow-building. This is more than a position; it’s a coordinated movement. We are now talking about vibration, not friction. Less in and out and more rock n’ roll.

The man is actually shallow when the woman is getting the most stimulation on the downward push. The Coital Alignment Technique looks a lot like the missionary position, but looks can deceive. “Riding high” is not the same as riding hard. She’ll enjoy constant clitoral stimulation and vibration on the nerve-rich area (urethral meatus, by the lower edge of her pelvic bone) just below the G-spot. He’ll enjoy the massaging action on his penis shaft, which stimulates the prostatic nerves, the counterpart to the G-spot.

They say the definition of frustration is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results, so I say, to get something you’ve never had, you need to do something you’ve never done and unless you’ve tried and failed with the CAT position, I say give it a try – not now – but RIGHT now.

This Is Your Conscience

While you are cumming hard, here’s how you can help HIM have a better time too:

When Lincoln Anthony Blades is not writing for his controversial and critically acclaimed blog ThisIsYourConscience.com, he can be found contributing articles for Uptown Magazine. Lincoln wrote the hilarious and insightful book "You're Not A Victim, You're A Volunteer: How To Stop Letting Love Kick Your Ass". He is also a public speaker who has sat on panels all over North America and the Caribbean.

120 Comments

  1. lincolnanthonyblades

    05/30/2011 at 2:07 AM

    So Seeing As It's A Holiday In The States, I Will Only Be Posting This Piece Today, But We Are Back To Regularly Scheduled Blogging Tomorrow..

  2. lincolnanthonyblades

    05/30/2011 at 2:08 AM

    Ladies, Can You Get An Orgasm During Sex From Straight Penetration Or Have You NEVER Experienced An Orgasm During Sex Yet? Do You Think This Position Would Work And Are You Willing To Try?

    Gentlemen, Have You Dated [Or Currently Dating] A Woman Who Can't Have Sex From Straight Penetration? Do You Have Any Other Technique That Works For You To Give Her An Orgasm?

    • MzDebbieFields

      05/30/2011 at 10:22 AM

      I find it hard to cum from just straight sex but I will cream very fast and hard if I rub my own clit or even use a toy on myself…the cat position is OK, but I don't see why women can't stimulate their own clit during sex…#KanyeShrug

      • Kizzy

        05/30/2011 at 10:23 AM

        CAT position doesn't work…SMH

        • lincolnanthonyblades

          05/30/2011 at 2:34 PM

          How Do You Figure?

      • lincolnanthonyblades

        05/30/2011 at 2:35 PM

        That. Is. Sexy.

      • katniss

        02/11/2012 at 6:11 AM

        " I don't see why women can't stimulate their own clit during sex"

        Agreed!

        Whenever my bf and I have had sex I've never finished UNTIL last time when I erm… assisted.. myself. I climaxed within 5 minutes.

        Except i dont know if it weirded him out or turned him on…

        I realize every guy is different but is it typically considered hot for a girl to do this or weird?

        GUYS! opinions would be appreciated so I can get an idea as i havent worked up the nerve to ask my bf what he thinks yet.

      • zanele

        08/02/2014 at 8:31 AM

        I dn,t ejaculates during sex I m stressed nd I want to knw wht cause this I m women

    • LoveSexWithFiencee

      12/28/2011 at 7:17 AM

      Have had orgasm with my fiencee almost every time we have sex for the past 6 years penetration only. Had 28 in one session once. I ride him that how I orgasm. But we will try the cat soon.

      • Sexed

        01/24/2012 at 12:33 AM

        I thought it was a myth that women can orgasm through penetration till my current boyfriend started making me climax each time we have sex. We've noticed that I cum while riding/Grinding on his penis. It helps when he grabs my breasts and slaps my ass and talks dirty to me

  3. cookies

    05/30/2011 at 10:10 AM

    this CAT position is the only way i can orgasm. and i didn't even know there was a whole science behind it i just thought it was regular missionary, ha. i like backshots though and i can feel the pleasure building but it never amounts to anything sadly :(

    • The_Mad_HATER

      05/30/2011 at 10:17 AM

      why cant the cat position work from the back??

      • MzDebbieFields

        05/30/2011 at 10:22 AM

        The whole point is to apply pressure to the clitoris and it doesn't get a lot of feeling from the back..

  4. Crystal Promo-Fernandez

    05/30/2011 at 10:11 AM

    Thank GOD I don't have a problem cumming on good d*ck!

    I will make sure to pass this on to my friends who do though!

    *Goes back to enjoying Memorial Day*

    • Bruhman 3rd Flo'

      05/30/2011 at 10:16 AM

      God bless you and your vajayjay Crystal LOL

      • lincolnanthonyblades

        05/30/2011 at 2:35 PM

        Hysterical!

    • sofly

      08/14/2013 at 7:31 PM

      When you come is it a lot?

  5. Bruhman 3rd Flo'

    05/30/2011 at 10:15 AM

    Hold up, if there's so many women out there who can't get off from penetration and the cat position can get women off from shallow penetration, then why so many women concerned with how big a guy's c0ck is??

    That don't add up!

    • grandgryph

      05/30/2011 at 11:22 AM

      the cat produces a clitoral o which is the easiest and weakest of the three orgasms (clitoral < g-spot < vaginal). though it depends on the woman, other kinds are more achievable with a bigger tool. and, for size queens, there is the psychological rush of knowing she's captured and can handle a "real" man.

      we should ask though why is it the man's responsibility to "make a woman o"?". if she's a grown woman, experienced and doesn't know how to "arrive", or move her body in a way that tells you what she needs to get there, the man shouldn't be all that concerned about her pleasure. she's not taken it seriously enough to invest in it or practice. why should he? or let his enjoyment be determined by something she likely doesn't care that much about.

      if she is actually inexperienced (not just acting that way for her own advantage or to build a fake intimacy around him worshipping her nani), and is willing to learn, by all means, help her along. watch the videos. read the manuals. whatever. but nephews, odds are she's passively pillow queening you. so, put your time in, get that good nut – or two – then scurry off to the x box or another female repelling hobby, before she begins making those "post-coital negotiation" moans.

      for many "anorgasmic" women, the orgasm is their "re-virginisation" on the cheap. by not fully enjoying sex they feel "less dirty" or "slutty". also, without it being very pleasurable for them, sex feels like a chore or a service to a man, and so retains its exchange value. nephews, if she enjoys sex more than you do (e.g., multiple, crescendoing, orgasms or peeing herself in ecstasy) she'll have a harder time convincing you that she's "giving it up", "letting you smash" or somehow "doing you a favour" by spreading her legs. and, then there's the psychological rush of a man humping away like a crazed dog while she keeps the treat of her full enjoyment just out of his reach. add the politics of faking – or claiming to – to this to the mix and things make even more sense. those positions (snicker) and the leverage they produce, is more valuable and important than physical pleasure to more women than most men would think. in fact, for some, it is their pleasure, so they actively suppress their orgasms and sublimate pleasure to chocolate, shopping, jesus and gossip or what have you.

      nephews, study the wisdom of men of the past. recognise a frigid and/or controlling woman early. use her nani to masturbate in if you must, then find a woman who actually cares about her pleasure enough for you to not have to school her in it.

      • Bruhman 3rd Flo'

        05/30/2011 at 11:48 AM

        Bro you wrote all that and it aint even need that much thought…plus I was asking the ladies

        • grandgryph

          05/30/2011 at 11:57 AM

          oh but it does need that much thought…which really wasn't much thought at all.

          you can ask the women. that's a strategy doomed to fail. most of them are unwilling to share their age and weight, when it comes to sex they will lie and dodge (snicker).

          if you weren't so thought adverse, bruhman you'd know that there have been many, many studies and conversations on the female orgasm and its politics. what i'm presenting for the nephews is an abridged version of that centuries old convo and my spin on how it relates to today.

          i offer you truth and you'd rather lies. this is why you have to steal from people's fridges. don't be mad that i showed you up so effortless. just learn and grow, bruh.

          • Bruhman 3rd Flo'

            05/30/2011 at 1:00 PM

            Listen..

            apparently this cat position is great to make women who cant have orgasms finally cum..but the con of it is that the penetration isn't deep…so If I meet a girl who doesn't have orgasms through sex but wants a man thats hung, i'm just simply inquiring 'what's the point?'

            I would like a lady to answer!

          • max

            05/30/2011 at 1:27 PM

            Bruhman it feels better to not bust with a big-dicked man than it does to unload one with a small-dicked one. It just…feels way better.

            That's the best explanation I can give you.

          • lincolnanthonyblades

            05/30/2011 at 2:38 PM

            I Guess Even If It's Shallow, It's The Thought That Counts Huh?

          • grandgryph

            05/30/2011 at 1:50 PM

            no. you listen, bruh…listen to their silence…it is telling.

            the cat position was featured on donahue in 1989. it is in almost every f*ck manual written since the kama sutra. it is no damn mystery to any woman who wants to nut – neither is nutting itself. women can come pretty hard off a finger. the orgasm isn't the issue, the control and the attention it can get them is.

            so, whether she can handle a good rutting or not, why every woman keeps a "i survived a monster c0ck" story in the holster. and, the "hung" fixation is part of the machinery that she'll use to brag on next chicks about the depth and shock resistance of her nani. women enjoy what they enjoy. but the quest for bigger is in part a ploy to make some dude feel as inadequate as they often do.

