Hating On “Light-Skinned” Blacks Doesn’t Make YOU More Black

As I was surfing the internet the other day, I came across wedding pictures of Dirk Nowitzki and his Kenyan born bride Jessica Olsson. The couple looked absolutely in love, with them both dressed in traditional Kikuyu garments during the ceremony. As I scrolled down to read the comment section to hear people gush about the pics, I saw one comment that had over 50 likes which troubled the sh*t out of me. It read:

“The African American ballers go after whites and light skinned ladies while this white man fell in love with a black woman…Congrats Dirk!”

And as I read that I instantly cringed, because as much as I’m all for the propagation of “Black” love, I found it very insulting and crass that all of a damn sudden, the struggles of “light-skinned ladies” seems to be equal and on par with that of white women. This is incredibly disrespectful because it completely disregards ANY struggle that other Black people go through, which is pretty hilarious because that seems to be the one thing that ultimately UNITES is, even if some of us have it harder than others.

But what I found even funnier about this comment is the fact that we as Black people are complete IDIOTS when it comes to defining “Blackness” [which is why we shouldn’t even try in the first damn place]. The commenter was bigging up Dirk for marrying a Black woman who wasn’t light-skinned or white, predicated on the assumption that she is born of all-Black heritage – which she is NOT. Jessica IS a biracial woman (her father is a white Swedish man), yet she has the ability to LOOK different shades, as MANY Black people do. And THIS is why hating on “light skinned” Black people is not only incredibly childish, but ridiculously anti-intellectual.

The poster who made the comment above was not only ignorant, but was starving for Black “Brownie points” that they could use to gain favour from other Black commenters – which is exactly what they received. Their mission is to do with Blackness, what Sara Palin tries to do with America – establish a TRUE representation of the word, making everyone else’s struggles seemingly expendable. She use to travel the conservative south and state that “this is the REAL America” as if the rest of the country did not deserve her patriotism. That’s what corny Black folks are doing every time we label “light skinned” Black folks as separate from “OUR” struggle, when fortunately or unfortunately for them, they are NOT.

T.J. Holmes

Let me drive my point home like this – meet T.J. Holmes, a former CNN anchor and easily verifiable “light-skinned” brother. Holmes made news Monday when he was stopped by police – two blocks away from his home in Atlanta – without being given ANY reason as to why he was pulled over. In a fit of rage he tweeted about “being pulled over while Black” and how he was given no indication that he actually broke any law. Moments later the cop insisted that he pulled him over to check if he had insurance - but we all know it was to check to see what this high-yella negroe was doing OUTSIDE the hood.

The truth is being a person of colour is difficult no matter WHAT shade, and disregarding the trials and tribulations “light-skinned” Blacks go through is nothing more than a testament to the Crabs In A Barrel mentality.

This Is Your Conscience

When Lincoln Anthony Blades is not writing for his controversial and critically acclaimed blog ThisIsYourConscience.com, he can be found contributing articles for Uptown Magazine. Lincoln wrote the hilarious and insightful book "You're Not A Victim, You're A Volunteer: How To Stop Letting Love Kick Your Ass". He is also a public speaker who has sat on panels all over North America and the Caribbean.

78 Comments

  1. lincolnanthonyblades

    08/03/2012 at 5:51 AM

    Ladies & Gentlemen, Do You Think That Poster's Comment Above [About Black Men Preferring "Light Skinned" & White Women] Was Fair Or Foul?

    • petersburgh

      08/03/2012 at 7:11 AM

      Who gives a damn what ballers do in their spare time. If they like Asian, white, Indian whatever it's their prerogative. I can't blame the writer for writing what they want as that's their choice but sometimes I don't get it the whole idea of thinking black men "don't like" their own etc. Maybe they do, maybe they don't but there's nothing wrong with liking who you like and that's where I have a problem.

      Blue, light blue, navy blue, dark blue etc are all BLUE. GET OVER IT!!

      • lincolnanthonyblades

        08/03/2012 at 12:34 PM

        Co-Sign! You're On Fire Today Bruh!

      • iluvwhoiluv

        08/03/2012 at 12:40 PM

        petersburgh, you are hot like volcanic lava today! Must co-sign.

