Please Understand That How You Raise Your Kids Affects Us ALL

I am a big proponent in the ideology that the best way to prevent crime and the creation of criminals starts in the home. The way a parent chooses to educate their child, raise them with or without a solid moral code, or with or without any form of proper discipline, essentially sets that child down a good path or a TERRIBLE one. So when I turn on my TV and see some frowsy heffa defending her child’s terrible actions [and their own terrible parenting] with the phrase “How I choose to raise my kids is nobodies business but my own!” I wanna reach through the TV and Wayne Brady a b*tch.

The reason I wanted to touch on this today, is because I saw a video on the Net, that absolutely ENRAGED me and made me SICK to my stomach:

Kudos to his aunt for being completely ignorant and telling us her son was one thing, while the VIDEO EVIDENCE confirmed a completely different story. You’re doing a bang-up job, lady. But what I find funny about videos like these is that there’s always a clueless parent somewhere in them. And then fast-forward that child’s life several years later after he gets shot, and it’s that SAME mother crying about how her son “was an angel” and “never did nobody nothin’.” But the fact is SHE doomed her only child to a life of mediocrity and tragedy by subscribing to the ideology that the REST of us in society should NOT have ANY say in the CORRECT rearing of her child.

Simply put: How you raise your children is NOT just YOUR own business – it’s ALL of our business, because you don’t live, exist and operate on an island with just YOU and YOUR family. You live in a community that is greatly affected by the actions of every other individual inside of it, and if one individual is raised horrifically wrong, and turns out to be a sociopath, that child will go on to F*^K their community up, and eventually progress to greatly harming society as a whole.

Now obviously there are MANY great parents out here, and if you are one this message DEFINITELY doesn’t apply to you in any way, shape or form. But you must reconcile with the fact that there are ALSO very bad parents out there who DO need help in correctly raising their children into being progressive members of society. Not only are the children OWED the assistance, but all of the members of our society DESERVE to NOT be plagued by the actions of a misguided man who was never properly instructed as a BOY.

This Is Your Conscience

I also wanted to provide a link to a book that deals with this subject in an AMAZING and THOUGHT-PROVOKING manner written by people with MUCH more expertise on the subject than myself. Check it out:

When Lincoln Anthony Blades is not writing for his controversial and critically acclaimed blog, he can be found contributing articles for Uptown Magazine. Lincoln wrote the hilarious and insightful book "You're Not A Victim, You're A Volunteer: How To Stop Letting Love Kick Your Ass". He is also a public speaker who has sat on panels all over North America and the Caribbean.


  1. lincolnanthonyblades

    07/23/2012 at 5:00 AM

    Ladies & Gentlemen, Do You Believe The State/Province Should Be Quicker To Intervene And Have MORE Authority On "Problem" Kids? Or Is That A Slippery-Slope To HURTING Our Children More Than HELPING Them?

  2. mena

    07/23/2012 at 10:02 AM

    Quick question for you: What do you say of the parents that have 3 children where 2 turned out wonderful and 1 just is a horrible mess?

    Do You Believe The State/Province Should Be Quicker To Intervene And Have MORE Authority On "Problem" Kids? Or Is That A Slippery-Slope To HURTING Our Children More Than HELPING Them?

    I honestly don't know. I think that spanking your child is fine but i also think that some people are just too quick to hit their child for the slightest of incidents. More than likely, this boy has seen this at home and copied what he saw.

    What do you consider a problem child?

    I think putting in more resources for early childhood education would be the best help. It is proven that the earlier you reach a child, the better their chances of becoming a productive member in society. A link i posted on your site a while back talked about baby college. More areas need to offer this program.

    • MistaHarsh

      07/23/2012 at 11:12 AM

      I agree with you. When you start spanking your child at a very young age without any other guidance all they can process is that spanking is a form of communication and they commence to "communicating" with other children.

      Also yes more resources in ECE would definitely help. Also it should be mandatory like vaccinations to have your child visit someone who specializes in child behaviour and development to teach parents how to NUTURE a "problematic" child or how to spot signs early so that small things don't grow into bigger things in the future. I feel parents simply put the belt or time outs to use thinking that's all that is required. Parenting ain't easy and many parents have missteps hopefully a specialist can help before children fall through the cracks

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      07/23/2012 at 1:26 PM

      To Answer Your First Question, I Would Say That The First Child Required Special Attention. My Mother Worked With Children For The Better Part Of Her Life, And The One Thing She Always Told Me (In Anticipation Of The Day I Have Kids) Is To Treat Each Child Individually.

      • mena

        07/23/2012 at 2:29 PM

        See, I don't think it's that simple. Honestly, I truly believe that there will just always be a few bad apples (people in general) in the bunch. So no matter how much you care, nurture, give attention to, send for help…they will always have problems. Should the parents then be punished for that kid? Nothing must suck more than to be a parent that has given their all to only have that ONE kid be the dictating force in signaling you as a bad parent.

