Amazing Foreplay 101: How To Master The Pre-Sex Massage

The pre-sex massage is definitely one of the most misused and under-utilized foreplay tactics. It’s rarely used because most people believe traditional foreplay is the best or only way to go and when it IS used it’s typically not done correctly because the massager doesn’t know how to correctly balance the benefits of a real massage with the sexiness of an erotic massage. Let’s be honest, more times the dude will rub her back twice, grip her shoulder twice and cup her bum once and in a flash he’s trying to put it in, which is NOT cool if you want to do the pre-sex massage PROPERLY.

So ladies and gentlemen, here are some steps on how to give a PROPER Pre-Sex Massage. Ladies pay attention, so you can help your man get it right:


Once you are both in the bedroom it is the man’s JOB to take off ALL the woman’s clothes at a slow and calculated pace. No ripping her clothes off or clawing at that complicated bra-latch. He has to set a warm, serene and sexy atmosphere so aggression does NOT need to be shown now. Once both are naked, a soft-sexy kiss should be applied to her lips, but restraint should be shown to the rest of her body. She’s gonna get it long, hard and deep – but not yet.


Hopefully the couples bedroom has an ensuite so he can lead her into the shower. The shower shouldn’t be scalding, but it definitely should be hot with a strong flow. Basically the shower head should be starting the massage for him right now. Her only job is to hold the shower walls and let the hot water flow all over her while he soaps, lathers and simultaneously massages her entire body with a sexy-smelling body wash. Then he should lead her out of the shower and dry her off.


Humans have 5 senses [touch, taste, smell, sight and hearing] and a GREAT massage appeals to every one of them, not just touch. He should know what her favourite mood music is, and this is the time he should put that knowledge to work to find a song that will perfectly capture the mood, like:

[If he plays ANY Lil Wayne or Nicki Minaj at this point he deserves to get pushed in the back down a flight of metal stairs]


At this point she should be laying on her stomach with a towel covering her ass and lower back taking in the music, and this is the time he should be burning some incense or scented candles depending on what SHE likes and what scent SHE finds sexy. It should not be so much that it overpowers both of your natural smell, but it should be enough to transform the room from it’s normal everyday odour to something unique and special because y’all are about to really do it different tonight and the scent should take her away mentally.


Once he has selected the proper oil for the occasion, it is now officially time to start. The first thing he wants to establish is the firmness of touch her will be massaging her with. Consistency is key and comfortability is tantamount. He should gently massage behind her ears, her neck, shoulders and upper back. Calculated force is important as well as making sure every now and then his lips trace her collar bone and the middle of her back. His firm hands and non-chapped lips should make her quiver as a combination as she has NO CLUE when each will touch her. When he gets to her lower back, he should completely skip over her ass and go right to her upper thighs to tease her a little. He should graze her ass every now and then almost like it was a mistake, to make her want more [since women LOVE ass-massages]. He should massage her calves and her feet, then back to her calves, upper thighs and then FINALLY her ass. He then slowly takes the towel completely off of her and massages her ass similar to palming a basketball with both of his thumbs occasionally slipping between her thighs and slowly running over her nani, which at this point will probably be very wet.


Once you flip her over, most women will be content with the massage and she’ll be ready to smash, but this is where the eroticism comes in, because now she’s about to get intensely pleasured and teased at the same time. The first thing you want to do once she is lying on her back is to feed her A LITTLE of whatever ‘sexy food’ really turns her on. And NO people I don’t mean oxtail or grits, but I mean something like chocolate-covered strawberries or a caramel brownie. Feed it to her slowly while she lays there with her eyes closed – and then get back to massaging her. At this point every thing he does will be making her increasingly wet because she will be able to see EVERYTHING, from his strong hands, to his oiled-down muscles, right to his hard richard. He then should massage her neck, shoulders and leave kisses everywhere he touches, but this time more intentional with a lot more tongue to make her moan and squirm. Although she is NOT ALLOWED to rub or touch his richard yet, he should be taking full advantage of massaging every inch of both breasts. and finishing it off with his tongue circling her nipples. Next he should work his way down to her nani by opening her thighs and spreading her legs apart. He should bend forward and kiss her all over her neck while the head of his richard presses against her clit and almost inside of her – then stop. Lean back and keep her legs spread and massage her feet.

Now at this point, it’s safe to say she may RAPE him because she’s so damned turned on and tired of being teased. If she has any restraint left, this is where the dude starts the actual foreplay, however he wants to do it. Ladies, I hope you take note of this because as much as you may want to forward this blog to dudes you know, it’s important for YOU to know that your man DESERVES a pre-sex massage every once in a while too.

