He thinks all women are b*tches - but the biggest b*tch is the one staring back at his ass in the mirror

I know a LOT of bitter dudes – hell, I use to BE a bitter dude. Man or woman, there’s no shame in admitting that you’ve been bitter at some point in your life, because it SHOULD be nothing more than a temporary label typically given to you after a somewhat traumatic or unfortunate event in your dating life. But if there’s one realization I’ve come to, it’s that men tend to be bitter a LOT longer and harder than women are. Women can get knocked the hell down, get up, brush her self off and keep it moving, while many men get knocked down, get bitter and proceed to scream sh*t like “B*tches ain’t sh*t!” But here’s the problem with their mentalities – bitter men are essentially the same as SMART men – except they DECIDED to IGNORE their better sense just to keep chasing some seriously ill-nani.

Earlier this week I created a post about my dudes from BrothersWithNoGame.com and how they are starting their own web series. Well, for those of you who HAVEN’T seen it, here it is:

[Obviously I would like if you could watch the ENTIRE clip, but for the sake of this discussion, watch from the start until about 6:50]

Here you have Theo, a chill, NICE guy who is on a date with a pretty cool woman who is feeling him on SOME level. But this negro ends up driving her to another dudes place to get BANGED out, while he heads to his boys spot to play PS3 [And for those of you who think that’s a far-fetched premise, unfortunately it’s NOT – but there’s no time to delve into stories right now]. So let me explain the REAL WORLD application of how this scenario would affect the average dude out there: He would drive old girl to the dudes house, call and text her nonstop the next day, keep going out with her and getting further and further away from the nani, and eventually she reveals she’s not interested AT ALL, and he spirals into a bitter depression [or bitter-induced fit of rage]. He then believes you need to be an ASSHOLE to get women these days, and proceeds to treat a trail of women like SH*T [even GOOD ones who he could have formed a decent relationship with]. THIS is how bitter men are created these days.

But what these bitter dudes don’t realize, is that their wilful ignorance is their own WORST enemy when it comes to evolving into a bitter ass man. Whether the scenario is driving a girl to a next mans place, being cheated on by a hussy, having your bank account drained by a spiteful chick or getting arrested because your crazy-ass woman said you assaulted her, there was ALWAYS a higher voice in your head making you cognitively aware of the possible BULLSH*T that was gonna come with this chick – and you CHOSE to ignore it.

Theo’s conscience KNEW Nicole’s game from the JUMP – but instead of extricating himself from the situation, or at the very least telling her to go F*^K herself, his desire to be wilfully ignorant of what was REALLY going on, led him to burn expensive-ass gas driving some “friend” around town.

Listen bruh, understand that the road to bitterness is paved with wilful ignorance – but the road to balanced happiness is paved with simple self respect.

This Is Your Conscience

When Lincoln Anthony Blades is not writing for his controversial and critically acclaimed blog ThisIsYourConscience.com, he can be found contributing articles for Uptown Magazine. Lincoln wrote the hilarious and insightful book "You're Not A Victim, You're A Volunteer: How To Stop Letting Love Kick Your Ass". He is also a public speaker who has sat on panels all over North America and the Caribbean.


  1. lincolnanthonyblades

    06/13/2012 at 5:10 AM

    Ladies & Gentlemen, Do You Believe That Theo is At Fault In The Clip For Ending Up Mad And Nani-Less? Or Was The Girl Nicole Really Just A Manipulative And Arrogant B*tch?!

    Also, Do You Believe That Bitter Men Are Their Own Worst Enemy, Or Are We Not Giving Enough Credit TO How Devious Some Women Are These Days?

    • NurseJilly

      06/13/2012 at 11:28 AM

      In short, YES. He should have told her flat out HELL NO I won't drive you to some dudes house. That shit is so disrespectful. The second she started taking texts and calls during the date should have been his 1st clue that she wasn't interested.

      • The_Mad_HATER

        06/13/2012 at 12:40 PM

        If a woman checks her phone thats a sign you should start checking yours!!

