I’m in TEARS as I write this – not tears of joy or pain, but the tears that come when you laugh so hard during a conversation that your cheeks start to burn and you start to get light headed. Now whenever I’m around close friends, people are always giving me ideas on things I should write on, and mostly it’s stuff I’ve either covered ["write something on why men cheat!"] or stuff that’s so personal to that particular person that it’s almost impossible to gleam any greater point from it ["Yo dawg, you gotta ask these chicks why they get mad cause a brotha wants to get it in with their best friends! I mean I ain't say I would do it, I just said I would if she was single knahmean?!"]. But yesterday I got the GREATEST topic ever and I’mma cover that now.
As I sat and conversed with a few friends over the phone last night, one of my boys said he thinks his girl is trying to underhandedly undercut their love life without coming right out and saying so. Apparently she is very passive-aggressive, and in true passive-aggressive fashion, she would rather drop hints at things she wants him to do, or STOP doing, as opposed to coming right out and just SAYING it. So here’s HIS story:
“Yo bruh, I noticed over the last couple of weeks my woman’s nani went from rocking a bald fade to a full out Marley kid son! Her sh*t got locks with a red, gold and green headband my dude! I don’t know what her deal is, but she hasn’t been regularly shaving in MONTHS and I think she just trying to say she wants a time-out from my richard you feel me?”
“Listen fam, when we first started dating her nani was vacationing in Brazil constantly! Now her sh*t looks like the forest they filmed Blair Witch in! I can’t even see her clit anymore bro, It’s just a hazy dark thing hiding behind the bush like grainy home video of Big Foot! I know she don’t wanna just come out and say she tired of me beating that nani up, but she regulating my richard like Joe did the Jackson 5!”
As much as he had me DYING of laughter, I kept trying to put myself in his shoes and ponder on what I would think had I found myself in that scenario – and it’s not a far reach to say that the hairier my girls nani got, the more I would think she really didn’t love me as much as she use to.
First off, ladies y’all know DAMN WELL that hairless is what’s HOT in the streets right now. Men don’t mind a little soul patch or landing strip, but at the end of the day, we just want to avoid nani that looks like a crows nest if at all possible. When OUR woman makes sure she keeps down there lined up, as much as we know its also for you and your personal hygiene, there is a big part of us that feels you got shaped up FOR US. So we can navigate down there without a pruning saw and get to see your nani in all its glory and beauty.
Like I’ve said many times on this blog before, men make the unfortunate association with equating our bedroom performance to our woman’s overall happiness with the relationship as a whole. So, when women do everything in their power to seemingly want to make our dreams come true, we feel like the relationship is in GREAT SHAPE. But the second our woman starts to do something like discontinuing the nani-line ups and letting her panties look like the street behind Wrigley Field, then we will feel like she is not only turning away from the physical part of the relationship, but the entire relationship as a whole.
I will always try to inform men that we need to do a MUCH better job of listening to women when they make “seemingly small and insignificant” complaints because often times as small as it seems to us, it’s usually much more important to them then we give it credit for. With that said, ladies, there are things that your man will bring up that may seem “small and innocuous” to you, but really is a lot more important than you think. So when he comes and asks you out the blue “aye baby, you need me to drop you off at that waxing place sometime this week?” he’s actually CRYING out for HELP.
This Is Your Conscience
54 Comments, Comment or Ping
lincolnanthonyblades
Ladies & Gentlemen, Is My Friend Overreacting With The Belief That She May In Fact Be Losing Her Lustre For Him, Or Does He Actually Have A Valid Point That Her Lack Of Upkeep Is A Sign She Is Losing Interest In Being With HIm Physically?
Jan 26th, 2012
S_S
LMFAO @ This entire post Linc!!! I would have to say I agree with your theory 100% …when things are new and hot, the nani stays lined up, waxed, shaved, naired- WHATEVER! But as time goes on it becomes harder to maintain. Now the difference between whether I begrudgingly went to the parlor anyway or whether I said "fuck this nigga, he can deal with it as is" depended on how happy I was with the relationship at the time. Note: If its so bad you can't see the goods, homegirl you need to go sort out your life.
