[Ed. note] Ladies and gentlemen, this post is what I call a “Change-up.” Typically I write a blog on a topic and you all read and maybe respond, but I love the idea of having different voices express their thoughts on various subject matters, and well, I don’t think we have ANYONE who comments or reads this site with a more unique perspective on things than the one and only grandgryph. Get your questions ready, and brace yourself for some very INTERESTING answers. - Linkz
i ask you, dear devoted readers of tiyc, what is in name?
among my brothers geach, appiah and habermas i’m called “son of light” or “the sayer of sooth”. i was oprah’s first – and only true – love. she called me “gayle”. in the shadow ottoman court, while suleyman was in the rough country mediating the grisly 1989 internecine conflict (which the caliphate could never prove that I instigated), i was elected “interim sultan” by the three score concubines and twelve wives suleyman kept on the abdulmecid compound. they called me “الحلو ديك “ or “he who’s ejaculate is perfume most exquisite”. fighting in the namibian war as a commander in castro’s elite guard, i was called “fuma puros todos nuestros” or “great warrior who leaves singed corpses in his wake”.
and, after 11 months as chief loan officer at the rbc in grand cayman, a team of crown attorneys called me “defendant”.
what’s in a name? now, at least a couple hundred hours…give or take a couple hundred hours.
so when everyone’s favourite bespeckled soundrel: one mr. lincoln anthony blades, esq., approached me saying, “gryph, you’re like the only pre-renaissance, renaissance man in this overly stush city, bro. how about writing for tiyc? regular doses of your unfailing wisdom would de-frowsify plenty people and have hopelessly ignorant douches walking the earth with their heads forever bowed in shame. write for tiyc. think of the glory, gryph!”
at first i was like “yeah, yeah”, but then I was like…”nah.”
why?
no reason at all. that’s just how a man like me stays.
but, then when good ol’ linc sent over to casa del gryph a rich, chocolaty shot of “imakesense” chased by a chilly – yet refreshing – “krystllight” to er “impress upon me just how valued my contribution to tiyc would be”, after several hours of rough-and-tumble “impressing”, I was like…“nah”.
as agile and lush as those two fine specimens were – there was no way i could have them succeed where vanity and turanga leela had failed. freedom nephews. freedom. it is all.
linc, then insinuated that he’d share with great great granny gryph – the 148 year old grande dame of six cross roads st. phillips barbados, who vowed my disinheritance should she catch wind of yet another scandal – the video of my wasting great-great grandchildren all over those two curvy, but common wenches, i was all like “yeah sure, linc, ha…why the f*^k not. anything for a fellow baje, ha ha ha”… the guileful knave.
now, faithful readers of tiyc, it will be your pleasure to call me “uncle gryph”. and, let’s make the best of it, yeah?
as you might have gathered, your uncle gryph has seen it all, done it all, and all won it all. twice.
and sure, you hard-done-by-life types could spend stacks on professional therapy and the kinds drugs not procured from “i-gor”, the lithuanian meth-head/trustafarian down the street, but why not just ask your uncle gryph.
hmm? yes.
do that. because not only do i really, really care, but i’ve just realized that i don’t have enough bloody problems of my own. so, please, please do hurry and send yours to: askunclegryph@gmail.com.
thanks a bunch.
sealed with love and malice,
your uncle gryph
77 Comments, Comment or Ping
lincolnanthonyblades
Ladies & Gentlemen, Before We Begin Emailing Gryph For The Answers To All Of Life's Problems, Feel Free To Test His Q&A Skills Now And Ask A Question Or Two And Let's See How It Goes…
Feb 13th, 2012
Whahapn
Yo Gryph
Do you think blacks should support the Occupy Movement?
Feb 13th, 2012
Bruhman
Breh,
Should I take back my girl?? I cheated, then she dumped me, and now she says she forgives me…but she won't tell me what she did when we were not together???
Feb 13th, 2012
HerCommonSense
gryph,
I would like you to explain why or why you don't believe in the phrase "the good die young."