            and the politics are very straigth forward: if a man feels responsible for her satisfaction, then dissatisfaction become part of her power and pride. avoid these queens nephews, and listen to their lies and ambitions only to amuse yourselves.

            there is an old rather illustrative joke about this.

            a bunch of 30+ single women were brought into a man department store. they were promised satisfaction, but told what ever floor they got off at, was where they'd have to stay. excited and giggly, the women boarded the elevator.

            the door opened the first time. and they saw tall, good-looking well dressed men looking back at them. the elevator operator says, "on this floor are men with short, narrow penises".

            the women looked at each other. laughed and told the operator to close the f*cking door.

            the door opened the second time. equally tall, good-looking, well dressed men staring back at them."ladies," the operator says, breaking their trance "on this floor you will find men endowed with long skinny members".

            the women rolled their eyes, and briskly tell the operator to move on to the next floor.

            the door opens again. again there are well dressed adonises watching them. "my dears, your patience and discernment has paid off" the operators says "here, on this floor are men who have very long, girthy richards."

            he was nearly killed by the stampede as women fought their way out of the elevator. but, one woman looked at the elevator buttons and in solidarity with her sisters cried out "wait! there is one last floor left!"

            the women paused, but slowly – and reluctantly – returned to the elevator. the operator, now recovered, smiled, and closed the door.

            when it open on the next floor, he ushered them out with a cattle prod. then disappeared inside the elevator. the saw nothing at first, but after a half hour of wandering came across a sign. it read:

            this floor exists to prove that the only thing women really want is `more'

          • lincolnanthonyblades

            05/30/2011 at 2:38 PM

            Ha! Heard That One Before But I Love Reading It Every Time

          • Vanessa

            12/15/2011 at 12:36 PM

            I cant stand this grand guy hes prob never had sex so he doesnt even have a clue what us woman want,thinkor feel

          • Vaneesa

            12/15/2011 at 12:33 PM

            Vecause maybe a big dick will make her cum

          • plamamamma

            02/08/2012 at 12:10 AM

            If its small that means there's even LESS to feel. need a big one so it's like theres a regular one.

          • Liam

            10/29/2014 at 9:20 PM

            From the description; there is no penetration in this position at all, merely the rubbing of the shaft up and down the clitoral region.

      • Vanessa

        12/15/2011 at 12:30 PM

        dude ur fucking stupid still young u have alot to learn urself lil boy

    • Vicky

      05/30/2011 at 5:04 PM

      Wait! Let's not confuse length with girth!

      Length just hits your cervix – NOT COOL

      Girth – NOW that's where it's at!

      • :).

        09/05/2011 at 7:01 PM

        Ugh no length hits your g spot width stretches your vagina !! I'd go for length over width any day

  6. I'm Just Saying

    05/30/2011 at 10:42 AM

    To my fellow men, if she's your significant other, do what needs to be done. Just because it cant be done for her thru straight sex isnt the end of the world…find more ways to please her. Use all options: mouth,fingers,sex toys whatever…

    • grandgryph

      05/30/2011 at 11:49 AM

      sigh.

      • Vicky

        05/30/2011 at 5:12 PM

        Why are you sighing? There are plenty of ways to pleasure your woman and props to "I'm just saying" who will actually go the extra mile and see that his partner gets off too!

        • grandgryph

          05/30/2011 at 5:30 PM

          i'm not opposed to doing what needs to be done, but plenty men with that attitude and trapped be "keep-away" pillow queens with out really knowing it. we rarely hear that talked about.

          • lincolnanthonyblades

            05/30/2011 at 8:21 PM

            What's That?

          • grandgryph

            05/31/2011 at 12:17 AM

            in trying to please certain women a man unwittingly enslaves and degrades himself. before being willing to "go all out" he should make sure he's not dealing with one of those fourth floor, "more" types.

        • :)

          09/05/2011 at 11:03 PM

          Agreed…a real man is not a selfish lover. Theres way more to sex then just humping. My ex loved going down making me wet then intercourse afterwards was his pleasure. But he always made sure we both were pleasured. And that's what it's about. Also foreplay and toys. There's way better ways to orgasm or better ways to play with your partner. I hate guys that just hump. I'd rather fk a vibrator then just straight humping a dude hahahahhah :)

          • Unsatisfied.

            01/20/2012 at 10:47 AM

            Bless.
            My boyfriend needs to grow up.

          • jessy

            02/11/2012 at 1:24 AM

            Idk if i have a problem but i would really like to get an answer I don't enjoy SEX!!!! I haven't had a orgasm during sex for along time we do it the same way everytime he never gives me time to get horny he just wants it right then and there and it pisses me off and when i try talking to him about how i don't like sex he gets mad and i dont like sex at all but im afraid it affecting our relationship bc we never have sex anymore maybe once every 2 weeks but the only way i can get off is if i rub my clit and he is the only one i have ever been with and sex to me is out of the question i just can't stand it when we first started having sex i climaxed everytime i haven't had a climax by penetration for almost 2 years idk if he is cheating or if there is something wrong with me would someone please help me out bc i need some answers.

