Now that I’ve been blogging for just over two years, there is ONE complaint I am definitely familiar with when it comes to men and women who read this blog, as well as many others all over the relationship advice/insight blogosphere [especially when it comes to material MEN write]. The complaint is simply that many people [predominantly women] feel inundated with so much harsh advice, ruthless critiques, and horrific insights that it makes them feel negatively about the material they are reading, the dating scene in general and sometimes even themselves and their chances at finding love. If this is how YOU feel when reading THIS site – I’m GLAD.
Now I can’t speak for other websites and blogs because, to be honest, I am almost ALWAYS writing which leaves me little to no time to peruse other bloggers work, so I will speak for myself in this sense. I have NEVER written ONE mean-spirited post on this site and I always offer NOTHING but one man’s honest opinion and insights on the dating scene. While some writers may focus on over-the-top negativity or complete BS pandering in order to make women feel good about themselves, I believe the truth is ALWAYS the most helpful remedy to ANY situation. So if I’ve ever written anything that has hurt your feelings, I would like to say from the bottom of my heart, I’m genuinely HAPPY it did. F*^K your feelings.
Now when I say F*^K your feelings, I don’t mean F*^K your emotions, I mean F*^K that thing that is completely screwing you over in your own love life. And this goes for men and women of ALL ages, hell including myself: F*^K your feelings. Whenever someone announces to me that their feelings have been hurt over something they read, the first question I ask is: “How did you process it intellectually?” If the say “I don’t know” or some version of that, it means they haven’t processed the information intellectually and THAT’S a HUGE problem when it comes to dating. The best advice you get about relationships should cause an “AHA!” moment – a moment which flies in the face of what your FEELINGS may have you believing.
Please understand people that it’s our CONSCIENCE that tries to protect us, guide us and help us navigate through love and relationships, but often times we IGNORE it. It’s not that we are stupid and get our hearts broken because we didn’t KNOW better, because a lot of the time we are simply being WILFULLY IGNORANT of the truth we simply DON’T want to hear or address. But it’s COMPLETELY IGNORING your conscience and blindly following your FEELINGS that makes you stay in an unhappy relationship, or lets you continually be taken advantage of by some douchebag and/or makes you miss a frowsy ex that treated you like SH*T.
My definition of TRUE LOVE is when your mind and heart come together as one to realize you are BLESSED to have that person in your life. Without that symbiotic relationship, you will either find yourself in a heartbreaking union or walking away from the best thing that may have ever happened to you.
Just realize that our feelings, as a stand-alone perspective, SUCK. Our feelings are so arbitrary, irrational and stubborn that we will easily fight for things our conscience warns us against. Everyone of us receives USEFUL relationship insight and advice from our conscience EVERYDAY, but we IGNORE it, because it ANNOYS us. Our conscience keeps us up at night, whispering realities into our minds we DON’T want to hear. Our conscience will drive us to REQUIRE having our actions co-signed from friends, family members and even bloggers/writers in a vain attempt to overpower it – and it hurts our FEELINGS when we get NO-SIGNED in return.
But before you cuss, feel down, get mad or more depressed, I will ask that you allow your conscience into your relationship discussions with your heart. Whether you love or hate what your conscience tells you, it will definitely lead you down a path towards happier and more fulfilling relationships so you can STOP slamming your fists down on your keyboard in anger, and start going out and doing the Michelle Obama “Life’s Good” 2 step.
This Is Your Conscience