In early August I was in New York watching the season finale [hopefully the SERIES finale] of ghetto-ass Basketball Wives [as I wrote about HERE]and I remember, during that I episode, hearing something about Jennifer Williams having a divorce party and getting some outlandish cake to celebrate being single and being able to let any frowsy young dude with a ceasar and Puerto Rican accent tear up her nani. Now when I saw that, I assumed it was just some ol’ TV-land bullsh*t - until today, when I learned that people actually DO have divorce parties - DOUCHEBAG people that is.
Listen people, this one is very simple: If you think it’s cool to celebrate breaking the sacred promise you made in front of your family and close friends [and God if you're religious], and tearing your family apart as if it should be a party instead of a moment of solemn reflection and personal growth, you probably are a f*^king DOUCHE. And this goes for women, men, invalids, transsexuals and whoever else can get married, so this is NOT an attack on just women - it’s an attack on people who lack the common class to treat the end of their life-changing and vastly-important union with even an OUNCE of courtesy or respect.
Apparently a young lady I know of, is throwing a Divorce Party for HERSELF to celebrate the fact that she is now officially divorced from her ex-husband and to celebrate the fact that she is free to take new pipe from her new boyfriend who was smashing her before the lawyers even quoted her how much they charge. But here’s my question: What the F*^K is there to be THAT happy about?
If you want to tell me she should be glad to be apart from her man, FINE – that STILL doesn’t justify doing the stanky leg at some frowsy hall or lounge when your children are now trying to deal with the finality that daddy will never live there again. If you want to tell me she is celebrating a new start to a new life, FINE – that STILL doesn’t justify playing ‘Pin the HIV-laced Syringe needle on my Ex-Husband.’ And if you want to tell me she should be ecstatic about correcting the mistake she originally made in marrying that man, FINE – but that STILL doesn’t justify dutty whining on the top of a speaker-box in your bare feet because you FAILED at love and acting with any sort of sense.
But ultimately most people who read this won’t give a flying F*^K because we now reside in a society where we hold damn-near NOTHING sacred – not even a legal and socially important agreement to spend the rest of our lives with the person we love. Hell, I’m not even a religious zealot or a marriage fanatic, but I can at least have a BASE level of respect for the institution on a whole. But I already know the main argument of the IDIOTS who will come in here to defend this Divorce Party BULLSH*T: “Hey man! To each his/her own so stop watching other people.” And that advice is not even 100% wrong – if you want to be a classless smut who derives joy out of inflicting emotional and mental pain, then do you – you selfish c*nt.
This Is Your Conscience
80 Comments, Comment or Ping
lincolnanthonyblades
Ladies & Gentlemen, WHat Are YOUR Thoughts On Divorce Parties?? Have Any Of You Actually BEEN To One? Hell Have Any of You THROWN One?
Oct 18th, 2011
krystllyght
I'm not a douchebag or a selfish cnut but I can totally understand why some people would do this. Sometimes marriage isn't all it's cracked up to be or you marry the wrong person and if you can come out stronger, then by all means have a party baby. You deserve to have a good time at least once in your life even if it is after something considered sad. It's like making the best out of a bad situation.
Oct 18th, 2011
KemaVA
I agree! It is making the best of a bad situation. Yea they can sulk but it wouldnt do them any good. Its kinda like people that want their funerals to be a party. Its not like they want everyone to be happy they are gone. They want you to celebrate their past life. Thats what a divorce party really is… Celebrating the rest of your life.
Anyway…
Do we really need to justify "dutty whining on the top of a speaker-box in your bare feet "? I sometimes do that because I woke up!
Oct 18th, 2011
gtman811
I think Divorce Parties are disrespectful. There is no reason to throw a party on something that failed. That is like throwing a party after you get defeated during the Super Bowl, NBA Finals, World Cup, etc, etc. Humility is lost amongst a lot of us. Personally, I would be ashamed if my marriage ended regardless of who did wrong first. A lot of couthless people out there………
Oct 18th, 2011
Vicky
You celebrate your new found freedom from a failed marriage….A.K.A Girl's Night Out.
"Divorce Party" just sounds wrong, disrespectful and just straight up distasteful!
Oct 18th, 2011
krystllyght
Kema you never fail to make me laugh! I'mma have to go figure out what dutty whining is so I can do it when I wake up one day.
Oct 18th, 2011
Jason Howe
I'm with you on this one; a divorce party or any celebration to me is ridiculous. A divorce represents a failure in your life; therefor there was no celebration on my part, just reflection on how to avoid the pit falls in my next relationship.
Oct 18th, 2011
ChloeRayne516
Why you mad Son!!????
Look I can totally get behind throwing a divorce party BUT only under certain circumstances though, like for instance, if you dealt with an a abusive marriage and you finally rid yourself of that person then by all means… It's A Party, It's A Party, It's A Partaayyyy!!! If there was infidelity and the cheater got his or her azz handed to them in court…. I'm Spending Money Like a Rich White Girrlll….Cuz I'm Feelin Myself or last but not least if the whole divorce process was emotionally draining due to the ex fighting you tooth and nail just to make your life miserable…Ain't No Stopping Us Now, we're On the Move!!!
These are the situations whereas I feel a Divorce Soiree should be in order and I am far from a CUNT booboo.
Oct 18th, 2011
Nicole Stewart
AGREED. I think it's EXTREMELY disrespectful. Also, I really don't get the logic in having a party basically celebrating that you suck at marriage. Just doesn't make sense to me.
Oct 18th, 2011
KemaVA
Exactly!!! I feel that usually the marriage was painful and you just want to celebrate being free from it.
Oct 18th, 2011
krystllyght
Okay! I'm with you G6! Sometimes a good time is just needed. It's what the doctor orders! Plus people cope with things differently and if a party helps a person get over a divorce, more power to them. My mom recently got divorced again and though she wouldn't be the type to throw a party I could tell the difference in her tone when we spoke on the phone. She was as happy as she could probably get, cracking jokes and what not. (Sidenote: my mom hardly ever jokes.) If she wanted to have a party who the hell am I to tell her how to live her life? Do what makes you feel good is all I can say and if you hate a divorce party then don't go to one.
Oct 18th, 2011
Jason H
Naw I cannot role with you two on this today. Even if you are coming from the worst marriage ever, it is still a failure. You are divorcing someone you loved and vowed to spend your life with… weather it is judgment, maturity, failure to adapt, etc…. you failed somewhere….
Oct 18th, 2011
krystllyght
I can get behind a divorce party but I should concede here a little bit and say maybe calling it that is what's wrong here.
Oct 18th, 2011
Jason H
Agreed, nothing more then a failure, and no failure should be celebrated.
Oct 18th, 2011
Vicky
I understand what you are saying but if you are coming out of a bad marriage, having a party is the LAST thing on your mind. Your friends will be there for you and help you, yes, I get that. Take you out for a good time, I get that as well. I think what it comes down to is the fact that it's labeled "Divorce Party" instead of "A Party to Honour (insert divorcees name)" cheapens the whole celebration.
I also think that the people who throw themselves a divorce party are usually the stay at home wives who have too much money in their wallets and now getting a decent cut of spousal support. But then again, that's probably just a stereotype I created in my head
People are always finding a way to celebrate life, and I'm all for that, but not something like divorce and treating it like a bachlorette party is not really my thing nor do I agree with it.
Oct 18th, 2011
krystllyght
I was just saying that under your above comment. Maybe just don't call it a divorce party. Idk what to call it though.
Oct 18th, 2011
ChloeRayne516
I understand what you are saying, but to some people a divorce doesn't necessarily mean their life is over because they no longer have their spouse and they should grieve or sulk in private, depending on the situation for some people it means that life has just begun for them and they are finally starting to live.
I can understand that maybe the term "Divorce Party" may be a tad bit insensitive … so how about an "Independence Party" does that sound more PC?
Oct 18th, 2011
ChloeRayne516 is G6
"Do what makes you feel good is all I can say and if you hate a divorce party then don't go to one."
EXXXXACTLY!!!!
Oct 18th, 2011
ChloeRayne516 is G6
An "Independence Party"
Oct 18th, 2011
Vicky
Which I totally understand – Life is not over if a relationship/marriage fails, I get that and I'm far from stating that…oh gosh, if I thought that – I would be under a rock by now! LOL!
But yes, that's my point, the term itself is just wrong….the fact that you are partying because your relationship/marriage failed is wrong. How many people do you know have "I dropped out of school party" or "I failed my driver's test party"? Celebrate new beginnings, new adventures, life in general
Oct 18th, 2011
ChloeRayne516
I agree with this 1000x
Oct 18th, 2011
ChloeRayne516
….the fact that you are partying because your relationship/marriage failed is wrong.
You got a point to some degree; like I said in my earlier comment UNDER CERTAIN CIRCUMSTANCES I think a party is warranted.
Oct 18th, 2011
Paul Brown
I think the idea of a party for an event like this is a bit asinine to say the least. To say not living up to vows taken merits a celebration just comes off as a bit insulting. That's just me though.
Oct 18th, 2011
@MOTRenaissance
It is easy for women to celebrate… (Hint Hint) Y'all win cash & prizes
Oct 18th, 2011
HerCommonSense
I think the argument here is does that really constitute making the best out of a bad situation. I think moving on and having a good life is making the best out of it, but throwing a divorce party seems tasteless because it shows a general lack of remorse while also making divorce seem a little too light hearted.
I don't think it's cause for celebration at all, but that's just me.
Oct 18th, 2011
HerCommonSense
I think the classless aspect of it is assuming all parties are ready to do the "dutty-whine" too. It kind of reminds me of celebrating a murderer's murder: You may be happy, but if that murderer has kids or a family, you are also celebrating their pain.
Oct 18th, 2011
HerCommonSense
Actually, I agree with you here.
Oct 18th, 2011
HerCommonSense
Great point about people and humility. It's almost like humans are conditioned to do a touchdown dance just to show they are not weak, when the real strong action would be taking everything in stride and not feeling the need to blow it up into some spectacle.
Oct 18th, 2011
HerCommonSense
If there's kids involved like the scenario presented above, then I find it straight up disgusting.
Oct 18th, 2011
HerCommonSense
If you can celebrate divorce, then it makes me wonder how much effort you put forth in the actual marriage.
Oct 18th, 2011
HerCommonSense
I think going through the effort of planning a party is simply distasteful. I hope a battered woman would not think that the best sign of showing her resolve in leaving a man would be throwing a large fete, because that really only shows a lack of mental strength and a high level of childish behavior,.
Oct 18th, 2011
HerCommonSense
"Do what makes you feel good is all I can say and if you hate a divorce party then don't go to one."
Definitely can't rock with this statement as it relates to a family breaking up. Sorry.
Oct 18th, 2011
HerCommonSense
I will say something I have never said yet on this site: I think this is only something us women can get away with.
Because if a man threw a "divorce party" to celebrate that he was dumping his old wife to start a life with a much younger and beautiful woman, he would be seen as a complete ass.
Oct 18th, 2011
HerCommonSense
To me it's more about the activities than the name. From what I understand the divorce party has games directed at disrespecting your ex, attempting to downgrade and embarrass them and ultimately it's not about propelling the party-thrower forward in life, but just to make them seem better than the person they left.
I absolutely love the idea of an Independence Party where the focus wouldn't be on looking back on the past with anger, regret, shame and embarrassment, but just looking to the future and not even having to make your ex's disgrace such a central theme to the celebration.
Oct 18th, 2011
krystllyght
Well I hate divorce but I can understand why people do this. Divorce can take a long time, months and months can go by so the remorse that the person first felt is long gone by the time it's finalized and a party could be their way of being happy the process is over. IDK what goes through their minds. I'm not getting divorced but I can't hate on the way they cope.
Oct 18th, 2011
Crystal Promo-Fernandez
The only reason I would never even think of throwing a "Divorce" party is because I wouldn't want that bastard invading my party at all! Someone mentioned "Independence" party and that is something that I would do in a second!!
Oct 18th, 2011
krystllyght
That's fine. I'm a child of divorce and seeing how my momma acts when she's around my dad and step-dad, I'm dang sure happy they got divorced even though I hate divorce.
Maybe when they have a party it's their way of saying this person doesn't love me anymore but I'm going to surround myself with people who do even if it is just for a night.
Oct 18th, 2011
Crystal Promo-Fernandez
I just couldn't have fun partying with the thought of my Ex anywhere near me! I would prefer that his name isn't even brought up and hot guys are all around me! LMAO
Oct 18th, 2011
krystllyght
"To me it's more about the activities than the name. From what I understand the divorce party has games directed at disrespecting your ex, attempting to downgrade and embarrass them and ultimately it's not about propelling the party-thrower forward in life, but just to make them seem better than the person they left."
Is that what they do? Well I can't get behind that.
Oct 18th, 2011
The_Mad_HATER
but if i threw a chick a surprise party because im happy for her the stitches got taken out of her puss after being raped yall would call me insensitive!! smh
Oct 18th, 2011
The_Mad_HATER
i hope these chicks invite their damn kids to these divorce parties so all they can witness all those sour chicks running their dads name into the ground!
Oct 18th, 2011
The_Mad_HATER
tell em!! its a god damn alimony party up in that piece!!
Oct 18th, 2011
The_Mad_HATER
exactly!! you show me a chick who throws a divorce party and ill show you a chick who didnt give a damn in the first place!! ol fakin ass!
Oct 18th, 2011
The_Mad_HATER
lol you know its not that at all!! she just wants to gargle a new guys balls just like her single stank friends because she felt like she been missing out all those years!
Oct 18th, 2011
The_Mad_HATER
you need to google that shit like i did!! there are divorce party planners!!!
Oct 18th, 2011
The_Mad_HATER
preach!!!!!!!!!!
yall remember that movie a diary of a mad black woman??? that nigga dragged her ass kicking and clawing around the house and literally threw her black ass in the street with nothing more than the clothes on her back!! its cool for that abusinve ass nigga to throw a divorce party??? fuck that!!
Oct 18th, 2011
krystllyght
Naw, we would call you a dumb@ss.
Oct 18th, 2011
gtman811
I totally agree with you Vicky. A retirement part is understandable but an I got fired party or an I quit party makes no damn sense and a Divorce Party falls into that category.
Im cool with the lets go to a club and celebrate new beginnings, but to have a whole event based on a failed marriage………….come on
Oct 18th, 2011
The_Mad_HATER
how???? its the same thing!! she should be so happy that she survived the rape that she should go do the dougie according to the logic of the women in this thread!! we would just be celebrating how great it is that she moved on past a bad experience!
Oct 18th, 2011
gtman811
Preach
Oct 18th, 2011
krystllyght
Rape is a crime performed against somebody, divorce is not. Plus, those throwing divorce parties are mostly throwing them for themselves. If you throw a party for her about that, you've invaded her privacy. If she wanted to do it herself, go ahead. It'd be awkward but I'd attend with a big@ss gift.
Oct 18th, 2011
gtman811
Lmao @gargle a new guys balls
Oct 18th, 2011
krystllyght
Not gargle! You made me laugh out loud with this one! iPeed a little.
Oct 18th, 2011
gtman811
100% agree with this point.
Oct 18th, 2011
ChloeRayne516
Yeah, I didn't know this either, I'm not about that life!!! My assumption was it was a little shindig to celebrate with your close friends and loved ones. The cakes are hilarious though.
Oct 18th, 2011
krystllyght
I agree with you.
You know what though, that dude is celebrating. He's probably attending a party every dang night with that new trick. That dude's friends is probably hyping him up and dapping him behind closed doors. I think it depends on the wife.
Oct 18th, 2011
ChloeRayne516
It is WHAT it is.
I didn't make the rules, I just live by them. *shrug*
Oct 18th, 2011
krystllyght
I'd seen something on TV so I thought I knew. Oh well.
Oct 18th, 2011
ChloeRayne516
i don't even think it goes down like that all the time!!
Oct 18th, 2011
The_Mad_HATER
so what is your ultimate point here?? that its perfectly fine to throw those stupid parties or that you arent judging because apparently its not in your jurisdiction to tell someone what they should and shouldnt do???
Oct 18th, 2011
The_Mad_HATER
here we go!!! one bag of assumptions about the man none of which were brought up about the woman!!
Oct 18th, 2011
KemaVA
"It'd be awkward but I'd attend with a big@ss gift"
Thats a true friend!
Oct 18th, 2011
ChloeRayne516
Okay but who's to say that they don't throw such a fete under the disguise of another name?
And not for nothing I can't really see a woman throwing a D-party after kicking her husband to the curb for NO GOOD REASON.
Oct 18th, 2011
ChloeRayne516
THANK yOU!!!!
Oct 18th, 2011
krystllyght
Mostly, I'm just not judging. I try not to do that a lot when I've not been in the situation myself. Down below I said I can't get behind it if they're disrespecting the old spouse so that would be my qualm. It takes two to tango and I know all the fault of the divorce does not fall on one person so I don't think it's right when people go there but yeah, it's your party, cry if you want to or dutty whine if you want to. My friend is going through a divorce. If she threw a party, I'd be there. Maybe I'm not supportive of the divorce but I'm supportive of my friend when she's acting in her right mind and doing what's best for herself.
Oct 18th, 2011
KemaVA
Divorces are dirty… So are the parties
Oct 18th, 2011
ChloeRayne516
Hell No!!!
and I wouldn't condone a woman throwing a D-party if she kicked her hubby to the curb due to her cheating, abuse, etc.
Oct 18th, 2011
krystllyght
I just brought it it could depend on the wife! It's the last sentence there…see?
Oct 18th, 2011
ChloeRayne516
I remember Sheree from RHOA throwing one but her's was very tasteful – no male bashing or any of that, matter of fact i think she called it an independence party not a divorce party. Now Jennifer's from Basketball Wives was heelarious, that cake with the knot on eric's head. *DEAD* but in all honesty I wouldn't even do that because too me it looked as if she was actually bitter about him.
Oct 18th, 2011
The_Mad_HATER
you cant define the rules because divorce parties already exist and they are a big fuck you to your ex! you may not do that but thats just what they are at this point!! theres not a good kind and a bad kind of divorce party because its all wrong!!
Oct 18th, 2011
The_Mad_HATER
so why does she gotta be a trick! maybe his trifling ass lazy ass wife laying up in the house not doing shit and spending all his money is the real trick and he upgraded!!
Oct 18th, 2011
The_Mad_HATER
aint no good reason to be celebrating that mess and thats the point!!
Oct 18th, 2011
The_Mad_HATER
see!! if youre gonna take that stance then dont say nothing when men are rightfully lashing out against these stupid system that is stacked against us!
Oct 18th, 2011
krystllyght
Then more power to him!
Oct 18th, 2011
The_Mad_HATER
smh! see thats the problem with society today! we have no standards for anybody because anything is cool to do as long as it makes someone feel good! and then we have the nerve to wonder why shit is so fucked up!
Oct 18th, 2011
Dollabill
LMFAO
Oct 18th, 2011
Dollabill
Real
Oct 18th, 2011
MistaHarsh
I don’t think its the parties involved who celebrate more than the influential people around them. The group that drags you out to a club and fill you up with jesus juice, the same people who finally get to say to your face with conviction that “I don’t know why u stayed with that fool anyways”.
They want the party more than anything to welcome u back to their misery that is dating in your 30s. Good luck on ur celebration of being a failure at happiness!
Oct 18th, 2011
lincolnanthonyblades
Real Friggin' Talk
Oct 19th, 2011
Jason Howe
Perfect.
Oct 19th, 2011
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