Women today have been inundated with so many dating horror stories it’s not unusual to see bitter high school girls – YES, you heard me right – bitter HIGH SCHOOL girls. Now when women decide to undertake the seemingly massive responsibility of meeting a new guy, it seems the WORST thing that can happen is they have an instant and incredible spark.
Women today are so cynical, nervous and downright scared of being made a fool that the presence of instant perfection in a man can send her into full blown Inspector Gadget mode trying her damnedest to find out why he is single, sane and of seemingly superlative quality. And what thought comes to her mind: it’s a trap.
Now before we continue, I want to define ‘Perfect’ because I don’t want my use of the word to be confused with the typical usage. A perfect person is one whose physical attractiveness, as well as their emotional and mental strengths and weaknesses, create an amalgamation of a person extremely suited to YOU. Perfect does NOT mean that they don’t have any faults, because no human being walking this world is absent of negative qualities. Every now and then, some of us are lucky enough to meet someone who we click immediately with as if we have known that person our whole lives – but we often MESS it up because we are too scared to love that fast, that hard.
Do not delude yourself into thinking this is merely just a small roadblock for the small population of insecure people in our society, because this is a lot larger of an issue than you think mainly that affects us all to some extent. Most men know exactly what it’s like to meet a woman, have an incredible connection right off the bat, and then deal with her emotional cynicism which eventually ends up destroying that beautiful connection you created. Similarly most women know what it’s like to have an awesome bond with a dude, just to start activating her “go-go Gadget arms” and reaching into the furthest depths of his personal life HOPING to find a blemish on his record so she can go back and say that his a*s is just a wolf in sheep’s clothing.
Women, this behaviour has got to STOP, because in the end the only person you are really hurting is yourself. Do you ladies have any CLUE how difficult it is to create a meaningful bond with someone nowadays? In our social networking world, we barely even know how to act around each other in person anymore, and with our microwave generation, we don’t believe in working at relationships anymore, just moving on to the next one over the slightest offense.
If your a*s is lucky enough to have an immediate and instantaneous connection with a man then consider yourself lucky. If you can have initial phone conversations that go on for hours without even one awkward pause, or you can enjoy the time you spend together without even knowing how many hours have passed and even right from when you first met, you both knew what each other was thinking and got each other’s sense of humour, then YOU WON THE DATING JACKPOT. So stop trying to take your ticket to every fraud-detection agency in town just to ‘find out its really a forgery.’
I will concede the point that sometimes a real connection can just be confused with intense infatuation that could be brought on by excessive loneliness and/or horny-ness. But I will always contend that it’s better to have loved someone worth it and lost, then to have wondered what could have been if you weren’t such a jaded skeptic.
This Is Your Conscience
Join Bee Quammie on October 26th for a creative and timely roundtable discussion on topics around diversity and representation in the media, from the perspectives of:
Tatiana King: Radio Personality, G98.7FM's "The African Groove Show"
Arisa Cox: Freelance Journalist & Host of Big Brother Canada
Kim Johnson: Producer, CityNews
Nneka Elliott: Co-host, CP24 Breakfast
Ingrie Williams: Stylist & Editor of HOLR Magazine
We'll discuss a multitude of themes to hopefully open up a much-needed discussion around the intersections of race, gender, and media - and we'll have fun making new connections as we go!