        • lincolnanthonyblades

          07/23/2012 at 2:40 PM

          But I Think You're Missing The Fact That THIS Is The Critical Turning Point In This Child's Life. THIS Is The Moment That Will Define This Child's Life Based On The Actions Of The Parents. If They Don't Act Swiftly In The Face Of Witnessing This Video, Then Whatever Happens To This Boy Later On In Life Is Most Definitely Their Fault.

          • NurseJilly

            07/23/2012 at 3:35 PM

            Exactly!! There can be those "few bad apples" but if left to their own devices they will be the next lunatics. If the parents are paying enough attention and pick up on those red flags super early then intervention is possible.

            I was reading a study that suggests that true psychopaths are developed by the time they are 5 years old. Frightening to think of but its also a lesson for parents that the old "kids will be kids" mentality does not always excuse bad behaviour. It very well could be a warning sign of whats to come.

          • NurseJilly

            07/23/2012 at 3:37 PM

            I should point out that mental illness was not part of the equation in this study. This was specifically geared toward true psychopaths not people in altered mental states.

          • lincolnanthonyblades

            07/23/2012 at 3:58 PM


            And I Have A Hard Time Buying Into The Ideology That Children Just "Turn Up" Being Bad One Day Out Of The Blue. There Are Signs, No Matter How Small, That Parents NEED To Be Attentive To.

          • mena

            07/23/2012 at 4:39 PM

            I guess what I am getting at is that i am not a mother so until that day, I will always look on the outside and judge from the outside. Basically, i agree with your premise but I do believe that their are instances where you just don't see it coming. I would like to think that as a parent, i will be able to direct my children on the straight path (and i truly hope that i do) but to say that my kids will be these great contributors to society is something that I just don't know b/c well…i don't have kids…yet. All i can do is my best and hope for the best. I think that's what most parents do. They try their hardest to raise their to be great contributors to society and pray that it works. I think that raising a kid is trial and error, patience, and love.

          • lincolnanthonyblades

            07/23/2012 at 4:50 PM

            And That's Why I Included My Disclaimer Above. The Fact Is There ARE Bad Parents Out There, And We Need To Be Cognizant Of That. Yes, There Are Deceitful Children Who Look Like Angels At Home, And Are Devils In The Streets, And That Is NOT The Parents Fault.

            But The Parents Who Are Stating "You Can't Tell Me How To Raise My Kids!" Are Typically The Terrible Ones.

      • mena

        07/23/2012 at 2:30 PM

        But in general, i do get the point of your article. I wish we had applications for becoming a parent but that infringes on someone's right to procreate and then that's just a whole different battle and slippery slope.

  3. MistaHarsh

    07/23/2012 at 10:55 AM

    As a parent who has a child in daycare I am beyond appalled. In this specific scenario I don't blame the parents I fully blame the daycare. There's a reason why in daycare you're supposed to separate kids by age group. Its not uncommon for older kids to take advantage of defenseless infants and toddlers I have no idea why a 9yr old is allowed in a room full of infants!!! That daycare should be shut down immediately.

    To the father who attacked the innocent child, smh you have to think. Call the police/inspectors OR or demand to see the video footage from that very same day. You just became the very same person you tried to protect your child from.

    Mental illness is no joke and I find that its less likely to be diagnosed in impoverished neighbourhoods. A lot of the people terrorizing communities have a mental illness that's never been addressed or treated and the elementary schools that they went to aren't trained to deal with these issues. I'm sure the medication that boy was taking wasn't agreeing with him and/or it was probably a 3 tier drug.

    In the hood I grew up in there was a teen who I knew from grade school who used to blast Mobb Deep's Infamous album from his porch speakers every night at 11pm. No one would tell him anything because he was a "bhad man"/crazy/mentally ill person. Also the dude that was robbing people last year at the festival I knew him as a child, he was "troubled" as well.

    I hope this opens the eyes of the people who are NOT affected by violence or live in a "quiet" neighourhood because those are the ones who believe they are on an island and that they can ignore what happens in these troubled areas. One child's safety should be EVERYONE'S responsibility.

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      07/23/2012 at 1:28 PM

      Here's Why I DON'T Blame The Day Care More Than The Parents – If The Aunt Proved Anything In That's Clip, It's That She Is OBLIVIOUS To The Child's Nature.

      • MistaHarsh

        07/23/2012 at 2:29 PM

        I see the aunt's actions as blood is thicker than water she stated the child is on medication but stopped short from saying he attacks little kids we all have relatives that will stick up for us no matter how wrong we are especially when we're a kid. Plus she's not even the child's parent she's just an idiot who decided to appear on television.

        Keep in mind I'm not at a public playground I'm bringing my child to a licensed daycare provider. I pay them an arm, a leg and a rib to make sure my child is being more than adequately taken care of. Look at it this way: daycare, grade school, high school, even post secondary, my child will be exposed to a variety of riff raffs, bullys, psychos, degenerates in the making. As much as its my responsibility to make sure my child does not fall prey to those influences(and the accused child's parents to step up) its also the responsibility for these institutions that we as parents sometimes so blindly trust with our kid's lives to make sure that our kids are in a SAFE risk free environment especially since the child spends more time in school than at home. There's no standard for a parent(although maybe there should be) but there definitely is a standard for these care providers.

