Sometimes when I sit back and truly take stock of how much relationship insights I give to random people on a day-to-day basis it boggles my mind to think how much I am inundated by ONE particular question: What is the most important trait you look for in a wife? I usually HATE answering questions like that because it forces me to create an arbitrary list of very important character traits at a moments notice, which, inevitably, causes me to leave out traits which I actually DO find extremely important in favour for things I usually don’t give two-damns about, but say because it’s on the front of my mind. Well lately there is ONE answer that I have gotten DOWN-PAT after many hours of actually taking that question into serious consideration: The one trait I would DESPERATELY need my WIFE to have is versatility.

This is a trait that is crucially important to ALL men in some manner because of the many dichotomies that encompass a grown-ass man’s life. For me, I want a woman of high class, full of grace, with a professional demeanour and a classy [almost regal] elegance about herself – but if her ol’ saddity-ass can’t come to a cookout in the shady part of town and give some frowsy negroes some six-loves in dominoes or run some negroes off a Spades table or at least engage in a conversation on why Aaliyah could take Beyonce in a fist fight then we’re gonna have a HUGE problem.

Versatility is what separates JUMP-OFFS and QUEENS. Jump-offs typically have little to NO versatility and they just are what they are. If they are frowsy hood chicks then that’s simply their ceiling or if they are sheltered airhead suburban chicks, then THAT’S simply their ceiling, but the fact is they can correspond OK with ONE part of a man’s life, but not the ENTIRE part which ultimately makes them EXPENDABLE. Every man has dated a cool girl that he simply could NOT bring around his friends or family because her specific skill set simply does NOT translate into being a good match with THAT part of his life. And when a man realizes that, he needs to make the executive decision to either (a) cut her loose or (b) keep her around until a versatile woman of true-wife material shows up.

You really want THIS b*tch at your child's PTA meeting?!

Versatility is not only about how you act with one set of people as opposed to the next, but it also has to do with how a woman interacts with her man. A woman with an even sexual and mental balance creates wife-material of the highest order. As weird as it may seem, men DON’T want to wife up a woman who is so completely sexual all the time, that she lacks common charisma in a non-sexual arena, and men DEFINITELY DON’T want a woman who is an anal-retentive, OCD secretary all the time either. Versatility means you can be a FREAK in the bedroom [in nasty, disgusting but overall pleasurable ways] but still be my homie, best-friend and counsellor when I NEED you to be OUTSIDE of the bedroom.

Unfortunately this trait is hard to find because the perfect balance between personalities is such a subjective matter that each person has to determine for themselves. But if there’s one thing that should be made very clear: There’s NOTHING sexier than a woman who can flawlessly move between a multitude of different environments – those women aren’t just made to be considered COOL, they are made to be WIVES.

This Is Your Conscience

When Lincoln Anthony Blades is not writing for his controversial and critically acclaimed blog, he can be found contributing articles for Uptown Magazine. Lincoln wrote the hilarious and insightful book "You're Not A Victim, You're A Volunteer: How To Stop Letting Love Kick Your Ass". He is also a public speaker who has sat on panels all over North America and the Caribbean.


  1. lincolnanthonyblades

    03/27/2012 at 6:19 AM

    Ladies, Do You Think YOU Are Versatile? Also, How Important Is Versatility In Choosing A Man?

    Gentlemen, Do You Agree That Versatility Is One Of, If Not The MOST, Important Factor In Deciding Whether Or Not A Woman Is Wife Material?!

    • Piscean

      03/27/2012 at 10:15 AM

      I do believe I'm a versatile woman. I've always liked to have homie-lover-friend relationships. A nice blend of someone who you can converse with, kick it with, be yourself with and still have great amazing sex at the end of it all!

      I agree! Makes sense to me! I B/c I've always said, I like my man versatile as well. It's very important for a man to be versatile b/c if he's always casual…than he may not be that guy who knows how to put on a proper suit or hold a conversation with your great deaf aunt at the wedding. If he's always business, he may not know how to kick it with your homies on a cottage trip. It's very important to be open to different things since I'm a versatile gal, myself.

