Sometimes when I sit back and truly take stock of how much relationship insights I give to random people on a day-to-day basis it boggles my mind to think how much I am inundated by ONE particular question: What is the most important trait you look for in a wife? I usually HATE answering questions like that because it forces me to create an arbitrary list of very important character traits at a moments notice, which, inevitably, causes me to leave out traits which I actually DO find extremely important in favour for things I usually don’t give two-damns about, but say because it’s on the front of my mind. Well lately there is ONE answer that I have gotten DOWN-PAT after many hours of actually taking that question into serious consideration: The one trait I would DESPERATELY need my WIFE to have is versatility.

This is a trait that is crucially important to ALL men in some manner because of the many dichotomies that encompass a grown-ass man’s life. For me, I want a woman of high class, full of grace, with a professional demeanour and a classy [almost regal] elegance about herself – but if her ol’ saddity-ass can’t come to a cookout in the shady part of town and give some frowsy negroes some six-loves in dominoes or run some negroes off a Spades table or at least engage in a conversation on why Aaliyah could take Beyonce in a fist fight then we’re gonna have a HUGE problem.

Versatility is what separates JUMP-OFFS and QUEENS. Jump-offs typically have little to NO versatility and they just are what they are. If they are frowsy hood chicks then that’s simply their ceiling or if they are sheltered airhead suburban chicks, then THAT’S simply their ceiling, but the fact is they can correspond OK with ONE part of a man’s life, but not the ENTIRE part which ultimately makes them EXPENDABLE. Every man has dated a cool girl that he simply could NOT bring around his friends or family because her specific skill set simply does NOT translate into being a good match with THAT part of his life. And when a man realizes that, he needs to make the executive decision to either (a) cut her loose or (b) keep her around until a versatile woman of true-wife material shows up.

You really want THIS b*tch at your child's PTA meeting?!

Versatility is not only about how you act with one set of people as opposed to the next, but it also has to do with how a woman interacts with her man. A woman with an even sexual and mental balance creates wife-material of the highest order. As weird as it may seem, men DON’T want to wife up a woman who is so completely sexual all the time, that she lacks common charisma in a non-sexual arena, and men DEFINITELY DON’T want a woman who is an anal-retentive, OCD secretary all the time either. Versatility means you can be a FREAK in the bedroom [in nasty, disgusting but overall pleasurable ways] but still be my homie, best-friend and counsellor when I NEED you to be OUTSIDE of the bedroom.

Unfortunately this trait is hard to find because the perfect balance between personalities is such a subjective matter that each person has to determine for themselves. But if there’s one thing that should be made very clear: There’s NOTHING sexier than a woman who can flawlessly move between a multitude of different environments – those women aren’t just made to be considered COOL, they are made to be WIVES.

This Is Your Conscience

When Lincoln Anthony Blades is not writing for his controversial and critically acclaimed blog, he can be found contributing articles for Uptown Magazine. Lincoln wrote the hilarious and insightful book "You're Not A Victim, You're A Volunteer: How To Stop Letting Love Kick Your Ass". He is also a public speaker who has sat on panels all over North America and the Caribbean.


  1. lincolnanthonyblades

    03/27/2012 at 6:19 AM

    Ladies, Do You Think YOU Are Versatile? Also, How Important Is Versatility In Choosing A Man?

    Gentlemen, Do You Agree That Versatility Is One Of, If Not The MOST, Important Factor In Deciding Whether Or Not A Woman Is Wife Material?!

  2. Paul B.

    03/27/2012 at 8:22 AM

    You pretty much hit it on the head. Personally, it's up there for me. The skill set is important, true, but knowing how and when is even more important. So I'd put versatlity combined with wisdom as a and b in terms of importance.

  3. @_LastOfMyBreed

    03/27/2012 at 9:40 AM

    I'm with you on this. Even the overused line "Lady in the streets, and a freak in the sheets" says it. I need my future wife to be someone my family and friends can respect and admire, plus I can take her to company events and functions without feeling awkward. But then I also need her to be low maintenance and could get dirty in a paint ball match! Give me a 'Jackie of all trades' and she's getting a ring lol.

  4. NurseJilly

    03/27/2012 at 10:20 AM

    Completely agree. I’m all over the place as far as the types of people and activities I surround myself with so I need someone that can transition between those too. I need a man that can hold their own @ my work functions (which are filled with old nerdy doctors and scientists) as well as able to hang with the crazy beer pong playing lesbians on my soccer team all in the same day. I love having so many different types of people in my life it keeps things interesting.

  5. Pe.Riche.

    03/27/2012 at 11:15 AM

    I have to agree. Flexibility is crucial not only in romantic relationships, but in life in general as well.

    Me personally, it's important for me to have a man that can chill with my family (we're the type to laugh and joke at our family members' funeral), and be able to meet my WASP friends from college, but still be able to do the Electric Side at a cookout, and take in an art gallery or two.

    Having a diverse range of people in life, in my opinion, makes me a better person because it prevents me from being narrow minded and from getting too concerned with my own views or beliefs.

  6. MistaHarsh

    03/27/2012 at 1:12 PM

    This sounds like a perfect excuse of why a person hasn't settled down.

    Versatility although I agree with you is a great trait but the way you describe it, makes it too idealistic. How many single women you know can blend in at a wine tasting trip in the Niagara and kick it in Dower handing out 6 luv on a bullet ridden porch? How many single women would WANT too?

    Sheeiit I can say I'm looking to settle down with a woman that is trendy and into high end fashion but she has to be thrifty and not above shopping at value village.

    How about this one: I need a girl who's a freak in the bed and gives the best top but she can't have a sexual past that can haunt me in these streets.

    I need a girl who's a health freak but knows how to cook the best soul food ever….

    If you have this person kudos but I hope you see where this severely limits your potential to pick a wife…unless that's the goal…

  7. Adrian

    03/27/2012 at 7:08 PM

    Let the church say "AMEN"!!!

  8. Shaun

    03/27/2012 at 8:53 PM

    I have to agree with Mista Harsh on this one. If I said I wanted a guy that could defend me in a fight (and win), then be able to go shopping with me and my girls and talk about hair, fashion and shoes, a God-fearing man thug who knows how to clean up well, wear a three piece suit and order a six-course meal in French, you would be looking at me like bi**h you tripping. So yea Linc, this is just a tad idealistic.

  9. Keith

    05/03/2012 at 8:47 PM

    OMG!!! Well I am a man that has traveled the world and yes Versatility is all important on both sides. Both sides should show and be who they are. I enjoy so many things and have friends the same. My girlfriend is versatile and I can tell you that it creates and maintains confidence. Seems I hear alot about women complaining that men can't handle a man who can't or wont do the things you will or want to. Perhaps you have come across the ever lasting struggle…how to find the right one!

  10. rsurur

    11/16/2012 at 6:23 PM

    Yes I am.

  11. guestTired

    04/13/2013 at 12:28 PM

    Sounds like you are saying that men want the impossible. You obviously have no idea how hard it is to be everything, on demand. *sigh* Tired of seeing this idealization of the unattainable. Wanting more than what is here and now and available, trying her best, but never good enough.

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