Things DOUCHEBAG Dudes Say: “I’m Not Like Other Guys!”

"Baby I feel sorry for guys who only think about nani all day...I'm different!"

So I posted this Facebook status yesterday:

“Ladies, Next Sunday Is Your Opportunity To Show Your Man How Much You Love Him: Give Him QUIET During The Games, A Strip Show During The Commercials And HEAD During Half Time…He Will MORE Than Make It Up To You Mon-Sat”

Many people [men and women] laughed, a few liked the status and replied, and INEVITABLY there were the few dudes who decided to put on their Handiman capes and run to the false-rescue of womankind and declare that not only was I some kind of misspoken male representative, but they also felt the NEED to infuse the point that they are NOTHING like me and most other men – when they know damn well they are completely full of SH*T.

Ladies, if a man every utters the phrase to you “I’m not like other guys” there’s an extremely high chance that he is EXACTLY like other guys. The same disgusting, ignorant, offensive thoughts that the majority of men have, he ALSO has with the same amount of intensity and frequency, but he just subscribes to the “Tell them what they want to hear” ideology which means he is apt to LYING like a beeyotch to lure women into a false sense of security which essentially just makes his game a lot easier to run.

Ladies, I KEEP telling y’all that men are the same for the most part, and I will forever stand by that comment. What makes one man different from the next is not just simple superficial inclinations like how much he thinks about sex, and how useful he thinks the play “Vagina Monologues” is. The difference man-to-man is in contained in deeper thoughts and feelings that are not even apparent to each other as men. So if we as men can’t even realistically analyze what differentiates us in the innermost parts of our souls from other men, it’s safe to say that us thinking we are so vastly different then the majority of men out there is a played out ploy to attract more nani our way by playing the ultra-sensitive and caring cards.

Like all men, I have no real clue whether I am like other men or not, but I have an idea that on many issues most of us are the same. The fact that some b*tchass dudes had the GALL to knock getting head during the half time of a football game is so obviously ridiculous that any woman who even hears or reads a dude coming to that conclusion should instantly let him know that he actually is NOT like other guys in truth – because apparently he traded in his nutsack for a fully functioning vagina.

This Is Your Conscience

When Lincoln Anthony Blades is not writing for his controversial and critically acclaimed blog, he can be found contributing articles for Uptown Magazine. Lincoln wrote the hilarious and insightful book "You're Not A Victim, You're A Volunteer: How To Stop Letting Love Kick Your Ass". He is also a public speaker who has sat on panels all over North America and the Caribbean.


  1. lincolnanthonyblades

    09/06/2011 at 4:40 AM

    Ladies, Have You Ever Heard A Guy Utter This Phrase? What Was The Context? And What Did It Make You Think About Him?

    Gentlemen, Have You Ever Said This Before? Hell, Do You Actually THINK This?

  2. Comfortably In Like

    09/06/2011 at 10:56 AM

    Vagina monologues=pussy talks! Lol! Random AF! Anywho I hv heard this but I still put him in the same category as any other man until he proves he's diff. It's ok if ur not diff.. Ur a man i don't expect much from u in the first place.. Expectations come later as the relationships builds.. Nobody owes anyone anything…

    • Crystal Promo-Fernandez

      09/06/2011 at 11:58 AM

      That's a pretty bleak outlook..

  3. KemaVA

    09/06/2011 at 11:52 AM

    Hmmm… Are there guys that dont say that phrase??? I dont think I have ever met a man that didnt say he was different than other guys or unique.

    I always respond with "didnt MJ say that in the thriller video? "

    [Spoken Michael Jackson] I'm not like other guys.

    [Spoken Ola Ray] Of course not, that's why I love you.

    [Spoken Michael Jackson] No, I mean I'm different.

    [Spoken Ola Ray] What are you talking about?

    [Suddenly, the full moon appears. Michael begins
    squirming around, strangely.
    Ola looks confused and concerned,
    until Michael falls to the grown in severe agony]

    • Crystal Promo-Fernandez

      09/06/2011 at 12:03 PM


    • jenn

      09/06/2011 at 12:28 PM


    • @craziijnell

      09/06/2011 at 12:45 PM

      I will never remember this.

      • ATLienSince82

        09/06/2011 at 1:37 PM

        Why you can't remember that??

        • @craziijnell

          09/06/2011 at 2:34 PM

          Damn, I was clearly distracted. I meant "I'll never forget this".

    • MistaHarsh

      09/06/2011 at 5:43 PM

      LOL youse a fool for this one!