      *I understand that you chose Gia from the Bad Girls Club as just a picture of an example of a classy woman who can be all three. BUT…Gia is is probably one of the worst sloppiest chicks on the show I've ever seen. Putting on a dress and a cute smile can make anybody look wifey material nowadays* 😉

      <a href="” target=”_blank”>…” target=”_blank”>

      • Piscean

        03/27/2012 at 10:17 AM

        You prob can't see the link I posted b/c it's age appropriate for youtube. But if you type in "Gia Naked"…you will see her on the show, drunk as heeeeeeeelll and fighting a random dude on her first date. Not very classy at all.

        • Kam

          03/27/2012 at 11:17 AM

          I saw the video the girl is a drunken whore. Wow she was beating that boy and if he hit her back he would be in the wrong.

          "Putting on a dress and a cute smile can make anybody look wifey material nowadays* ;)"

          I don't think a lot of guys care nowadays as long as you look the part. lol

          • Mark

            03/27/2012 at 12:28 PM

            "I don't think a lot of guys care nowadays as long as you look the part. lol"

            Most guys I know think like this. To each their own but I know I couldn't put up with just good looks.

          • lincolnanthonyblades

            03/27/2012 at 2:12 PM

            That's How A lot Of BOYS Think…Most Men Who Have Been Through Some Shit Don't See It Like That

          • Piscean

            03/27/2012 at 4:19 PM

            Riiight?! This chick be drunk ALL day and ALL night on this show. And do you know the dude STILL dated her after? And y'all didn't even see the clip where she was running outside naked like a dog.

      • lincolnanthonyblades

        03/27/2012 at 2:11 PM

        To Be Honest WIth You, I've Never Watched The Bad Girls Club In My Life [Looks Like Mind Numbing BS], I Have No Clue Who The Girl In The Pic Is Either, But I Loved The Three Looks In One, Especially With The Hidden Tattoo

        • Piscean

          03/27/2012 at 4:20 PM

          lol it IS Mind-Numbing BS…but it's a guilty pleasure and entertaining for sure lol

    • ChloeRayne516

      03/27/2012 at 11:58 AM

      I've given the "Oh Shit You mad Cool Yo'"shock factor MANY TIMES — *lol*

      yes my exterior and disposition is on the boughie side but once you get to know me they realize I'm down to earth. So yes I am versatile. And I also like that in a man.

  2. Paul B.

    03/27/2012 at 8:22 AM

    You pretty much hit it on the head. Personally, it's up there for me. The skill set is important, true, but knowing how and when is even more important. So I'd put versatlity combined with wisdom as a and b in terms of importance.

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      03/27/2012 at 2:09 PM

      Definitely…Intelligence Is Important As HELL

  3. @_LastOfMyBreed

    03/27/2012 at 9:40 AM

    I'm with you on this. Even the overused line "Lady in the streets, and a freak in the sheets" says it. I need my future wife to be someone my family and friends can respect and admire, plus I can take her to company events and functions without feeling awkward. But then I also need her to be low maintenance and could get dirty in a paint ball match! Give me a 'Jackie of all trades' and she's getting a ring lol.

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      03/27/2012 at 2:09 PM


    • momo

      03/31/2012 at 11:15 PM

      Where have you been?!

      Most dudes can't handle coming to one of my galas and then hitting up paintball on the weekend or the pool hall or even simple go karts without slam dunking me into the homie world where I still meet and know allll the friends and fam but they get vex when I don't have enough time to devote to 'being their woman' you can't have the lady running and going to events and the homie and handle it all the time. :( (by you it's been some of the sorry as men who complain about me not making them number one priority in my life)

  4. NurseJilly

    03/27/2012 at 10:20 AM

    Completely agree. I’m all over the place as far as the types of people and activities I surround myself with so I need someone that can transition between those too. I need a man that can hold their own @ my work functions (which are filled with old nerdy doctors and scientists) as well as able to hang with the crazy beer pong playing lesbians on my soccer team all in the same day. I love having so many different types of people in my life it keeps things interesting.

    • Pe.Riche.

      03/27/2012 at 11:06 AM

      Completely off topic, but WHY is beer pong so damn fun?!?!

