ThisIsYourConscience.com

Recently it has become harder and harder to be a Common fan with all the BS occurring lately. Now understand I have been a fan of his since I heard “Can I Borrow A Dollar” in 1993, but after the recent Maya Angelou fiasco (which she was RIGHT for getting up in his ass) and now this current corny beef with Drake, I now have to start hiding my face when I announce I like Common, the same way people in Buffalo have to hid their faces when they admit they’re BILLS fans. Hold you hats rap fans it’s about to be a GIRL FIGHT.

The idea of these two rappers going in on each other invokes the mental image of one light-skinned cornball in a faded out dashiki, Hammer pajama pants, a knitted rainbow-kufi and home made woollen gloves with the fingers cut out (with tofu in his fingernails) trying to slap box with another light skinned cornball straight out the upper middle-class “slums” trying to get gully with his peach fuzz and jewfro. Basically something like this:

Now what makes this battle particularly corny is NOT the fact that they are supposedly battling over Serena Williams (hell, MOST rap beefs start over extremely CORNY BS due to rappers oversensitivity and b*tchassness) but what makes this particular rap battle disgustingly corny is the fact that both dudes are at a place in their lives where being gully on the mic is so far from their respective wheelhouses that it defeats the purpose of a meaningful mic-conflict.

In my opinion, what made Nas vs. Jay-Z one of the best rap battles in history is the fact that they were both in a place in their careers where conflict made sense and brought out an interesting and relevant side of their on-stage personas. Nas was fading into relative obscurity and Jay was riding high on a string of hot yet non-substantive songs. When they collided, it ultimately made both men ARTISTICALLY better – but that’s NOT the case with Common or Drake at THIS point in their careers.

Why you ask? Because both of these dudes are at a place in their careers where being Cottonelle Supreme soft is not only their current positions – it’s the actual embodiment of their entire current beings.

Common USE to be that dude. When he went at Ice Cube (who is definitely NOT just some studio gangster) and the Westside Connection, he not only BODIED them but he solidified himself as un-f*^kwittable on the microphone and garnered massive respect on BOTH coasts – and then he became Mr. Badu and started wearing rainbow socks with the individual toes. I definitely DON’T want to hear you beef nigga.

Believe it or not, for a second, Drake USE to be that dude too. He recorded one of my favourite diss tracks ever towards another Canadian rapper named Aristo…

…and then he got famous and started believing he “could catch a body” when he really just wanted his sandwich order taken properly.

Both of you actors are so far removed from being lyrically relevant that the correct response would not be to act gangster to one another, but to just simply concede the argument and realize your both uber creative, emo nerds – like Kanye:

I suggest you two dudes meet up at a mutually agreed upon location, let Serena ref, and have a b*tch-slap off and whoever gets the most red loses – that will be a MILLION times more interesting than your beef on the mic.

This Is Your Conscience