      • Paul B.

        08/03/2012 at 1:13 PM

        Preach

      • up4dsn

        08/04/2012 at 2:52 AM

        That's TRUTH right there. Real Talk.

    • chris

      10/21/2012 at 6:45 PM

      Lets face it America, whether black or white, the darker you are the harder it is in society for you. I am a dark skinned man and I get commented on a lot about being dark. Dark skinned women too also have this problem, but it is more acceptable for them to complain about the problem with society than it is for a black man. I think the comment she made was somewhat childish, but she said what she felt unlike most people. Color is a true problem in society.

  2. mena

    08/03/2012 at 6:21 AM

    It's a fair assessment if that's what she sees. She stated that ballers tend to marry white or light skin black women. You took that comment and ran with how she is inferring that light skin black women don't go through trials and tribulations. Where did you get that from?

    What I inferred from the comment is that this white guy appreciates a darker tone and yet black successful men tend to go for lighter women as if they are better than their darker counterparts. Now, that is a post that you could critique on wether she was being ignorant or not.

    I don't see where your post was going.

    • Smikez_920

      08/03/2012 at 7:56 AM

      Agreed @mena. But why does it matter what that man wants or doesn't want. We have to pass the color divide with black women. Just like darker skinned want or like being complemted or praised for the skin , why should light skinned women be ridiculeed when the same happens to them. Dirks wife is like nia longs complexion and she is also mixed so it wasn't like he was walking down the isle with Jessica white ( model). I know plenty of wealthy ( not in the lime light) black men who have dark skin wives. I understand the whole light skinned dark skinned color complex but we have to stop. By constantly pointing it out and going crazy about it we give te complex more power.

      I'm sorry for ranting but black women make it seem that if a black man light or dark skin likes a lightskin woman that he always has a color complex

    • S.Johnson

      08/03/2012 at 12:03 PM

      But she's saying that light-skinned women are not black. Apparently, the woman pictured above is a "black woman" and light-skinned women are not. If you're saying that light women aren't black then aren't you in turn saying that they also don't go through what black women go through? I think that's just logic.

      • mena

        08/03/2012 at 2:02 PM

        “The African American ballers go after whites and light skinned ladies while this white man fell in love with a black woman…Congrats Dirk!” I guess when i read this, I didn't see anything about a struggle. I saw an observation. This is the problem that i have with this post. Lincoln went all the way left. This person didn't say that light skin black women don't struggle nor did she say that white women don't struggle. I see your point about the black women piece though but again, sometimes people read so much into something so as to get upset.

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      08/03/2012 at 12:38 PM

      Well, Here's What I Inferred In The Comment, She Is Giving Dirk Props For NOT Choosing A White Or Light-Skinned Girl Like Everyone Else. Her Assumption That White & Light-Skinned Women Is What "Ballers" Prefer Is Comical, Unsourced And Anti-Intellectual.

      The Grouping Of Light-Skinned And Whites Was NOT Unintentional. It Was Done To Align Them As A SEPARATE Entity From Darker Skinned Women, Who By Simple Logic, Are NOT "Preferred" And Therefore Have A Harder Time.

      But What Was HILARIOUS Is That She Used A Light-Skin Biracial Women To Make Her Point About Dark Skin Women Being Beautiful Which Destroys Her Entire Argument.

      I Can't See How I Can Write That Any Clearer To Be Honest.

      • mena

        08/03/2012 at 2:16 PM

        I think that her point was simply that black ballers tend to go for white and lighter skin women and that a man found a women with a darker hue. It has nothing to do with her being biracial (i know of biracial people who are brown) but everything to do with her being somewhat darker than a light skin black person. Not saying that i agree but this is what i read. Equating this to someone struggling more or less is just blowing my mind.

        • lincolnanthonyblades

          08/03/2012 at 5:11 PM

          And That's The Inherent Problem With Terms Like "Dark-Skinned" And "Light Skinned" And Why I Put Them In Quotations. Jessica Is Simply A Woman Of Colour. Sometimes She Appears To Be Dark And Sometimes She Looks Much Lighter, Which Is What Makes The Entire Conversation Ridiculous.

