When It Comes To Unfair Spousal Support, We Need To Start Blaming THE COURTS [By: MistaHarsh]

In the wake of the Linc’s article about Chris Bosh’s legal battles with his daughter’s mother and the head scratching case of $2600/month, I came across a more interesting story about child support and legal obligation. 

Enter The Star’s article: http://www.thestar.com/news/gta/article/1220096–deadbeat-dad-flees-to-philippines-leaving-four-kids-without-support

This dad decided to strategically up and leave the country for the Philippines where the Family Responsibility Office has no legal jurisdiction. Catch me if you can, b*tches. Let me break down some of the details:

• The couple was married for 22 years split in 2005 and produced 4 kids, 3 of which require some sort of medical treatment
• In 2008 they both came to an agreement that the man would pay child support and she would get sole custody of the kids and no more spousal support in exchange for their home valued at 1.2 million after buying him out of his rights for $175k
• The house also includes property that is rented out and brings in $2000/month
• In the next few years there was feuding due to her inability to work and the children’s medical issues (cancer, addiction etc.)
• The woman asked for spousal support and in 2011 she was awarded $2235/month for child support and $1537 in spousal support(based on a $100k salary and Bosh makes 18 mil hmmmmmm….) plus retro pay and payment for her legal fees
• Upon hearing this the man sold his other home cashed his pension, paid his bills and left the country with his new wife and sent a douchey email for a goodbye
• More than 120, 000 parents are in arrears in Ontario from spousal and child support owing more than 1.8 billion to ex-wives and children

This is a fiery subject as we’ve seen from the responses on Linc’s article and the almost 300+ responses from the Star’s story. There’s more than enough finger pointing at the “deadbeat” dad or the “playing the victim” mom that people forget the real tragedy here: The children lost their father and their financial support. On top of that they are put in a position where they have to take sides between the 2 most important people in their lives. The 11 year old already calls his dad a “deadbeat dad”…where do you think he learned that from?

The second tragedy (and the one I want to stress) is that the court system creates divisions and wedges between families who are already in a volatile and fragile state. The man even admits that skipping out on child support and his kid’s lives was wrong but he’s adamant not to pay a dime in spousal support and vows never to return to Canada. Did the woman’s lawyer advise her that this could happen? I bet not. Now not only does she not get the spousal support she requested she’s not going to get the child support the father was willing to give in the first place.

I refuse to point fingers at this couple or at Bosh and Allison especially when the stories never seem to explain why these relationships failed. My beef is with the court system. The lawyers who use clients as pawns to joust with their colleagues. Judges who don’t take into account how the payer’s quality of life is affected. It’s unfair. It’s unreasonable. It will lead to more outlandish stories like this one. And through it all the court will always get their money even if the children don’t. One commenter summed it up for me: “How do you expect the father to pay for two households with one income?”

There has to be a better way…for everyone.

If you enjoyed reading this piece please make sure to SUBSCRIBE to all NEW ThisIsYourConscience.com posts by entering your e-mail address in the box in the upper right hand corner. Your continued support is greatly appreciated!

When Lincoln Anthony Blades is not writing for his controversial and critically acclaimed blog ThisIsYourConscience.com, he can be found contributing articles for Uptown Magazine. Lincoln wrote the hilarious and insightful book "You're Not A Victim, You're A Volunteer: How To Stop Letting Love Kick Your Ass". He is also a public speaker who has sat on panels all over North America and the Caribbean.


  1. lincolnanthonyblades

    07/04/2012 at 2:33 AM

    Ladies & Gentlemen, Do You Think The LEGAL SYSTEM Needs To Be Adequately Blamed For The Unfair Rulings In These Cases?

    Also, Do You Think Hans Miller Was DEAD WRONG For Leaving The Country To Avoid Paying Child/Spousal Support, Or Do You Think He Was Justified For Doing What He Did?

  2. J. A. Johnson

    07/04/2012 at 4:09 AM

    Before I comment, let me state: Bosh's lawyer made a public statement. Bosh pays for the child's medical bills, school bills, extra schooling bills, set up a college fund, and takes care of the rest of the child's bills. And not to mention…he gave the child's mother $250k in 2010. So before people comment and bash Bosh….let's get some things straight.

    Secondly, I agree with you completely. Although I don't plan on divorcing (most people don't) and will do whatever it takes for my future marriage to work, I will have a pre-nup (for insurance). Although they are not always iron-clad these days…there must be something done to make break ups better and easier. Especially for the kids. That father did a horrible thing…but that much money every month (and we don't know what else he was doing for the kids) is a bit much. I see why he ran…but he's still wrong for doing it.

    Lastly, his ex wife is wrong. She has a space to rent, child support, and money for spousal support? I really think she did this out of spite. Understandable that the kids have medical problems, but there are other ways to fix that problem.

  3. GrandCentral

    07/04/2012 at 4:33 PM

    I'm actually quite offended by the actions of Hans Miller. My own father did the same back in 1999 and it was a huge blow to my family. My father who then had dual citizenship between the United States and Guyana, left his high paying job and went back to his country. He then proceeded to start a new family and has 5 additional kids today. My mother struggled to take care of myself and my sister and has been in financial ruin until this day. Reading this actually got me upset all over again and brought back some old feelings of anger. Even though I have done pretty well for myself as an adult, there a gaps in my life today that would exist, had my father put the well being of me and my sister, over his own selfishness and greed. I really would like to see all the bickering on this topic come to an end. Take care of your fucking children – that's the bottom line. Stop being so obsessed and concern with what the mother is doing with the mother. Take an active role in your child or children's life if it bothers you so much. This guy is a scumbag and anyone who can say they agree with his actions is a scumbag as well. There are so many things that children need that the monthly support accounts for. There are school trips, co-pays for medical, monumental events (prom, homecoming), the list goes on. I am telling you all, because I lived it, this is not something to commend anyone for. It's heartless and I pray for this mother and her children, because I know exactly what they are going through.

  4. Adonis

    07/04/2012 at 6:11 PM

    MistaHarsh you did a MASTERFUL job breaking this topic down… Lincoln you have a winner

  5. mena

    07/04/2012 at 6:16 PM

    Dead wrong or justified, I don't know. If we look at the facts, both settled on the terms and conditions. He would not pay spousal support but would pay child support, gave her the million dollar home, and a rental income of 2k. She signed the document and all was said and done. Then, a few years later bc she was unable to work (why?) the court orders this guy to not only pay spousal support but to retro pay her as well as her legal fees? That's ridiculous. Here's the thing, the courts need to stop looking at women as weak individuals but as actual adults. You already signed a document that had everything laid out legally and yet, bc you paraded your sick kids in front of the courts and you can't or won't work you now want more. Stop. When you fought for sole custody, that's what you got. When you wanted child support, you got that too. Oh, and the million dollar home that you could have sold and moved to a smaller less expensive property, you have that as well. Should this man take care of his kids (not including the 19 yrs old since he is an adult) sure. But where do we draw the line of supporting your children vs. paying for your exes lifestyle arrangements? Spousal support was introduced bc women were getting screwed when their husbands left them back in the day bc they were stay at home wives and moms. Women can now work outside of the home and bring home more income than their husbands. When courts rule in these cases, they are sort of treating women like little children that need to be nurtured and protected. It's sad. I honestly don't blame the guy. It's messed up as all get out but who is to say that she wouldn't come for him a third or fourth time. Obviously the courts didn't "protect" him by giving a fair ruling so why shouldn't he leave? The children will suffer for this and that's the sad part. Crap like this breeds resentment between both of the exes. This seems to be bordering on the line of hatred for each other.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *