Two people both feeling like they deserve better - but are both equally full of the same SH*T
If there is one theme that is running rampant amongst the majority of my single friends, it’s the concept of dating UP in the new year. My friends want to set higher expectations and land themselves mates who are seemingly perfect with an overabundance of positive character traits while only being hampered with a few insignificant negative ones. Now I am one for encouraging people to shoot for the stars personally and professionally, but what I find irritating as hell is when people get on their high horse and start believing they DESERVE a great person – when their punk-ass is far from being a great person.
Listen, if you are a selfish, ignorant, douchey jerk and you are currently in a relationship with a giving, loving, caring angel of a human being (as much as I feel sorry for your significant other) I can’t do much besides wishing you guys the best and hoping that things eventually work themselves out. But if you’re a selfish, ignorant, douchey jerk and you are currently single and all you can do is spend the better part of the day complaining that there are no good men/women left, when you are full of inconsistencies, hypocrisy, failure and disappointment your damn self then you need to shut your damn mouth.
You deserve to date yourself. Really take that statement in – and then do a realistic self-audit of who you TRULY are as a person. REALLY analyze your intrinsic characteristics (are you trustworthy? Faithful? Respectful? Caring? Hard-Working? Etc.) and take stock of everything that you are NOT right now, but are working hard to be (i.e. Highly-educated, Wealthy, Successful, Etc.) and finally, ask yourself what you would do if you could date yourself RIGHT now.
The reality is, many of you are too self-absorbed to realistically evaluate yourselves in a substantive manner that could lead to qualitative self-improvement, but for those of you not THAT douchey, I think it’s safe to say that to date yourself you would have to do the one thing we rarely speak about when analyzing someone’s dating potential: Aligning your shortcomings and compromising.
Obviously everyone is not frowsy, but the fact is everyone is not perfect and since we all bring our own unique flaws into any relationship we enter into, we have to be realistically mindful of what we are asking from others. I have single male friends who want women with impeccable bodies (phat ass and t*tties) yet this dudes walk around looking like 2009 Kevin Federline. I have single female friends who want men with their own home, car, and big job, yet these women still live at home with their parents, ride the subway everywhere and make $10 an hour at KFC, and will steadily talk about how good dudes are all taken or gay.
But before you go on that rant I have one question for you: If that perfect physical, mental, spiritual and emotional ten walked into your life today, and gave you the best love and loving that you’ve ever had and made your life easier, more enjoyable and was just as close to perfection in a single person as possible, do THEY really deserve you or don’t they deserve to upgrade?
This Is Your Conscience
24 Comments, Comment or Ping
lincolnanthonyblades
So What Do You Think About DESERVING To Date Yourself? Could You Date Your Current Self Right Now? Would It Be Upgrading
Jan 11th, 2012
Jason
“ If that perfect physical, mental, spiritual and emotional ten walked into your life today, and gave you the best love and loving that you’ve ever had and made your life easier, more enjoyable and was just as close to perfection in a single person as possible, do THEY really deserve you or don’t they deserve to upgrade?”
Honestly, No, I would not deserve her… but I would do everything in my power to keep her ☺. 10’s just don’t grow on trees so it would be kinda like someone giving me a million dollars, there are more deserving people but you can bet your ass im gonna cash the check and not say give it to someone else. Getting a ten in my life would just be the motivation to upgrade myself I guess… but in the words of William Munny, “deserves got nothing to do with it”… get the best you can and look to improve yourself…
Jan 11th, 2012
ChloeRayne516
Interesting Topic!!!! I'm going to keep it 100, yes I could and would date my current self right now BUT I wouldn't put a ring on it tho. #Welp.
I'm still going through my ME, ME, ME phase right now, so dating myself would be cool FUN but if I'm looking to settle down, I would say Imma need to upgrade.
*shrug*
Jan 11th, 2012
Smilez_920
Good Post
I think a lot of people don’t know who they are, they are not aware of their flaws so therefore they make no effort to fix them. If you want better you have to do better for yourself. We need to put more energy in making sure that we have our own stuff together before we go out looking for others.
How do you expect someone to deal with you when you can’t even deal with you?
Jan 11th, 2012
rhenewal
I'd date me. And put a ring on it.
Jan 11th, 2012
NurseJilly
Great post!! Always good to think about what you have to offer the world, not just what you can take frrom it. Applies to dating as well. I think I'm pretty fantastic…(pats self on the back) lol…
Jan 11th, 2012
NurseJilly
"Honestly, No, I would not deserve her… but I would do everything in my power to keep her…
Love this! Having someone who makes you want to be a better person is a great way to upgrade yourself.
Jan 11th, 2012
Vicky
LMAO! Sorry, this made me laugh!
Jan 11th, 2012
Independent Woman
This post hopefully will help A LOT of women realize they deserve a better man..
Jan 11th, 2012
Independent Woman
And what makes you so fantastic?
Jan 11th, 2012
Independent Woman
SMH
So you don't think you deserve to be wifed up right now?
Jan 11th, 2012
Kema
I would definitely date myself… Actually I think that’s what I look for. Only if I was dating myself I may have a potential stalker.
Jan 11th, 2012
ChloeRayne516
No, because I was MARRIED for over 10 yrs and I am now still enjoying SINGLEHOOD and if I was to be I know I would screw it up.
I still get offers though to get boo'd/wifed up.. .
Jan 11th, 2012
ChloeRayne516
Hmmm,
Interesting question….
*WaitsforNurseJilly'sResponse*
Jan 11th, 2012
NurseJilly
Great question! 1st off I am certainly not so conceited that I don’t think I have flaws or things to work on but overall I think I am fantastic.
I am lucky enough to be in a profession where I get to help people, on a daily basis. I truly love being a nurse and go above and beyond for not only my patients but for everyone that I come in contact with in life. I truly love life and generally have a positive outlook which isn’t easy considering I’ve had a somewhat difficult life. As far as dating attributes I would say I am a kind, understanding, trustworthy, passionate woman who would do anything for the people I love. These are some of the things that make me fantastic.
Side note: I’m a bit of a freak too so that helps
Jan 11th, 2012
Independent Woman
In short..
GREAT answer!
Jan 11th, 2012
Concrete_Rose
I agree with this! You can't expect more from others than you would expect of yourself.
Jan 11th, 2012
NurseJilly
Great point.
You are absolutely beautiful btw..
Jan 11th, 2012
Independent Woman
The sharks will be circling her soon…SMH
Jan 11th, 2012
Tudor
*music from Jaws playing*
Jan 11th, 2012
Kema
Wow! I would date you too! Lol!
Jan 11th, 2012
Concrete_Rose
Why thank you!! I appreciate the compliment
Jan 11th, 2012
NurseJilly
Thanks Kema;)
Jan 11th, 2012
Adrian
"You deserve to date yourself"
That statement is absolute truth, however, there are many who either luck out (wife up better than what they deserve) or get the short end of the stick (wife DOWN less than what they deserve). The dating game is definitely not balanced, and I think that's one of the key reasons why you have people walking around with boosted or battered egos.
Jan 12th, 2012
Reply to “In DATING, You Don’t Deserve ANYONE Better Than What You Currently ARE”