The 3 BIGGEST Misconceptions Women Have About The Men They’re Sleeping With

Dating in today’s world can be tough as HELL, simply because dating today is more complicated than its ever been before. The dynamics between men and women have changed, the social stigma’s around different sexualities have been all but removed, and the internet has made dating easier and harder than a mutha—- at the same, damn time. I know a lot of men and women trying to manoeuvre around this dating scene with little to NO luck because we simply don’t understand each other – so I’m here today to provide y’all with some much needed insight into the WAY a man’s mind works with regards to the woman he’s sleeping with.

#1 He Keeps Coming Back Because The Sex Is Good

Ladies, let me explain something to you: Men devote countless hours, days, weeks, months and years to the means of getting new nani – and when we FINALLY get some, we rate the experience and prioritize how much we want to continue having that sex. Whether it’s with a girlfriend or a jumpoff, ANY sex will ALWAYS trump having NO SEX and having to back your fist in front of your laptop to HoodAmateurs. BUT, there are many women who think the man is LOVING the sex because he keep’s coming over – when the truth is he keeps coming over because he prioritizes going to bed horny LOWER than having your ass rake your teeth over his foreskin while giving head. In his mind, holding an icepack on his scrotum is better than blue balls.

Now the reason this is important bleeds into point #2…

#2 The Freakier We Get Does NOT = The More Serious We’re Getting

I can’t even remember the amount of times I’ve heard women attribute the increasing level of freakiness in their relationship with some dude, to a closer and deeper emotional connection. I understand on SOME levels, because the BEST sex in the world is the sex you have with someone you truly LOVE, but to correlate ALL squirtastic, multi-orgasmic, nut-busting to a deep-intrinsic connection is extremely problematic. Just because he tossed your salad last night doesn’t mean he’s trying to put a ring on it the next morning. Basically, don’t be like THIS:

#3 The Nut Was So Good It Means We’re Getting Back Together

Ok, this is a topic many women I know have issues with. They are going through a break-up or have recently broken up with a dude, and then they meet, chill, and end up smashing – leaving her to believe that they are now on the road to reconciliation. Unfortunately he takes it for what it was [available nani] and she misconstrues the act, and they end up having an awkward-ass convo about what the sex “meant.” What’s interesting about this point is that MEN are very guilty of this too when a woman comes back in our life to get ONE last set of multiples and we act like that was her way of saying “I do.” So let me address ladies AND gentlemen on this one: Any sexual encounter that you have with an old or recent ex that was NOT prefaced with a serious talk about rekindling your love, is nothing more than a piece of “Reminiscent Richard/Nani.”

This Is Your Conscience

When Lincoln Anthony Blades is not writing for his controversial and critically acclaimed blog, he can be found contributing articles for Uptown Magazine. Lincoln wrote the hilarious and insightful book "You're Not A Victim, You're A Volunteer: How To Stop Letting Love Kick Your Ass". He is also a public speaker who has sat on panels all over North America and the Caribbean.


  1. lincolnanthonyblades

    07/18/2012 at 5:16 AM

    Ladies & Gentlemen, Do You Agree Or Disagree With The Items On This List? Are There Any Others You Would Care To Add?

    • ChloeRayne516

      07/18/2012 at 1:16 PM

      Yep!! this list sounds just about right to me.


      oh and to add one more. Just because you letting him hit RAW does not mean he is trying to UPGRADE your status — from Fwb to GF/Wifey

  2. petersburgh

    07/18/2012 at 6:29 AM

    Co-Sign. Also, both men and women think that just because they never did it before with anyone else, automatically proves that they really LOVE this person. I wrote on that a while back and had people come telling me what else could it mean. I said it's circumstantial or their just more relaxed with that particular person

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      07/18/2012 at 6:39 AM

      Good Point. Too Many People Feel Like Convincing Someone To Explore Their Freaky Side Beyond Anything They Did Before Automatically Equates Into A Deep Emotional Connection.

  3. @IamSomethngElse

    07/18/2012 at 7:39 AM

    One thing I hate to hear men "yeah she got all gushy cuz I was hitting it right". *buzzer noise* Try again! I can't speak for other women but I get wet just from the enjoyment of the act, if he's hitting it right then that's a bonus. Another misconception….that us wanting head means we want the whole package. Nope…head is sometimes the only thing needed and if she states that's all she wants don't get your feelings hurt when she rolls over or bounces. My ex used to do this all the time…he'd be in the doghouse and somehow felt offering me head would make it all go away. When it was all said and done and I've basically pulled all his hair out he'd try to go in for the kill. WHOA NOW! That wasn't part of the deal! I'd end up "helping" him w/ his little situation (no pun intended) but not the way he intended.

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      07/18/2012 at 11:55 AM

      Aren't You Abstinent?!

      • @IamSomethngElse

        07/18/2012 at 12:08 PM

        celibate and yes…doesnt mean I dont think about sex, never had it or never plan to have it again. told you several times everybody is different.

        • lincolnanthonyblades

          07/18/2012 at 12:27 PM

          Interesting…I'm Still Learning About All That.

  4. SMilez_920

    07/18/2012 at 9:03 AM

    LOL. Just because you are having sex with some one doesn’t mean the status of your relationship has changed or will change.
    I like that you mentioned convenience, I think about 60 percent of the relationships/situation ships that men get into are out of convenience not this deep emotional bond.