      • I'm Just Saying

        06/01/2011 at 10:20 AM

        my dude you can sigh to what i wrote all you want, but just like in bed i did it for the ladies…i really don't care about all your deep seeded reasons on why thats wrong…you don't agree or like it cool whatever, you wont change my opinion on it. But thanks for the reply *thumbs up*

    • grandgryph

      05/30/2011 at 5:10 PM

      you all can down vote me to your hearts content. but no one's explained why partnering with a person who's devoted themselves to sexual incompetence is better than being with that one who knows her way to an orgasm without involving a whole bunch of props and extras.

      a man might do this for a while, but odds are, the time that man comes across a happy, easy cummer, and sees how exhilarating that sex can be, he'll be about as inspired to take on that "make me cum 'cause i don't know how" or "making me cum is like cracking a safe" project as a woman'd be scorched by her desire to saddle up a baby-dicked, pre-ejaculator.

      so can we please end the politically correct schuptidness?

      and really – you despicable and slavish "men" – just because she's making you push your fingers in her batty, stuff her full of beads or bath yourself in goat's blood so she can dribble and whimper a little doesn't mean she's not bussing and nani drooling off rutting penetration with some next guy.

      fact is: you really just don't reach her that way and do know that, despite all your effort and attention, that just won't feel as natural and spontaneous they the guy who just dicks her into cumming. so, you'll prolly end up "sharing" her; hearing some story of "how it just isn't working out" or getting caught up in some "make up to break up" serial monogamist saga as she bounces between excitement (him) and stability (you).

      which man would you rather be? decide.

      • MistaHarsh

        05/30/2011 at 6:45 PM

        "a man might do this for a while, but odds are, the time that man comes across a happy, easy cummer, and sees how exhilarating that sex can be, he'll be about as inspired to take on that "make me cum 'cause i don't know how" or "making me cum is like cracking a safe" project as a woman'd be scorched by her desire to saddle up a baby-dicked, pre-ejaculator."

        You can compare the above to the chase of getting a virgin to get loose vs linking Brenda tha benda from the block. Some people feel the reward is greater when blood sweat and tears are required some prefer instant gratification. Its simply personal preference.

        Ideally you want someone who you are sexually in synch with. Unfortunately these people usually are not the ones to have a long term relationship with.

        • lincolnanthonyblades

          05/30/2011 at 8:20 PM

          Very Friggin True

        • Nyasha

          05/30/2011 at 11:21 PM

          "Ideally you want someone who you are sexually in synch with. Unfortunately these people usually are not the ones to have a long term relationship with. "

          Wait a minute..

          So you mean to seriously tell me, that you would consider breaking up with/not dating a a girl JUST BECAUSE you aren't able to make her cum although the reason is out of her and your control?

          That's absolutely pathetic in my eyes. You men are way too egotistic and prideful.

          • grandgryph

            05/31/2011 at 12:06 AM

            actually no. it is worse. he said he fuck and dump a woman he had instant sexual chemistry with

            ….i'd dump a woman who expected me to make her cum. why? grown folks are responsible for their own orgasms. that's all.

          • MistaHarsh

            05/31/2011 at 2:15 PM

            I NEVER said that atall, atall, atall.

            Who wouldn't want to build with someone you have sexual chemistry with?

            My point was that sex maybe good but other qualities that SHOULD be more important in a LONGTERM relationship are overlooked.

            The requirements for short term and long relationship should not be identical.

            A lot of times the sex is so good we let that attribute overshadow her poor credit score and history of filing for bankruptcy, or the fact that she was once engaged with and has a son by your best friend.

            I'm exaggerating but normally these situations don't last too long. You might not agree but society holds sexual chemisty to high on our list of what is required to make a relationship last.

            How many of you can say you broke up with your ex because sex wasn't good compared to other reasons outside of sex.?

          • grandgryph

            05/31/2011 at 2:53 PM

            this is the first time you are speaking such wisdom, nephew.

            i too agree that a man who bases a long term commitment solely on how well she makes him nut is a nut. but this is a sanitised version of your other post.

            it depends on how one defines good sex. the things that keep sex "good" in my opinion communication, listening taking pleasure in your partners pleasure are part of what make relationship good. that being said, it is possible for relations to be fine with the relationship being very bad.

          • MistaHarsh

            05/31/2011 at 1:47 PM

            why are you quoting me then arguing a point grandgyph made?

