Are You A Ratchet Whisperer?

Fact: Her parent or legal guardian is RATCHET - so why even argue?!

Everyday on my Facebook Fan Page I like to entertain my fans with random pictures I find all over the internet. Some are hilarious, some are insightful, some are beautiful, some are grotesque and A LOT of them are of straight-up, deep-fried RATCHETNESS. I have posted pictures of everything from women with zip-on lace-fronts, to dudes posing with their baby in one hand and a nine millie in the other. As much as I am willing to slightly entertain the ideology that ratchetness can be somewhat subjective, the reality is that A LOT of it is NOT – and any person with common sense and self respect can typically point out ratchetness except the RATCHET WHISPERERS.

A Ratchet Whisperer is a person who can witness completely, ridiculously ratchet behaviour being done, and their initial reaction to it is to try and cogently and logically defend the behaviour or come up with a solid rationale as to WHY that behaviour is taking place. Worse of all, they will ATTACK whoever labels the behaviour ratchet and then hop on their “you without sin, cast the first stone” pedestal in a SORRY-ASS attempt to recognize the behaviour as common and subsequently normal.

Ratchet Whisperer’s, please go F*^K your collective selves.

There is some sh*t that is so hideous and wrong and absent of self-respect that our goal as a society should be to try and help them or [if they don’t want it, which most DON’T] laugh right the F*^K at them.

For Example:

This tattoo is RATCHETNESS personified:

Permanently marking your body with two women sucking d*ck, styled as a butterfly is CLASSLESS and, unless this chick is a pr0n star, will most likely not have ANY positive repercussions in her lifetime. Am I judging? HELL NAW. Am I gonna try to help her? HELL NAW, because I bet she loves that tattoo and doesn’t want to hear anything I have to say. So in turn I recognize she is RATCHET, laugh my ass off at her FAIL and keep it moving.

BUT, the Rachet Whisperer can’t have that. They need to talk about how the true beauty of the tattoo is going right over our heads, and then finish their ignorant rant screaming YOLO.

And once third, innocent parties get involved it becomes even WORSE, like THESE for example:

Any person with common sense will look at these pictures like “wow, that’s actually kinda F*^KED up – that child is being raised by DUMBASSES.”

But what does a Rachet Whisperer see?!

Picture 1: “The little girl doesn’t know what it means so it’s cool…OH LIKE YOU HAVEN’T DRESSED YOUR CHILD UP IN CLOTHES WITH GROWN-ASS MESSAGES ON IT?! He who ain’t got a damn sin, better dash that damn rock!”

Picture 2: “How y’all know the money wasn’t just gifts from the Godparents?! CHILDREN CAN’T POSE WITH SOME DOLLAR BILLS IN THE CRIB?! They who ain’t finna sin this year, go’ head with them damn stones!”

Picture 3:How y’all know she ain’t just posing showing her after-baby body?! So what if she’s in black lace boy panties, A WOMAN CAN’T POSE IN FRONT OF HER OWN DAMN MIRROR ANYMORE?! Unno tuh bloodclaat badmind so gwan fling yuh raatid stones dem!”

Look, here’s the biggest problem with being a ratchet whisperer: The fact that you feel the NEED to defend people CLEARLY doing f*^kery just proves YOU are the most RATCHET of them all.

This Is Your Conscience

When Lincoln Anthony Blades is not writing for his controversial and critically acclaimed blog, he can be found contributing articles for Uptown Magazine. Lincoln wrote the hilarious and insightful book "You're Not A Victim, You're A Volunteer: How To Stop Letting Love Kick Your Ass". He is also a public speaker who has sat on panels all over North America and the Caribbean.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *