Wanna Put An END To B*tchassness? Men Just Need To Realize ONE Simple Thing

As defined by the Urban Dictionary:

B*tchassness: A newly discovered disease running rampant, especially amongst men in an urban community.

symptoms include:
1. punkish tendencies
see p*ssy or p*ssy nigga
2. cattiness, such as talking behind someone’s back
3. thinking highly of yourself, but only expressing it under your breath
4. claiming “hurt feelings” when you are called out on your bullsh*t

This disease effects much too many men, because they don’t actualize the one statement that will save their sorry-a*s lives: “I know I’m not EVER going to hit that.”

I am man enough to admit that when I was younger I had a little b*tchassness in me. As a young man born to traditional West Indian parents, I was taught the ins and outs of being polite, proper and mannerly (traits that many Bajans highly regard). I internalized this as the rudimentary characteristics of being a Nice Guy and carried these traits throughout my life especially in interactions with women. Why am I going into all of this? Because we need to understand where B*tchassness mainly derives from: Women.

The reason men act like moist nani’s in front of women is because 97.27% of the time their actions can be traced back to trying to get a woman, impress a woman, or do what he thinks she wants him to do. And the reality is Weak Men (full up of B*tchassness) usually act like this because they FAIL to realize one simple principle of being a man: It’s OK to act like yourself and not put on airs around every woman even if they get UPSET with you because you will NOT have SEX with every woman.

That little Bajan boy that I told you about earlier who was overly polite, acquiesced to every woman’s demands and thought he was respecting women by not cussing, disagreeing or even calling women out on their bullsh*t, DIED a terrible death – and this MAN writing this Blog is what is left standing. A man who is confident in stating his opinions, thoughts and beliefs all because I realized that all those times I thought I was being “Nice” by being agreeable, I was actually just exhibiting STRONG B*tchass characteristics, because I always had an intrinsic fear of women not liking me.

Then I grew up. And realized I’m NOT going to sleep with every woman in the world therefore I should have NO compulsion to attempt to be amicable to every woman in the world.

The second I realized this, I started to speak with a little more bass in my voice and be ME, instead of the caricature I thought I needed to be. I began stating my views and opinions on things (even in large groups of women) regardless of if I knew the women around me would disagree because at the end of the day, being real to myself was more important than trying to only act pleasing to them, when basic common sense tells you “You’re not gonna hit every woman in the world.”

I am more than convinced the reason most men aren’t forthright about their opinions, desires and do the things they WANT to do, is because they are afflicted by the disease of b*tchassness and desperately need to be cured. Well here’s step one: Next time you are in a debate, discussion, disagreement or even just a date, and you find yourself struggling with saying and doing what you REALLY WANT to and what you THINK you have to, remember that, you acting like an agreeable beeyotch is NOT what’s hot in the streets to women and imagine how much it will BURN to see her choose a guy over you who did everything you WANTED to but DIDN’T have the heart to.

This Is Your Conscience

When Lincoln Anthony Blades is not writing for his controversial and critically acclaimed blog ThisIsYourConscience.com, he can be found contributing articles for Uptown Magazine. Lincoln wrote the hilarious and insightful book "You're Not A Victim, You're A Volunteer: How To Stop Letting Love Kick Your Ass". He is also a public speaker who has sat on panels all over North America and the Caribbean.

17 Comments

  1. maxfab

    11/15/2010 at 11:12 AM

    I love this. You're so right.

    As a woman who is constantly putting her opinions out into the universe, I encounter more than my fair share of bitch-ass co-signing negroes who think that agreeing with me is the quickest route to my ladyflower. It's sickening.

    I find the assumption that I'm not smart enough to recognize when a man is lying through his teeth pretending to agree with something when I know he doesn't offensive.

    If he's enough of a p*ssy that he will abandon his point of view just for some skirt, he will never hit this.

    • The_Mad_HATER

      11/15/2010 at 11:10 AM

      there it is from the mouth of a woman! bitchassnegroes aka bans, yall need to listen up!

    • ATLienSince82

      11/15/2010 at 11:38 AM

      Max you are so right! I completely agree with everything you wrote! I love intelligent black women like you who know what the deal is.

      ..can i get a lil' sumthin sumthin??

      • imakesense

        11/17/2010 at 7:53 PM

        thats it, we're getting a divorce, you can't stay faithful (throws e-ring back)

    • MistaHarsh

      11/15/2010 at 7:41 PM

      I co-sign NOTHING you just wrote. As a matter of fact I STRONGLY disagree with everything you just said ; )

    • Adonis

      07/09/2012 at 10:55 AM

      I will be f*cking on Max in the near future

  2. Queen Erudite

    11/15/2010 at 11:15 AM

    How much of an affliction is this in the urban community? Does this happen very often according to this article?

    • Crystal Promo-Fernandez

      11/15/2010 at 11:27 AM

      It affects the community more than you would think!

      It just feels like men don't praise being manly anymore. From the way these guys dress, talk, act and how it seems they have more estrogen and worst menstrual cycles than I do! LMAO

      I think the simple thing men need to realize is that real men are suppose to be strong and not pushovers.

