Is A Relationship That Begins With ANY Form Of LYING DOOMED To Eventually FAIL?!

As of tomorrow, Friday, April 20th, damn near everyone I know will be going out to see the film ‘Think Like A Man’ and I would be lying if I said I’m not MORE than a little intrigued to see how this movie plays out [especially since I write a blog with A LOT of sex and relationship content]. So as I watched the trailer again last night, there was one particular relationship-interaction that REALLY caught my eye and intrigued me: The relationship between Taraji P. Henson and Michael Ealy [with his ol’ lying self]. What I wonder is this: Can a relationship initiated with ANY form of lying, still have any chance at being successful after the truth comes out?

Here’s the trailer for anyone who HASN’T seen it yet:

So from what I can gather, Ealy’s character portrays himself to be a baller on Taraji’s level and eventually ends up getting exposed and trying to start over anew by being completely honest and keeping it real. And as much as I love providing relationship insights, this is one topic that I really am stuck on: After you discover someone was dishonest about themselves from the moment you started dating them, can you rebuild the relationship after the truth comes out?

It’s an interesting dichotomy because the beginning of the dating process should lend itself to the MOST honest interaction you can have with someone. You owe that person NOTHING plus you don’t really know them so you shouldn’t really care what they think of you. BUT, on the other hand we are ALL somewhat dishonest about ourselves during the initial dating period [hence why we have OUR REPRESENTATIVE that we bring out on our first few dates]. Let’s keep it real, there’s a LOT of things we aren’t 100% honest about even with our CURRENT partners RIGHT NOW – but can that be overcome? Does it depend on the size of the lie?

So I pose this question to you: Can a relationship initiated in dishonesty SURVIVE after the truth comes out [because ALL relationships are like that to an extent] or is it doomed to FAIL?

I’m gonna go see this movie on Friday and I hope you all do too, because I’m gonna write a follow-up to this post and we can all CONTINUE to debate on whether or not a relationship like this can survive.

This Is Your Conscience

When Lincoln Anthony Blades is not writing for his controversial and critically acclaimed blog ThisIsYourConscience.com, he can be found contributing articles for Uptown Magazine. Lincoln wrote the hilarious and insightful book "You're Not A Victim, You're A Volunteer: How To Stop Letting Love Kick Your Ass". He is also a public speaker who has sat on panels all over North America and the Caribbean.

40 Comments

  1. lincolnanthonyblades

    04/19/2012 at 2:07 PM

    Ladies & Gentlemen, Do You Think A Relationship Can Overcome Initial Dishonesty?!

  2. The_Mad_HATER

    04/19/2012 at 2:52 PM

    hell naw its not doomed to fail!! when i meet a woman she usually got fake hair, fake nails, fake eyelashes, a bunch of make up,and even fake teeth and i dont even meet the real version of a woman until months after the first date!! then she gonna complain about a little white lie i told??! is she crazy??!

  3. krystllyght

    04/19/2012 at 3:17 PM

    I think it really depends on the type of lie and the motivation for the lie for a person to feel like they can move pass it and still be with you.

  4. ATLienSince82

    04/19/2012 at 3:24 PM

    To me, the only way it can work is if both people come out and put their lies on the table…If only one person does it, the other person still gonna look down on them like they ain't shit

  5. Real Talking

    04/19/2012 at 3:50 PM

    Yeah I'm gonna check this film out tomorrow!

    In my opinion a relationship can survive if the lie doesn't impact the future of the relationship. Like it's cool if you lie about your exact job title, but if you lie about being employed that's a whole next thing..

  6. HerCommonSense

    04/19/2012 at 4:14 PM

    I think the thing we need to discuss is the difference between lying and holding back some truth. I will not lie about anything when I meet a man, but I also will not tell him everything about me from the moment we meet either..

  7. krystllyght

    04/19/2012 at 4:35 PM

    Did ya'll see them itty bitty shorts on Metta World Peace/ Ron Artest? Hilarious!

  8. Your Printable PDF

    04/19/2012 at 5:46 PM

    Lies in the beginning foretell the end! Save yourself the drama and be honest!

  9. @wegotkidz

    04/19/2012 at 9:25 PM

    […]the beginning of the dating process should lend itself to the MOST honest interaction you can have with someone[…] This statement (although lovely) is pretty idealistic. lol. I think everyone – especially black people – tend to begin relationships under false pretenses. It's just a fact. As you get to know the person you're dating, walls begin to fall and that's when bonds are made and/or broken.

  10. kathrynfkoopman

    04/20/2012 at 6:31 AM

    Thsi si a big question where people will have their own opinion or reaction, However, for me, relationship is something which we all should not take for granted because we never know what may happen in the future.

  11. Pingback: Five Reason You May Want to See “Think Like A Man”?? « From Ashy to Classy

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