        • NurseJilly

          06/13/2012 at 12:57 PM


        • A Grown Ass Man

          06/13/2012 at 2:24 PM

          I wouldn't handle it like that, I think a grown man should address that he's not pleased with her behavior and end the date there

          • HerCommonSense

            06/13/2012 at 3:16 PM

            I like this option. Be firm and logical.

        • dddd

          06/18/2012 at 1:27 AM

          if a woman checks her phone anything can be happening on the other end, hell someone could be dying. so saying that, is unreasonable. as for nicole though.. she is sooo dirtttt for thattt. holyyyy

    • Nate

      06/14/2012 at 12:29 PM

      The girl Nicole was completely at Fault! Women are devious and there is no such thing as a bitter man

  2. mena

    06/13/2012 at 7:55 AM

    I will answer your second question. We live in a world where it is fine to take credit for our own happiness and just as fine to extend credit for our misery on someone else. When we are hurt, there is nothing wrong with shielding ourselves a tad. We're animals by nature and when an animal gets hurt and escapes, it will remember to be more careful next time.

    Women are taught that men cheat, that we must do everything to make him stay, etc. so when we get screwed over, a lot of us take the blame, wonder what we did wrong, but will move into the next relationship. We're optomistic to a fault and are taught from day one that if we are a good girl our prince will come. So we keep going and going and going. No man wants an angry woman so we put on a smile and keep it moving. We only become really bitter when the ovaries dry up.

    Men are taught (at least by what I see and hear in songs) that he can cheat, if he does cheat it's in his nature, and that women are there to cater to him. When HE IS READY his princess will be there waiting for his him. So when a dude gets hurt by a woman (bc society set him up to believe that he should be catered to at all costs) crap literally hits the fan. He doesn't self reflect (name one women that doesn't self reflect after a break up) but he starts to ho around. He doesn't heal. He becomes bitter and treats every woman after like she is crap and then in the same breathe says that there are no women in this world that are wifey material (ever notice that wifey material is a 10 in looks and caters to her man's demands ALL THE TIME). He is literrally ENCOURAGED to be an a$$ bc society tells him by being one, panties will fall.

    Women are taught to survive aputty at men will take care of us physically and economically and men are taught that someone will be there to take care of them emotionally.

    Or, men are just way more sensitive than women and when they love, they love hard as h3ll. So when a heartbreak occurs, it literally knocks them off their feet. Men don't like to be weak and love definitely leaves you vulnerable and in a weakened state.

    • Dyquen

      06/13/2012 at 8:42 AM

      I almost co-signed to this but then I finished it… while in western society most men are taught that they are to be catered to not every one is taught this. I sure as hell was taught this. My training started with my mom and ended with my mom, I was raised to do everything myself and not depend on anyone to do it for me. What got me bitter in the past was false hope that my feelings toward her was the same as her's toward me. When in reality i was the one trying my damnedest, in the end I either got friendzoned or that the truth came out that they needed someone to fill in a rough patch for them till it got better. Now I'm over it and I will move on and be optimistic about the next woman, even when I was bitter I never went about life thinking they were all the same type of b*tch and ho, because that would lump all the women in my family into that generalized crap. I was bitter in that while I would give a woman a chance to be in a relationship I would expect the worst and treat her the sh*tty way my ex deserved. When it ended at my fault, I would reflect and see my wrong and do better in the next relationship i get into. Not knocking what you posted, just setting a record that not all men are what you put down here and women don't always roll over and move on. Where do you think the phrase "bitter b*tch" came from? Most if not all women have this disposition that all men cheat, are a$$holes and other crap. It's just that SOME women like SOME men don't let that bs idea hold them down and keep them from hoping for the best.

      • mena

        06/13/2012 at 9:19 AM

        I definitely generalized so don't read so much into it–i did that on purpose. The whole all women are perfect and all men are dogs is just ridiculous and something that i do not agree with at all. Sometimes when you generalize, however, you are able to make a valid point even though it doesn't apply to every single person in every single situation.

      • The_Mad_HATER

        06/13/2012 at 12:45 PM

        real talk!!!

    • The_Mad_HATER

      06/13/2012 at 12:45 PM

      its cuz most men see relationships as pointless and the second we go into one thinking it will be different and it turns out to be exactly what we feared we just believe that relationships are pointless!!

      • mena

        06/13/2012 at 12:58 PM

        Why do you see it as pointless? Do you not want marriage and kids? This is the only way to get to that point. If you don't then that is fine but if you do then your logic doesn't make any sense.

        • A Grown Ass Man

          06/13/2012 at 2:26 PM

          I can't speak for him, but I think many men see relationships not necessarily as pointless, but more as fruitless

          Many men believe that the benefits of a relationship are solely for women, and therefore getting their hearts broken acts as proof for them

          • A Grown Ass Man

            06/13/2012 at 2:26 PM

            Not my outlook on life but just explaining how some men see it

          • mena

            06/13/2012 at 4:29 PM

            This is extremely wayward thinking. The state of the black family is a sad one.

  3. Dyquen

    06/13/2012 at 8:18 AM

    I would say both because, he really did have all the signs from jump street tellin him not to mess with this chick or at least not be her personal driver/free cabbie. But YET still he was blinded by the false "promise" of puna. She was manipulative because women can tell within the first 5mins if she is ever gonna let him hit it or not, or whether he'll just get a one or two time bang just to "scratch" her "itch". And the fact that she knew damn well he was never gonna get none, but used the little gestures (the sultry hand stroke, the batting of the doe eyes, the finger tip tickling of his ear or her own cleavage) sending him false body language signals that she is gonna nail him to a wall just so she can string him along to either fix some financial or transportation need, or as a back up when she has one of those unpretty feeling days and she needs some confirmation that she is still wanted by someone. I've been there too many times to make this up. I was bitter after my ex but now I.D.G.A.F., I understand that everyone occasionally need that validation that we are sexy and desired by someone. That least one person finds us both sexy and attractive, yeah we should have confidence in ourselves, but a trusted second opinion is always valued to confirm what we think of ourselves. I feel that if she had let him know that from the jump he was already friendzoned he would've at least been able to move on without any grudges and he'd still be a friend that she can always count on when she's feeling low to encourage her and make her feel pretty even, if he's just talkin out his ass.

    • mena

      06/13/2012 at 10:53 AM

      "She was manipulative because women can tell within the first 5mins if she is ever gonna let him hit it or not, or whether he'll just get a one or two time bang just to "scratch" her "itch"." Not true btw. Men grow on us. Seriously. Men need looks initially where as women do not. A man can become attractive in our eyes and we don't hold an extremely heavy weight on looks like men do (looks matter just not to the same level). If men aren't sexually attracted from the jump, they won't even approach. Whereas a woman can be approached by a guy she doesn't particularly find physically attractive and still give him a chance.

      • The_Mad_HATER

        06/13/2012 at 12:47 PM

        women need to get their story straight because they are sending two very different signals out there!!

        • mena

          06/13/2012 at 12:57 PM

          I'll simply speak for myself. I have had ok looking dudes go from ok looking to extremely attractive once i got to know their personalities and see the way that they treated me. Again, they grew on me. This happens a lot more than you think. I don't think that an ok looking woman can grow on a man. Please correct me if i am wrong. If you don't see yourself hitting it from the very beginning (nothing wrong with this since sex is very important), you won't even approach her let alone ask for a date to get to know her. Woman give ok looking dudes chances since he took the time to actually ask us out in the first place.

  4. The_Mad_HATER

    06/13/2012 at 12:47 PM

    that dude deserved everything he got!! his boys were telling him not to drive her and he still did it!! he aint never getting no nani from nicole!!

  5. HerCommonSense

    06/13/2012 at 3:18 PM

    If Theo respected himself and his time, he wouldn't have allowed himself to waste gas, time and energy the way he did.

  6. Pingback: Bitter….Party For One!! « From Ashy to Classy

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