When It Comes To Unfair Spousal Support, We Need To Start Blaming THE COURTS [By: MistaHarsh]

In the wake of the Linc’s article about Chris Bosh’s legal battles with his daughter’s mother and the head scratching case of $2600/month, I came across a more interesting story about child support and legal obligation. 

Enter The Star’s article: http://www.thestar.com/news/gta/article/1220096–deadbeat-dad-flees-to-philippines-leaving-four-kids-without-support

This dad decided to strategically up and leave the country for the Philippines where the Family Responsibility Office has no legal jurisdiction. Catch me if you can, b*tches. Let me break down some of the details:

• The couple was married for 22 years split in 2005 and produced 4 kids, 3 of which require some sort of medical treatment
• In 2008 they both came to an agreement that the man would pay child support and she would get sole custody of the kids and no more spousal support in exchange for their home valued at 1.2 million after buying him out of his rights for $175k
• The house also includes property that is rented out and brings in $2000/month
• In the next few years there was feuding due to her inability to work and the children’s medical issues (cancer, addiction etc.)
• The woman asked for spousal support and in 2011 she was awarded $2235/month for child support and $1537 in spousal support(based on a $100k salary and Bosh makes 18 mil hmmmmmm….) plus retro pay and payment for her legal fees
• Upon hearing this the man sold his other home cashed his pension, paid his bills and left the country with his new wife and sent a douchey email for a goodbye
• More than 120, 000 parents are in arrears in Ontario from spousal and child support owing more than 1.8 billion to ex-wives and children

This is a fiery subject as we’ve seen from the responses on Linc’s article and the almost 300+ responses from the Star’s story. There’s more than enough finger pointing at the “deadbeat” dad or the “playing the victim” mom that people forget the real tragedy here: The children lost their father and their financial support. On top of that they are put in a position where they have to take sides between the 2 most important people in their lives. The 11 year old already calls his dad a “deadbeat dad”…where do you think he learned that from?

The second tragedy (and the one I want to stress) is that the court system creates divisions and wedges between families who are already in a volatile and fragile state. The man even admits that skipping out on child support and his kid’s lives was wrong but he’s adamant not to pay a dime in spousal support and vows never to return to Canada. Did the woman’s lawyer advise her that this could happen? I bet not. Now not only does she not get the spousal support she requested she’s not going to get the child support the father was willing to give in the first place.

I refuse to point fingers at this couple or at Bosh and Allison especially when the stories never seem to explain why these relationships failed. My beef is with the court system. The lawyers who use clients as pawns to joust with their colleagues. Judges who don’t take into account how the payer’s quality of life is affected. It’s unfair. It’s unreasonable. It will lead to more outlandish stories like this one. And through it all the court will always get their money even if the children don’t. One commenter summed it up for me: “How do you expect the father to pay for two households with one income?”

There has to be a better way…for everyone.

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When Lincoln Anthony Blades is not writing for his controversial and critically acclaimed blog ThisIsYourConscience.com, he can be found contributing articles for Uptown Magazine. Lincoln wrote the hilarious and insightful book "You're Not A Victim, You're A Volunteer: How To Stop Letting Love Kick Your Ass". He is also a public speaker who has sat on panels all over North America and the Caribbean.

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