          If The Poster Didn't Believe That Dark Skin Women NEEDED The Praise For Being Wifed Up, They Wouldn't Have Mentioned It At All.

      • Poohbear

        04/18/2013 at 8:32 PM

        I think it's important to mention that the reason whites are more racist to light skinned blacks in NorthCarolina than with dark skinned blacks is that most so called whites in North Carolina all have black blood. They are all octoroons. They all look like brooke burke or Cindy Crawford or Elvis just a bunch of high yella niggas but with skin white enough and hair straight enough to pass. These are the real light skinned blacks. They walk around every day live in white neighborhoods and basically look and act white but their DNA tells a different story. They are the problem.

  3. Noelle

    08/03/2012 at 7:28 AM

    Mena, I completely agree with you. The writer of this article definitely took her statement and ran with it.

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      08/03/2012 at 12:40 PM

      No, Actually I Didn't.

      If You Can't Read The Condescension With Which That Was Written, Then I Don't Know What To Tell You.

  4. Lissa

    08/03/2012 at 8:11 AM

    I think we as black are always up to down something we dont like yet there are plenty of black "ballers" marrying black women. Yet, we look for something to say if he marries light skin or white. Both sides could be right made Linclon took it to far or maybe he has a great point that plays off a persons comment and anoyher person tweet. Bottom line no matter your shade of blackness somebody else black is going to feel either you got it good or u dont.

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      08/03/2012 at 12:40 PM

      Thanks For Reading And Getting My Point.

  5. Paul B.

    08/03/2012 at 9:37 AM

    Sorry, but that statement was foul. She said that as if light skinned isn't black, which it is black. Regardless to her perception, black is black no matter the shade. It seems like only blacks are unaware of that realization. This shoots another hole in the claim that "only black people will understand other black people" that some will use as a reason blacks shouldn't date non blacks. The fact is some of us will make sh*t so dang complicated when it isn't, and it's not cute or appealing.

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      08/03/2012 at 12:43 PM

      Exactly!

      Black People Simply Don't Understand That Classifying Each Other By Colour, Hair Texture And Other Features Just To Compare One Another And Divide Our Community Is Completely Self Defeating And Stupid.

      • Paul B.

        08/03/2012 at 1:18 PM

        Because when dealing with whites and non blacks, they only see black. Not light skinned, brown skinned, not dark skinned, but black. Some of us are just stuck on stupid and mad we never get anywhere in life,especially in relationships.

        • lincolnanthonyblades

          08/03/2012 at 1:22 PM

          That Person's Comment Was NOT A Compliment Or Even An Accurate Representation Of What's Going On, So That's Complete BS To Say It's An Overreach.

          • Paul B.

            08/03/2012 at 2:46 PM

            No surprise there.

          • Shannon9877

            04/12/2013 at 11:24 AM

            She was being messy – Plain and Simple – and the people that are defending her are crying about rejection for what? I mean I would not want to embrace a group of people who did not want to embrace me – and as for having it harder? I'm sick of hearing that because you have dark skin you have it harder than everybody else….attack the ones who are going through the same thing that you go through – I'm not gonna lie and say racism doesn't exist – but unless I'm just ignorant in this area – all black shades of people have unfair advantage ….we all are subject to racism, rejection, and exclusion

  6. uncle gryph

    08/03/2012 at 9:47 AM

    au contraire. black people are perhaps the most petty and divisive people planet earth has ever seen. `hating on light-skinned' is completely in line with that.

    light-skinned people, no matter the race, have more privileges and opportunities that darker-skinned people. that's not to say that light-skinned folks aren't oppressed in other ways.

    anyway, was this piece anything more than a subtle swirl showcase? and an affirmation that real `blackness' is hassled by the police? ah yes. working from a model that has white racism determine us. what's `blacker' than that?

    • Shannon9877

      04/12/2013 at 11:03 AM

      Site where a light skinned person has more privilege – I hear that all the time but – people back that claim up with how light skinned people are overrepresented in the media. I also noticed that people don't back that claim up with numbers or study data…..Furthermore, I encourage you to do a poll and get more information your statement about light skinned blacks being more priviledged could be an error

  7. Adonis

    08/03/2012 at 11:03 AM

    Why when a black man marries a light skin woman, he is self-hating, but when a white man marries a woman of the same or darker complexion, he is celebrated. (Like American BW are getting married anyway.)

