“ANY Woman That’s Ever Been In A Gang-Bang Was RAPED”

She may LOOK like she's having fun, but APPARENTLY she's being RAPED

Honestly speaking, if I didn’t have such an eclectic and diverse group of friends to argue and debate with, I don’t think I would have this blog. I actually have one close feminist friend that I go back and forth with ALL the time – not because I have an issue with supporting women, but because I have a general distaste for people who align themselves with particular stances without even gauging the issue from an individualistic standpoint first. Basically, I hate to see people refrain from looking at an issue based on its own merits just to support their own “clan” [read my ABOUT TIYC link above]. It’s THIS point of view that I have that sparked a HUGE debate this past weekend.

As some of you may know, I am starting a podcast on May 13th called R&B: Relationships & Bullsh*t, and one major part of my pre-show duties is scouring the net to find nice songs and sick instrumentals which I do mostly on Youtube. Like anyone who surfs Youtube [especially late at night] knows, is that searching for one video can quickly become browsing through different videos for HOURS. I went from listening to Xscape and Aaliyah to “somehow” viewing Rosa Acosta booty-clapping videos. From there my laptop turned from RAP CITY to BET UNCUT and I couldn’t contain my laughter at reminiscing over these old-freaky-ass videos and the scallywags doing frowsy, scallywagish behaviour [simulating public oral sex, running trains, etc.] all throughout. When my feminist-homegirl called and heard me laughing, she asked me what the big joke was, and when I told her she got EXTREMELY offended. Why you ask?

Well in her words: “Any woman that has ever been in a ‘gang-bang’ was RAPED! And any woman that has had her body sexually-disrespected by a man has been RAPED! And you shouldn’t be laughing because these women are VICTIMS of a male-dominated, socio-pathetic, misogynistic society that treats women like sh*t!”

And my response: “Give me a F*^KING break.”

If there’s one thing I truly HATE, it’s when people use inflammatory rhetoric and broad generalizations to try and drive home their judgemental point of view. In her mind, there’s ACCEPTABLE sex and UNACCEPTABLE sex, and any woman who engages in what my friend deems to be UNACCEPTABLE sex, does so NOT of her own free will [like she does when she has ACCEPTABLE sex] but does so out of social conditioning in a male-dominated society. What’s the problem with this theory you ask? The fact that each individual woman who supports this theory has a different definition of what’s UNACCEPTABLE and NONE address the issue of ‘what constitutes a sexual desire?’

Because my feminist friend thinks Gang Bangs are degrading, she therefore finds them repulsive and can not understand or fathom why any woman would participate in one, hence her arriving at the idea that she must be mentally coerced by the men in the scenario OR be mentally beat down by men in society. On the other hand, she sees nothing wrong with public sex, as she feels the fact that women feel “free and comfortable” enough to have sex outdoors is an indicator of social progression from DECADES ago, when women by in-large would NOT participate in those acts at the risk of being called a hussy or a floozy. The problem with her argument is that she set the boundaries of acceptability and essentially applied mental conditions to women at random. She leaves absolutely NO room for the fact, that there ARE women out there that actually ENJOY having multiple penises at one time.

There ARE women out there that enjoy being spanked, choked, using whips and chains, urinating and sh*tting and all other types of freaky sh*t. YOU may not be into it, but just because YOU aren’t into it, doesn’t mean you can pretend to know that people who engage in THAT type of sex are mentally abused. In fact, that’s the same type of mentality that leads people to believe that Gays and Lesbians are “that way” because they are screwed in the head.

Now understand, I am NOT wholly discounting her entire premise as a complete falsehood, as there ARE women in the world whose sexual desires may be a manifestation of mental, emotional and physical abuse. But I have a LARGE problem with making the broad generalization that ALL women who participate in certain sexual acts are VICTIMS, especially when no one has taken the time to do a psychological assessment of her true state of mind. The fact is, there are some women out here who simply have sexual desires OUTSIDE of the accepted societal norms, and just because they do, it doesn’t mean they are “screwed in the head”, it just means their sexual appetite is riskier than the norm.

Look, if there is ONE thing we really should try not to over-politicize it is our intrinsic sexual desires. That is one of the few parts of our modern human nature that is still purely authentic. As much as NONE of us likes to admit it, we ALL have freaky-ass tendencies that would cross over MOST people’s UNACCEPTABLE lines – but that doesn’t mean we are ALL mentally and physically damaged.

This Is Your Conscience

When Lincoln Anthony Blades is not writing for his controversial and critically acclaimed blog ThisIsYourConscience.com, he can be found contributing articles for Uptown Magazine. Lincoln wrote the hilarious and insightful book "You're Not A Victim, You're A Volunteer: How To Stop Letting Love Kick Your Ass". He is also a public speaker who has sat on panels all over North America and the Caribbean.

1 Comment

  1. Derek Wheeler

    09/06/2016 at 4:42 AM

    You’re friend’s funny. I know women that consider public sex to be a demeaning practice designed to show off the woman as little more than a fuck trophy and who would say that anytime she has sex in public it’s demeaning to her. They wouldn’t call it rape because they would base that on her desire to do it or not. But you can tell your friends there are people that feel what she deems acceptable is unacceptable to them and demeaning to women.

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