FYI Ladies: Men In “Happy” Relationships Cheat Too

A few days, ago a young lady emailed me asking the one question I receive FAR too much: “Why do men cheat?” But before giving me the chance to respond, she answered her own question in the very same e-mail and stated “Yes, I know the reason most men cheat is because they are unhappy in the relationship.” It was at that point I had to stop reading and start replying – because she was 100% incorrect. One major misnomer about male-cheating is that it originates from a place of displeasure with their woman, and it’s that ignorant ideology that allows SOME women to start taking the blame for being cheated on which a woman [or a man too for that matter] should NEVER do.

For those of you who DON’T know, the reason why men cheat is simple: New vagina will ALWAYS be greater than old vagina. That is the BASIS behind why men continue to chase and/or accept nani different than the one they are suppose to be committed to. But to take that concept a step further, the reason why men cheat is because many of us are opportunistic and weak-willed when it comes to p*ssy – and any man who isn’t willing to admit that is probably a well-trained LIAR. But the reality of cheating that most people don’t understand is this: Most women never find out how loyal their man really is, because they never find out how weak willed and opportunistic he is – and they never find out how weak willed and opportunistic he is [when it comes to p*ssy] because most men are never TRULY tested when it comes to being faithful.

The idea that men cheat because they are unhappy is an ideology that was propagated by a b*tch-ass, half-a-man who had NO business speaking for the male gender at large. And worse, it promotes the idea that a woman can possibly be guilty by proxy of NOT keeping her man happy enough to be faithful, when his douchebag behaviour should reflect him and him alone. So understand, happy men cheat too – and their satisfaction with their relationship is NOT the problem -it’s their shaky ability to be resolute in their faithfulness.

Look, you can give me TEN high-quality, happy and amazing men who are completely enthralled with their women – then give me Paula Patton in a matching lace bra and thong – and put each and every one of those dudes in a room alone with her and see what happens. I guarantee at least 7 of those happy-men end up deep inside her guts. Why? Because ALL men love new nani [whether they are willing to go through with getting it or not] and most men have never REALLY had their loyalty tested in a SERIOUS manner.

The same dudes bragging about being “good guys” because they never cheated before, are also the same guys knocking dudes like Tiger Woods for what he did, but they absent-mindedly forget one simple fact: The difference between THEM and the dudes they are condescendingly looking down on is the access, opportunity and quality of the nani they have to turn down. There’s old dudes I know who stay bragging about their consistent level of incorruptible reliability, which they loudly state is due to their high level of class.

Let’s just understand one simple point: When a man decides to beat up new nani, it rarely has to do with his woman’s shortcomings – as much as it has to do with his own selfishness and greed. So, with that said, let’s stop perpetuating the idea that most men cheat because they are unhappy and let’s just start remembering that most men cheat because they are d*ckheads.

This Is Your Conscience

When Lincoln Anthony Blades is not writing for his controversial and critically acclaimed blog, he can be found contributing articles for Uptown Magazine. Lincoln wrote the hilarious and insightful book "You're Not A Victim, You're A Volunteer: How To Stop Letting Love Kick Your Ass". He is also a public speaker who has sat on panels all over North America and the Caribbean.


  1. lincolnanthonyblades

    05/31/2012 at 6:30 AM

    Ladies & Gentlemen, Do You Think Men Being Unhappy Is A Big Reason Why Men Cheat?

  2. Paul B.

    05/31/2012 at 7:09 AM

    Being unhappy? Yes. Being unhappy with his woman? Not as much. Yes, it happens in those situations too, but truth be told, that woman ultimately isn't responsible for his happiness in where he is in life; he is. A problem is that his definition of happy may not be the same as her's. She can be doing everything that she knows how to and is willing to do, but if he's not happy with himself, it won't matter. Unfortunately some men tie their personal validation to the acquisition of sex from as many women as possible to show how much of a "man" they are (faulty programming from a variety of sources), and the scary part is that quite a few men get into relationships and get married and operate under that flawed programming. Being married, having children together and having a life together can't fix an internal issue like that. Only being healed, restored, and delivered spiritually can do that. In summation, yes he's unhappy, but I say it's moreso with himself, than not his woman in some cases.

  3. Sabretooth

    05/31/2012 at 8:13 AM

    Hmmm, while this was a well-stated and good read, as a friend of mine would say, I'm gonna have to call shananigans on this one. Obviously this is your opinion, however, I don't think you speak for MOST men. Some of what you stated is true and fairly obvious…I don't know any man who does like getting new nani from time to time. However, I've known too many people and seen too many situations involving cheating and believe me, most of the people I know whom have cheated (both men and women) did it because they were not getting something from that other person. Some people (both men and women) are just straight up cheaters, no if's, and's, or but's about it. But this article is written as though to imply ALL (or like you said MOST) men are like this…and I stress MEN because that seemed to be your primary focus here. I don't know your identity, so I don't know for sure if you are a man or a woman. I don't think a man would say the things you are saying, but then again, I don't know. I ask this…if most men cheat because they want new nani, then why do most women cheat? Because new d**k is better than old d**k? Most of the women I know stated they've cheated because…1.) They were not happy…2.) Just not into him anymore…3.)Bored with the relationship and just wanted something new. Funny thing is that's what many of the guys I know said about their relationships as well.