        If I were to take it up with the troubled child's parent it would have ended up like the parent who was charged with assault. Parent's don't think rationally when you have something displeasing to say about their child, look at all the fights a little league games among parents. You take it up with the school.

        • lincolnanthonyblades

          07/23/2012 at 4:01 PM

          But The Fact That He's On Medication Makes Me Wonder Why They Didn't Try Alternative Day Cares. I Can't Speak For The US, But I Know In Canada They Have Day Cares That Are Directed Towards Assisting Children With Special Needs.

          • MistaHarsh

            07/23/2012 at 5:04 PM

            probably the cost. But in my child's daycare they have a mentally underdeveloped kid. He is kept in his age group and is monitored more closely than the other children. This US daycare just viewed him as a bad ass kid misbehaving and obviously didn't take ANY precautions to protect the other children.

            I don't know man! I see this incident as a failure of the childcare system.

          • lincolnanthonyblades

            07/23/2012 at 8:46 PM

            Oh I Definitely See This Incident As A Failure By The Daycare. But This Child Is Probably Not Just Violent Within The Confines Of The Daycare, I Bet The Child ENTERED The Daycare Violent, And THAT'S The Parents Fault.

  4. Kam

    07/23/2012 at 2:54 PM

    I'm sorry for the father beating the wrong child, Instead he should of found out who the parents/guardian of the real child and beat the crap out of them. If you can't keep your child controlled then he shouldn't be placed in the general public. The parents are at fault for not seeking help for this sociopath.

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      07/23/2012 at 4:00 PM

      The Parents Should Have Found A Better Daycare Suited To Their Child's Needs.

  5. lincolnanthonyblades

    07/23/2012 at 3:59 PM

    That Man Shouldn't Have Raised His Hand To Anyone. He Should Have Contacted A Lawyer.

    • MistaHarsh

      07/23/2012 at 4:51 PM


  6. Kam

    07/23/2012 at 4:22 PM

    No they didn't exercise full due diligence. They failed to monitor and assess the affects of the medication on him. Even when the aunt was speak she seemed very uninterested and disconnected.

    This child is a danger to the community and shouldn't be mingling with the general public right now.

    • MistaHarsh

      07/23/2012 at 4:50 PM

      Even when the aunt was speak she seemed very uninterested and disconnected.

      Could that be your perception because her back was turned from the camera to hide her identity.?

      You assume these videotapes were watched by the parents as things were happening. They as well as the other father probably had no idea that this physical abuse was going on. Probably in the child's home there aren't any younger children to torment so they might not have aware of this extent of behaviour. There are a lot of parents who have bully kids who don't see the problem with their child's physical dominance over another child their age as an issue. If they were told of his behaviour by the daycare and refused to take action thats one thing but the video CLEARLY shows a lack of disregard and disconnect by the ECE workers in the room and the supervisor of the daycare in general.

      the father brought it to their attention and they couldn't tell him what happened. The daycare obviously did NOT exercise their due diligence.

      Kam do you have children? If so how do you monitor/keep track of them when they're not in your presence? I ask my child and the people who are responsible for them when I'm not around and I expect them to be able to tell me if something is wrong. This daycare failed to do that horribly.

      • Kam

        07/23/2012 at 6:18 PM

        Nope not a parent no plans to be(especially after watching this). Proud Aunty though. Your telling me this child shows no other delquint behavior besides when around other kids? Please this boy looks like he probably tortures animals. The aunt already said he fights w/ other kids that's a sign of violence and aggression. Then she had the audacity to say he's normal.

        You know what I notice with these parents now a days it's someone's fault for their children's actions. It's video games, movie violence, rap music, recording artist… Yes the day care providers should be watching but that delinquent behavior already instilled in that boy is the parents's doing.

        The only thing I can suggest if I was a parent would not place my child in daycare or under others supervision until they can talk. I know not everyone one can have that luxury but I would personally sacrifice so I can too many child molestors, abusers and now sociopathic children.

        ***sorry for any spelling errors I'm on my cellphone.

  7. Adonis

    07/23/2012 at 5:28 PM

    THis is why fathers need to be in the boys lives & women cannot entertain obvious attractive deadbeat

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      07/23/2012 at 8:43 PM


  8. Paul B.

    07/23/2012 at 11:55 PM

    But here's the thing: this kid knew exactly what he was doing. He had enough sense to wait until no adults were physically present to do the stuff he did, so he wasn't that far gone to not know right from wrong. That is nothing more than a cop out.

  9. Kiwi

    01/11/2015 at 8:50 PM

    I remember when I was a kid and had just started school at the age of four. I was always a small kid and one day my dad picked me up from school. He saw a kid hitting and bullying me, he grabbed the kid by the scruff of his shirt, lifted him to eye level, told him off then put him back down. It didn't happen again.

    If the parents cant control their kids, I'd do the same if the school/parents wouldn't stop it

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