Dating Someone With Kids? Here’s How You Can Tell If You Should Get SERIOUS

Man up little nigga - daddy's too busy with his h0es in different area codes

Let’s be honest: As we all get older, the reality of dating someone with children from a previous relationship is a fact of life that most of us may have to eventually accept. While some people have problems with this, there are many people out there who are comfortable with dating a single parent, locking them down and building a serious life together. But here’s the one thing that too many people fail to acknowledge when they find themselves in this dating scenario: How your date treats their children is an insight into how they will treat any child you BOTH produce TOGETHER.

With that said, if you are looking to be in a serious relationship, and you are open to dating someone with kids, you NEED to watch HOW that person interacts with their children, because that will be a HUGE insight into what title is acceptable for you to give that person in the long run.

For example, yesterday I read a sad-ass article HERE about how Dwayne Wade’s ex-wife Siohvaughn just had her 12th lawyer QUIT on her in her child-custody case with Dwayne Wade, citing irreconcilable differences. This may sound messed up to you, but the first thing I thought was “damn – I could NEVER see ANY sane man being in a SERIOUS relationship with this woman EVER.” Now I’m sure she has redeeming characteristics, but the reality is that she is a crazy chick who kidnaps her children, makes up lies about them in order to sue their fathers new girlfriend and uses them against him every chance she can get. OBVIOUSLY I DON’T know the entire story, but regardless of what he may have put her through, she is unfit to do anything more than be a F*^K-BUDDY for any new man that comes into her life.

I am a HUGE proponent of the ideology that how you begin a relationship is how it will end, and if you combine that thought with another truism, “when somebody shows you who they really are, believe them”, it equates into my beliefs about single parents and their treatment of their children. Dudes, if you meet a woman who stays dipped in red bottoms and high fashion clothing, but her son ain’t got but three outfits in his closet, cussing bad words and trying to emulate BS he saw in uncensored rap videos at recess during junior kindergarten, like:

Then the reality is that’s EXACTLY how YOUR kids with her are gonna end up, which means you should either BOUNCE or relegate her to nothing more than jump-off status and make sure that condom is strapped on with duct tape and adhesive.

Ladies, if you are dating a single father who either A) is NOT a part of his children’s lives or B) carelessly reproduces so much that he has to announce his children to you like this:

Then you need to either avoid that man like HIV, or relegate his ass to the friend zone. If he has so many baby mamas and/or children he doesn’t see, what makes you think that when YOU TWO get serious, your relationship will end up being any different?

This Is Your Conscience

When Lincoln Anthony Blades is not writing for his controversial and critically acclaimed blog ThisIsYourConscience.com, he can be found contributing articles for Uptown Magazine. Lincoln wrote the hilarious and insightful book "You're Not A Victim, You're A Volunteer: How To Stop Letting Love Kick Your Ass". He is also a public speaker who has sat on panels all over North America and the Caribbean.

13 Comments

  1. lincolnanthonyblades

    07/13/2012 at 5:46 AM

    Ladies & Gentlemen, Do You Think That How Someone Treats Their Child(ren) From A Previous Relationship Is An Accurate Indicator Of How They Will Treat Their Future Children In Their Next Relationship? Or Do You Think That's Just A General Myth?

  2. petersburgh

    07/13/2012 at 6:40 AM

    I believe it is generally accurate but the fact that some people are getting children so young maybe sometimes it's just their immaturity. For example a person who has a 4 year old kid at 20 may still want to party hard so they will leave the kid home with granny. You see them out all the time so you may say their irresponsible etc. 5 years down the line they grow up and realise they have a duty to not only watch their child grow but to play a significant part in their upbringing. The person you met at 25 isn't the same you met at 20 in this case but it doesn't always happen that way.

    • ChloeRayne516

      07/13/2012 at 11:51 AM

      Cosign…

      Honestly, this is usually what happens, and the fact maybe mommy or daddy were going through some thangs which may have caused them to be not such a good parent at that time– it doesn't mean they are forever doomed to be deemed A BAD PARENT.

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      07/13/2012 at 3:14 PM

      Hmmm, I Agree And Disagree At The Same Time. Me And My Friends Live By The Phrase That "If A Child Doesn't Change You, Somethings Either Very RIGHT With You OR Very WRONG."

      The 20 Year Old Clubbing On A Weeknight With A 4 Year Old Is Still Not A Great Ideal Of A Parent To Me. And I Wouldn't Trust Having Kids With That Person At 25.

  3. Shaun

    07/13/2012 at 9:23 AM

    Quit reading my mind. That's all I'm gonna say about this post.

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      07/13/2012 at 3:12 PM

      Thanks For Reading!

  4. Vicky

    07/13/2012 at 10:18 AM

    "make sure that condom is strapped on with duct tape and adhesive." <——LMAO!!!!!!!

    It really depends on the man and their previous situation. There are several of men who lost count how many kids they actually have. I find these scenarios amusing. To see some flavour of the week who happens to get knocked up after 1-2 months of dating and then starts acting like a fool because he is done with her like (slashing tires and all – I see it all the time with someone in my neighbourhood).

    Then there are some men who cannot be the father of their child due to the baby mamma drama through no fault of their own (aside from not wanting to be with that woman). Doesn't mean that they will be horrible should you breed with them, the just happened to find themselves a "Siohvaughn"

    • NurseJilly

      07/13/2012 at 12:41 PM

      I see what your saying but any man that had a child with someone so randomly is not someone I want to be with anyway. I don't particularly care whether she said she was on birth control and "trapped him" or what ever other excuse there may be. Truth be told no one is trapped in my opinion unless its some poking holes in the condom/ turkey baster craziness…Other than that wrap it up if you don't want a baby period.

      • Vicky

        07/13/2012 at 12:53 PM

        I would put the men you are describing in the first paragraph. Those men, I would have ran from them myself!

        • lincolnanthonyblades

          07/13/2012 at 3:17 PM

          Get Your Usain On!

          • Vicky

            07/13/2012 at 3:49 PM

            LOL

      • lincolnanthonyblades

        07/13/2012 at 3:16 PM

        Co-Sign!

  5. Scorpio1189

    07/13/2012 at 8:53 PM

    My father had four children by three different women, which he married two of them. After the divorce of the second and third women, he was limited visitation rights to his children. The women also allowed my father to not paid for child support. When he met my mother, he told her that he had four children prior to their relationship.
    My mother took an extremely risk and gave my father a chance. My mom was 24 when she became pregnant with me, my father was 37. To make the story short, although my father had not been in his oldest children lives regularly, he has ALWAYS BEEN in my live and my two younger siblings. I am 23, brother 21, and sister 15, he has not ever thought about leaving us. He does not live in the household and I do not consider my mother a single parent because my father does everything he can to support, provide, and guide my siblings and me.
    So I believe it is a general myth in some cases, for example, my mother and father. I am not naive so I would say everyone is not so lucky.

    PS: My mother is the only baby mother who FILED child support on my father and he is proudly to pay every month. lol if you only knew.

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