Oh, he mad as F*^K
On Monday, I posted an article on how Useful Relationship Advice SHOULD Hurt Your Feelings which ended up turning into a discussion on Male bloggers and their perceived responsibility to create more fair and balanced posts (to which I completely disagree with). One point that I made is that the blogosphere is comprised mostly of women, and ridiculous rhetoric is a thing done by BOTH sexes, NOT just primarily men. Well, before you all sit back and actually get into the REAL point of the post I want you to read THIS ARTICLE.
For those of you without the patience to read the full article, let me sum it up for you: It’s entitled “The Top 10 Reasons Black Women Are Disgusted with the Way the Black Man is Handling Himself” and it is chalk-full of intellectually profound gems such as: “Black men seem to have the lamest dating strategies”, “Black guys love screaming loyalty but are usually the most unloyal ones”, and “Most men wouldn’t know how to take care of home without a woman”. Whether you decided to read the entire article or not, one thing should be patently clear: The writer’s perception of the Black-dating dynamic is more indicative of HER own dating decisions than of the community at large.
Let’s keep it funky for a second: If you date, congregate and conjugate with only FROWSY ass people, your negative perception of the dating scene is not true of the MAJORITY, but just simply reflective of the fact that you continually make terrible F*^King decisions (see what I did there?). I’m sick and damn tired of hearing women complain about ALL men, or a LARGE group of men by using generalized characteristics that do nothing but represent the WORST of mankind. All men DON’T cheat, all men are NOT afraid of marriage, all men DON’T smash jumpoffs raw dog and all men ain’t out here pushing candy-painted ‘lacs trying to get chicks with pink and lime weaves to give us head in the front seat so we can record it and post it on Worldstar – just the dudes YOU date.
ANOTHER incarcerated boyfriend? Yeah, it's IMPOSSIBLE to find a dude without a record huh?
It makes me absolutely SICK to hear dudes complain about all women being stanking-ass gold-diggers, or complaining that all women are just trying to TRAP a dude with an illegitimate baby, or that all women spend their baby bonus and food stamp money on getting her hair and nails did, because that’s not reflective of ALL women – just the ratchet heffas YOU date.
If there’s one statement I CONSTANTLY make on this site it’s this: At some point you have to look at what YOU are doing wrong. F*^K what major media is trying to propagate, the reality is there ARE good single men and women out there, and there ARE people who would better suit YOU than the frowsy candidates you are bringing into your life. Either go find THEM or refrain from trying to have us believe sh*t is THAT bad, just because YOUR dating life is musty as hell.
This Is Your Conscience
55 Comments, Comment or Ping
lincolnanthonyblades
Ladies & Gentlemen, Do You Feel People Have VERY Valid Complaints When It Comes To Dating, Or Do You Believe We Are All Mostly Complicit In Our Dating Failures Because Of WHO We CHOOSE To Date?
Jul 27th, 2012
Sian
Agreed! very well put.
Jul 27th, 2012
lincolnanthonyblades
Thanks For Reading Sian.
Jul 27th, 2012
Sophia
Loved this and its very true – but I do feel to point out I think that article was in response to this article http://www.inflexwetrust.com/2012/07/25/guest-blo…
So I think it was more in retaliation rather than what she actually thinks but I may be wrong
Jul 27th, 2012
petersburgh
Co-Sign. Neither men or women like to admit it but we do generalise too much
Jul 27th, 2012
ATLienSince82
Damn both of them rants were stupid as hell lol
Jul 27th, 2012
ATLienSince82
At this point, the only people more stupid than the ones writing that crap is the ones reading it..
Jul 27th, 2012
Crystals_Back
The only thing that's really troubling is when someone grown is saying these things….it's OK for a baby because he or she don't know no better, but when you get grown, if you know better you should do better!!
Jul 27th, 2012
Crystals_Back
I still think men generalize much more than women do!
Jul 27th, 2012
Paul B.
The complaints may be valid, but the problem is where the responsibility lies. Yeah,they can be mad all they want about their choices but they should be mad at the person in the mirror for making such continually f****d up choices in dating instead of expecting somebody else to validate their bad decisions.
Jul 27th, 2012
petersburgh
Fair enough but for me I don't really care who does it more. Either side it puts us at a disadvantage whether we are the perpetrators or notSent from my BlackBerry® wireless device from LIME.
Jul 27th, 2012
BADDEST
Its a tough one….on one hand you get back from life what you put in….on the other there are plenty of stupid people in the world anxiously waiting to waste your time…..
I'm currently in the process of teaching my 6 year old how to identify good and bad friendships….and only because at the end of the day he needs to learn that NO MATTER who did what or said what….HE is responsible for his involvment with others…..SO, bringing that back to the adult dating world I realise is pretty much the same principle…..