P.S. How many ladies have prevented themselves (or tried to) from having relations with a new dude too soon by not shaving/waxing?? LOL…its a good technique
P.P.S. Men, we feel the same way…please handle the man-scaping before we come over.
Jan 26th, 2012
@ChloeRayne516
LOL at your entire comment while Hi-fiving.______To answer your 1st question…… *chuckle* I use that technique, and you right it does work!!! If kitty is looking like she is lost in the jungle behind the trees and shrubs — my legs WILL STAY CLOSED!!
Jan 26th, 2012
imakesense
smh
Jan 26th, 2012
Miahlove
Feels like I just walked into a high school boys locker room lmao!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry Linc, but I think your boy needs to grow the hell up, and ask his girl directly why she hasn't been keeping her couchie well groomed. Maybe she's suffering from razor bumps, or simply boycotting the wax or razor in protest against his hairy balls (if applicable) LOL;)
Jan 26th, 2012
@ChloeRayne516
Me personally, NOW…. when I let kittybox run amuck it usually means I am shutting down shop FOR WHATEVER REASON. When I was married, not so much, sometimes I waxed sometimes I didn't feel like it because I knew hubby was going in REGARDLESS, so as far as your boy Linc he can be a little overreacting, it may not necessarily mean she is losing interest in him or his richard, she may just hit that comfort level with him in their relationship whereas she feels she can let kittybox run free from to time without scrutiny.
WAXING IS WORK!!!
Jan 26th, 2012
krystllyght
Hey it's winter time! Has it occured to him that she just took the season off? A lot of women do that.
Jan 26th, 2012
@craziijnell
GIRL…… tell em.
Jan 26th, 2012
@craziijnell
Look, it's true "waxing is work". It hurts, it's expensive, and while it makes us lusty as hell afterwards, it is a job to keep it up. There's a chance she just waxed to impress him in the early stages for their relationship and then became more comfortable gradually. Freaking men do this all the time with their general upkeep. But if a sista wants to grow some locs there, it's because she doesn't love him or losing interest? Nah, B. It's definitely winter and sometimes vaginas need breaks from being pulled and torn.
Jan 26th, 2012
NurseJilly
LMAO @ "her sh*t looks like the forest they filmed Blair Witch in"
Hell I would fall out of love with myself too. I like to be lined up all year long thats why a few years ago I did laser hair removal. Never have to worry about it again:)
Jan 26th, 2012
Vicky
Agreed! I think it's more of a comfort factor than a loss of interest
Jan 26th, 2012
@Itsreallytee
LMAO this whole post is too much LOL
Linc your boy is taking it too far. I think its def bec she is either comfortable or its winter so she's chilling
Either way I think he should say something instead of stressing. It can't be kept in TOP TOP shape 24/7, 365 she's gonna need a break sometimes
Jan 26th, 2012
Jason
Naw, has nothing to do with losing love for him… chick is just comfortable. Damn chick I got makes me feel like I’m lying next to “George the Animal Steel” because she does her legs for instance when she gets a chance, the rest I won't discuss… and I know she loves me. The nerve of her as she is alwasy telling me I need to get a haircut/shave because I am getting to comfortable and looking a little to shabby, lol.
Jan 26th, 2012
Sidney
btw…love your picture
Jan 26th, 2012
@Itsreallytee
@ Sidney thanks. Its not me btw I just love it
Jan 26th, 2012
The_Mad_HATER
yall women know you love the hair!!
Jan 26th, 2012
The_Mad_HATER
why you gotta do that to a brotha doe???!!!
Jan 26th, 2012
The_Mad_HATER
but why dont she just stop being passive aggressive???
Jan 26th, 2012
The_Mad_HATER
but it was the same amount of work at the start of the relationship and she still did it then so why aint she doing it now???
Jan 26th, 2012
The_Mad_HATER
thats too damn comfortable!!! what if he stopped washing his balls for weeks because he was comfortable with being frowsy???
Jan 26th, 2012
The_Mad_HATER
thats what single women are suppose to do not ones in a relationship!!!
Jan 26th, 2012
Vicky
that's unhygienic!
