As y’all should know (since I’ve been promoting the HELL out of it), this Sunday I will be speaking at the Battle Of The Sexes event here in Toronto and we will be discussing chivalry and debating if it’s dead or not. I already foresee a large part of this discussion being focused around first dates and the etiquette surrounding being on one, so I would like to drop this science on y’all RIGHT now, so you’re not surprised when I repeat it: If you find yourself on a TERRIBLE date (like the one in the video below), get up and WALK OUT because your time is precious and NO ONE deserves to steal even a SECOND from you.
Even before I launched ThisIsYourConscience.com, I have been frequently inundated with requests from friends, family members and even acquaintences to provide them with, what they believe to be, sage relationship advice. For the most part I am more than willing to lend my two cents to anyone going through some tough dating times – EXCEPT when someone approaches me on the vibe that they want to complain about how HORRIBLE their date last night was. The second I find out that they stayed on a date for exactly 3 minutes after their mind, body and soul NOTIFIED them that this loser across the table wasn’t worth sh*t – and they STAYED – my only response to them is: “Stop this story and shut the F*^K Up.”
Sounds harsh? Well it shouldn’t sound harsh to anyone, because the simple fact of dating is this: If the date absolutely, 100%, irreconcilably TANKS, you should pick your ass up, say your goodnight and walk your ass up and through the door – and if you DON’T do that, you are an IDIOT. You’re STUPID for putting yourself through unnecessary pain which you could alleviate by just doing, what I call, the Bad Date Walk Out.
Now I have written a couple times on the ILLS of traditional-dating and how STUPID I think the whole thing is, such as THIS ARTICLE HERE. I even touched on how you should be prepared to meet your date at a predetermined location and NOT arrive together, so you are both free to leave whenever you want LIKE I WROTE HERE. And that’s what I’m going to expand on now.
When the date goes completely south and can’t be saved, Ladies you should look over at that dude and say “You know what? I’m going to hit the road, it was nice meeting you, but I don’t think this is working out.” Don’t be demonstrative, or ignorant or act like a complete c*nt, just bounce. Fellas, you should look over at ol’ girl and hit her with “Excuse me miss, it was real, but I’m gonna head outta here, take care of yourself” and skedaddle. The reality is, the person you were on the date with would probably not even be THAT shocked, because unless they were psychotic, they should understand and FEEL your personal level of disgust and horror with them.
But why don’t MORE people walk out? Because you think it makes you look like a DOUCHEBAG and you feel riding the entire date out is being “nice”. But you’re wrong because riding the date out is just giving that person false hope, which makes you an even BIGGER douche. I believe in Bad Date Euthanasia: Putting a bullet directly into the heart of that date to put it out of its suffering and misery. Bad date Euthanasia is especially important for women to use, because men will NOT initiate ending the date because even if the entire night sucked, he’s still hoping he can rope in some nani.
People listen very carefully, You do NOT have to suffer through a long-ass evening of BS if you don’t want to – you’re at dinner not a Concentration Camp. Please look around the restaurant for barbed wire and snipers standing in Watch Towers. You won’t see any – and that’s because you’re at Appleby’s not Auschwitz.
This Is Your Conscience