The MAIN Reason Men Are SCARED Of Thick Girls: The Post-Baby Body

As I have stated on this blog before, outside of Tony Horton, most straight, sane men can appreciate a sexy ass, curvy and round woman, especially if we are talking Black dudes because we LOVE thick [and often CHUBBY] girls. But if most men are being brutally honest, as much as we may fantasize about putting it on a 5’4, 160 pound girl with a D-cup, thick thighs and a fat ass – there is a heavy reluctance amongst many dudes to bring those women home, wife them up and pop out kids. As much as she starts out looking like the picture above, the GREAT fear men have is that she is a toddler away from looking like this below:

"It was ALL GOOD just nine months ago..." - Jay-Z/Too Short

The fact is, men today are CONFLICTED. When we turn on the TV, on watch music video’s or internet pr0n, it is IMPOSSIBLE to not see the overt sexiness in thick girls. But by the very same token, we ALL know one hot-thick girl from ’round the way’ who use to look like J-Lo in high school, but now two kids later looks like Big Pun – and to men, it seems like transforming from a thick girl into a baby Beluga whale is more likely than pulling a Jennifer Hudson post-child, and getting in shape. I agree with women when they say men are P*SSY for not even TRYING to get it in with a bigger girl, but y’all are DEAD WRONG for acting like there’s not a realistic maximum limit that should be set. If I have to f*^k you missionary with a weightlifter’s belt just to hold your legs up, you officially LOST the ‘Battle of the Bulge’ with the post baby weight.

Now I don’t want this to seem like an indictment on big girls and thick women because it’s definitely NOT. You women are SEXY. But I just felt the need to add some insight into why your man has that “seriously b*tch?! You ain’t full YET” look on his face when you walk around the house in that old school Nike Shirt that use to read “I wanna be like Mike” but now it’s just “wanna be” because I is trapped under your left t*tty, and Mike is hidden under your sweaty armpit, and the fabric is being stretched to the point of just evaporating into thin air.

Thick girls, men don’t NEED you to get slim post baby - all we REALLY want is for you to return to, and then maintain the weight that you had BEFORE the baby. The reality that very few people talk about is that MEN get post-baby body too. With all that shared craving they do throughout the pregnancy with their woman and the lack of gym time after the baby’s born, it’s not uncommon for dudes to look like a lower case b, so we understand and can accept weight gain. But the fear with thick girls isn’t so much body composition as it is her possible laziness, neglect and hubris.

Thick girls, men love you for what you are NOW, so forget the societal pressures to get cokehead thin, BUT stop thinking just because you are naturally thick and cute now that you can maintain that forever. Please get a gym membership, a scale, a REAL mirror and a clue, because the best way to prove to a dude that there’s NOTHING to fear post-baby, is by showing that you already are equipped to fight that battle.

This Is Your Conscience

When Lincoln Anthony Blades is not writing for his controversial and critically acclaimed blog ThisIsYourConscience.com, he can be found contributing articles for Uptown Magazine. Lincoln wrote the hilarious and insightful book "You're Not A Victim, You're A Volunteer: How To Stop Letting Love Kick Your Ass". He is also a public speaker who has sat on panels all over North America and the Caribbean.

21 Comments

  1. lincolnanthonyblades

    09/21/2011 at 4:20 AM

    Ladies, How Do You Plan On Handling Your Post-Baby Body To Keep In Shape If At All? If You Had Kids, What In The World Did YOU Do To Keep In Shape, If Anything At All?

    Gentlemen, Do You FEAR The Post-Baby Body? Or Is It NO Big Deal To You?

  2. krystllyght

    09/21/2011 at 8:32 AM

    It's funny you say this because my hubby has said it too. He said when the guys in school would look at the thick girls he would be like no way because after one kid drops so will that azz, it's gonna be dragging. Lol

    If You Had Kids, What In The World Did YOU Do To Keep In Shape, If Anything At All?

    I'm not completely in shape but I have lost all of my baby weight. I'm actually about five pounds less than what I weighed before having my firstborn. After my first, the weight just fell off so much so that I was very underweight. I thought it was the breastfeeding so I didn't pay it any mind at first but it wound up being a health concern. Anyway, after my second, I tried some things but I didn't do much to lose the weight for the first six months but then the new year came and I made the resolution to lose the thirty pounds. I stopped eating late at night (after 8pm) in January and by the end of February, I'd already lost ten pounds. In March I took up Zumba and Hip Hop Hustle at the Y and I reduced my carbs/sweets during the day and cut them out completely at dinner except for what carbs you get from veggies. We ate like this throughout the week and on weekends we were more lax. In May-June I added kettlebells. I started a kettlebell bootcamp in June to learn proper form. By mid July I was three pounds shy of my goal but started up eating a lot of fast food again because we moved and I gained six pounds back. Had my wisdom teeth out on August 1st and since I couldn't eat much, I lost the rest. I don't want to lose anymore weight, I just want to shrink my waist by about three to four inches and I'll be done I suppose. We started a six week fitness challenge on Labor day but that's not going so well so maybe the new goal will be to finish by Christmas. I'm 5 foot 6.5 inches and as of Labor day I weighed 149 and my waist was 33 inches. I haven't weighed or measured since. Ladies, not to sound like an infomercial but if I can do it you can do it too! Hootie-hoo!

    • NurseJilly

      09/21/2011 at 12:20 PM

      Good for you Krystal, its great that you and your husband are living a fit life style together. Makes all the difference:)

  3. ChloeRayne516

    09/21/2011 at 8:58 AM

    I have to say I was blessed that I didn't blow up like the army brigade when I had my daughter and thanks to breastfeeding, I lost all 30lbs in 10wks and went on a no junk food/no red meats diet for an additional month to lose the las Stubborn 5lbs. Also I have to say age plays a significant part as well in your body ability to bounce back quickly.

    • ChloeRayne516

      09/21/2011 at 9:03 AM

      "If I have to f*^k you missionary with a weightlifter’s belt just to hold your legs up, you officially LOST the ‘Battle of the Bulge’ with the post baby weight."

      BOL!!!

      You are so wrong for this. LmaOoOOO

  4. KemaVA

    09/21/2011 at 9:52 AM

    I am pretty thick and I did not blow up after having my 2. I think its all about eating habits and fitness. Sure you can eat all you want and nothing happens when you are young but as you age your metabolism slows and your waist grows. :-)

    The fact that this happens to men too should let you know that it is not about having a baby. Its about adjusting your eating & fitness levels as you become more sedentary. You didnt have to work out when you were young because you were playing basketball, walking around and just generally more active. As an adult this goes away. Now you're at a desk all day if you work in an office and of course there are almost daily office events that include food (wow! its someone's birthday again?).

    So men if you are really afraid of your woman 'getting fat' how about initiating active dates. Get a joint gym membership. Cook healthy meals together. Because when she does get pregnant you dont want everyone to think you are too!

    • krystllyght

      09/21/2011 at 11:17 AM

      You're right Kema, age and metabolism play a big role but also I think body type makes a difference. Wherever your body stores fat makes a difference. For a woman like you, gaining weight might just go to your backside or thighs and we know how much guys love that but mine goes straight to my gut, leaving me looking like I'm still pregnant. When I lose weight, it goes from my legs and butt first, leaving me looking like an ice cream cone if I don't keep with it.

  5. Yolanda

    09/21/2011 at 11:02 AM

    I wish a man could have a baby and raise a family alone. And see what the hell he would look like. Not to mention what is the excuse of all these dudes wearing 3 to 5X white tees and 44 jeans. Knock it off!

    • The_Mad_HATER

      09/21/2011 at 4:07 PM

      stop deflecting the issue!! you women have to keep in shape regardless of if men are or not!!

  6. Billy

    09/21/2011 at 12:09 PM

    agreed….
    saying no more

  7. NurseJilly

    09/21/2011 at 12:35 PM

    I fully intend to work out all through my pregnancy (lets hope I can…)
    Working out is such a huge part of my life so I don't see myself getting complacent with that. I know having time to get to the gym may not be easy but there are lots of things you can do @ home to stay fit.
    My yoga studio offers a mom and baby class also which is a great idea.

  8. Tammy

    09/21/2011 at 1:57 PM

    I So love this post. It is very true..Skinny girls got no play in high school. I was one of them..Had skinny legs that I hated. Thick girls in high school 10 years later with kids now wish they were me lol lol. T Long

    • The_Mad_HATER

      09/21/2011 at 4:04 PM

      and i thought i was a hater!!

      • Kimberly Dean

        09/21/2011 at 6:33 PM

        This is the most opinionated story on here ive ever read,but sence you were so bold enough,let me be so bold back!You could of kept this one in your throat BRA! who ever you are,Im a woman struggling with my body image,its a complex that was handed down to me by my Mother,Father,Baby daddys..Im glad alot of women on here stayed in shape after they had there babys,Good for you,BUT there are alot of reasons woman put on weight after baby,DEPRESSION because the BABY DADY LEFT you to take care of the baby alone is a good starter,food is often used for comfort,as a substitute for what is not their,just like any drug,this obviousely comes from the type of person who sees a big woman walk by and thinks or says,eeeeeeeww why doesnt she get a gym member ship,

  9. Kimberly Dean

    09/21/2011 at 6:35 PM

    If you would of showed concern on here,GENIUNE concern for the mothers health,i could of respected you,BUT if me haven what you call baby body offends you because,well damn ,…thats one less woman in the world you can fantasize about fucken.GO F$%&*K yourself,litteraly,We as woman put up with so much shit,and most of us are just doen what we can to be good mothers,and every where we turn were usually being told how we fall short in that area too.AND alot of us are doen it alone,so geting to the gym is usually last on the list,if its even on the list at all,BUT i do feel it should be ,FOR are healths sake ,emotional as well as physical,we gotta learn to put our selves on the list,prefferably at the top!AS,for you author i think youd of done well to talk to YOUR MAMA BEFOR you wrote this story,im gonna give it to her that shes gained some wisdom in her years on what its like having children and why woman struggle with certain issues,but if shes not around you get yourself a designated female writer friend membership ,the next time you feel you wanna exspress yourself on a Womans topic..