Feb 13th, 2012
ATLienSince82
If this nigga says "because I'm still here" I'mma die laughing
Feb 13th, 2012
grandgryph
i think black people should be VERY active citizens. i mean that's what the civil rights movement was about: not just being glad that we can sit next to white folks. however, marches and sit ins are next to useless beyond 'raising awareness'. what does work however are sustained boycotts – that's what started the civil rights movement. it also helped put pressure on apartheid south africa.
the occupy movement seems like a few whiny white kids just trying to have something to make them seem edgy – and get on television. granted, they are changing the discussion a bit, but i don't see a huge benefit in black folks on masse joining them. business still carries on.
a quiet boycott is worth ten loud protests. and the power to boycott gives more power to protests. right now they are just political entertainment with little effect. black citizen should support effective things.
Feb 13th, 2012
grandgryph
LOL.
i do recall us having a few dust ups before bruhman…luckily for you your uncle gryph is a kind and forgiving soul…
yeah man. take her back. i don't that she's planning to punish you at all for you 1) stepping out. women in particular are VERY forgiving and never lay wait someone who they believed have wronged them. i'm sure it'll be all love, lol.
in case my ironic wit is lost on you: TREAD CAREFULLY!!! she likely has an a-bomb that she'll drop on you when you least expect it, or are at your weakest.
hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. bill shakespeare was plenty of things, but he was no fool.
if things were that good with her that you want to risk it, go ahead. but don't come crying to me when she hiroshima's you, bruh. you know the risks.
Feb 13th, 2012
MistaHarsh
hilarious! I'll give it a serious try:
With all the pictures of Beyonce during her pregnancy from the baby "bump" fiasco, her animated dancing at 8mos, The lack of facial changes that a woman goes through during pregnancy, the secrecy during the "birth" of Blue Ivy to Camel face announcing through song that they had problems bringing a child to term, to the overall handling of bringing a new life into this world….do you think that Beyonce was even pregnant or did she have a surrogate?
I'm interested in your take….
Feb 13th, 2012
grandgryph
i believe the phrase some what.
in this existence, 'evil' is just as – if not more necessary than – 'good'. earth is 'evil's' home court. so people are 'too good' are going to attract the wrong kinds of attention, lol.
but, just because a person dies young doesn't mean they were 'good'. people seem to think so. a 'premature' death is especially tragic and so people say cathartic things – and get passes – because everyone's sad. that doesn't mean the person was good.
Feb 13th, 2012
grandgryph
die laughing? how old are you? ha. nice try atl. but i'm not going to help you dupe posterity!
Feb 13th, 2012
grandgryph
ever since she left me in that monaco hotel room with only the two other destiny's childers to try and impregnate beYAWNce's been dead to me, harsh.
but i'll tell you this, you can have a poor indian woman inseminated for like $12 us and a sam's club membership….both b and j just love india, i hear, lol.
the whole thing is ickifying, but as is their whole relationship. first up, we need to get soem things in focus: beyonce's a textbook non-violent psychopath, and shawn's a nervous geek who went street, and never really recovered his marbles despite making millions on millions. these aren't normal well adjusted people by any stretch of the imagination.
starting with that, i think a possibly faked pregnancy, beyonce's 'have the baby and get right back to business' posturing, name the kid BLUE(PRINT) IV and copyrighting the kid's name is only the beginning of the nuttella parade… them two could be the NEW and IMPROVED bobby and whitney, lol.
Feb 13th, 2012
Independent Woman
Such a stupid point.
All races are equally affected by the 1% dominating 95% of the worlds economy. It's ridiculous and pointless to make it about race.
Moron.
Feb 13th, 2012
Independent Woman
LOL.
Women aren't dogs like men!
If he cheated he should find his stupid ass a stupid girl who will put up with that kinda crap
Feb 13th, 2012
Independent Woman
And who judges what's "good"…YOU? LOL!!
Feb 13th, 2012
Independent Woman
It may actually be fun to hear you expose your idiocy all day long.
Feb 13th, 2012
grandgryph
oh looky here, the stupid train is right on time, lol. hey independent whore: http://colorlines.com/archives/2011/10/a_brief_hi...
take that take that take that ***p-diddy voice***, lol.
Feb 13th, 2012
MistaHarsh
LMAO
BLUE(PRINT) IV – good eye, good eye
But absolutely the whole trademark thing it really brings it to a new level of distaste.
@Linc – this might a good segment afterall but it should be kept on this site what's the point in getting private answers from a dude we don't know? Keep it on site so we can be entertained with everyone's Qs and gryph's As.