        • grandgryph

          05/30/2011 at 11:58 PM

          your post is utter hogwash. only a werewolf of a man is turned on by the chase. do you run and yip after cars too, harsh? fie!

          what you are presenting is good ol' the madonna-"whore" dichotomy. the "madonna" is elevated and the "whore" (not an actual whore/sex-trader, but woman of sexual experience) is degraded. it is men who hold those attitudes who give women even more reason to act weird, manipulative and sabotagy in bed. they think, "if i'm too good, he'll think i'm a slut and will want nothing to do with me" or "he won't want if it is too easy". then they come across idea(l)s like yours and feel justified.

          YOUR attitude is basically long distance cock-blocking. you – and likeminded males (looks at linc) – should be EXCOMMUNICATED from the society of men.

          nephews, do not adopt the views of these me– males. think of your brethren. just think of the man-hours and money WASTED by your brothers and cousins trying to bed a woman who just ends up crippling the experience just so the man thinks he's gotten a "catch". and – if he is not a student of your uncle gryph – the poor smuck might actually think that his pillow queen is a delicate ingénue. all this so certain WOLF"men" can enjoy the chase.

          Fie! upon you, harsh…FIE!!

          and no one was advocating wifing the community bicycle, or necessarily the person you have explosive sexual chemistry with. so, i don't know why you brought that up. i said that even if the man willing to "crack the safe", will eventually tire of that and want a wild free night of robust drippy rutting with a woman who doesn't need all the extra attention to enjoy herself. and that TALENT doesn't make her a "whore" or "not relationship material". so, despite reinforcing STALE, cock-blocking, pum-pum price raising TOMFOOLERY, you didn't even overturn the main point of what you quoted from my post…FIE!!

          oh yeah. and just because you have an instant connection with a woman that doesn't mean that there is no place else to go with it. study tantra…the endless mutual orgasm. THAT should be the holy grail of nookie.

          and, if the woman has other qualities (e.g., can communicate, is accountable and sincere, takes pride in her self-sufficiency) that connection can very well be the foundation of something meaningful – and even long-term.

          FIE!!!

          • MistaHarsh

            05/31/2011 at 1:29 PM

            **bumping Mobb Deep – Shook Ones, lowers volume**
            **reads first sentence and sees the 6 paragraphs that follow**

            One day I'll read this in its entirety. Until then this is my response:

            I said that was people's personal preference, I never specified my own.

            Its not my concern if this preference makes someone less of a "man" which by the way is usually defined by subjective terms. I simply stated what it is, someone's PERSONAL preference.

            Side note:Nephew?

            **Turns Mobb Deep up loud for emphasis as Harsh walks away "…you don't know me there's no relation…"**

          • grandgryph

            05/31/2011 at 1:46 PM

            not bad, harsh. but, i always preffered "survival of the fit" followed by the "start of YOUR ending"…you know, dunny?

            1. for some one (and that some one is probably you) to have that preference certain things inform it: namely madonna-whorism. that is a basic sexual politic. preferences and what one deems personal – in fact – even the existence of a personal, or private, realm is political in nature. so, besides bastardizing a mobb deep song, you've accomplished nothing here.

            2. you should read before you respond. i didn't call you a nephew. though you should be. there's a lot you can learn from uncle gryph. and, as much as i enjoy the lyrical stylings of the mobb, anthropologists they are not. every human on earth is related, the vast majority within the 50th cousin sphere…nephew.

          • MistaHarsh

            05/31/2011 at 10:19 PM

            "uncle gryph" LOL

            it appears you come to this site to debate.
            I come here for insight, entertainment and for an all around good reading.

            I don't mind a good debate here and there but I have no passion for what you want to discuss so my time will be wisely spent elsewhere

          • grandgryph

            05/31/2011 at 10:30 PM

            lol.

            you should've just waved a white flag. that'd be more honest.

            run along then, nephew.

  7. imakesense

    05/30/2011 at 11:17 AM

    I can't cum solely from penetration and I don't know a lot of females who can. Then again I do know a lot of females who fake it sooo…

    • Bruhman 3rd Flo'

      05/30/2011 at 11:51 AM

      What do YOU do to cum??

      • lincolnanthonyblades

        05/30/2011 at 2:46 PM

        Inquiring Minds..

    • grandgryph

      05/30/2011 at 5:18 PM

      use some sense, please. if they admit to lying about sex (e.g. faking an orgasm), how do you know what they decide to tell you is close to true?

      • imakesense

        05/30/2011 at 9:30 PM

        Its more like a sexual confessions thing.

        Confess penetration can't make you cum, confess you fake it.

        What would be the point in confessing penetration can't make you cum if it can? I don't get it…

        • grandgryph

          05/30/2011 at 10:58 PM

          liars don't always need a motive to lie. but they might just do it to be in "agreement". also, it might suggest that they regularly get head and that's a bragging right for some women. or the fact that they've not learned to come of penetration puts pressure on a man to "dive".