    • Jason Howe

      09/06/2011 at 10:45 PM


  4. Crystal Promo-Fernandez

    09/06/2011 at 12:03 PM

    I hate hearing guys say this, but I hate even more when other women say this! UGHH!!

  5. Paul Brown

    09/06/2011 at 12:23 PM

    Yes and no. I've used it to a limited degree, but in the sense that I use restraint. Yes, I like sex like any man, but I don't go chasing every skirt in the pursuit of a nut. I've always valued relationships and was different because of how I was raised, which has worked out for the good and bad at times.

  6. Paul Brown

    09/06/2011 at 12:32 PM

    I have learned that I don't have to say it, I just have to live it. If I have to TELL you I'm different, then either the problem is with your perception or I'm not doing a great job of living it.

    • ATLienSince82

      09/06/2011 at 1:37 PM

      See that's my thang…I know I'm not like every other dude out there, but if she doesn't just pick up on it naturally then I ain't gonna go out of my way to say it because then I just look lame as hell

      • Paul Brown

        09/06/2011 at 3:01 PM

        See, I used to say that in my younger days when I didn't know better. Now, I'm not worried about it. If she can't tell after a conversation with me that I'm on something different, she just weeded herself out for me.

        • GirlSixx

          09/06/2011 at 3:18 PM


  7. Shash

    09/06/2011 at 12:38 PM

    You right homie, anyone who says a guy wouldn't enjoy any of those things is a liar. I mean i'm not big on sports but it don't matter whats going on a strip show during a commercial for seinfield is greatly appreciated, and real talk, if i'm getting head during half time, i'll start watching football, basketball, soccer, cricket, tennis, and even golf (they got half time during golf right?)

    • ATLienSince82

      09/06/2011 at 1:36 PM

      Nigga i'll watch the WNBA with them chicks suffering from giganticism!

  8. rhenewal

    09/06/2011 at 2:26 PM

    LMAO! I'd watch every sport too, if I knew I'd get (good) head out of it.

    Co-sign on the "don't believe" any guy who says he's not like other guys. I've recently decided that all men are essentially the same, with minor differences in the WAY they piss me off, so this post was right up my alley.

  9. GirlSixx

    09/06/2011 at 3:13 PM

    Ladies, Have You Ever Heard A Guy Utter This Phrase?

    Yeah, I've heard the "I'm a different breed" or "I'm that dude" before and how I usually respond to that "Is that right baby?" *condescending voice with a smirk* because the way I see it if it's true it will definitely SHOW in the end plus the fact that you need to TELL ME your different, makes me scrutinize just a little bit more.

    Question: Fellas, what is your take on when woman say "I'm not that girl, I'm different from most women, I hold myself to higher/different standards?" Do you take her word at face value or do you give her the screw face?

  10. Paul Brown

    09/06/2011 at 3:52 PM

    There's a difference between saying all men (or women) are alike, versus all men (or women) are the same. Yeah, all straight men love nani and great head, but not all straight men will go to to the same lengths to get it. Yeah, we like it and any man that tells you he doesn't is gay, no ifs, ands, or buts about it. With that being said, all men can't be the same because they would be either all good or all bad, and every single woman that deals with men like that would have the EXACT same complaint or compliment for that matter about those men, which they don't. This can be said about women as well. I thank God that not all women are the same, especially after the dealings I've had with some. I know there were better women than the ones I chose at that time, so I needed to be able to recognize better and become better.

    I think people who want to lump all men together or all women together as being the same are just lazy and too scared to step out and would rather stay in the box and complain.

  11. krystllyght

    09/06/2011 at 5:18 PM

    What matters is that SHE thinks you're different, not that YOU think you're different. I've always been the one to say this about my husband. When I say it he always laughs and says he's just like any regular guy.

  12. Billy

    09/07/2011 at 10:07 AM

    I absolutely "love" those guys that "throw on a cape"
    Humourous is not the word

  13. Ronda Labean

    04/14/2013 at 1:28 PM

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  14. Johnathan Gack

    07/10/2013 at 1:42 PM

    ackson is recognized as the most successful entertainer of all time by Guinness World Records. His contributions to music, dance, and fashion, along with his publicized personal life, made him a global figure in popular culture for over four decades. The eighth child of the Jackson family, he debuted on the professional music scene along with his brothers as a member of The Jackson 5 in 1964, and began his solo career in 1971. In the early 1980s, Jackson became the dominant figure in popular music. The music videos for his songs, including those of “Beat It,” “Billie Jean,” and “Thriller,” were credited with breaking down racial barriers and transforming the medium into an art form and promotional tool. *,:;


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