Feb 13th, 2012
Kam
I think Lincoln touched on this. She owes you no explination on what she did when you guys weren't together you want to know why? BECAUSE YOU WERE NOT TOGETHER! You cheated now you want transparancy buddy she turned the other check so should you.
Feb 13th, 2012
Kam
And Lincoln though I like this addition I would also like some ask Lincoln post and more true life storys.
Feb 13th, 2012
grandgryph
no they are not. they are cats.
dogs do their mess almost anywhere anytime. cats turn cold slink away dig a little hole, pass a giant log, cover up said hole and returning purring and muzzling up, lol.
they both go at similar rates though.
Feb 13th, 2012
grandgryph
that's why they are in quotes, whore. and also why i ascribed a practicality to evil.
fact is, we don't have the scope to really appreciate the scope of our actions' outcomes. we have some vague sense of intention, but no one knows that really either. it does though seem that 'evil' has much more jurisdiction than it should.
but then when ever you post i'm reminded that stupidity too is a major player.
Feb 13th, 2012
grandgryph
thanks for the support. and you know me harsh, i'm part of your conscience.
***cue spooky twilight zone music***
Feb 13th, 2012
grandgryph
end the facade: just say you want my baby.
Feb 13th, 2012
Independent Woman
I stopped reading at "whore" you neanderthal.
Feb 13th, 2012
Independent Woman
Thank you! How hard is it to be smart?! Apparently too difficult for grandgryph!
Feb 13th, 2012
Kizzy
I would want my baby to not be a smarmy E-thug…
Feb 13th, 2012
Independent Woman
Took the words right out of my mouth!
LOL
Feb 13th, 2012
grandgryph
you know kizzy, in france, smarmy is sexy.
so just ask nice 'gryph, voulez-vous couche avec moi?'
no baby, though kiz, i'll let off on your belly and watch you finger paint a gryph mural with my load.
it's a test: if you demonstrate enough visual-spatial intelligence, my next pitch'll be right down the middle. i promise ya, tuts.
i'll book you for sometime around april.
Feb 13th, 2012
Didier
Once a cheater, always a cheater???
Feb 13th, 2012
grandgryph
you stopped reading minutes after learning to read. probably took you 20 years of dogged effort. can't blame you for being tired.
Feb 13th, 2012
grandgryph
by definition, yes. i might go paint a picture. that doesn't make me a painter. just a guy who paints a picture. if i'm a painter, i make a habit of painting pictures – devoted myself to it in fact.
from the time you call a person a 'cheater', cheating – and by that i presume you mean having sexual relations with someone other than the person – or people (ha…yes!) – they've promised sexual 'fidelity' to – then you can bet that person's going to keep doing what they been doing (and getting better at it).
now for a person who fell 'victim to temptation' or had a moment of weakness, you MIGHT hope for reform. but if it happens again, there's a pattern forming. by staying after that, you've basically made that person a non-cheater because you've implicitly co-signed their getting 'extras'.
Feb 13th, 2012
Vicky
Gross, but point made
Feb 13th, 2012
MzDebbieFields
Who gives better head…black girls, white girls, asian girls or spanish girls????
Feb 13th, 2012
Vicky
Race doesn't determine your sexual abilities………………
Feb 13th, 2012
grandgryph
that might be a new personal motto of mine.
Feb 13th, 2012
Vicky
Sorry, copyright infringement! LOL!
Feb 13th, 2012
grandgryph
true, race doesn't matter, but CULTURE does. many black people are brought up with intense stigma about oral pleasure. now, that stigma can be crippling in the developing of sexual talents. stigma, though can also produce EXCELLENCE as a real freaks devour stigma.
i've had my paynus on so many women's mouths that l'oreal was going to make 'jiz de la gryph' shade.
i'm proudly a fellatio snob – and suffer no rooks. teeth scrapes get you an automatic dismissal. using head as an excuse to let the nani recover gets you the side eye.
she has to know that her tongue, lips and hands are crucial. that the head is sometimes sensitive and the balls ought not be neglected. she needs to know to keep a good rhythm but vary the rhythm – and suction – at the right times. she know went to be neat and when to be sloppy. she's put thought and time in. anything less and i can hardly be bothered with.
the best head i got was from a little black girl. a church girl…right after her choir practice. in the church parking lot….yeah.
she'd given me some lazy, i'm doing you a favor head, so i put her to the back of the line. when she made back to the front she was DEADLY – trust i wasn't asking where she was when we were 'broken up' i came harder than an zdeno chara slap shot.
damn whatever happen to that little goddess…damn….
i won–
yeah…baby
uh
uh
shi–
uh
AHHHHHH!!!
yeah…
yeah…
shit…
YEAH
hey sorry y'all, what was this about again?