We can and have all complained about crappy moments in our dating lives…some take it overboard….i just think that at the very least included in that complaint about whoever you dated should be a thought on what in the hell lead YOU to date that person at that time…youth, desperation, lack of confidence, their false advertising….whatever shameful adjective it is…just be man or woman enough to admit your mistakes to yourself and LEARN.
Jul 27th, 2012
iamkeishabrown
i think that was an unfair summation, but whatever. not going there.
Jul 27th, 2012
HerCommonSense
Agreed.
It probably doesn't matter who does it more if it ends up hurting us both equally in the end..
Jul 27th, 2012
HerCommonSense
I think the smarter thing would have been to write a piece explaining how this piece is garbage, instead of participating in the same ignorance.
Jul 27th, 2012
HerCommonSense
Extremely. Where's the maturity?
Jul 27th, 2012
HerCommonSense
Lmao. I think the people who believe it are the ones who are worst than both of those.
Jul 27th, 2012
HerCommonSense
Unfortunately age does not indicate maturity.
Jul 27th, 2012
HerCommonSense
Nowadays it feels like asking people to have personal responsibility is far too much of a monumental task. It's really kind of sad.
Jul 27th, 2012
HerCommonSense
Really? Why do you say that?
Jul 27th, 2012
HerCommonSense
True. But I think people find it too difficult to point out what they did wrong, plus when you are hurt it's hard to see what you may have done to contribute to that.
Jul 27th, 2012
iluvwhoiluv
You have that right!
Jul 27th, 2012
iluvwhoiluv
I didn't mind the writer of that article stating her viewpoints. The only thing I did find fault with was the fact that she used her experiences to speak for all black women and made it seem as if all black men were like the ones she dealt with.
Jul 27th, 2012
BADDEST
yep…and I think that happens because people are ashamed…even ashamed to be honest with themselves……useless pride, which is funny as hell to me…because we can all go on like that… but no one should expect to progress through denial…
being hard on yourself is a great thing in almost all scenarios…
Jul 27th, 2012
Adonis
No we don't… We just don't like the generalization and/or stereotypes if they are negative… boom
Jul 27th, 2012
Adonis
True, however when are BW going to acknowledge that they basically hand over BM to WW/Non-BW on a silver platter because of their inability to handle basic issues (outside of OOW children) inside of their control.
Jul 27th, 2012
Adonis
I admit that interracial dating topics (white women > black women) & Black male bashing never gets old…
Jul 27th, 2012
Adonis
What a surprise. LOL
Jul 27th, 2012
Adonis
Lincoln, what women in general do, what we call in the manosphere is a simple apex fallacy.
Most men, if they are not attractive (even though they would provide & ride for a woman and their offspring), DO NOT EXIST. And the men that do exist, then to be of the player kind.
So there, that is where their bs springs from.
Black Women in the West have to make a decision fast about the type of men they want to entertain.
CADS vs. DADS. The black world will continue tear itself apart if BW keep entertaining and promoting CADS as the men they want to reproduce with,
but I refuse to encourage the DADS to engage with washed-up high mileage h*es & raise another man's child. So eff her & move on, and watch the black community burn.
Jul 27th, 2012
HerCommonSense
Explain please..
Jul 27th, 2012
HerCommonSense
Huh?!
Jul 27th, 2012
HerCommonSense
Exactly my point too. At least one paragraph stating the positives of black men may have gone along way to make her not look bitter.
Jul 27th, 2012
HerCommonSense
Ashamed is a great word! And to add to that, I don't think it's specific to relationships either, I think it also encapsulates a problem with our society at large these days. We never want to acknowledge our responsibility on any level and it eventually seeps into our relationships.
Jul 27th, 2012
Adonis
Who?!
Jul 27th, 2012
Adonis
If I said I think most American BW are the most beautiful women on earth, nobody protests.
If I say American white women are better dating prospects than american black women, I am generalizing too much.
I believe in both generalizations, the former is accepted, the other one is controversial
Jul 27th, 2012
HerCommonSense
Hmmm…I can see what you are saying, but both comments need different levels of layering.
If you say American BW are the most beautiful women on earth, you are just stating your preference which no one can really argue because it's your opinion. It's nice to hear, so you will get props for that..
if you say American white women are better dating prospects, you need to back that assertion up with facts or more layers to your opinions.
Jul 27th, 2012
HerCommonSense
I'm not familiar with your acronyms, unfortunately.
Jul 27th, 2012
ChloeRayne516
Oh Boyyy.
*RollingEyes*
Jul 27th, 2012
Chloerayne516
Yeah, he lost me with "CADS'' what is that??!!!!
Jul 27th, 2012
BADDEST
So where does the shame come ?
obviously its self inflicted, but when did it become so terrible for our concious to personally guide us? I'll tell you when…..when society as a whole shifted to quick fix mentality….when we gave our powers of self reflection away to the "corporation" …..a world where you can buy whatever solution you need to not feel the momentary burn of self reproach…..it comes down to widely accepted consumerism….
you dont like your face? …..there's always botox…..you have an issue with your man….there's more on facebook…..you get violently victimised at the movies?…..f*ck the tragedy of it, sue Warner Bros.!