Jan 26th, 2012
krystllyght
What? Ya'll gonna boycott the twat?
Jan 26th, 2012
The_Mad_HATER
so then just give it a low fade!!! why it gotta be big foot doe????
Jan 26th, 2012
The_Mad_HATER
props to you!!!
Jan 26th, 2012
The_Mad_HATER
what if she got lady of rages afro puffs down there doe?? thats doing too much!!
Jan 26th, 2012
The_Mad_HATER
maybe she just bringing the 70s back?!!!
Jan 26th, 2012
The_Mad_HATER
hair carries odor!!!!
Jan 26th, 2012
The_Mad_HATER
as long as you dont gotta a moustache ill take the head!!!
Jan 26th, 2012
Vicky
If you don't take care of your sh*t, with or without hair, there will be an odor!
Jan 26th, 2012
krystllyght
If my hair bothers you don't think I'm gonna do you that favor.
Jan 26th, 2012
Paul B.
Is it right when men do it? Judging by the complaints women make about it, I'd say no. So if it's been established that it's wrong and unpleasant to be that way, why go back and do it? This goes for men and women.
Jan 26th, 2012
The_Mad_HATER
exactly!!! so we both should stay fresh!!
Jan 26th, 2012
The_Mad_HATER
why are you being so negative???
Jan 26th, 2012
The_Mad_HATER
exactly!!!
Jan 26th, 2012
krystllyght
My bad wasn't trying to be negative but if I feel like I've repulsed you with my pubes, I'm not going feel up to slobbing the knob and why would you want me to?
Jan 26th, 2012
The_Mad_HATER
men and women should both shave is my point!! Im assuming dude in the story keeps fresh and clean so why cant she??
Jan 26th, 2012
MzDebbieFields
SMH!
Jan 26th, 2012
krystllyght
I think dudes could edge it up and keep it combed but don't shave it off.
Jan 26th, 2012
@craziijnell
Meh, we can complain… but dudes aren't rushing to wax their balls. So why should we rush? Why should we even entertain the rush to wax tear and pull.
Bro, the shit hurts.
Jan 26th, 2012
@craziijnell
Call me lazy.
Jan 26th, 2012
@craziijnell
MAN! When I'm comfortable…. I have to really work on not having stubbly legs… and pits. I'll admit it.
The internet is anonymous right?
Jan 26th, 2012
@Itsreallytee
I totally agree its the same or even harder lol
…man i guess ladies get comfy too and we snap at men (they still deserve it)
Jan 26th, 2012
@Itsreallytee
LOL LOL if u gotta take a weed wacker to it….its too much
Jan 26th, 2012
@Itsreallytee
EXACTLY
we gonna do it, just not rushing the more comfy we are
Jan 26th, 2012
MzDebbieFields
I'm a female who believes all males should manscape!!
Jan 27th, 2012
lincolnanthonyblades
I Couldn't Imagine Getting A Man-Brazilian! LoL
Jan 27th, 2012
lincolnanthonyblades
I'm Sayin…
Jan 27th, 2012
lincolnanthonyblades
How Should He Address It Tho??
Waxing Sounds Like It's Pain!
Jan 27th, 2012
lincolnanthonyblades
Though Your Comment Is True…It's Highly Disturbing
Jan 27th, 2012
lincolnanthonyblades
Does Laser Removal Hurt??
Jan 27th, 2012
NurseJilly
Ya, I can't lie it hurts but not much more than a Brazilian
Jan 27th, 2012
Paul B.
Well, i'm not expecting her to wax her stuff, but I'll be doggone if she ain't going to trim it. If I'm in that situation and she wants me to trim some stuff so she can be more comfortable and hopefully do a better job at it, then why not do it? That would be selfish as all get out to not do it. And I expect the same from her. I don't know what kind of rhythm you can get into if you gotta stop every few seconds, and I'm not trying to have her cat hairs get tangled up in my mustache. lol
Jan 28th, 2012
S_S
Just a clean up/low fade, men don't need to be bald eagles lol
Jan 28th, 2012
Reply to “Ladies, DId You Know Your HAIRY NANI Makes Your Man Think You Fell Out Of Love?”