    I will say this again, Black women have complexion issues. Some of it is valid, but alot of them go to far, and use it as an excuse instead of admitting that they are ugly & lazy.

    And shout out to swirling White men, 95% of the time I see them with a Black woman, she is top shelf, and he is mediocre. Being white to BW gets you far.

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      08/03/2012 at 12:45 PM

      There's Some Truth There That People Will Hate You For, But I Guess There's Nothing You Can Do.

  8. Dydy

    08/03/2012 at 12:54 PM

    Imma go in on this one. I'm light skinned and I get sh*t on no matter what I do but yet my struggles is better than my dark skinned counterparts? I call bullsh*t I'm the middle ground where both sides give me crap. Where I live has a higher white population, and I live here because its about 400 cheaper and bigger than living closer to "my people". Plus I don't hear sirens all f*ckin day, get fresh air, and I can actually see some stars. When I go for a job and even in black communities most of the managers and higher ups are white and I get the same bs no matter where I go, cuz they see two things, three when I open my mouth; a black person, a black man, and when I speak… A Jamaican. Even black managers see all that and judge me before they look at my resume. And I get this bs, we here have a strict no drug and violence policy. I tell them I never owned a gun, never got in a fight, and don't smoke weed or anything for that matter, and don't even drink.
    You would think they hear this but they dont, because they mention this 4 more times during the interview and still haven't opened my resume yet. Then I get, "we'll call you." Mean while a white dude in a dirty t-shirt and jeans smelling like a drunkard's ballsack is filling out tax forms at the door. Black women who know who my last gf was, will "spread" the word I don't date black women, even when they know damn well she was the only white nani I got in. So while I'm standing there trying to talk to them, they say, "I'm not the right color for you." And I supposedly have it easier than my dark skinned brothas. With dating color don't matter to me, not judging me and not being a bitch is what I look for. And it might seem like a rare if not impossible case of Jamaican black man who is light skinned, bald head, non smoker, non drinker, Christian man, no baby commas, and no criminal record not even a traffic ticket. But we do exist and shit is hard for us, especially when both sides dog us to our face based on this notion of what they think we are or who we are.

    Honestly I sometimes think and feel things would be easier if I was born with dark skin. But I was born this way and the Jamaican upbringing in me dictates I don't give a f*ck what people think of me. Life hard enough as it is.

    So Linc thank you breddren, thank you fi bringing it up and mekkin a point. Nuff Respeck

    • Dydy

      08/03/2012 at 12:59 PM

      **mommas** friggin autocorrect.

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      08/03/2012 at 1:01 PM

      Thanks For Reading.

    • mena

      08/03/2012 at 2:20 PM

      I won't negate your experiences or struggles. The next time you go to the bookstore, pick up "Our Kind of People" You will be able to see the horrendous divide b/w those who were dark and those who were light.

      Personally, I don't care about your shade as i have met jerks on both sides of the aisle. I care way more about attitude.

    • Shannon9877

      04/12/2013 at 11:09 AM

      thanks dude….wow – people just assume that light skinned blacks are more privileged and it annoys the hell out of me when I hear people say that – I have been called a nigga – and they said the proper redneck term for it walking down the street by white men in trucks numerous times – and it didn't matter about me being light skinned – I've been denied many opportunities because all they see is a "black" – And then I think to myself just how presumptious that is to tell "ME" what my life is all about and you NEVER HAVE nor can you EVER walk in my shoes?!

  9. China

    08/03/2012 at 1:50 PM

    Light skinned blacks, dark skinned blacks, we are all beautiful.
    My problebm is that Idon't see a good representation (enough) of dark skinned blacks on televsion and in the media. Mainstream (white america/society) highlights light skinned blacks. They love the obviously biracial "blacks" even more. This is one more thing to further divide black people. You can't tell me that it doesn't affect people when they are not represented properly.

