ILLITERACY Is NOT Sexy At ALL

Sometimes I have moments in life which make me think “Damn, am I really getting OLD?” and I had a moment like that not too long ago surfing Twitter recently. I came across a young, gorgeous girl’s profile picture and I saw a tall, gorgeous, dark-skin woman with a short-Halle Berry cut, dimples and a Bria Myles body. I definitely don’t mind paying an attractive woman a compliment so I wrote her a nice, quick message to which she responded: “Thanks booboo, it aints juss fear-skinnded girls that are sexy neither.” I REALLY wish I just made that up instead of copying and pasting what she ACTUALLY typed.

But what happened next was the real interesting thing: I deleted the message and kept it moving. To any woman reading this, you might be saying ‘Duh, she’s obviously a mental midget’ but the men out there will understand how large of a gesture that is, because we DON’T [typically] lock a SEXY girl off because of bad grammar – that seems INSANE. I don’t know if this is just a sign of age or maturity, but there is something about being highly illiterate that instantly deflates my erection.

Now understand, I’m not talking about nit-picking common grammatical errors or misspellings. I actually find grammar-nazi’s who over analyze someone’s one-letter spelling missteps on Facebook, Twitter, Text, E-mail, etc. to be highly ridiculous. Like “OMG, you spelled perspicacity with two a’s – you’re an IDIOT!” It’s not about nit-picking, it’s about HIGH-LEVEL illiteracy – when you know a grown-a*s adult with adequate access to a 1st-world education, continually abuses proper syntax, it just becomes – UGLY. And once again, I’m not talking about PH.D level grammar mistakes, we’re talking about sh*t that would get your monkey-a*s kicked off the first round of Are You Smarter Than A Fifth-Grader.

Some people will accuse me of being a pretentious douche for analyzing someone’s grammatical prowess on Twitter [seemingly in the same manner I just decried others for doing] and say “it’s not a school essay, they are just typing, geez don’t be so serious.” But let me explain the difference in what I’m saying: It’s not about stressing over a couple letters typed in the wrong place, it’s about the general apathy towards education and intellectualism on a whole that I find ugly as hell, and it manifests itself much clearer in someone’s RAPE of their respective language. I’m sure THIS article might be full of grammar mistakes, but, not to toot my own horn, I’m FAR from illiterate.

But my point has advanced to not only seeing illiterate women as highly unattractive, but literate and verbose women are seeming a lot more sexier than ever before. Obviously that’s within limits, because Macy Gray’s mastery of the dangling participle is not going to make me forget she looks like Carlos Boozer. BUT with that said, I think it’s time we start promoting the positives of literacy, if for no other reason than just letting cute girls know they should avoid going from dimepiece to short-bus status in one sentence.

This Is Your Conscience

When Lincoln Anthony Blades is not writing for his controversial and critically acclaimed blog ThisIsYourConscience.com, he can be found contributing articles for Uptown Magazine. Lincoln wrote the hilarious and insightful book "You're Not A Victim, You're A Volunteer: How To Stop Letting Love Kick Your Ass". He is also a public speaker who has sat on panels all over North America and the Caribbean.

44 Comments

  1. Tisha

    03/11/2011 at 9:36 AM

    No, you are not old. I have had some conversations with people where I had to seriously question if they even went to kindergarten. Talking like that does not make you look cute, it makes you look like a fool

    • ATLienSince82

      03/11/2011 at 11:50 AM

      Next thing you know you find out the nigga is a rapper and it all makes sense lol

  2. lincolnanthonyblades

    03/11/2011 at 9:42 AM

    So Ladies And Gentlemen, Do You Find Illiteracy Plays A Part In Your Attraction Of Lack Thereof In Members Of The Opposite Sex? Or Do You Simply Not Give A DAMN?

    • Kam

      03/11/2011 at 9:59 AM

      For me it would certainly be a red flag and it would depend greatly if the individual spoke like that in person vs Facebook/Twitter. If they could not formulate a coherent sentence in person then to me yes that's unattractive and that would end any idea of seeing them as a potential partner.

      • The_Mad_HATER

        03/11/2011 at 6:52 PM

        girl stop lying! you know you given some dumb niggas the crotches!

        • Kam

          03/13/2011 at 8:47 PM

          Sweetie I don't know about the dumb a*ses you sleep and associate with but I hold myself at a higher standard thank you.

    • Kizzy

      03/11/2011 at 11:40 AM

      It DOES…and sometimes I HATE that it does!

      I hate going on a date with a fine, sexy ass man and you are feeling him and ready to give him some…and then he opens his mouth and says something so stupid the nani just goes completely dry..

      smh

    • Crystal Promo-Fernandez

      03/11/2011 at 11:56 AM

      SOME OF US LADIES AIN'T BEIN' REAL RIGHT NOW!

      I may be the weird one here, but I think it can actually increase his sexiness to type with a little 'too cool for school' swag…like I can appreciate the intellect of a man who can type:

      "Good evening, I just would like to let you know that your picture is awe-inspiring. FULL STOP. Maybe sometime if you are not previously engaged, we can get together at a location within both of our proximities at a mutually-beneficial time."

      Sometimes you want a man to just type some mess like:

      "Look gurl, I'mma holla at you later when you done working out and all dat, then imma cum over and work dat ass out some mo"

      <wipes sweat>

      • MzDebbieFields

        03/11/2011 at 12:03 PM

        OMG! I completely agree!!

      • MistaHarsh

        03/11/2011 at 2:51 PM

        But that's slang! And its purposefully done. Now what if he wrote this:

        look gril, I'mma holla at you lighter went you done working out and all dat, than imma cum over and work dat as out somoa.

        …still sexy?

        • Independent Woman

          03/11/2011 at 4:44 PM

          Exactly…wallowing in niggerishness is never sexy!

          I will take Morris Chestnut in The Brothers over Fredro Starr in Sunset Park any day of the week!

        • Crystal Promo-Fernandez

          03/11/2011 at 6:43 PM

          LOL!! Maybe not so much!

        • petersburgh

          07/26/2012 at 6:32 AM

          lol

        • Neil

          07/26/2012 at 9:58 AM

          ROTFL like a muggg! Lolol

        • bornscorpion

          07/26/2012 at 11:07 PM

          Lol EXACTLY!

      • The_Mad_HATER

        03/11/2011 at 6:52 PM

        thank you for keeping it real crystal!

    • MistaHarsh

      03/11/2011 at 12:20 PM

      I'll excuse it if it's bad grammer in spiech because theirs less time to edit speech in a conversayzon. But when you twit/post/send or simply right a message you have unlimbeted time too proofreed and revu what you rote before you let the ho world see it.
      Unless you don't give a fuq about first empressings you'll make sure a level of intellegents is a stablished when you communicate wif someone for the first tyme.

      I think its a sign of our age and maturity. 10 years ago I'd pursue based on the physical but now if my confidence is shakier than Bosh's bottom lip after a loss in your ability to write/read a business letter you aints the you for me.

      • ddddddd

        03/11/2011 at 4:08 PM

        bosh bottom lip HAHAHHAAHAH

      • Independent Woman

        03/11/2011 at 4:45 PM

        Shakier than Bosh's sexuality is more like it.

    • petersburgh

      07/26/2012 at 6:36 AM

      It does play a part in attraction and anyone who says differently probably are not unlike the person they attract. Sometimes things fall through the cracks but generally, most people pay attention to things like that especially if they are looking for a serious date. If someone knows they just want to smash and bounce, they may forgo things like that

    • curious georgina

      07/26/2012 at 11:50 AM

      Just curious- why did you describe her skin tone? I understand people who do this, I really don't.

    • n0labels

      07/26/2012 at 1:22 PM

      It definitely plays a part in mine. To see someone look so fabulous and when you see the person's response or hear them talk not quite match, it's really sad. For me, it deflates the attraction right away.

    • Adonis

      07/26/2012 at 2:37 PM

      Please send that girls Twitter this way! LMAO

  3. Kizzy

    03/11/2011 at 11:41 AM

    Talking, typing, texting it's all bad if you are making horrible mistakes and basking in your ignorance. Not a good look at all.

  4. Dee

    03/11/2011 at 12:42 PM

    Illiteracy is a major turn off!!! Once you reach a certain age you should be able to form proper sentences and use the right verb agreement. I don't have time to try and figure out what the hell you are trying to say, whether its s compliment or not because you decided to make up your own language!

  5. ATLienSince82

    03/11/2011 at 11:49 AM

    Aight i will admit that us A-Town folk sometimes type the way we talk too much like:

    gurl – girl
    finna – Fixing to
    talmbout – talking about

    But dammit we can't help it all the time…But when I see some real country folk typing whole letters like that it makes me say 'damn you just set the south back another couple of decades'

  6. ATLienSince82

    03/11/2011 at 11:50 AM

    Plus thats a major sign of youth too….thats what's hot to little kids not adults..

    • MzDebbieFields

      03/11/2011 at 12:03 PM

      I think it also depends on how bad the mistakes are…some are passable..

  7. A Grown Ass Man

    03/11/2011 at 12:06 PM

    My brother you are just maturing, it's as simple as that.

    Once you become mature, things like running up in any ol' loose nani is cool as long as you are getting it. But when you mature, you realize that it's only important to get with a woman that you can respect on all levels, mind, body and soul.

    That connection doesn't work if the mind is deficient, no matter how fine the body is.

  8. Independent Woman

    03/11/2011 at 12:11 PM

    This is a post i ENCOURAGE all women to read, because too many of us educated young black women stand for too much ignorance in the men we date. It is up to us to let them know it's not acceptable and talking like Chris Rock in CB4 will get your sorry-ass kicked to the curb.

  9. amonet9

    03/11/2011 at 1:28 PM

    It depends…

    If I'm thinkin more on the line of this man/woman sure make my honeypot moist BUT I already know I have little intention on doing much more than getting my rocks off, more than likely I'm going to let it slide.
    However, if I am pursuant to something more than a smash n' dash showing a lack of literacy know how or just a lack of intellectualism is a sure way to get hit with blank stare proceded by a coonish type excuse as to why I can't continue this convo… that especially goes for anyone above the age of 12 using symbols and code as acceptable substitutes for regular words!

    • Independent Woman

      03/11/2011 at 4:46 PM

      Even in a "smash and dash" why would you subject yourself to hearing the voice of a grown man who forms sentences like a 4 year old?!

      • amonet9

        03/11/2011 at 5:05 PM

        I never said I would.

        I simply said that for that particular purpose, and in that particular instance I am willing to turn a blind eye to things that I wouldn't normally.

        As ass backward as this may sound, not every man or woman I have ever/will ever sleep with will be #takeittothealter material and being fully comfortable in that knowledge I know that sometime a dick is just a dick, and a puss just a puss not someone for fireside chats or long coffee dates. This isn't lowering my standards, it's being practical with my time.

  10. Lina

    03/11/2011 at 3:25 PM

    oh man, i have some texts saved on my computer from this one dude, who was just awful. Using "steal" for "still", "through" for "threw" (at least he knew a big word lol), and whole host of other mistakes. when i replied to him, i would use the word correctly or show him the right word to use, but that never seemed to work. i just lost a lot of respect for him – if i'm clowning you to my parents and reading your off texts to them, it's a wrap.

    • Independent Woman

      03/11/2011 at 4:47 PM

      Please tell me you didn't sleep with that fool…

    • Crystal Promo-Fernandez

      03/11/2011 at 6:43 PM

      He just sounds like pure unadulterated dumbass!!

    • bornscorpion

      07/26/2012 at 11:31 PM

      In relation to the article, I understand his sentiment and totally agree. Not to be a Debbie Downer… however all jokes aside let's be mindful of those who may have learning disabilities in language and/or writing skills — such as dyslexia — and can't help it. Syntax errors (such as those you've described in your guy friend) are more so indicative to a learning disability vs. willful ignorance.

  11. poediddly

    03/24/2011 at 3:17 PM

    Im a dude and it unattractive for someone over 20 to be doing that.

    I cant stand grown women that type "lik dis all d tyme nahmeans,illy??doe..Lolerz!!!11" or talk like a hoodrat and curse nonstop.Grow the fuck up,seriously.

  12. Dan

    08/22/2011 at 1:58 PM

    The question is, what's your threshold?

    For example, in your statement, you used "its s" instead of "it's a". Does that make you illiterate, or is it just a mistake?

  13. Marie

    07/26/2012 at 12:34 PM

    You wrong as hell for that Macy Gray Comment!!! LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!

  14. dimmabl

    07/29/2012 at 12:20 AM

    There are certain things I like that are "wrong" for me to like, but illiteracy is not one of them. I don't think that bad speech or writing skills means a person is necessarily stupid, life is tough and people make bad decisions, but even with the understanding that I might actually be able to have an intelligent conversation with you, if you sound ignant I can't go there with you.

  15. Japanese xxx

    07/28/2013 at 1:19 AM

    Awesome website you have here but I was wondering if you knew of any message boards that
    cover the same topics discussed in this article? I’d really love to be a part of online community where I can get comments from other experienced individuals that share the same interest. If you have any suggestions, please let me know. Cheers!

  16. nudest

    11/21/2013 at 4:34 AM

    Simply wish to say your article is as amazing. The clearness in your post is simply
    spectacular and i can assume you are an expert on this subject.
    Well with your permission let me to grab your feed to keep updated with forthcoming
    post. Thanks a million and please keep up the rewarding work.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>