Feb 13th, 2012
grandgryph
foiled again!!!
Feb 13th, 2012
Vicky
Trip down memory lane made ya derail your train of thoughts I see! LOL!
Where were you? Well, it doesn't matter what you wrote to answer her question, she wouldn't comprehend it anyways!
Feb 13th, 2012
Vicky
it's all yours man! enjoy it
Feb 13th, 2012
Kam
I disagree she didn't blow up the relationship to go and have sex he did. Which resulted in them braking up meaning they hold no obligation to the other person. The only duty of care they hold to each other if they choose to be in relationship again is to let one another know if they have contracted an STD.
As well there was no PAUSE button only STOP. Meaning they STOPPED being in a committed relationship (which he looks like he was well on his way in doing).
Now Lincoln touched on this in forgive and forget post. He needs to move on from what she's not telling him because if he doesn't she has a right to keep bringing up what he did. If they want it work its best to leave the past in the past. Hence turn the other cheek.
Feb 13th, 2012
Kam
Did you not here a the whole fasco with some guy in who tried to creat the label BLUE IVY NYC? This guy wanted to make baby clothing and then present it to Beyonce and Jay. Look you have to understand that child is not a regular baby she has high profile parents and crazy people just like that guy who would like to use her name for commercial gain.
Feb 13th, 2012
MistaHarsh
LOL!
Feb 13th, 2012
MistaHarsh
jay and bey vs Pitt and Jolie. Who's more famous and/powerful is debatable but Branjalina's kids are completely unknown to us for the normal reasons. This Blue Ivy mess is sickening. FYI you can't trademark names like Jason or Charles ever wonder why?
Feb 13th, 2012
grandgryph
right. then when i make my t-shirts and baby clothes you come with ze lawyers! no way! not again!!
Feb 13th, 2012
grandgryph
this is quite true.
Feb 13th, 2012
grandgryph
what answer is going to you try hardest to prove me wrong?
Feb 13th, 2012
grandgryph
we don't know that she didn't use a legitimate reason to serve a discreet end. people do stuff like that all the time.
stepping out, isn't 'blowing up' the relationship. a woman goes on a business trip, finds some man in the hotel lobby they get to smashing. no one's get infected. she goes home next week the signif other, you telling me she's blown up the relationship? people have one offs and whatever with no one finding out and no consequences.
i love it when you contradict yourself in a way that proves my original point. you
admit: there are some instances where what happened while away affects their future together and so is the others' business. an sti might be one of those cases, a pregnancy or child birth might be another, financial ruin, or sleeping with someone in the circle might be another. it not, a simple none of your business.
i was speaking more generally rather than about their situation per se, but when you are with someone for a long time, when things go bad there's always the possibility of reconciliation. so, it is like a pause that gets frozen – or eventually becomes a stop. either way the point is moot because you admitted that there is some obligation to disclose even after a stop.
oh, you can forgive and forget what you don't know…so you went and did it twice. so if you take what you say in your post, there are rights to disclosure. which is what i was saying in the first place, kam.
Feb 13th, 2012
grandgryph
+1
Feb 13th, 2012
Whahapn
@Grandgryph
I understand.
Ok switching to a more playful topic or more important one perhaps, do you think the doom and gloom screed re the state of relations between black men and black women and the "breakdown of the black family", has any truth to it?
Feb 13th, 2012
grandgryph
relationships in general are undergoing some very troubling changes. seems that some black people live in situations and have attitudes that make these changes more pronounced.
some of the stats are pretty misleading too. like 70% of black kids in the us being born out of wed lock. that i think is true, but partly because poor women are less like to get married, and for a number reasons, will have children regardless. usually lots.
the flip side to that is that middle class black women have one – maybe two kids at most. so the 70% number kind of plays on the wrong sorts of assumptions. part of it is distribution of births, not just marriage rates alone.
but black marriage stats in the states do show a sharp decline.
to me, family is a sort of community – or inter-relationship. black people have not made a priority of relating to each other in not just polite but actually sincere and constructive ways, and so that presents lots of problems when we try to make family.
that being said, when i walk though my neighborhood i see black men with their sons, little brother or nephews. you see plenty black families in the park in the summer. and i hear black women having mature sensible conversations with their duaghters.
of course there is plenty f*ckery, but there are plenty good things happening too, and to me that's MORE exciting than the drama and tragedy of pathology reporting that dominates 'the death of the black family' stories. self-fulfilling prophecies, or maybe wishful thinking.
