Being Loyal To Your ‘UNOFFICIAL’ Man Makes You OFFICIALLY An IDIOT

I have a confession to make: I am officially becoming a Tumblr addict. I heard that sh*t can get addictive, and for the first couple years of being signed up to it and never checking it, I wrote that comment off as complete BULLSH*T. But since getting into it in the last 6 months or so, I am HOOKED. I love seeing everything from the fashion pics to the hardcore, nut-busting pr0n – but there is ONE part I can do without: The preachy, sanctimonious and painfully pathetic thoughts people photoshop over pictures in a lame attempt to seem “brooding and deep” (which for some reason typically have Wiz Khalifa’s face in the background like that pothead actually said that sh*t, because he has some intrinsic knowledge of the human condition that the REST of us DON’T). But it’s that picture above, that made me FINALLY have to speak out and say “stop the F*^KING madness bruh.”

I want every man and woman reading this post to take a second to carefully read what that picture is promoting and then REALLY think about what the hell it MEANS. Honestly, because of where I’m at in my life [trending more towards Dave Hollister than Eric Benet], I’m going to call this BS out, but if I was still in Predator Mode I would LOVE this picture.

See, I would LOVE it because it would help me keep STUPID women trapped in SITUATION-ships with me instead of actual relationships (which I didn’t want back then) and allow me to mentally manipulate them into not just continually giving me NANI, but also by giving me their heart and remaining “faithful” to me – while I smashed different women every other night. I also would LOVE this picture because of how so many women I see are reacting to it. I saw this on Instagram with hundreds of likes FROM WOMEN, and thousands of reblogs on Tumblr FROM WOMEN. Ladies, if you support the message behind this damn picture you are a SUCKER, who’s about to have her heart and nani taken on a musty-ass ride by a frowsy-ass man – and it will ALL be YOUR fault in the end.

But seeing where I am presently in my life, I have no problem in revealing the true-douchebaggery of this message: Ladies, if a man hasn’t made your relationship OFFICIAL, he doesn’t deserve one second of your loyalty, and you can be damn sure you aren’t getting one second of his either. Like I’ve said a MILLION times, the reason you will ALWAYS see more women than men with relationship statuses claiming “It’s Complicated” is because it’s never really that complicated to men. Either we’re together or we’re NOT together. And like I’ve wrote on this blog before, women who only believe in DATING one man at a time are RIDICULOUS and only hurting themselves, but if she’s also being LOYAL to him, that just makes her officially an IDIOT.

F*^K an unverified, unsubstantiated, non-committal-ass SITUATION-ship, and understand that a man who TRULY cares about you will COURT you, and see that you are SO OFFICIAL, he NEEDS to make you OFFICIALLY his.

This Is Your Conscience

Ladies, the dating game has changed – and so should you. Check this book out for a great read:

When Lincoln Anthony Blades is not writing for his controversial and critically acclaimed blog, he can be found contributing articles for Uptown Magazine. Lincoln wrote the hilarious and insightful book "You're Not A Victim, You're A Volunteer: How To Stop Letting Love Kick Your Ass". He is also a public speaker who has sat on panels all over North America and the Caribbean.


  1. lincolnanthonyblades

    07/31/2012 at 5:54 AM

    Ladies & Gentlemen, Do You Believe That There Are Unique Circumstances That Could Justify The Quote Above??

    • J. A. Johnson

      07/31/2012 at 9:39 AM

      Nothing whatsoever can validate the quote above. I've seen that so many times with female friends of mine (that didn't want to listen to me), females I went after (and had to laugh at when they told me their situation), and random females on Twitter. I will forever be amused by females that think being loyal to a guy that doesn't claim them makes them someone to be with. IT DOESN'T. It makes you less attractive. To me it says you're not only an idiot and proud of it, but you're ready to screw your future over because you're stuck on a guy that's not stuck on you..not to mention the emotional baggage you're going to bring after it ends with dude. Then while he's digging other girls out and you're ranting on Twitter about being mad at him or hurt….I WILL DIE OF LAUGHTER WITH EVERY TWEET lol. Yeah…I'm a bit evil…but people need to stop being idiots. And trust…I do call people out on Twitter that say that quote. I make sure they don't spread that ignorant mess on my TL.

      • mena

        07/31/2012 at 9:50 AM

        Some lessons need to be learned through hard experiences.

        • J. A. Johnson

          07/31/2012 at 10:02 AM

          I know everyone is different, but few lessons have I learned from my own hardships. Only the most important. We should all be able to learn a lesson from the results of others around us or those within sight (tv, news, etc). But that would be a perfect world…

          • mena

            07/31/2012 at 10:41 AM

            That would be a perfect world. I have been the same way. I hate when people say you need experience in X, Y, and Z to get it right and understand pain and hardships. No, sometimes you don't. You can learn by keeping your eyes open and learning from others. I don't need to put myself in a messed up relationship to appreciate a good man. I don't need to do drugs to understand the effects that they have on you physically and mentally.

            However, for some people, they must experience hardships of their own doing in order to appreciate being stress free.

          • ChloeRayne516

            07/31/2012 at 12:01 PM

            "However, for some people, they must experience hardships of their own doing in order to appreciate being stress free. "

            these are the people who FEEL they are different or their situation is different so think they will have a better outcome; to people like this I always say "Let Em Live" #YOLO!!!! they will learn the hard way.

          • mena

            07/31/2012 at 12:23 PM

            Yes. It sucks though when it is happening to someone you care about. That's when it hits home. The person i want to call an idiot is now someone that i love and want to see succeed but you have to "let em live."

          • Raven

            10/23/2015 at 9:32 PM

            Yep. I did- finally ended my situationship.."I's free now!" But it's good though – I learned a lot that will make me a better Me to bring to the REAL relationship. Dude still blowing me up though, lol. Probably wondering what happened. I got a clue and he got NC'd. No thank you -I don't want anymore crumbs…

          • kema

            07/31/2012 at 12:07 PM

            "However, for some people, they must experience hardships of their own doing in order to appreciate being stress free. "

            Unfortunately I am one of those people. lol!

            Mena I love your posts!!

          • mena

            07/31/2012 at 12:21 PM

            Thanks Kema! I see you on VSB too. :-)

        • NurseJilly

          07/31/2012 at 10:45 AM

          I agree to an extent, but this is one situation that should be sorted out in your teens/ early twenties. I see grown ass women with this mentality, that silliness is inexcusable.

          • mena

            07/31/2012 at 11:17 AM

            I am agreeing with you. What i am saying is that some people need to learn by going through hardships. That's the only way that anyone would cosign the crap in the picture. They don't know how immature and stupid they are yet. I personally take loyalty too seriously to just give it away.

          • NurseJilly

            07/31/2012 at 1:05 PM

            "I personally take loyalty too seriously to just give it away."… Well said:)

          • lincolnanthonyblades

            07/31/2012 at 1:38 PM

            I See Grown Ass Women In Their 30's Still Going Living With This Mentality.

        • lincolnanthonyblades

          07/31/2012 at 1:36 PM

          Fool Me Once Shame On You, Fool Me Twice Shame On Me.

      • lincolnanthonyblades

        07/31/2012 at 1:30 PM

        And I Say "CHURCH!"

      • iluvwhoiluv

        07/31/2012 at 4:39 PM

        Speak on it J.A.

    • NurseJilly

      07/31/2012 at 10:29 AM


    • Keyla

      08/02/2012 at 3:41 PM

      I really liked this one, cosign 100%

  2. petersburgh

    07/31/2012 at 6:48 AM

    I'm not so sure they are any but I guess that's because I haven't looked so deep into it. When I was a teen I used to think like that. If I liked a girl I wouldn't pay anyone else mind regardless of if the girl liked me in return. The Ills of youth smh.

    I don't believe in it now because it's like giving the bronze winner the gold medal because he was more determined. I had a friend who was in situation like this where she was dating this guy, it wasn't official, they were humping like two rabbits but she came back home for summer. I told her don't think for a second that you HAVE to be loyal to him because it isn't official. I didn't tell her to go humping whoever just like that but until a commitment is made, I don't think you are obligated to anyone. That's just me

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      07/31/2012 at 1:39 PM

      Real Talk.