…..i may be reaching with this theory but its the only thing that makes any sense as to the "why" for me….
Jul 27th, 2012
Chloerayne516
This makes entirely too much SENSE..
COSIGN!!!!!
Jul 27th, 2012
M-J
A cad ia a bad character. People don't use this word much anymore. I tend to consider it obsolete.
From the Merriam-Webster Dictionary: "a man who acts with deliberate disregard for another's feelings or rights"
Jul 27th, 2012
DatchikMalix
THIS ARTICLE IS THE TRUTH!!!
since i’m in a relationship (not trying to brag) i get all my single friends complain about the single life and how HORRID the dating field has gotten (makes me REALLY appreciate the man that i’m with that’s for sure!!)
…BUT i’ve always advised them to change their surroundings and maybe they might meet some one new and intresting.
NOT ONLY THAT (Lincl i know u already touched on this sort of) but if you are keen on being with a SPECIFIC type of guy who has all these goals/accomplishments…WHAT ARE YOU BRINGING TO THE TABLE.
either way…my point is…if your good in your skin and know what you want and not afriad to be OPEN MINDED (main reason why people STAY single).
ok i’m done lol
Jul 27th, 2012
mena
"turning into a discussion on Male bloggers and their perceived responsibility to create more fair and balanced posts" I didint think this was the point you were trying to make either. I thought you were just saying that you can't tell people how to read or perceive your (the bloggers) work.
Jul 27th, 2012
iamkeishabrown
pretty much.
Jul 27th, 2012
iamkeishabrown
exactly.
Jul 27th, 2012
BADDEST
what did you complain about when you were single?__did your relationship just happen? or do you think you followed the specifics of what you advise your friends to find him?
Not a challenge just think its an interesting point to develop on…..kinda along the lines of….does it all become clearer when one is in a relationship vs. does the loneliness of being single make us less able to reason or self manifest typa stuff.
Jul 27th, 2012
BADDEST
and here i though i was in conspiracy territory …LOL
Jul 27th, 2012
Paul B.
But it still amounts to being his opinion; one being more likely to be accepted without question, the other continually being questioned and attacked to no end.
Jul 27th, 2012
Paul B.
What I see on these boards is proof of that, especially coming from some of these women on here. Talk about personal responsibility, it becomes making them responsible for somebody else's actions and choices. Hell, you can't take responsibility for your own actions, do you really think you can be trusted to be responsible for somebody else's?
Jul 27th, 2012
Adonis
Thank you Paul
Jul 28th, 2012
Adonis
Cads = Player
Jul 28th, 2012
lady_d
I'm sooo happy I found this site and read this! I've been running into the same lame ass, broke and horny dudes most of my life. I pretty much stop dating and finally came to the conclusion….I'TS ME! And I'm not ashamed to admit it. Change is necessary for growth…
Aug 15th, 2012
Qiana M
Thank you to the author for pointing out the flaws and tendencies of BOTH Black men AND women in making poor choices. Its not one or the other people! WE BOTH DO IT! There are Black men that chase ratchet, ignorant, hoes and Black women that fall for no good, broke, womanizing, wanna be ballers and thugs. I get so sick of the Black women that consistently complain about the lack of good Black men and I am especially sick of the Black men who claim they are not retaliating to these Black women's complaints yet throw all Black women under the bus while praising women of other races. Wasn't the mother, aunt, grandmother and or great grandmother that raised most of you Black? Aren't you? Every male and female of EACH RACE have their own set of problems. NO ONE is perfect and all the flaws and issues plaguing the Black male-female relationship/Black family dynamic aren't exclusive to Black people. What is exclusive to the Black male AND female on how they relate to each other is all the finger pointing, lack of accountability, bitterness and name calling we inflict on each other out of hurt, ignorance, resentment, denial, naivety and lack of taking responsibility. If you've made bad choices in dating/choosing a mate, own up to those choices. We are all human. That is part of our design. Maybe there is a reason why you haven't found the right person for you. Its not all external. It could be because you need to work on yourself first. Too many Black men and women talking about how they want the perfect man or woman and youre all messed up inside. GET IT TOGETHER! Reflect and be the change you want to be. Stop dealing with basic, ratchet, ignorant people. Better yourself, expand your network, form a relationship with God until then Black men you'll still be complaining about all the gold digging women after your riches or the angry, crazy or unstable women that can't appreciate a good man yet love thugs. And Black women you'll be complaining about the whorish men that sleep with anything walking and the no goals having, trifling, disrespectful, abusive men that dog you yet you continue to deal with them. Its DIVIDE AND CONQUER and we CONTINUE to fall for it!!!!
Aug 24th, 2012
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