Feb 13th, 2012
Nuu
yeah bitch, *diddy voice* take that, take thaaaaaaat. And um no thats definitely not true. like at all. i know this is off-topic, but the reason black people want reparations (which we'll never get) is because of the slavery footprint. What do i mean by that? I mean the chain-reaction slavery caused to have black people having a hard time. No WE weren't in slavery – we're not arguing that. We're arguing THAT BECAUSE of slavery, we're in this mess. As much as people don't want to admit it, it's true. I would rather live nowhere else (except japan or canada), but black people have it pretty hard in many aspects. Just because people aren't picketicking in public or getting called, "niggers" at college (which actually happens a lot still) as much, things are much more under the surface. So please….umm yeah…*diddy voice* take that take that
Feb 13th, 2012
Kam
What are you talking about which contradictions?
You are rambling on about something completely different and off topic. There was no away. They were not together they were living separate lives you are acting like this girl went on a vacation and came back. They ended their relationship. Unlike you I AM NOT speaking generally I'm addressing the topic at hand.
There is only an obligation to disclose about an STD which every person (unless you want to go to jail) must do for example if you had sex with a person and you had a STD such as AIDS or HIV and did not tell them you can go to jail for attempted murder or attempt to cause bodily harm. Everyone has that obligation/onus. There is no contradiction so you need to clarify.
What were you saying? You are say NOTHING your statement are incoherent rambles. I'm sorry but in order to give advice you need to stay on topic be concise and stop rambling,
Feb 13th, 2012
Kam
MistaHarsh I would of done the same thing as them given the certain circumstances that some sicko who had intentions to use my child's name to create a brand then "present" it to me. That means he had an intention to use my child for profit. How many kids are named Blue Ivy compared to Charles and Jason those names are very common.
Feb 13th, 2012
Whahapn
@Grandgryph
"to me, family is a sort of community – or inter-relationship. black people have not made a priority of relating to each other in not just polite but actually sincere and constructive ways, and so that presents lots of problems when we try to make family."
Could you say more here, with examples of what you mean and how it plays into the problems we have forming stable (I'm assuming) families?
"that being said, when i walk though my neighborhood i see black men with their sons, little brother or nephews. you see plenty black families in the park in the summer. and i hear black women having mature sensible conversations with their duaghters."
yeh that's my experience too, but if the internet was your only means to study relations among blacks, you'd probably come away with impression that blacks don't like each other very much.
Absolute warfare seems to attend the staple themes of discussion in black enclaves of the internet; dating, skin tonism, and classism.
Does the discussion fodder we're fed bring out the loons or are we seeing a true reflection of what is a real intolerence for one another, that can be aired from the safe anonymity of the internet?
Or do you percieve some other design in the conflicts we see unfolding in black cyberspace?
Feb 13th, 2012
Kam
Also I have never heard of a situation where brad and angie's children's names were being used for commerical profit. This make be a unique case and Bey and Jay took extreme percautions.
Feb 13th, 2012
Kam
may *
Feb 13th, 2012
Paul B.
LMBO!!!
Feb 13th, 2012
grandgryph
if you're dating somebody and it is not working out, don't try to use or otherwise hurt that person. they will have a life after you. and, no matter what, they take that into the next situation. then, it multiples. sort of like a socio-emotional infection. that makes it harder for people to trust and build with each other after those kinds of wounds. it is very destructive.
well there's plenty of hostility and antagonisms in real life too. just that the other sides – the concern, the kindness, the complexity – don't get as much attention. as for the net, those are the topics that get the hits, and so that's what gets spread.
it brings out the loons. it also brings out people to be pretending to be who they are not. men post as women, blacks posts as asian, it is all sort of things going on here.
what i like about the anonymity of the net is that you really have to look at the substance. what's the argument? how is it supported? is it rooted in history?
in most real `debates' people respond to or try to use advantages that aren't evidenced-based. or are influenced by appearance and body cues. so while there's a lot of interference from screaming idiots, the potential for evidence-based exchanges and argumentative accountability on the 'net is very high.
i'm pretty sure that a lot of the stuff we see on the net is the work of paid – or otherwise incented – propagandists: http://colorlines.com/archives/2012/01/why_the_is...
disrupting, diverting and steering the natives is a colonial tactic so old and entrenched that to not think that some of this stuff comes from that tradition is a bit careless.
that being said, i don't know that it is something to focus exclusively on, just know that it is part of the terrain and keep the discussion crisp and focused.
Feb 13th, 2012
grandgryph
you said there was no obligation for her to disclose anything. then you said that there is an obligation (i.e. sti). that's a contradiction.
now if you make that concession, there are of course others. why? because people don't generally base a future together on the strict interpretation of the law, but upon the couples future intentions and what is good for the other person.
now if i'm involved with a woman. we stop. i go and breed of three other women in a four week period – and one of them is her cousin. then we get back together. isn't the fact that i have three kids on the way HER business?
what if i declared bankruptcy or co-sign a loan for a shiftless family member? not her BUSINESS?
of course it is.
now my point with the woman on the business trip is that having sex with someone other than you partner isn't necessarily the same as blowing up the relationship. you said: 'I disagree she didn't blow up the relationship to go and have sex he did.'
Feb 13th, 2012
grandgryph
hmm…i think i agree with this, lol.
Feb 13th, 2012
MistaHarsh
But here's the thing if j and b are sooo protective of there child/investment why all the publicity around it then (the announcement at the awards, all the interviews, outings)? It wasn't too long ago where they wouldn't even acknowledge that they were married these guys were REALLY PRIVATE. Now they're rivaling Kim and Kris. All I'm saying is if your child's identity is that important you keep it private not publicize it and then trademark the name. Kind of odd. Even MJ had enough sense to cover up his kids faces instead of running to the court to trademark Blanket…
Feb 13th, 2012
imakesense
Hi Grandgryph,
Is it possible to act Black?
Should I relax my hair for a new look or cut it?
Is mzdebbiefields a night riding slew?
Mlk or malcolm x?
Bb or iPhone?
What's your idea of a perfect date?
Looking forward to your responses,
-imakesense:)
Feb 13th, 2012
Kam
There a two types of disclosure one you must do which is mandatory under the law (which will send you to prison if you don't like saying you have an STD) and one that is none of anyone's business. If you got those two mixed up I don't know how to make it more simpler for you to understand.
Your example is outlandish. And regardless who you went out there and had sex with you we're not with that individual at the time so still no obligation to disclose.
what if i declared bankruptcy or co-sign a loan for a shiftless family member? not her BUSINESS?
When did they decide to combine their fiancees? That obligation to know what's in your bank account is only when you two are going to become married, joint business venture, you borrowed money from her or in some way decided to combine their bank accounts. Until then no, there is no need to disclose.
"now my point with the woman on the business trip is that having sex with someone other than you partner isn't necessarily the same as blowing up the relationship. you said: 'I disagree she didn't blow up the relationship to go and have sex he did."
I was not making a reference to any women on a business trip ….that's your rambling on with an explanation that has nothing to do with this topic. I was taking about the line below
it's when one person in the relationship wants to f*ck someone else, so they blow the current relationship up.
I said I disagree she never wanted to f*ck anyone else he wanted to and ended up cheating hence HE "blew the relationship up to go fuck someone else".
Feb 14th, 2012
grandgryph
love relationships go beyond strict legalities. an sti is one thing that might affect the other person, it is not the ONLY thing. it is always wise to know your legal rights and obligations, but to limit the discussion to legalities is a gesture of bad faith, imo.
even if they don't decide to combine finances, a bad financial situation can affect the relationship going forward; as might sleeping with someone in the same social circle – or who might be. if you actually care about the person and are driven by something other than 'duty', then they should know about those extra-legal things.
right. and i was showing how extra sex doesn't necessarily blow up a relationship. roughly 16% of people currently in long-term relationships ADMIT TO PEOPLE CONDUCTING TELEPHONE SURVEYS to having sex with someone other than their partner.
also, 'cheating' doesn't end a relationship: the other person's reaction does. the way people respond to news of the others infidelity isn't automatic, but weighed against a number of factors. many people because of circumstances, insecurity or duty choose to stay.
others are more strategic. they use it as a 'pause', and stage it as 'stop' so when they leave, they leave guilt and accountability free. and, when they return they have 1) moral high ground and 2) a bunch of aces/a-bombs up his/her sleeve.
i was was just telling bruh to look out for that possibility.