      I'm NOT Advocating Women Sleep With Multiple Men And Have Multiple Boyfriends, But You Should Be Open And Free To Date Whoever You Like Until You Have A Commitment.

  3. Smilez_920

    07/31/2012 at 6:55 AM

    Thank you Linc. I think this is apart of that whole ride or die scenario. If you want all the benefits of being in a relationship then a relationship is what we need to be working on. Most of the time in these situation ships the woman is waiting for the man to "settle down" while he is just enjoying having consistent nani and a hot plate while still having the option to screw other ppl with no repercussions.

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      07/31/2012 at 1:41 PM

      Agreed. It's Pathetic Because I Thought The Big Thing Was Women Not Playing House Until They Are Married – But Now There Are Women Playing House Out Here Without Even Being The Official Girlfriend??! Seriously?!

      • ChloeRayne516

        07/31/2012 at 2:11 PM


        So women are out here now (cooking/cleaning/fcuking and sucking/ATM'ing) the whole nine just to remain part of a dude's rotation??!!! Like REALLY!!?? FOR REAL??


        • lincolnanthonyblades

          07/31/2012 at 2:52 PM

          YESSS! That's How Pathetic It's Become!

          • Smielz_920

            07/31/2012 at 4:42 PM

            We all make mistakes but, grown ads women not teenagers are doing this and don't realize why they are not where they want to be relationship wise. This is what happens when women are striving to be wifey when they really want to be a wife.

            I guess to each it's own.

          • lincolnanthonyblades

            07/31/2012 at 6:07 PM


    • iluvwhoiluv

      07/31/2012 at 4:41 PM

      Women are putting "ride or die" on men who are quick to roll out.

  4. MistaHarsh

    07/31/2012 at 11:14 AM

    that phrase falls under the same category as "it ain't trickin if you got it", telling an eye witness to "stop snitchin" etc etc

    the messed up part is that it wasn't too long ago when we knew better and you'd get laughed at if you promoted that bs. How can public opinion drastically change in so little time? WTH happened?

    • mena

      07/31/2012 at 11:18 AM

      People stopped understanding their self worth.

      • lincolnanthonyblades

        07/31/2012 at 1:42 PM

        Naw It's A Lot More Complex Than That, But It Definitely Plays An Important Role.

        • iluvwhoiluv

          07/31/2012 at 4:42 PM

          You should do a follow up…why did public opinion change on this issue–make for an interesting topic.

          • lincolnanthonyblades

            07/31/2012 at 6:07 PM

            I'm Actually Writing A Book That Delves Into This

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      07/31/2012 at 1:41 PM

      That Last Question Is Actually The Point Of The Book I'm Writing!

      • MistaHarsh

        07/31/2012 at 3:25 PM

        Word…its an untapped subject. I gotta start putting more energy in writing…

  5. Adonis

    08/01/2012 at 11:00 AM

    Lincoln, women understand this, because they date men OUT. OF. THEIR. LEAGUE.

    And deal with the consequence of said actions. Jumpoff Island. Match made in heaven

  6. Trinity Melyssia

    03/27/2013 at 10:29 AM

    I think that quote was ment for the Highschool genre. I know that as a girl with only guy friends, a high school boy today is waiting to find that girl who will be official even when its not. if she is, then it shows him what she'll be like once they are official. The same is for the girl, she waits for the guy who is willing to push off every other girl when she IS or ISN'T around. its that guy she hears about from people she didn't know watched. Its being able to say that, when its unofficial- its building trust. No relationship can last without trust. If he's willing to let HOES go to be with her even when they arent together yet, then hes right for the moment.

  7. Meera

    11/09/2014 at 4:10 AM

    The problem with women like this is that women that don't dish out loyalty don't get any attention. Guys are lazy these days. They'll hang out with any girl that is "easy" and won't put in any effort with a girl that requires work to acquire.

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