  10. Kimberly Dean

    09/21/2011 at 6:36 PM

    And FYI,the big girl in that picture sure dont look like shes hiden nothen from you or the rest of the world.As for me imma take my own advice and put myself on the list and get that gym membership the next time i get paid because I deserve it..PEACEANDHAPPINESS YALL IM OUT…PS,..I PREFER,dogy style..and if you ever were blessed enough to hit this from the back,youd be comen back! IM JUST SAYEN..>;)

  11. MistaHarsh

    09/21/2011 at 10:34 PM

    …..Soooooo no one's gonna respond to Kimberly D? does her ice grill in her FB pic scare ya'll?
    LOL

    Its really the luck of the draw. I know women who look better after having a baby. I know women with cocked bottoms that turned into deflated tires once they have kids. Some with stretch marks some with not a wrinkle. All I can say is its important to eat well before during and after pregnancy. Remember whatever aliments/conditions/bad habits you have WILL be passed onto your seed. If you don't want to be healthy for yourself do it for your child. AND USE THAT COCOA BUTTER

    FYI when I say healthy I'm not referring exclusively to weight.

    To Kim D: I feel you. However there are excuses for every problem in the world. As long as you have life you have the opportunity to be happy and/or attain what you desire but it takes hard work. It takes discipline and most of all it takes a different outlook on life. Your situation might not be ideal but its the cards you were dealt turn it into something that works for you.

  12. DatchikMalix

    09/27/2011 at 7:50 AM

    OH MAN!!!!

    this was one of my fear when i had my son. I’m physically small on top and heavier on the bottom …and of course after having my son i was even bigger on the bottom and stay the same up top.
    Now i tried to loose all the baby weight…but honestly, i couldn’t care less (may also have been lazyness…never been the working out type) i walked a lot instead (which really helped in the long run). The hubby never made a fuss about my shape, he actually appreciated my extra curvyness.

    However, if i have a second child, i’m def hitting the gym post baby…as you get older you gotta work harder to keep the shape you got!!

  13. Jamie

    11/29/2011 at 10:11 PM

    I actually found this a refreshing piece of honesty, cutting through the BS that many articles on the subject (often written by self conscious women or egotistical men) are full of.

    I'm 28 years old and have been active my entire life – with a routine of 5am swimming or surfing & after school sports. Through my teens I thought I was 'big' because I had an ass/arse and it wasn't until I met my American husband that I began to really feel good about my natural shape (I'm about 145lbs size 6-8US….. but up to 10 for pants).

    My older sister just had her 2nd child and I went back to Australia to see them recently and she looks pretty damn awsome! She's very similar size to me (but now has DD boobs!!) and is only about 15lbs above her pre-baby weight (7 months after baby #2) but due to different circumstances and a much less supportive husband (who uses low blows and pulls the "you're fat" card to cut her down during petty arguments) she hates her body!

    I remember our mother, with a similar body type as us, always being on a diet growing up, and talking about the fad diets she did in her youth (we all had to measure our ice cream -150mL – i still remember). I commend her for teaching us healthy food choices and the importance of an active lifestyle, but feel it was my mother, more than anyone else, who made me self-conscious during my teens/early-twenties… particularly when I lost a LOT of weight after a bad break up and while friends tried to feed me, she complemented me on my protruding ribs. :S

    A few years ago, my mother (who was never anywhere close to obese even after 4 kids, just curvy) finally lost the hips she'd been fighting for the last 40 years…. after going through menopause. (now i feel like a have to be careful not to hurt her while hugging her – is that how men feel hugging skinny girls??!!!???)

    I don't plan on putting on, or loosing weight, just maintaining a healthy lifestyle, but I think the difference between my sister or my mother and myself is the people I surround myself with. And it isnt just the man you marry, because i know my dad thinks women should have curves. You see, in Australia all my friends were petit/narrow hipped white girls who only put on weight on their tummies (my tummy is always flat… my butt on the other hand…). Moving to the US and mixing with Latina women and seeing how great someone who is shaped like me can look has given me a perspective. I wish my sisters back home could share my experiences and confidence!

  14. Sonya

    02/16/2013 at 8:05 PM

    Hmmmm..I get the opposite. Maybe its because the men actually try to get with me? I LOVE Zumba and Turbo Kick Classes..when these men hear I am working out they beg me not to/to stop. Ive recently attracted 3 bodybuilding..fitness instructors (Certified)..and they LOVE the way my body is..and tell me NOT to lose the weight. I find myself explaining its for health purposes..not looks. My best girl friend has the same things said to her. The smaller we get the more they beg us to go back to our old thickness..or keep it thick in the right areas.

  15. assman

    09/02/2013 at 12:23 AM

    Totally agree with this article. I love big breasts but in my life I have never gone after big breasted women and its exactly because they have thick bodies that I know will blow up after kids. Whereas the thin women with thin body types won't.

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