          • imakesense

            05/30/2011 at 11:21 PM

            k

          • grandgryph

            05/31/2011 at 12:03 AM

            continue to mock me.

    • :)

      09/05/2011 at 10:54 PM

      Me too.. I need oral to cum usually..I rarely cum during intercourse ..and you can't fake not cumin they can tell if you're not wet on there dick haha..so it makes th e guy think they're small …but its not to do with me or him,.. it's just Intercourse doesn't do it for me …I need foreplay and oral to cum… I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one.

  8. don lockett

    05/30/2011 at 3:38 PM

    do what needs to be done that is your woman, make her happy.

  9. Drgray91

    05/30/2011 at 4:46 PM

    *murmurs quietly*

    I don't believe I have… At least not with a guy, that I'm certain of. I feel like there may have been something close when I was with a lady or two, BUT if an orgasm is anything like what people make it out to be, I'll go ahead and make that a negative as well… *deep sigh*

    *shrugs* idk, but I'd try anything (just about) once. I read somewhere that, age plays a part in the "big O" experience, but then again people tend to use age and experience, interchangeably.

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      05/30/2011 at 8:19 PM

      I Would Say COMFORT Plays An Even Bigger Part

      • Drgray91

        05/30/2011 at 8:58 PM

        Copy.

        I buy that, completely.

        I think my inability to be 100% engaged in the moment (i.e—>my mind does an uncalled for amount of wondering) is what's stopping me…

        Now whether or not it's an acute case off sexual ADD or just a few cases of lackluster sex … I'm not so sure. I do watch a fair share of "instructional videos" (DJM) for skills and techniques, so it certainly isn't a lack of trying and self exploration on my part. *shrugs*

        • shynicole

          05/30/2011 at 9:15 PM

          same here, i think about random ass shit while doing it lol

        • grandgryph

          05/30/2011 at 11:58 PM

          try drugs.

          • @craziijnell

            05/31/2011 at 12:19 PM

            I think drugs would help.

  10. grandgryph

    05/30/2011 at 5:33 PM

    "…I feel like there may have been something close when I was with a lady or two,"

    :-O

    usually, i get along quite well with the ladies with whom i share such a common interest. why did you make me do such cruel things to you, doc?

    • Drgray91

      05/30/2011 at 9:02 PM

      Perhaps it's the other half of me you're at odds with… Did I mention I'm a gemini.

      (:

      • imakesense

        05/30/2011 at 9:39 PM

        yeesss geminis to the wooorlld bullet bullet!!!

        :D

        • grandgryph

          05/31/2011 at 12:00 AM

          you too? hell with that i refuse to like you…i damn well REFUSE!!

        • Drgray91

          05/31/2011 at 12:54 AM

          *does river dance and plays "We run the world… extended remixe'd gemini edition" *
          lol

          • grandgryph

            05/31/2011 at 12:06 PM

            *** shudders ***
            maybe i was being too optimistic…hate that fugging song.

          • Drgray91

            05/31/2011 at 12:28 PM

            *side eye*

            … and why is that? (abridged version, if you will) *winks*

      • grandgryph

        05/30/2011 at 10:54 PM

        Did I mention I'm a gemini.

        …and it all comes together. this revelation will make things easier on both of us.

  11. shynicole

    05/30/2011 at 9:09 PM

    i read a post on this before… im still one of those who hasnt had one. ive faked, lied and held my secret from my boyfriends. recently with my ex i told him and everytime we would have sex he would get frustrated because he couldnt make me cum and he thought he was some type of "sex god" so it hurt his ego. but it had nothing to do with him. i know its me. i recently started trying to touch myself and i came close once.. i think. also one time i squirted getting fingered but no O but that never happened again. i just dont know what will get me past it maybe it is comfort like lincoln said. or maybe i should experiment with a female myself lol.

    • grandgryph

      05/31/2011 at 12:01 AM

      "or maybe i should experiment with a female myself lol."

      *** looks over at doc with one raised eye brow ***

      • lincolnanthonyblades

        05/31/2011 at 2:52 AM

        HA!

    • Drgray91

      05/31/2011 at 1:00 AM

      Definitely give the girl on girl business a try! At least, once!

      Can't hurt, eh?

      lol *smiles brightly*

      • lincolnanthonyblades

        05/31/2011 at 2:52 AM

        Interesting

    • cumgother

      10/31/2014 at 6:32 PM

      cumgother >>> know yourself,,,make yourself,,,,to make a person do or try to do something against their will has a negative affect mentally and Physically sex between 2 should be consensual how can you make a person to do something that which they have no mind of doing. You think that you want your partner to make you cum when your mind is else where or you cant cum and don't want to cum…get real…take the complication out of the bed room,,,mind set we gonna have great sex during love making and we are both gonna cum,,,,,,,,talk to me,,,tell me what you like,,,, good communication is a key

  12. ChloeRayne516

    05/31/2011 at 9:12 AM

    So mad I missed this convo yesterday, but with me it's different s.ex takes place in my head so if I am truly feeling u on a sexual lust type thang ( cuz I love mind fcuking during the act) I will explode everytime no matter the length/girth just as long as he can work it *shrug*

    • KemaVA

      05/31/2011 at 9:56 AM

      Hah! I was thinking the same thing.

