“Men Don’t HEAL, We HOE”

F*^K a groundhog, if you want to TRULY know how fast spring is gonna be here, just take a look at how many relationships around you are quickly crumbling. THAT is the true sign of how long/short winter is gonna be. But I digress, as I start to see relationships all around me end in spectacular fashion, I’m also noticing one of the more consistent themes of the post-relationship war is how women NEGATIVELY view men’s newly-single coping techniques. There is ONE thing that women seem to NOT understand about men: We don’t HEAL – we HOE.

That brilliant sentiment is the title of a book written by Steven James Dixon, and he’s RIGHT on point with that reality. The truth is, men don’t fully know how to deal with the end of a relationship while women mourn the end of love with a disorganized grace that we as men can truly learn from. Women will go from rage to remorse to regret to reconsidering to rebounding and then eventually to recovering, all with the help of their homegirls, French Vanilla ice cream and Mary J. Blige albums. But mostly women allow themselves to publicly and privately run a FULL gamut of emotions to get it all out and move on. But us men, well, not so much.

Whether it’s society’s external pressure or our own internal constraints, us men simply do NOT allow ourselves to embrace our emotions the way women do regardless of how cathartic it could actually be. We still abide by the old school ideology that real men don’t cry [especially not over some “b*tch”] which makes us act aloof and unemotional towards her. But mostly because we simply don’t wanna look like this:

So what do we do instead? We H0E. We believe the best way to get OVER our old girl is to get UNDER a NEW girl and for the most part that is complete BULLSH*T. No matter how MUCH nani we get, no matter how GREAT it is and no matter how MUCH she can deep throat and swallow, there’s no amount of sexual gratification in new p*ssy that can fill the emotional void inside of us after losing a woman we love. No doubt it helps build our confidence back and helps ingratiate us back into the dating scene and how to be single again, but it offers NO long term solution to the pain we are going through [which unemotional and BAD sex makes terribly obvious].

So ladies, this is the REALITY of why your new-ex boyfriend/husband is running all up in some new chick just after you guys break up. Also, this is why your new man may even be talking to you in the first place. He’s not ready to be with anyone, but he believes YOUR nani is the first giant step towards emotional recovery. He may look happy [and a few of them may actually be] but no amount of hoeing is gonna help him, so you may want to avoid being this dude’s rebound and avoid giving a damn about how your ex chooses to rebound.

The MANLY rebound..

This Is Your Conscience

When Lincoln Anthony Blades is not writing for his controversial and critically acclaimed blog ThisIsYourConscience.com, he can be found contributing articles for Uptown Magazine. Lincoln wrote the hilarious and insightful book "You're Not A Victim, You're A Volunteer: How To Stop Letting Love Kick Your Ass". He is also a public speaker who has sat on panels all over North America and the Caribbean.