The FIRST “I Love You” Is NEVER Suppose To Be Said DURING Sex

Her: “I did say ‘I love you back!'” Him “Lyin’-ass b*tch! You just said ‘I love your backshots!'”

This may seem like a common sense topic for most of y’all, but you would be surprised how often this occurs: A lot of relationships are starting out with the initial “I Love You” being said either during or just after sex – and people are FAILING to realize how terrible of an omen this truly is. Besides the fact that no woman should trust what a man says in the middle of getting nani (when all the blood from his brain is currently being stored in his richard) and the fact that no man should take what comes out of a woman’s mouth in the middle of multiple orgasms seriously, people are not only SAYING this BULLSH*T – but they are responding back with “I LOVE YOU TOO!”

But this topic speaks to a larger issue that I want to address: The complete devaluation of the concept of LOVING someone. Back in the days, it feels like LOVE was IT – the final frontier of emotional bonding, and a clear sign of lifelong affection. LOVE wasn’t a verbal EZ pass to p*ssy, or a way to say “I MORE than like you” - it was a statement that revealed the depth of your emotional connection, and the seriousness of the commitment you have already made or on the verge of making. ‘I LOVE YOU’ was a phrase that was only romantically spoken to the person you’re married or engaged to, and if it was ever spoken outside of that realm, it encompassed SERIOUS-ASS dating. The type of courting you do when you are qualifying someone as a lifelong-prospect and you are DAMN SURE that you’ve found “The One” like Morpheus. Now, LOVE is just some cool-sh*t to say in the middle of digging in some nappy-dugout, as if making her squirt is a surefire sign that lifelong commitment is DEFINITELY on the horizon.

Ladies, STOP telling dudes you love them during sex – it’s a TERRIBLE look. It makes you look pathetic, controlling, manipulative and easily dickmatized. When a man hears you say you LOVE him for the first time while he is sweating the Luster’s pink lotion out of your layered side bang, he instantly thinks 1 of the following:

A) “She’s just saying this crazy-sh*t to get me to say it back and quickly lure me into a serious relationship”
B) “Got-Dayum! It just takes a little doggy-style with a thumb in her ass to say she loves me?”
C) “I’mma act like I didn’t hear that – but I’m tearin’ this p*ssy up!”

But the WORST thought (which is also the most common) is:

D) “DAMMIT! Now I gotta say it back even though I don’t love this chick!”

And the funny thing is ladies, y’all think D) too when you hear a dude say his first “LOVE you” during sex. But here’s the thing men and women BOTH need to understand when you hear your partner say that sh*t: Do NOT ignore it or say it back when you don’t mean it – ADDRESS IT. Because if you don’t, the love you’s don’t STOP, they get more and more FREQUENT, which results in ONE terrible problem – The other person starts BELIEVING it, even when you DON’T.

This Is Your Conscience

When Lincoln Anthony Blades is not writing for his controversial and critically acclaimed blog ThisIsYourConscience.com, he can be found contributing articles for Uptown Magazine. Lincoln wrote the hilarious and insightful book "You're Not A Victim, You're A Volunteer: How To Stop Letting Love Kick Your Ass". He is also a public speaker who has sat on panels all over North America and the Caribbean.

19 Comments

  1. lincolnanthonyblades

    07/30/2012 at 3:38 AM

    Ladies & Gentlemen, Have You Ever SAID Or Had Someone TELL YOU "I LOVE YOU" During Sex, And It Was The 1ST Time That Phrase Came Up In Your Relationship? How DId You React?

    • petersburgh

      07/30/2012 at 6:23 AM

      Co-Sign. It has never happened to me nor have I ever said it. People must realise there's something called sex talk which happens only in bed to enhance the feeling and nothing more

      • ChloeRayne516

        07/30/2012 at 8:38 AM

        People must realise there's something called sex talk which happens only in bed to enhance the feeling and nothing more

        REALTALK.COM!!!!

        God knows I be on some crazy mess during the shakedown.. lmboooo

        • petersburgh

          07/30/2012 at 10:14 AM

          Damn straight. I once told a girl her nani was the best 10 seconds before I bust a nut. It was good but definitely not the best smhSent from my BlackBerry® wireless device from LIME.

      • lincolnanthonyblades

        07/30/2012 at 10:04 AM

        The Problem Is That People Are Saying This RIGHT AFTER Too. People Need To Just Hold Up With Rushing To Say I Love You Period.

        • petersburgh

          07/30/2012 at 10:10 AM

          Fair enough. I usually date for a while before I decide to couple up with someone so I tend to feel that way before sex anyway. We equate love with sex maybe because it's the most intimate way of expressing your feelings but they are not the same thing and we know it. However, we like to do things to suit our objectives and suchSent from my BlackBerry® wireless device from LIME.

          • lincolnanthonyblades

            07/30/2012 at 10:43 AM

            That's Why I Can Understand How Some People NEED To Be Celibate.

  2. Jessica

    07/30/2012 at 3:56 AM

    Truth!!! Mid-coitus (not sure it's a word) you love everything. The sky is a little bluer

  3. Jessica

    07/30/2012 at 3:57 AM

    Truth!!! Mid-coitus (not sure it's a word) you love everything. The sky is a little bluer, music sounds better and every nerve ending in your body is being overwhelmed with Pleasure ( if it's being done right). So this is always a no no.

    But I have a question. Is it possible to "make love" without being in love?

    -Jess

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      07/30/2012 at 4:26 AM

      To Answer Your Question:

      HELL NO!

      Making Love Is About The Emotion In The Act, Not Just The Specific Act.

      • ChloeRayne516

        07/30/2012 at 7:25 AM

        Exactly!!!!

        This is why I don't give mouth hugs out all Willy nilly…. For me to do that –it means I LOVE YOU!!!! and I am no longer fcuking but now actually making love to you.

        • NurseJilly

          07/30/2012 at 3:07 PM

          "I don't give mouth hugs out all Willy nilly"… Tell them again girl!!!

      • NurseJilly

        07/30/2012 at 1:17 PM

        Cosign 100%

  4. Amanda Scott

    07/30/2012 at 11:50 AM

    I have said it before! I admit it!

    But I think he played it off well and we acted like it never happened and it worked for us…because we became fvck buddies lol

    • Chloerayne516

      07/30/2012 at 2:33 PM

      Wait, Sorry but am i missing somethign here—- "But I think he played it off well and we acted like it never happened and it worked for us…because we became fvck buddies lol"

      How did that work for you if you are now demoted to a Fcuk Buddy after telling him I LOVE YOU mid stroke?? is that the prize behind the door you was originally going for?

      • Amanda Scott

        07/30/2012 at 4:53 PM

        Noooooo! I only wanted to be fvck buddies from the start…thats it!! I just got it good one night and blurted it out lol

  5. Don

    08/12/2012 at 1:46 AM

    In the words of Snoop Dogg (Lion) – You dont love me! You just love my Doggystyle

  6. Mary

    05/28/2013 at 5:48 AM

    You seem to have also forgotten that back then people married for many reasons other than love, such as uniting two families or moving up the social ladder. In addition to this, back then (pre-female liberalisation) sex before marriage was heavily frowned upon particularly since contraception did not exist and religion was strictly followed by most people. People in the present have an unhealthy tendency of reflecting back on the past with rose tinited glasses – sorry for being a party pooper!

  7. pregnantwild

    08/07/2013 at 3:22 AM

    The issue Is that individuals are saying this right after too. lol.

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