  4. Paul B.

    05/31/2012 at 8:45 AM

    There is no universal answer for this, and a lot of the problems and confusion results from people trying to lump everybody else into one category and then gets confused when a situation arises that doesn't fit into that supposed norm.

  5. Ganjababy

    05/31/2012 at 10:34 AM

    Also, some men cheat because they have the "Do her wrong before she does me wrong attitude". Fact of the matter is, if a person is going to cheat, you cannot stop them. You can ONLY control yourself and how you react to what they do. As a women, in a relationship, friends ask me all the time, what would you do if your man cheated? I say, He knows exactly what I would do, and if he is willing to take the risk to throw away everything that we have worked towards for the last 3yrs, then he is not worth my time in the first place. I am too old to worry about the what if's. Just keep doing you and stop giving so much control to your signifigant other. When you hand over control in a relationship, then your partner never respects you and does what ever the f–k they want. If you accept cheating, you will be cheated on. If you do not accept cheating, then you will weed out the bad eggs from the good.

  6. pregnantanddating

    05/31/2012 at 12:03 PM

    I also think cheating is just another bad habit that has developed or has been passed down.. so just as someone can say why men cheat you can also ask why is my man fat, why is he an alcoholic, why is my man abusive, why is he addicted to drugs.. A man or any person can find security in a variety of things. getting new coochie and knowing you can get it and get away with it seems like a security blanket for some men or anyone who is a habitual cheater.. and I totally agree with the post!

  7. The_Mad_HATER

    05/31/2012 at 1:40 PM

    some of y'all women need to understand that there are men out here who love their girl and love sex with other women too!! the idea that a man cant love his girl and side pussy at the same time is a female thing! we can separate our feelings!

  8. alexxussknight

    05/31/2012 at 1:44 PM

    Here is what I believe the truth is. You are all right. Men cheat because they are un happy, and men cheat because they are a**holes but the third reason and equally as important is that they cheat because there is a woman out there willing to sleep with him. Yeah I said it! It takes two people to have an affair, now don't jump on me because I'm not talking about the women who are lied to (even though secretly I know you know this dude has a girl) I'm talking about the women who are fully aware of the wife or girlfriend and F*uck dude anyway. Let's keep this all the way 100. Cheating will end when people are mature enough to be honest about their unhappiness in their relationship, when men are mature enough to stay single and threrefore can sleep with whomever they want because they know their gonna step out on their girl anyway, and when women stop sleeping with other women's men! That's just my two cents!

  9. Ganjababy

    05/31/2012 at 1:49 PM

    Yeah but a man loving his girl but loving side puss too, puts her and him at the risk of STD's STI's and possible unwanted pregnanies. It is just not worth the risk and it is disrespectful to the relationship. Relationships are supposed to be exclusive. A man or woman cheating is just being a straight out pig and really doesnt deserve to be in a relationship in the first place, if they are do not have the mental capacity or maturity to stay committed. You are obviously still in your 20's to have this mindset.

  10. A Grown Ass Man

    05/31/2012 at 2:09 PM

    The one thing I always find interesting about these conversations is how butthurt some women get. Women seem to want all men out there to think and act alike, when the only thing that really matters is how your man thinks and act.

    I found this post interesting but I know I'm not a cheater so it's not applicable to me and my relationships.

  11. STM2F

    05/31/2012 at 2:30 PM

    I think a man's unhappiness with himself can lead to cheating, or his lack of contentment with the onne-pussy lifestyle. In my experience, most of the men I've known to cheat have had serious self confidence issues. They were able to pretend that they thought highly of themselves, but their self worth was painfully low – I guess feeling attractive or interesting through the seduction of others temporarily alleviated their painful self doubts.
    The rest of the guys… Well, they just loved new pussy, almost as much as they loved their chicks. Their opinion generally seemed to be 'if she doesn't know who else I'm tapping it can't hurt her, and I see no reason to exercise my willpower when I can have my cake AND eat it'. It's a dick move, but I don't think it makes that person a dick – they just need to find themselves an open relationship and be done with it!

    I wonder if this article will be followed up with a 'why women cheat'…….

  12. mmmj

    05/31/2012 at 5:05 PM

    THANK YOU FOR THIS POST. i think many women who have been cheated on or betrayed by the gentleman in their life at some point or another think that it is their sole fault, or they are the reason behind his unhappiness (solely speaking about hetero relationships). absolutely there is probably fault in both people as no one is perfect, HOWEVER, if he cheats he is a d*ckhead. i agree. this post made me incredibly happy :) obviously, it resonated with me. hah, thanks lincoln.

  13. petersburgh

    05/31/2012 at 7:52 PM

    I believe people on a whole cheat because they want to but they tend to mask it with things like being unhappy etc

  14. ATLienSince82

    05/31/2012 at 9:33 PM

    I don't wanna piss in nobody's cereal but whats up with this 'men cheating because they are unhappy with themselves thing'?? LOL

    Men who cheat definitely don't got problems loving themselves lol

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