This Is Your Conscience

When Lincoln Anthony Blades is not writing for his controversial and critically acclaimed blog, he can be found contributing articles for Uptown Magazine. Lincoln wrote the hilarious and insightful book "You're Not A Victim, You're A Volunteer: How To Stop Letting Love Kick Your Ass". He is also a public speaker who has sat on panels all over North America and the Caribbean.


  1. lincolnanthonyblades

    03/02/2012 at 6:47 AM

    Ladies & Gentlemen, Have You Ever Given Or Received A PROPER Pre-Sex Massage?

    [This Is One Piece You Actually May Want To E-mail, FB Or Tweet Because We ALL Could Use Some Of This In Our Lives]

  2. @_Antoooo

    03/02/2012 at 7:21 AM

    "And NO people I don’t mean oxtail or grits, but I mean something like chocolate-covered strawberries or a caramel brownie." loooool, its funny u had to even say that lool

    but wooooo, it is too early in the morning for me to reading this lol..I've receive pre-sex massages but not one like THIS! The amount of thoughts that just ran thru my mind *bookmarks*

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      03/02/2012 at 11:05 AM

      Trust Me This Massage Is The TRUTH…This Is The Massage That Leads To Hot Sweaty Sex And Then A Nice Long SLEEP

  3. MeikaC

    03/02/2012 at 8:36 AM

    Excellent! I think a Part II of this post should be in order. We deserve to have an instruction manual as well :)

    • NurseJilly

      03/02/2012 at 8:43 AM


    • lincolnanthonyblades

      03/02/2012 at 11:05 AM

      Wait Ladies, You Don't Know How To Give A Pre-Sex Massage To A Man??!

      • MeikaC

        03/02/2012 at 12:10 PM

        Whoa! Calm down there Linc! We didn't say all of that. Why you tying to put us out there like that? :) we are simply asking for equal distribution of advice and tips, that's all. I'm pretty sure the men already knew what to do, but you've just showed them how to do it better. We know what to do, just seeking tips to do it better.

        • lincolnanthonyblades

          03/03/2012 at 1:58 PM

          I Think I Can Provide A Few..

    • MzDebbieFields

      03/02/2012 at 3:05 PM

      I think we should start listing good ideas right now!

      I think most men would love a long oiled up hand job followed by some deep throat action…I don't know how much they would appreciate the actual massage! lol

      • lincolnanthonyblades

        03/03/2012 at 1:49 PM

        Actually That's NOT A Bad Idea..

  4. NurseJilly

    03/02/2012 at 8:44 AM

    WOW…# fans self

    It's posts like this that make me say FML for being single…. lol

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      03/02/2012 at 11:06 AM

      Better Bookmark For The Day You're Off The Market!

    • MissGrey99

      03/02/2012 at 3:16 PM

      100% agree…this is when I'm not ok with being single! Lol

  5. Piscean

    03/02/2012 at 9:12 AM

    I studied massage therapy briefly and have used my tactics on some men in the past. I've only had two great massages by two different men and they were rare, but I'm thankful I got them. I think it depends on how much of a giver the person is. I'm a Pisces and we are naturally giving people so pleasing my man is like second nature to me. But I do hear from many girlfriends that their men are too lazy to give them or when they do, they offer a crap job so she won't ask again. I also know lots of men who won't offer or even if I asked for one, they don't do it.

    I haven't had it as dramatic as you explained it (with food and all)and it would be great if some men would take this advice and not be so lazy. Putting in effort in the bedroom comes with so many rewards from a deserving female…it would be best to take Linc's advice. If I got a massage like this…You betta believe I'd be doing it up like Destiny's Child in "cater 2 u".

  6. ChloeRayne516

    03/02/2012 at 11:07 AM


    Okay after step 5……….. I'm Ready, no need for any further steps.

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      03/02/2012 at 11:08 AM


      Let The Man Finish Chloe!

  7. Concrete_Rose

    03/02/2012 at 11:09 AM

    Lmaooo at the oxtail ….but dang Lincoln, I'm curious to know your other tricks!

    (practices deep breathing) I def have to send this post in an email

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      03/02/2012 at 1:26 PM

      HA! I Can't Reveal Them All To The Public…Hell I Didn't Even Reveal All My Massage Tricks In This Post…But My Woman Will Get To Feel First Hand Tho

    • Jazzy_jay8

      03/02/2012 at 2:32 PM

      Hahaha, you're a trip! I had an entire lunch conversation after this email! lol.
      And to Mr. Blades- you just got a new addition to your fan club. Lol…when i get home I will continue reading some of these blogs.

      • MissGrey99

        03/02/2012 at 3:13 PM

        Make that 2. I shivered and quivered. :( been too long.

        • lincolnanthonyblades

          03/03/2012 at 1:51 PM

          What's The Hold up?!

      • lincolnanthonyblades

        03/03/2012 at 1:50 PM

        Thanks For Reading Jazzy…Hopefully You Can Put This Post To Good Use

    • ATLienSince82

      03/02/2012 at 3:45 PM

      *In DMX voice*

      Yawl gon make me lose my mind, up in here, up in here

      • NurseJilly

        03/03/2012 at 8:34 AM

        Loved that comment. So funny!!

  8. mmmj

    03/02/2012 at 12:36 PM


    well got'dayum. maxwell is still playing too. ::opens goodie drawer::
    this is definitely one to save for a relationship. GAH.

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      03/02/2012 at 1:25 PM

      Maxwell Songs Always Seem To Do The Trick

  9. ohsosexyshanea

    03/02/2012 at 12:47 PM

    Let the church say Amen… I'm gonna work this out to THE BEST of my ability this weekend…

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      03/02/2012 at 1:24 PM

      Enjoy Yourself!

      • ohsosexyshanea

        03/07/2012 at 10:31 PM

        NEWS FLASH…NEWS FLASH.. NEWS FLASH…. I DID IT!!!!! and he wouldn't even let me finish… i had the candles, the fruit which didn't make it out the fridge but he saw 'em so he knew of my intent, the music the vaseline babyoil gel and the KY Intense… boaw boaw… rub down the back side… skip over the buttocks caressed them legs the calves and the feet… came back up….ever so politely breezed over that ass again…. yeahhhhh, lol…. then after all was said and done, gave the tush a little massage and said flip over… dude turned around and it WAS ON!!!!! Thanks so much!!!!

        • lincolnanthonyblades

          03/08/2012 at 5:29 AM

          Glad I Could Help…But The Question Is, When Is He Returning The Favour To You?

  10. Amanda Scott

    03/02/2012 at 3:01 PM


    Here's why this post angered me so much!!!

    "Next he should work his way down to her nani by opening her thighs and spreading her legs apart. He should bend forward and kiss her all over her neck while the head of his richard presses against her clit and almost inside of her – then stop. Lean back and keep her legs spread and massage her feet."

    I'm sorry but once d!ck hits clit he's getting raped!!

  11. MzDebbieFields

    03/02/2012 at 3:03 PM

    Where's all the men??? I hope they are too busy copying and pasting this!! LOL

    • ATLienSince82

      03/02/2012 at 3:44 PM

      I was out practicin it! lol

  12. Mimilove

    03/02/2012 at 3:11 PM


    I THINK I'm able to visualize what you're talking about…but I'm just not sure, sounds good.

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      03/03/2012 at 2:00 PM

      You've Never Received A Massage Like This Yet??

      • Mimilove

        03/05/2012 at 12:18 AM

        Not yet I haven't.

  13. ATLienSince82

    03/02/2012 at 3:43 PM

    Yawl females probably don't wanna hear what men want…our massage is gonna involve the one thang yawl aint gonna agree wit..your best friend!


    • Dollabill

      03/02/2012 at 5:56 PM

      LMAO *Applauds with a devilsh grin*

    • NurseJilly

      03/03/2012 at 8:36 AM

      I take back my love on the above comment.
      Should have read this 1st… lol

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      03/03/2012 at 1:51 PM


  14. Independent Woman

    03/02/2012 at 3:55 PM

    Real men cater to their woman. Point blank period!

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      03/03/2012 at 1:51 PM


  15. imakesense

    03/02/2012 at 4:25 PM


  16. flyygirl

    03/02/2012 at 5:45 PM

    Feelin like I need to "upgrade" all of a sudden. This post is the truth!! Mr. Blades, you have just separated the boys from the men!!!! *Dialing a certain someone's phone number – hand on hip*

    • NurseJilly

      03/03/2012 at 8:39 AM

      Can I just say I love, love, love "*Dialing a certain someone's phone number – hand on hip* "

      Helping people get sexed down properly may be one of your missions in life Lincoln!!

      • lincolnanthonyblades

        03/03/2012 at 1:53 PM

        How Can I Make That A Career Without Being A Pimp?!?! LoL


    03/03/2012 at 12:15 AM

    This was good ima turn my man out somethin serious lol

  18. Lisa

    04/25/2013 at 1:05 PM

    Great post. I really like it.

  19. MassageInMadrid

    09/02/2013 at 11:27 AM

    One of the best preliminars in sex are massages, really exciting!!

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