The Tupperware Theory: Why Good People Are Left On “The Shelf” [By: Susan Jordan]

Earlier this year, my girlfriend and I went to breakfast and discussed the issues we have encountered on the dating scene and have heard from various different individuals alike. As we ate our omelets, we couldn’t help but hash about how people love to put others on the backburner. Pretty much, just taking someone for granted and hoping that they will always become readily available. We call this philosophy “The Tupperware Theory”.

It’s when someone knows they have a good woman or man, but apparently “isn’t ready” to pursue anything serious with this person “right now”, so instead, they want to put this person in safe keeping until they are ready for them. Kinda like when you just came home from having an awesome meal at a restaurant from which you are super- duper stuffed, to be welcomed by one of your friends, your significant other, mother, roomie, etc; who has fixed an amazing meal for you but you are just too full to eat it. So you wrap it up and place it in the fridge, hoping it stays fresh for when you are ready to devour it.

Well, I do feel that this pertains to those who like to shelve people like they are canned goods. The only problem is there is always a reaction to an action. What happens when you put food in a Tupperware and don’t eat it right away? It goes bad!!! You put that once amazing meal into a cheap container, dash it away in the fridge and now you forgot about it. As the days pass, you proceed to get distracted by all the other yummy, fresh options of food that that been offered or cooked since than. Before you know it, this once gourmet meal has now turned into a mess of rotting, inedible, indigestible food that you can no longer enjoy.

Newsflash!!! People are the same way!!! The longer you put someone on a shelf, the closer you are to having that relationship expired. Just like when you open that rotting dish and say “Crap! I should have eaten this sooner”, will also be the day you realize that your shelved person is no longer accessible for when you are good and ready. Heck, even frozen dinners have their issues. The quality of food is usually poor and can even be susceptible to freezer-burn. Much like that cold shoulder you get once someone you’ve put away for too long greets you icily.

But here’s some words I’ll leave with to all my hot dished and dismissed people… If the person who’s put you on ice, doesn’t ever have any regrets about losing their 5-star meal…than you are better off. They probably have poor taste in great cuisine. I, for one, know that I’m not a frozen dinner. Better get me while I’m still hot. Heck, or even while I’m still an option on the menu.

[ed. note: check Susan out at]

When Lincoln Anthony Blades is not writing for his controversial and critically acclaimed blog, he can be found contributing articles for Uptown Magazine. Lincoln wrote the hilarious and insightful book "You're Not A Victim, You're A Volunteer: How To Stop Letting Love Kick Your Ass". He is also a public speaker who has sat on panels all over North America and the Caribbean.