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      07/18/2012 at 11:52 AM


  5. MPimpJuice

    07/18/2012 at 11:13 AM

    I remember a time when I made it abundantly clear to a female that this was strictly about sex, no strings attached, and if you can handle that, then we're good to go. She obliged… so after the (let's say) 1st time, she always complimented me every time thereafter we 'boned', then saying I was the best sex of her life, to being as freaky and trying anything and everything possible… and yet, the sex wasn't even that good for me, quite honestly… but like the article calls for… as men… 'we keep going back' (besides, there were hardly any teeth over the foreskin, she was a master head giver, for what she was worth). But then what happens, within months, the chick no longer just wants to be 'fuck buddies', starts catching REAL feelings… and it all went to hell after that… thank God. Not being that 'typical man' from what you're reading, this was at a point in time where I promised myself not to be in a relationship and live the single life for once. Every chick knew my intentions, but a couple of them couldn't handle it in the long. It's not a secret, women become emotionally attached, the more you have physical encounters with them, because even through your own ways/beliefs of what you have going on with this woman, they start seeing away from the initial agreement, and wanting more than just sex. Might be my opinion, but mostly, it becomes fact!

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      07/18/2012 at 11:55 AM

      Shout Out To You For Keeping It 100 About What You Wanted Right From Jump.

    • ChloeRayne516

      07/18/2012 at 1:25 PM

      "It's not a secret, women become emotionally attached, the more you have physical encounters with them, because even through your own ways/beliefs of what you have going on with this woman, they start seeing away from the initial agreement, and wanting more than just sex."

      For most women.. YES this is the truth, but trust me when I say there are a few of us out here that know how to compartmentailize just as well as the fellas when it comes to s.ex, they're called Maneaters or emotionally challenged and these are the ones who usually end up with the men who in turn start acting like a chick (catching feelings) because he now realizes SHE isn't, she's keeping it G!!!!

      • MPimpJuice

        07/18/2012 at 1:47 PM

        I agree, wholeheartedly with you!

      • lincolnanthonyblades

        07/18/2012 at 2:53 PM

        Emotionally Challenged? LoL

        That's A Terrible Name

      • petersburgh

        07/18/2012 at 5:40 PM

        chloe I can tell you that many men get emotional attached from the get go too.

  6. Charnell

    07/18/2012 at 12:47 PM

    I agree with this article. People make too many assumptions and don't state what they want from the jump. But in my experience, I've had it where we BOTH agreed it was just a friends with benefits relationship, but HE caught feelings, told me he liked me, said how him and his friends said I'd make a good girlfriend and call me "the wife", but when I asked if we are going to be officially exclusive the answer was that he was not ready for a relationship….wth am I supposed to make of that? To this day I don't get it…lol

    But it was definitely a lesson learned….I ALWAYS ask a man's intentions and state mine from early and just never assume

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      07/18/2012 at 12:58 PM

      Yeah Men Are Definitely Guilty Of Making Emotional Assumptions Too

  7. Dyquen

    07/18/2012 at 1:28 PM

    I agree with all listed, I'll keep going back for some sex with the same woman because its available and easier to get that trying to go out and find brand new nani. What she must read into, if we are dating working toward a relationship, is if I come over and I'm not trying to get in her guts the moment I get in the door, or after the act I hang around after I got my pants on. A woman I spend real time and money on is never someone I'm just trying to dig up, if sex is all I want the only thing I'll use is gas, time for sex, and no more than $30.

    As for #2 I'm a freak from the jump. My freak behavior don't mean I broke out something special just for her. My freakdom is purely a research experience, a quest to be great at smashdown. If we are in a relationship and I decided to take my time, turn down the zooanticts and go basic… That's me actually savoring the moment with someone I see as more than just booty. If it just about the booty Imma say so from the get go, some change their mind later on but at least mg intentions were stated.

    As for #3, all my ex's that had nani worth going back to say goodbye to, ended on a bad note and last chance smash is out of the question. Lmao.

    Then there is the anomaly p*ssy, the one nani that is everything you ever dreamt nani should be. Everything you thought nani taste like, feel like, smell like, look like and squeeze like. The one chick who you would try getting to know because its that good. I regret finding that one, because it raised the bar for future exploits and expectations.

    • ChloeRayne516

      07/18/2012 at 1:44 PM

      So basically your words (feelings) and actions (how you treat and spend time with that women) are ALIGNED based on what kind of relationship you want with that particular women.

      *APPLAUSE* now this right here is GROWN MAN DATING…..

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      07/18/2012 at 2:55 PM

      Real Talk RIght Here

  8. cyn cyn

    07/18/2012 at 4:14 PM

    i agree with the points stated. i agree that when you truly love someone and you have sex it should be the best,… i have a loving emotional bond with my partner to the point where i am comfortable to perform the good sex. i don't really look at it as hes ready to be serious with me
    i just look at it as if he is just as comfortable as i am

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      07/18/2012 at 5:10 PM


  9. lucille1989

    08/26/2012 at 9:26 AM

    Reading this made me cringe, I've uttered one of those three examples above at least once or twice these past few months. But can I get a hell yeah, for reality checks!

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