Evelyn & Chad Broke The #1 Rule Of BALLING & GOLD-DIGGING

It was all good just a week ago…

The most hilarious part about the show Basketball Wives is the fact that there are people who actually BELIEVE it’s real. As much as I was hard pressed to accept that reality, I now realize that some folk really think that those TERRIBLE actors and CORNY-ASS scenes are actually an unscripted look into the day-to-day lives of quasi-celebs and D-listers. I mention that because of the DISASTROUS incident that occurred this past weekend where Chad Johnson “allegedly” went Hacksaw Jim Duggan on Evelyn during an argument and head-butted the SH*T out of her, resulting in his arrest. Many people aren’t surprised because of Evelyn’s character on the show, but what they DON’T realize is this is NOT part of “the game”, and Evelyn [in conjunction with Chad’s STUPID-ASS] just broke the FIRST rule of the Baller/Gold-Digger covenant.

So here’s the story [for those of you who DON’T know]: Saturday night Chad & Evelyn went to a restaurant for dinner and when they returned home she found a receipt for a box of condoms in their home. An angry argument ensued and they butted heads leading to a large laceration on Evelyn’s face. The cops came, saw Evelyn and arrested Chad. He says it was an accident, and she says it was intentional and now she’s pressing charges.

For those of you who DON’T remember, about a year ago I posted about the Baller/Gold-Digger Covenant HERE [Ironically based around the show Basketball Wives as my example] which essentially outlines the terms of the deal that rich men make with sexy h0es when they decide to date one another: It is a fair and equitable trade of nani and finance. As long as he keeps providing an exclusive, all-access pass into his wallet, she keeps providing an exclusive, all-access pass into her nani, with a mutual-understanding that they are essentially USING each other, but they are OK with that. It’s how they CHOOSE to live and there’s nothing wrong with that. BUT, this arrangement DOES come with one important rule that is clearly outlined in the Gold-Digger manual: Don’t F*^K-UP the MONEY.

Evelyn SHATTERED this rule TERRIBLY.

Now understand, I think Chad Ochocinco is an ASSHOLE, a DOUCHEBAG and an IDIOT, for his role in this. What kinda STUPID-ass, Tiger Woods mistake is leaving a condom box receipt in your car? If Chad had ANY damn-sense, he wouldn’t have let things get to the point where he puts his hands [or forehead] on her. Because he has NO PRIORS, I will wait until ALL the facts come out before I call him a B*tch-ass nigga, but for now, I will say he reacted POORLY whether he harmed her intentionally or unintentionally.  But this whole incident has led the Miami Dolphins [who recently offered Chad a “last chance” contract after being cut by the Patriots a few months ago] to RELEASE him – leaving his ENTIRE football career and financial well being hanging in the balance. He F*^KED UP the MONEY.

Chad SHATTERED this rule TERRIBLY.

Here’s my main point: In this covenant, money is the lifeblood of the relationship, and when that is STALLED, the relationship is adversely affected, so the bylaws dictate you do EVERYTHING to avoid damaging the BALLER’S income.  Why Evelyn just didn’t put him on a nani-time-out and charge a new Maybach to his credit card, I will never know. Why Chad didn’t just walk out the house and go get some side-p*ssy while she cools off, I will never know. But I do know that Chad will pretty much be done in the NFL after commissioner Roger Goodell hands down his punishment, and then Evelyn & Chad will HAVE to reunite and hope they can interest people in a reality show featuring them, because if not, she’s gonna end up taking Chad’s broke-ass to court and end up with only getting half of a playstation 3 and some faded cross-colour jeans.

Good job IDIOTS.

This Is Your Conscience

When Lincoln Anthony Blades is not writing for his controversial and critically acclaimed blog ThisIsYourConscience.com, he can be found contributing articles for Uptown Magazine. Lincoln wrote the hilarious and insightful book "You're Not A Victim, You're A Volunteer: How To Stop Letting Love Kick Your Ass". He is also a public speaker who has sat on panels all over North America and the Caribbean.

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