The 5 Things You MUST Reveal To Someone BEFORE Your 1st Date

Finding out if she dated one of your cousins is something you might want to ask too..

Last week I received a message from a dude stating that I should write a post about celibate women who date men without first clarifying they are waiting until marriage to have sex BEFORE they begin dating. As I read that, I was APPALLED that any woman would actually NOT mention the fact that she is abstinent PRIOR to beginning a relationship with a dude and waiting until he is emotionally invested to bring it up. But then I got to thinking that men AND women are BOTH guilty of keeping important parts of their lives secret WELL into the dating process, when they should be coming out and announcing their situation even before the first date. Although this list could technically be 187 items along, I have trimmed it down to the top 5.

#1 You MUST Reveal IF You Have Children & How Many

The ideology that this information is only reserved for people you are “seriously” seeing is a load of BULLSH*T. If you have children, you should be announcing that [proudly, I might add] well in advance of the first date to give that person time to decide whether or not they can handle being in that situation. Some people can’t, and regardless of how you may feel about them, you CAN’T knock them for being cognizant of what they want, and you DEFINITELY can’t overwhelm them with such important info AFTER they’re already committed to you. How MANY you have should not be a secret either. Who wants to walk into something like THIS:

#2 How Your LAST Relationship Ended

Look, no one is entitled to know your business and the private details surrounding your most intimate moments with your ex. That’s obviously YOUR business and no one else’s. BUT, if you are thinking about dating someone and your LAST relationship ended with a restraining order, how the HELL do you leave that information out of the initial talking stage? if your last relationship ended with a family law trial, or someone calling someone else’s cousin to beat the hell out of them, or someone being arrested, your drama will become your NEW date’s drama as SOON as y’all go out in public. Give ’em a heads up.

#3 Are You Clean And When Last Were You Checked

I don’t have ANY right to know WHO you slept with, WHEN was the last time you slept with someone and WHAT their name is – but I am entitled to know if your burning like the rim in NBA Jam on Super Nintendo.

#4 Are They Employed And Do They LOVE What They Do

I have written numerous times on this site about the personal importance of LOVING what you do, so you want to ensure that you are starting a potential relationship with someone who not only has a plan, money in the bank and ambition, but someone who LOVES the life they are leading. It’s cool to make a lot of money, but if your career makes you a miserable-beeyotch then I don’t wanna deal with you, employed or not. Now If they DON’T even have a job or business and you DON’T clarify that right from the start, be prepared to have to INVESTIGATE them months later about what they do:

#5 Your Previous Marriage Experience

If you are divorced, that HAS to be a BEFORE first-date conversation. That event not only shapes your current mind state on dating, but it also says A LOT about what may be going on in your life RIGHT NOW. Your new date has the right to know that you had such a SIGNIFICANT emotional-event happen to you, although they DON’T need to know the musty details.

But ladies and gentlemen, we KNOW this is A LOT of information people would PREFER to hide from you, so if you decide to date someone without confirming these 5 things up above, prepare to date that potentially-frowsy ass person at YOUR own risk.

This Is Your Conscience

When Lincoln Anthony Blades is not writing for his controversial and critically acclaimed blog ThisIsYourConscience.com, he can be found contributing articles for Uptown Magazine. Lincoln wrote the hilarious and insightful book "You're Not A Victim, You're A Volunteer: How To Stop Letting Love Kick Your Ass". He is also a public speaker who has sat on panels all over North America and the Caribbean.

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