It’s EASY To Find A Man – If You Have NO Standards

She may have a lot of dudes around - but that doesn't mean they are QUALITY..

I have a homegirl who is really beautiful, successful, intelligent, a great writer, an entrepreneur, has large breastesses [I’m mentioning that to help my fellow dudes reading this draw an accurate mental picture] and is completely, absolutely 100% single. Whenever we talk about finding love, settling down and having kids, she is very much open to dating different men and doing whatever it takes to let love run its course in her life. One thing she sometimes makes her discouraged about the dating scene is the fact that she doesn’t go out on a lot of dates with different dudes, while she has friends who are perpetually wifed-up and courting different guys. Every time she mentions how this makes her feel bad, I get REALLY confused: Isn’t the fact that her homegirl is CONTINUALLY in DIFFERENT relationships a solid sign that she ISN’T making the BEST dating choices?

But it’s not just my homegirl, I notice a lot of women sometimes get down on themselves because they aren’t attracting the same type of dating-interest as their friends, yet they all seem to ignore the simple truth of the situation: It’s EASY as hell to find a man – if you have NO standards.

If you just want to get long-d*cked in every crevice of your body and have multiple, squirtastic orgasms and get sent home with a coke and a cab ride, then finding a dude should be simple. If you just want some simp-ass negro to take you on a one-two dates [my Toronto slang shining through] so you can fill your belly and send him home with nothing more than a polite hug and the faint, lingering aroma of your perfume that he will use to jerk off to, then finding a man should take NO effort. These dudes are out here in abundance.

But if you are looking for a life partner, like my homegirl is, then you need to realize that YOU and the women who seemingly have NO trouble finding men, are playing TWO different games. She’s in it for hard d*ck and bubblegum, while you are trying to find a life partner, which requires a MUCH more advanced level of screening and scrutiny.

But here’s the funny part: If she’s trying to “play” the same game as you, SHE is actually the one losing, because she hasn’t mastered 1 simple ideology – QUALITY over QUANTITY. I hate when women tell me about how long it’s been since they’ve been on a date, on how few men approach them and get their number and how little attention she gets at the club, because I always end up asking them the same question [the only one that really matters]: Was he HIGH-QUALITY to YOU?

Who gives a F*^K if some chick is outpacing you in the dating scene because she is out EVERY OTHER NIGHT with some dude? Finding a good man or woman takes time, but when you do, that one relationship will TRUMP the other persons entire frowsy dating resume.

This Is Your Conscience

When Lincoln Anthony Blades is not writing for his controversial and critically acclaimed blog, he can be found contributing articles for Uptown Magazine. Lincoln wrote the hilarious and insightful book "You're Not A Victim, You're A Volunteer: How To Stop Letting Love Kick Your Ass". He is also a public speaker who has sat on panels all over North America and the Caribbean.


  1. lincolnanthonyblades

    07/11/2012 at 4:59 AM

    Ladies & Gentlemen, When It Comes To Dating Do You Believe In Quality Over Quantity? Or Do You Believe You Need To Examine A LOT Of Quantity In Order To Find The Quality?

  2. @DoWuSem

    07/11/2012 at 5:42 AM


  3. Tonia

    07/11/2012 at 7:48 AM

    New to your wonderful blog. This post is EXCELLENT and something I wished I realized when I was on the dating scene. I went through those same dating concerns when I had a friend who always seemed to have someone while I didnt. At one point I thought it was me. Next week I celebrate my 15th anniversary and she's still out there flitting arround at 46.

  4. Vicky

    07/11/2012 at 8:53 AM

    "I hate when women tell me about how long it’s been since they’ve been on a date, on how few men approach them and get their number and how little attention she gets at the club" <—-Power to those who worked out, but meeting "quality" people in a club is like searching for needle in a hay stack!

    To answer your question, the obvious would be quality over quantity, however maturing woman (young woman 20+) who are just figuring out life for themselves may experience quantity to find quality. Example, take a woman who is 30 and a woman who is 20, the 30 year old may be able to "screen" the man better by past experiences (quantity) and either avoid or go for it (quality). I don't want to hear the youngins because I will agree SOME have the ability to predetermine a man, while others are all school girl giggles for the attention alone.

  5. Paul B.

    07/11/2012 at 10:59 AM

    Hmmm…I can speak from observations derived from conversations and interactions from being around female friends, and one thing I noticed that set the friends who attracted men consistently from those who didn't wasn't looks, because they all looked nice, but it was their attitude which shows itself through their interaction and demeanor at the event. The women who looked Luke they were enjoying themselves and just knew how to have fun seemed to attract mire men, whether at the club or a restaurant. I think part of attractiveness derives from flourishing in your environment. People who are introverted typically won't do well in open environments like clubs anyway whereas extroverts would do well in those places and others as well.

    Of course, quality matters over quantity but some complain about both, and I'm wondering why somebody's looking to meet a husband at the club.

  6. NurseJilly

    07/11/2012 at 12:14 PM

    Perfect timing on this post Lincoln. I was beginning to get a little down in the dumps over here… I've been single for a while now and I'm not out nearly as much as my other single friends. I get flack from my sisters all the time for not dating but I just refuse to go out on dates with people I know are not relationship material for me. So I'l be the lonely spinster till a man with some damn integrity comes into my life not the scallywags that seem to be drawn to me.

  7. Candice

    07/11/2012 at 12:35 PM

    So true Lincoln. Some guys I talk to ask me why am I single and I always say if I'm looking for some ass and then it's on to the next? Sure.. That's very easy to find, cheap and plentiful. I tell people I'm looking for a serious relationship so that's going to take longer to find. I would rather just have a few dates with serious minded men as opposed to going on lots of dates with men that are looking for a one night stand or friends with benefits.

  8. MzDebbieFields

    07/11/2012 at 12:38 PM

    Why are women getting all the blame but no one is talking about shitty some of these men are??? She's not wrong for going on a lot of dates it's the men who are wrong for being losers and not knowing how to treat a woman!

  9. Jesssss

    07/11/2012 at 1:55 PM

    Omg! Get out of my head right now! I just had this exact convo with a friend in the not so distant past. We were discussing the quality of men approaching me. And my right to pass on someone i know i woudn't want in my life long term. So, it looks like I'll keep waiting.

    On point as always!

  10. Desi

    07/12/2012 at 9:13 AM

    Love this! So accurate, my life in a blog lol

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