  13. Drgray91

    05/31/2011 at 1:06 PM

    Quite obviously, unbeknownst to you, Lemurs are known for female social dominance.

    Though misguided, I am flattered that you have seen the error of your ways and decided to promote such an idea.

    *smiles*

    BUT I'll meet you half-way.
    Yes, it is a sorry excuse for women empowerment.
    Yes, the video could have done without the hyenas, river-dancing, and the modified stanky-leg… but for a song with sub-par lyricism, and a light-weight concept it's done well for itself. *shrugs*

    • grandgryph

      05/31/2011 at 1:34 PM

      female dominance? that explains their mindless copy catting. but i'm not against matriarchy any more than i'm against patriarchy. i think patriarchy is stupid and needs to be gotten rid of.

      half way? hurrah for mediocrity. whatever, you'll change your mind and back several times by next week.

  14. grandgryph

    05/31/2011 at 2:06 PM

    what the hell does a one man army need with advocacy?

    and when i follow through you asked for the abridged version. you see how you women stay?!

  15. MistaHarsh

    05/31/2011 at 9:59 PM

    sigh…
    nowhere and I challenge you to prove otherwise, did I state that I would leave a woman because I couldn't make her cum. I said NOTHING remotely close to that.

    However here is your quote from the same thread:

    "you all can down vote me to your hearts content. but no one's explained why partnering with a person who's devoted themselves to sexual incompetence is better than being with that one who knows her way to an orgasm without involving a whole bunch of props and extras. "

    ^anyone with basic comprehension skills can see what you're implying and based on nyasha's comments this is the logic she was questioning.

    Enough time wasted, stop the foolishness and lets move on to bigger and better things.

    • grandgryph

      05/31/2011 at 10:24 PM

      why do you lie?

      first. the relevant gryph quote was this: "….i'd dump a woman who expected me to make her cum. why? grown folks are responsible for their own orgasms. that's all."

      that's very different from saying i'd dump a woman who expected me to make her cum. not that i don't care about her pleasure, but she should know how to get hers. making it my responsibility is some bullsh*t. so, you LIBELLED me from jump.

      i at least did you the courtesy of representing your arguments justly. i said: "he said he fuck and dump a woman he had instant sexual chemistry with". i said this because you claimed – and repeated – that a woman a man has instant sexual chemistry with is probably not someone you'd have a long term relationship with.

      here: "Ideally you want someone who you are sexually in synch with. Unfortunately these people usually are not the ones to have a long term relationship with."

      so, your attempt to misrepresent and smear me has failed.

  16. lincolnanthonyblades

    06/01/2011 at 1:17 AM

    Hilarious!

  17. Bruhman 3rd Flo'

    06/01/2011 at 2:48 PM

    That that first pic brings back some memories

  18. Blaximus

    06/02/2011 at 10:03 PM

    I've yet to meet ( or Meat..) a woman that couldn't cum in some way of another. Brothas, we must investigate her body fully. LOL….

    Be inventive!! You can put pressure on her clit with your hand while hitting it from the back, side or " CAT " position. Remember, Angles, Angles, and more Angles. A little geometry can go a long way.

    Sometimes being a good ( read GREAT ) lover takes a bit of skill plus balance. Get her to bust first, often, then go for yours.

    If she still can't bust she'll be exhausted and sleep like a baby anyway.

  19. Hopeless

    07/06/2011 at 7:18 AM

    And what to do when even clitoral stimulation doesn’t work in any way?

  20. Richiie

    09/25/2011 at 5:51 PM

    ok i gotta we have sex on the daily she love the d**** she screams and it get wet but she came befor…is it me!

  21. michelle

    12/27/2011 at 9:22 PM

    I have never cum at all and I can only orgasm myself – what am i not doing right?

    • Sarah

      08/15/2014 at 3:33 AM

      Tell your partner what you do to give yourself orgasms and maybe they can do it for you

  22. fprincess

    01/22/2012 at 6:02 PM

    Hi,
    I am 28 years old & can only cum by playing with my self, i had never cum by penetration. Recently i was dating this guy which i like him very much & i love, love the way he make love to me… well he decide to end up dating me because i can't cum. it is very frustrating, since then i been very depress !! The cat position do not works for me. Can some one please help ?! would they have any medication for this ??