Feb 14th, 2012
grandgryph
i know what you are trying to do, sense. though i do love it when you try, you ought to know by now that you can't wear me out.
1. identity is always a performance.
2. you'd be a sexy dread. i think you can get away with a low cut too…bun a perm.
3. i don't slew and tell.
4. dessalines
5. is this an incomplete question? you mean which is first to be crushed by android, right?
6. i'm a bit of a traditional guy. maybe a candle-lit dinner. easy refreshing conversation splashed with some good wine. we can do the movie thing but i like to be active. maybe miniture golf, go-carting or laser tag. i don't like to kiss on the first date, unless you call my wing brushing her cervix 'a kiss'. like i said. a traditional guy.
Feb 14th, 2012
Kam
If they are not in a committed relationship at the time she owes him no moral duty to disclose anything just a legal one which I already stated. Who cares if she had sex in the circle were they together she was single and free to do as she pleased.
i was showing how extra sex doesn't necessarily blow up a relationship. roughly 16% of people currently in long-term relationships ADMIT TO PEOPLE CONDUCTING TELEPHONE SURVEYS to having
sex with someone other than their partner.
I don't even know why I'm addressing this but there is a couple of things wrong with this stat
1. you don't know if these people have admitted to their partner they have been unfaithful
2. You do not know if the individual who answered the survey is an open relationship
Cheating doesn't end the relationship. If that is the catalyst to a persons negative behaviour yes it is.
She did not hit the pause button or stop his actions did. I agree with one thing the possibilities they are endless considering she's going back to a cheater.
Feb 14th, 2012
Kam
"Cheating doesn't end the relationship"
If that is the catalyst to a persons negative behaviour yes it does.***
Feb 14th, 2012
Whahapn
aye Gryph
always very enlightening and rivetting to read your opinions.
Any book recommendations (non-fiction) on the topics of race culture and politics in the African Diaspora?
1 or 2 to start with, nothing too heavy, I'm talking lay man level.
And are you going to write any more blogs?
I say keep it up, there aren't not enough good voices out there.
Feb 14th, 2012
grandgryph
there's so much stuff. i can hardly let myself go to the library because i won't want to leave, lol.
a writer who mixes scholarship and accessibility pretty well is jelani cobb, this book covers a lot of ground 'http://jelanicobb.com/content/view/13/29/' as does the harold cruse reader.
michael veal's 'fela' a great book for history and culture. http://books.google.ca/books?id=c4DWJLgGarsC&...
maryse conde's 'segu' is a historical fiction, but very well researched. http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/550571.Segu i preferred it to lawrence hill's `book of negroes.'
toni morrison's writings on race are beyond compare – but pretty dense. walter rodney is a must in my opinion but also pretty `heavy'. it is worth looking up runoko rashidi, too, but be cautious and double check facts.
i'm working on a couple more blogs – am aiming for at least two a month. thanks so much for the dialogue and encouragement!
Feb 14th, 2012
@craziijnell
I'm shocked at the term "take her back"….. She's taking YOU back, you, based on fear or whatever, are deciding whether you want "back in". Not the other way around.
Feb 14th, 2012
@craziijnell
agreed.
Feb 14th, 2012
imakesense
DREADS? wooah interesting
Thank you for your input…
B.T.W. Android sucks!!!
Feb 14th, 2012
Dante Powell
I'm in a long distance relationship, so generally any occasion is a "special" one. However, when she doesn't know I'm coming, and we have some spontaneity to things, that excitement goes a long way!
Feb 15th, 2012
Dante Powell
Wrong post, sorry.
Feb 15th, 2012
grandgryph
oh we know when you're reaching, dante. notice i'm never there when you show up? lol.
Feb 15th, 2012
Law and Order
Hot body, unattractive horse face vs gorgeous face, out of shape dumpy body. If you had to choose, which be more appealing?
Also, do you think that Iran faces imminent attack from Isreal? Should the world be worried? Or is this just more propaganda?
Feb 16th, 2012
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