Black, Asian & Spanish Women Who Give Head Owe White Girls An APOLOGY

On Saturday night I went to my homegirl’s house to hang out and get some drinks before I went out to the club later that night and as we all sat there and chilled out, my boy started telling us about how he got the BEST head he ever had in his life the night before from a Korean girl. He said “Not to sound racist, but them Korean girls suck your c0ck like they are worshiping at the Temple of Deep Throat my nigga!” [p.s. starting a sentence with ‘Not to be racist’ usually is just a precursor for the rest of the sentence to be something extremely racist]. As some of the dudes went around the room talking about which race of women they personally feel was blessed with the best fellatio-abilities, one REALLY surprising thing happened: The Non-white girls slightly [and I mean VERY slightly] beamed with some sense of sexual-pride in being thought of as the Best Richard-Suckers of all time – and it’s all due to the brave social contributions of white women everywhere.

Anyone in their late 20’s and over is old enough to remember a time when Richard-Sucking was actively viewed like the NHL: It’s not that Blacks weren’t allowed, it was just dominated by whites and people of colour who grew up almost exclusively around white people. Hell, there was a time a nigga could get his ass beat ‘Waiting To Exhale’ style for just insinuating that Black women give the best head ever. Same with Spanish dudes as they couldn’t even begin to utter how great Spanish women are at fellatio without hearing ” Me cago en todo lo que se menea!” And Anime pr0n fantasies aside, ain’t no way in HELL Asian women would EVER take pride in being able to suck a good richard as a cultural trait. Basically you all heard the SAME rhetorical remark back: “What do I look like? A WHITE girl?!”

Now that we are in a much more sexually liberated society, let’s keep it REAL ladies & gentlemen, we use to talk about white women like they were BORN with knee pads and hockey goalie pads attached to them, and they would recreationally suck richard in a manner that NO other race of women would EVER think of doing [even though ALL your asses were doing the EXACT same thing at the EXACT same time].

White women are to Deep-Throating what Martin Luther King Jr. was to the Civil Rights Movement: They had to endure the insults, stereotypes and occasional beat-downs by the masses as they struggled to make the world a better place by holding firm to their ideals. Think about your high school, there was at least a FEW white girls who openly admitted to giving head, and not even in a whorish run-a-train-on-my-face way, but just a “I suck my boyfriend’s richard” way and think back to how much CRITICISM she had to endure at the hands of women of other races – who now in today’s day and age as grown-ass women, can suck a beach-ball through a red Twizzler.

Fast forward to today, and think about the reaction a man would get for saying “Man, all [insert non-white race here] women can’t suck richard worth a DAMN!” and see if that doesn’t make the majority of women of that particular race cringe in disgust at his lack of respect for their collective c0ck sucking capabilities. So with that said, all you women owe WHITE women an apology for going so hard on them for doing the one-thing you now do as openly and casually as you accused them of doing. Hell you should even throw in a ROYALTY every time you try to deep-throat whatever dude you’re with.

And when you’re done, you can start crafting the wording for the apology letter some of these Black, Asian & Spanish dudes owe to White guys about eating girls out. [But that’s a WHOLE other topic]

This Is Your Conscience

When Lincoln Anthony Blades is not writing for his controversial and critically acclaimed blog, he can be found contributing articles for Uptown Magazine. Lincoln wrote the hilarious and insightful book "You're Not A Victim, You're A Volunteer: How To Stop Letting Love Kick Your Ass". He is also a public speaker who has sat on panels all over North America and the Caribbean.