The FIRST “I Love You” Is NEVER Suppose To Be Said DURING Sex

Her: “I did say ‘I love you back!'” Him “Lyin’-ass b*tch! You just said ‘I love your backshots!'”

This may seem like a common sense topic for most of y’all, but you would be surprised how often this occurs: A lot of relationships are starting out with the initial “I Love You” being said either during or just after sex – and people are FAILING to realize how terrible of an omen this truly is. Besides the fact that no woman should trust what a man says in the middle of getting nani (when all the blood from his brain is currently being stored in his richard) and the fact that no man should take what comes out of a woman’s mouth in the middle of multiple orgasms seriously, people are not only SAYING this BULLSH*T – but they are responding back with “I LOVE YOU TOO!”

But this topic speaks to a larger issue that I want to address: The complete devaluation of the concept of LOVING someone. Back in the days, it feels like LOVE was IT – the final frontier of emotional bonding, and a clear sign of lifelong affection. LOVE wasn’t a verbal EZ pass to p*ssy, or a way to say “I MORE than like you” – it was a statement that revealed the depth of your emotional connection, and the seriousness of the commitment you have already made or on the verge of making. ‘I LOVE YOU’ was a phrase that was only romantically spoken to the person you’re married or engaged to, and if it was ever spoken outside of that realm, it encompassed SERIOUS-ASS dating. The type of courting you do when you are qualifying someone as a lifelong-prospect and you are DAMN SURE that you’ve found “The One” like Morpheus. Now, LOVE is just some cool-sh*t to say in the middle of digging in some nappy-dugout, as if making her squirt is a surefire sign that lifelong commitment is DEFINITELY on the horizon.

Ladies, STOP telling dudes you love them during sex – it’s a TERRIBLE look. It makes you look pathetic, controlling, manipulative and easily dickmatized. When a man hears you say you LOVE him for the first time while he is sweating the Luster’s pink lotion out of your layered side bang, he instantly thinks 1 of the following:

A) “She’s just saying this crazy-sh*t to get me to say it back and quickly lure me into a serious relationship”
B) “Got-Dayum! It just takes a little doggy-style with a thumb in her ass to say she loves me?”
C) “I’mma act like I didn’t hear that – but I’m tearin’ this p*ssy up!”

But the WORST thought (which is also the most common) is:

D) “DAMMIT! Now I gotta say it back even though I don’t love this chick!”

And the funny thing is ladies, y’all think D) too when you hear a dude say his first “LOVE you” during sex. But here’s the thing men and women BOTH need to understand when you hear your partner say that sh*t: Do NOT ignore it or say it back when you don’t mean it – ADDRESS IT. Because if you don’t, the love you’s don’t STOP, they get more and more FREQUENT, which results in ONE terrible problem – The other person starts BELIEVING it, even when you DON’T.

This Is Your Conscience

When Lincoln Anthony Blades is not writing for his controversial and critically acclaimed blog, he can be found contributing articles for Uptown Magazine. Lincoln wrote the hilarious and insightful book "You're Not A Victim, You're A Volunteer: How To Stop Letting Love Kick Your Ass". He is also a public speaker who has sat on panels all over North America and the Caribbean.


  1. lincolnanthonyblades

    07/30/2012 at 3:38 AM

    Ladies & Gentlemen, Have You Ever SAID Or Had Someone TELL YOU "I LOVE YOU" During Sex, And It Was The 1ST Time That Phrase Came Up In Your Relationship? How DId You React?

  2. Jessica

    07/30/2012 at 3:56 AM

    Truth!!! Mid-coitus (not sure it's a word) you love everything. The sky is a little bluer

  3. Jessica

    07/30/2012 at 3:57 AM

    Truth!!! Mid-coitus (not sure it's a word) you love everything. The sky is a little bluer, music sounds better and every nerve ending in your body is being overwhelmed with Pleasure ( if it's being done right). So this is always a no no.

    But I have a question. Is it possible to "make love" without being in love?


  4. Amanda Scott

    07/30/2012 at 11:50 AM

    I have said it before! I admit it!

    But I think he played it off well and we acted like it never happened and it worked for us…because we became fvck buddies lol

  5. Don

    08/12/2012 at 1:46 AM

    In the words of Snoop Dogg (Lion) – You dont love me! You just love my Doggystyle

  6. Mary

    05/28/2013 at 5:48 AM

    You seem to have also forgotten that back then people married for many reasons other than love, such as uniting two families or moving up the social ladder. In addition to this, back then (pre-female liberalisation) sex before marriage was heavily frowned upon particularly since contraception did not exist and religion was strictly followed by most people. People in the present have an unhealthy tendency of reflecting back on the past with rose tinited glasses – sorry for being a party pooper!

  7. pregnantwild

    08/07/2013 at 3:22 AM

    The issue Is that individuals are saying this right after too. lol.

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