“Bruh, The Man That Put The RING On Her Is The WINNER…”

Since my boys are not very in tune with pop culture and the lives of celebrities, a few of them were SHOCKED to find out that Meagan Good got married Saturday. Most of them were heartbroken that the unofficial love of their lives was now officially off the market [as if any of these negroes – and Italian – stood a damn shot] but it was a comment one of my friends made that I found really funny. He sarcastically stated “Man, whatever dude got to beat that p*ssy up before she got married is a winner for life.” And I found that comment very interesting, because my response to that was “Bruh, the man that put the RING on her is the REAL winner for life.”

I then proceeded to explain to my friends that to my [very limited] knowledge, Meagan is not only a hardcore Christian, but she was [before Saturday night] either a virgin OR a long-practicing celibate woman who hasn’t been with anyone for years. So, her being a woman of high-quality [gorgeous, seemingly down-to-earth, financially independent, principled, etc.] means that she is WIFE MATERIAL. The goal of being with a woman who is wife-material is to HAVE her by your side in the long run – not a night or two. And this is where me and my friends split into two camps and completely disagreed with one another. The other group of dudes have an idea about women and relationships which I not only find TROUBLING, but ultimately SELF-DEFEATING: ‘Any man that has smashed a woman, has the same successful claim to that woman as any man that comes after her.’

Now before me and my friends launched into this argument, I want to preface it with the following statement [the same one we prefaced our OWN debate with]: This conversation is in no way, shape or form about dudes who wife up h0es, scallywags and ratchet chicks – that is a COMPLETELY different argument.

But, although I disagree with their ridiculous point, I understand what they are trying to say. One of the main goals a man has in dating, is eventually getting the draws, therefore, even by only temporarily having those draws, he still accomplished some semblance of his “goal” with her.

Now here’s why that is a completely ridiculous and full of sh*t ideology.

A) Good Women Aren’t HAD – Good Women Are LOST

Any high-quality woman that is currently married was not HAD by her exes and previous sex partners – she was LOST. Only a dumb-ass would sit around and give some frowsy looseball credit for bagging a woman of terrific long-term quality and not experiencing ANY of it. He didn’t win for ANY night – he just lost in the BIGGER picture.

B) Your Richard AIN’T That Memorable, Bruh

This is an issue a LOT of men deal with: Thinking that we will exist forever in the minds, hearts and nanis of any woman we were with at least ONCE. Our ridiculous egos is what drives us to that bullsh*t way of thinking. The fact is, most of us men are nothing more than footnotes in a high-quality woman’s life, if even THAT, after she finds a grown-ass man. So when you high-fiving yourself over the past, you don’t realize you are so many chapters back in the story of her life, you are close to being edited out of the entire book.

C) The Fact That You Equate LOVE And SEX To Being On The Same Level Proves You’re NOT A High Quality Man

And this is the most important point: The fact that you can boil down a woman’s intrinsic worth to her vagina, and then believe that “winning” means sampling it, proves that YOU are not a high quality man, therefore you didn’t win SH*T. Flip the scenario for a second and imagine how you would explain to a great-woman’s, great man how HE is losing by having her. When he gets to have her as his beautiful wife, mother of his kids, soulmate, best friend, life-partner and freak in the sheets, how exactly do YOU have any predominance over him?

Hell, the simple fact that he saw a woman NOT worth losing, while YOUR ass didn’t, proves he’s winning in ways you will NEVER understand.

This Is Your Conscience

When Lincoln Anthony Blades is not writing for his controversial and critically acclaimed blog ThisIsYourConscience.com, he can be found contributing articles for Uptown Magazine. Lincoln wrote the hilarious and insightful book "You're Not A Victim, You're A Volunteer: How To Stop Letting Love Kick Your Ass". He is also a public speaker who has sat on panels all over North America and the Caribbean.