      • NurseJilly

        03/27/2012 at 12:38 PM

        To be honest that's exactly what I used to think too. I'm a super competitive person so once I started playing @ a house party one night I realized its actually kinda fun. Whenever I get together with my my team mates from any of the sports I play we are all so competitive so whether its beer pong or a wii dance off (love the just dance 3) I always have a great time cause I usually win… lol #just sayin

      • lincolnanthonyblades

        03/27/2012 at 2:08 PM

        What's Beer Pong??

        • NurseJilly

          03/27/2012 at 3:43 PM

          Its a drinking game white people play. Its actually really fun for house parties.

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      03/27/2012 at 2:08 PM


  5. Pe.Riche.

    03/27/2012 at 11:15 AM

    I have to agree. Flexibility is crucial not only in romantic relationships, but in life in general as well.

    Me personally, it's important for me to have a man that can chill with my family (we're the type to laugh and joke at our family members' funeral), and be able to meet my WASP friends from college, but still be able to do the Electric Side at a cookout, and take in an art gallery or two.

    Having a diverse range of people in life, in my opinion, makes me a better person because it prevents me from being narrow minded and from getting too concerned with my own views or beliefs.

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      03/27/2012 at 2:08 PM

      Co-Sign Your Last Paragraph

  6. MistaHarsh

    03/27/2012 at 1:12 PM

    This sounds like a perfect excuse of why a person hasn't settled down.

    Versatility although I agree with you is a great trait but the way you describe it, makes it too idealistic. How many single women you know can blend in at a wine tasting trip in the Niagara and kick it in Dower handing out 6 luv on a bullet ridden porch? How many single women would WANT too?

    Sheeiit I can say I'm looking to settle down with a woman that is trendy and into high end fashion but she has to be thrifty and not above shopping at value village.

    How about this one: I need a girl who's a freak in the bed and gives the best top but she can't have a sexual past that can haunt me in these streets.

    I need a girl who's a health freak but knows how to cook the best soul food ever….

    If you have this person kudos but I hope you see where this severely limits your potential to pick a wife…unless that's the goal…

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      03/27/2012 at 2:07 PM

      To Be Honest, In The City Of Toronto, I Know MANY…In My Hometown Of Barbados, I Know MANY…Of All My Friends In NYC, I Know MANY…For Me And My Friends [Many Of Whom Are Married] This Is The Simplest Of Requirements..

      Just Thought I Would Write Something About What I Find Personally Interesting..

      • Shaun

        03/27/2012 at 8:49 PM

        Uh, where in Bim you know these women? Cause right now ratchet is the order of the day.

      • universaltoronto

        03/31/2012 at 11:19 PM


        • Raven

          10/24/2015 at 1:25 AM

          I'm seriously considering moving to Canada..

  7. Adrian

    03/27/2012 at 7:08 PM

    Let the church say "AMEN"!!!

  8. Shaun

    03/27/2012 at 8:53 PM

    I have to agree with Mista Harsh on this one. If I said I wanted a guy that could defend me in a fight (and win), then be able to go shopping with me and my girls and talk about hair, fashion and shoes, a God-fearing man thug who knows how to clean up well, wear a three piece suit and order a six-course meal in French, you would be looking at me like bi**h you tripping. So yea Linc, this is just a tad idealistic.

    • Shaun

      03/27/2012 at 8:54 PM

      *God-fearing thug

  9. Keith

    05/03/2012 at 8:47 PM

    OMG!!! Well I am a man that has traveled the world and yes Versatility is all important on both sides. Both sides should show and be who they are. I enjoy so many things and have friends the same. My girlfriend is versatile and I can tell you that it creates and maintains confidence. Seems I hear alot about women complaining that men can't handle a man who can't or wont do the things you will or want to. Perhaps you have come across the ever lasting struggle…how to find the right one!

  10. rsurur

    11/16/2012 at 6:23 PM

    Yes I am.

  11. guestTired

    04/13/2013 at 12:28 PM

    Sounds like you are saying that men want the impossible. You obviously have no idea how hard it is to be everything, on demand. *sigh* Tired of seeing this idealization of the unattainable. Wanting more than what is here and now and available, trying her best, but never good enough.

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