  23. Joe

    03/01/2012 at 2:08 PM

    I did not know of the cat position until now & thought I had a special technique I can attest that this position does work well with good success but it is not 100% going to work with every woman every time. I belive there is also a comfort factor for some women that is also need ! The woman I am with now has never had an orgasm from penetration, As to why I am here. I knew that many women were hard to get off but have never has this much trouble satisfying my woman. She will get verry close but will not hit the big "O" from penetration alone. I know she is able get off because I get her off oraly. So if anyone has had a similar issue & found a solution please post it. If you haven't tried the CAT try it.
    I guess I am the stubborn dumb shit the author was talking about as I want to get her off with penetration, although I CAN accept it if my bestway to please her is not with my "pleaser" as I know she still enjoys it & I am more than happy to get her off any which way !

  24. Keene_Namir

    03/02/2012 at 3:22 AM

    I know the frustration of not being able to cum from straight up vaginal sex. I've gone through several guys who are like the ones mentions above who take on Mission: Impossible. Some got all pissy because they could not get me to cum, others just got flustered and eventually give up. Luckily, I have had two who actually took the time to find out how to get me off (besides me playing with myself), and though neither of those relationships worked out for other reasons, I do appreciate them still for being the kind of man who takes his time and does the job right.
    I have not heard of the CAT position before this, but I definitely am going to try it out.
    I also recommend experimenting and finding out what works for the both of you. Especially because though it is important to be able to satisfy each other, there does not have to be an orgasm every time. Try new things, enjoy the old things, and most important of all: HAVE FUN! There should be as much laughter and smiles in the bedroom as there is panting and body bending orgasms.

  25. Pat

    04/07/2012 at 7:39 PM

    I cant cum but I orgasm from masturbating it feels so good aaaaahhhhh doing it now hom alone and rubbing down like anything believe me I'm screaming with joy :D wish I could just do this to my crush

    • Reg

      04/07/2012 at 7:41 PM

      Pat I decided I like u after all now come fuck me now

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  27. Dr. Charles Runels

    12/17/2012 at 4:02 AM

    There really are women who can't reach orgasm and I've had patients with that condition. I gave them an o-shot which uses blood derived growth factors to give healthier vaginal tissue by stimulating uni-potent stem cells. This has been very effective with my patients. You can see how it's done at http://oshot.info

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  28. annaeckles

    02/23/2013 at 10:59 AM

    So, I have one post that i read and i can personally say, I was not able to bust multiple nuts and have intense orgasms from sex till I met my current boyfriend. See I know how to please a man, to the point they can't handle me and the only way my previous partners would contain then selves was for me a jus lay there pretty much. I couldn't never be on top not less i wanted to get it over with quick. They can't handle this ass. But my boyfriend can. I think i am border line sex addict. You could say, i've read a lot of Kama Sutra books and watched as much porn as a teenage boy. I felt unfulfilled with most men!

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  30. Renee

    12/12/2013 at 2:32 PM

    This had me laughing…. I guess it was truly my memories that had me laughing. The distinction that women do not have (what I like to call) a penis invited orgasm is different than her truly having an inability to do so. I personally believe all women can achieve this beautiful… glorious… e-lec-tri-fy-ing experience. Yes, I tend to enjoy the feeling and holding out just because the pre-orgasm feelings are enjoyable. LOL!

    I didn't always have orgasms through penetration. I used to be one of those people who didn't and felt that I couldn't. I know this is confusing to guys, but I still enjoyed sex. For me I enjoyed the feelings I could identify with. I think I was more of my problem than my man. When I would enjoy a long session and felt like it was going to happen he would cum. This didn't bother me often but at times it did because I actually felt it was happening. In hindsight it potentially was but I too needed yo clear my head, stop worrying about who could hear us, or hear the bed, etc… The day it happened for me I was doing my kegels during sex, which wasn't new for me, but I squee-zed (not wanting to let go), and it hap-pened. I drove him nuts! Just from soaking everything, and I mean everything on the bed. I surprised myself but it felt soo-ooo good. Damn!!! Memories…

    For me sex was about pleasing a man. I didn't initially like it, but it did feel good. And he acted a straight fool every time, so he liked it. When I wanted to enjoy it for myself, I got out of my own way. My man helped me it was he who told me to squeeze hard. Now, it's on. I was 29 and mothered 2 kids before having an orgasm.

  31. Renee

    12/15/2013 at 2:29 PM

    This had me laughing…. I guess it was truly my memories that had me laughing. The distinction that women do not have (what I like to call) a penis invited orgasm is different than her truly having an inability to do so. I personally believe all women can achieve this beautiful… glorious… e-lec-tri-fy-ing experience. Yes, I tend to enjoy the feeling and holding out just because the pre-orgasm feelings are enjoyable. LOL!

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