The MAIN Reason Men Are SCARED Of Thick Girls: The Post-Baby Body

As I have stated on this blog before, outside of Tony Horton, most straight, sane men can appreciate a sexy ass, curvy and round woman, especially if we are talking Black dudes because we LOVE thick [and often CHUBBY] girls. But if most men are being brutally honest, as much as we may fantasize about putting it on a 5’4, 160 pound girl with a D-cup, thick thighs and a fat ass – there is a heavy reluctance amongst many dudes to bring those women home, wife them up and pop out kids. As much as she starts out looking like the picture above, the GREAT fear men have is that she is a toddler away from looking like this below:

"It was ALL GOOD just nine months ago..." - Jay-Z/Too Short

The fact is, men today are CONFLICTED. When we turn on the TV, on watch music video’s or internet pr0n, it is IMPOSSIBLE to not see the overt sexiness in thick girls. But by the very same token, we ALL know one hot-thick girl from ’round the way’ who use to look like J-Lo in high school, but now two kids later looks like Big Pun – and to men, it seems like transforming from a thick girl into a baby Beluga whale is more likely than pulling a Jennifer Hudson post-child, and getting in shape. I agree with women when they say men are P*SSY for not even TRYING to get it in with a bigger girl, but y’all are DEAD WRONG for acting like there’s not a realistic maximum limit that should be set. If I have to f*^k you missionary with a weightlifter’s belt just to hold your legs up, you officially LOST the ‘Battle of the Bulge’ with the post baby weight.

Now I don’t want this to seem like an indictment on big girls and thick women because it’s definitely NOT. You women are SEXY. But I just felt the need to add some insight into why your man has that “seriously b*tch?! You ain’t full YET” look on his face when you walk around the house in that old school Nike Shirt that use to read “I wanna be like Mike” but now it’s just “wanna be” because I is trapped under your left t*tty, and Mike is hidden under your sweaty armpit, and the fabric is being stretched to the point of just evaporating into thin air.

Thick girls, men don’t NEED you to get slim post baby – all we REALLY want is for you to return to, and then maintain the weight that you had BEFORE the baby. The reality that very few people talk about is that MEN get post-baby body too. With all that shared craving they do throughout the pregnancy with their woman and the lack of gym time after the baby’s born, it’s not uncommon for dudes to look like a lower case b, so we understand and can accept weight gain. But the fear with thick girls isn’t so much body composition as it is her possible laziness, neglect and hubris.

Thick girls, men love you for what you are NOW, so forget the societal pressures to get cokehead thin, BUT stop thinking just because you are naturally thick and cute now that you can maintain that forever. Please get a gym membership, a scale, a REAL mirror and a clue, because the best way to prove to a dude that there’s NOTHING to fear post-baby, is by showing that you already are equipped to fight that battle.

This Is Your Conscience

When Lincoln Anthony Blades is not writing for his controversial and critically acclaimed blog, he can be found contributing articles for Uptown Magazine. Lincoln wrote the hilarious and insightful book "You're Not A Victim, You're A Volunteer: How To Stop Letting Love Kick Your Ass". He is also a public speaker who has sat on panels all over North America and the Caribbean.

1 Comment

  1. Erica Miss America

    10/27/2016 at 10:12 PM