I got two friends in a long term, [seemingly] monogamous relationship with a beautiful child and a great home. Whenever they throw birthday parties for their son, they look happy as hell and give off the image of the perfect couple – until you witness how they act alone. If you were to walk into their house on a random night, you would find them sitting on the couch, while he plays video games and she watches, and their phones would both be on opposite sides of the couch – locked and fully password protected. In fact, they get up and leave the room if they have to actually talk to someone, and if either one of them touches the others phone – it’s about to be a real live Worldstarhiphop fight compilation.
Knowing all of this, I was NOT entirely surprised when dude told me that they haven’t been happy for a minute and are just staying together for the kid’s sake [which is STUPID – but that’s another topic for another day]. They don’t really trust each other, they don’t communicate effectively and they SUCK at resolving problems in their relationship. These were problems from when they first started dating, and they simply were never corrected and became large issues, and the fact that they NEVER could operate around each other without their phones being locked has always been a sign [and symptom] of that.
When these two met, his phone was always locked because he was still smashing chicks on the side so he obviously didn’t want her to find out, and she kept hers locked because her and her friends had a lot of ratchet ass convos that she didn’t want ANYONE to be privy to. As the relationship got more serious, both of their phones stayed locked and out of the room convo’s became the norm. But then problems started to occur. And when BULLSH*T started to occur, the locked phones and private talking only exacerbated an already tense-ass situation.
Now some of y’all reading this might think I’m REACHING with that one, but I think it’s a lot of YOU who are under-reacting and being extremely naive about this issue. This is NOT 1982, 1992 or 2002 – this is 2012, where smart phones have not only become daily, hourly and second-to-second NECESSITIES, but they have also become an EXTENSION of our INTRINSIC SELVES. Our cell phones are the lifeblood of not only our communication with close friends and family, but it has become the SOLE-SUSTAINING FORCE of MANY of our friendships [Ask a Blackberry user what happens when someone they BBM a lot gets an iPhone]. The reality is our phones are an important part of our lives, and when we protectively and guardedly RESTRICT our significant other from even glancing at the phones direction, we are letting THAT person know that we DON’T want them to be privy to an important part of our lives [plus we look like we got a lot of sh*t to hide too].
Now if you are like me, you use your phone for work purposes, so you may lock your phone for professional reasons. If that’s you, then you have nothing to really worry about because it’s NOT just about simply locking your phone – it’s about obsessively keeping your partner OUT of your business. If that’s what you are doing, then you need to rethink being in a relationship with that person, because there ain’t NOTHING like an ‘Unlocked Cell Relationship.’ That might sound corny to y’all, but believe ME it is such a stress free and AMAZING feeling to be with someone who you can talk around, text around and even let them answer the phone for you without any RATCHET-results.
This Is Your Conscience