    • ATLienSince82

      11/15/2010 at 11:37 AM

      This disease is spreading like the plague…I see bitchassness everyday of my life and its true that men need to regulate their emotions towards girls. When did getting scared to say your damn opinion become hot in the streets??

  3. Independent Woman

    11/15/2010 at 11:45 AM

    How does bitchassness derive from women?

    Women have been begging men to be men since the beginning of time. How about bitchassness derives from ball-less men who would rather do the dougie, wear skinny jeans and act overemotional all the damn time.

    • Junior Barnswell

      11/15/2010 at 3:28 PM

      I think you are speaking to a specific type of male and not males in general.

  4. Junior Barnswell

    11/15/2010 at 4:01 PM

    I just read this article and though I agree with 92.7% of it, there remains 7.3% where I don't. May I point out that bitchasss-ness crosses all colour barriers and it not just a black thing. Secondly, I believe being polite should not and does not correlate with being a "bitch-ass". Manners are the foundation of any true gentleman.

    If you would like to trace the root of men pandering to woman; it stems from feminist and our misandrist society. Now before some of you jump down my throat, you should really know that feminism is movement that is rooted in misandry (the hate of man). It has nothing to do with equal right for woman. The following excerpts are quotes by founding feminist that will support my argument:

    “We are, as a sex, infinitely superior to men…”
    Elizabeth Cady Stanton

    "To be male is to be a kind of idiot savant"
    Germaine Greer

    “..the ratio of men to women must be radically reduced so that men approximate only ten percent of the total population"
    Sally Gearhart, The Future is Female

    Now with that being said, I do recognize that there are men that will pander to women for the opportunity of sex. It doesn't change the fact that men are not celebrated in society by our female counterparts on a large scale. Strong role male models have been visibly reduced in all facets of media from print to television. For example: Take your typical family structured sitcom. The mother is always the "rock" of the family, while the husband is usually a clumsy, bumbling idiot. These are images that you males perceive as being the norm. Add to the fact that male father figures are being reduced in the household, lack of male teachers in the school system and beavers & cub scouts have been tainted by pedo's; you will have more generations of "wussies" to come!

  5. Adrian

    11/18/2010 at 11:59 AM

    Co-to-tha-muth-effin-utmost-Sign 100%
    "…because at the end of the day, being real to myself was more important than trying to only act pleasing to them…"
    Absolute truth right there!
    I'm a "bitchassness" survivor, I was long afflicted by the disease but through age, maturity, and the knowledge I found in web-based articles similar yours, I made a full recovery. I wish I had this article posted on my room wall for, at least, 10 years of my life so it could serve as a reminder every day.
    Now that I'm in reminisce mode, I'll refer to this statement:
    "I began stating my views and opinions on things (even in large groups of women) regardless of if I knew the women around me would disagree… "
    A few months ago I was caught up in this same scenario. A "friendly" debate with my peers, soon became heated as all the women were breathing down my neck, yelling at me as if they were at the stock exchange. I still held my own. Even the b*tchass men who were present started taking the female's side, but I did not budge in my opinion. Eventually, fed up because this was one of those rare occasions where I knew I was right and everybody else was wrong, I stood up outta my seat and exclaimed, "I'm the only real man speakin' truth. Every man here feels the same way I do but is too p*ssy to say it!" I swear I heard some dudes dramatically gasp like their moms in church when the pastor delivers some shocking news. It was a proud moment for me, posing like Ali standing over Liston, for I knew how far I'd come. Sadly, some of the guys present still have a ways to go. smh

  6. petersburgh

    07/09/2012 at 6:57 AM

    I agree mostly with this topic. Men need to be able to say how they feel around anyone regardless of gender, race etc. Being Bajan I can relate because we always had to say morning and pleasantries to everyone we meet and while I don't think that that alone makes you a b*tch, I do think that believing you must deviate from being yourself to woo a woman is. Yes we do try to be gentler than we usually are around women but becoming a flower just to bed a woman is downright stupid especially if the woman has any sense to see what you're trying to do.

    I think we all had a little b*tch in us when we were younger but sadly some still have it till this day. Be a man and stand up to what you believe in. However, if someone has a valid point note it because agree with something someone says even if it contradicts what you say is not being a b*tch. It's just accepting a person with a different point of view has an intelligent point

    • mena

      07/09/2012 at 9:24 AM

      "However, if someone has a valid point note it because agree with something someone says even if it contradicts what you say is not being a b*tch. It's just accepting a person with a different point of view has an intelligent point." Agreed. The flip side of this argument is that some may feel that in order to gain the respect of a woman, they need to be jerks. Not at all. State your opinion, argue it without belittling the other person and then keep it moving. Our entire political environment should take a class on this.

  7. Paul B.

    07/10/2012 at 2:32 AM

    This article is as truthful as it gets. If you sell your self respect to get some cookies, you lose out twice: your dignity is gone, and you're not getting the thing you were really after. Once a woman has no respect for you as a man, you'll never touch her womanly places.

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