    • Adonis

      08/03/2012 at 1:54 PM

      Agreed. As a Dark-Skin BM who supposedly benefits from being a DSBM, I rather be invisible in the media than portrayed negatively. But I don't own any MSM outlets & most BM do not.

      Good luck asking your cauasian friends that do own media outlets to change their swag. You have to threatened them with your attention & money going elsewhere

  10. Noelle

    08/03/2012 at 2:06 PM

    China, I completely agree. These African-American women who have color 'issues' didn't get them from nowhere. I think the lady's comment was NOT ignorant. It was an observation that she's made. And it is TRUE—it's what we all have observed, whether some will admit or not. The majority of these athletes DO marry Caucasian or women who APPEAR 'mixed' with something, no matter what her blood line might actually be. I had a Russian male friend ask me why African-American men don't generally marry African-American women. I guess his question is ignorant and without merit too? How about a post on here written on THIS topic: Why are light-complected women desired more in the media AND by these athletes/celebs and HOW can we go about reassuring the darker among us that they are just as desirable? I won't hold my breath tho.

    • Paul B.

      08/03/2012 at 2:52 PM

      So who is responsible for holding onto them? Who is responsible for needing to throw shade on others to feel good about themselves? What was done is in was indeed wrong, but who's responsible for what each person is doing now?

      • Noelle

        08/03/2012 at 3:05 PM

        I think the blame lies on all of us, personally. And I will never advocate throwing shade on anyone else for any reason. I AM, however, a big advocate of there being a more balanced representation of every aspect of 'us'.

        • Paul B.

          08/03/2012 at 7:18 PM

          And that's all nice and dandy, but if some people are still supporting those who choose not represent a more balanced aspect us, but complain about it, they need to go sit down. Nobody has time for that. As far as needing to see women like you on TV and in movies and the catwalks so you can feel beautiful and appreciated? (Not saying you have said that) That's part of the problem; stop waiting on the media and the outside world to make you feel good about yourself. It's called self esteem, people need to learn to build it up themselves at this point.

          • Noelle

            08/03/2012 at 7:56 PM

            Yeah that sounds nice and good and politically correct. But try telling my 2 year old daughter and her peers that "Look inside yourself" self-esteem building techniques. They're blessed to be going thru their formulative years in 2012 when there are brown women in the media (tv, books, movies, etc) period! When I was growing up, everyone had blonde hair and blue eyes and whether you or anyone else knows it or not, children's first images of self comes from what they SEE, not what they are told. We were all children once…I happen to have rather healthy self esteem. However, having it doesn't blind my eyes to the fact that I and the majority of my friends are NOT what most of the world considers attractive.

          • bornscorpion

            08/04/2012 at 3:26 AM

            You make a valid point. Historically, this topic reminds me how establishments used to do the "paper bag test". In other words, if you're darker than a paper bag you might as well forget about it. Anyway, I agree… the millennial generation is lucky in that regard that today there's less whitewash in media.

            Now that you mention it, I actually remember that awkward moment when I came to the startling revelation that all the princes and princesses were white lol. On that same token, little white girls across America also noticed something… how most of those princesses were blonde and rail thin. By the time we blinked they were running after-school specials urging Becky to stop purging (but I digress).

            For real it wasn't until the 90's that Disney & Mattel started integrating culturally relevant themes to their cartoons/dolls. Ppl of color got tired of feeling awkward and left out… all of a sudden you had Jasmine, Milan, Pocahontas… and alas Tiana. Bottom line, this old house negro vs. field negro crap is played out, and at the end of the day it stops with us… first we gotta get over ourselves.

          • Paul B.

            08/05/2012 at 4:24 AM

            But that's part of the problem; we've let Mattel,Disney, BET, and Hollywood be responsible for our self esteem. They are businesses, and businesses care about making money, not your self esteem or mine, unless they can prey upon to fatten their pockets. I get what's been said, but what I don't get is the apathy towards doing better by ourselves for ourselves instead of us waiting on these media outlets to make us feel good about ourselves. Where's the self motivation? Where's the self esteem? The fact is sh*t won't change until we change ourselves, and that goes for me about some things too. All I have seen is what's been done, but when I ask "What are you doing now?" it's almost always nothing. Nobody takes a passive people serious, but they will take advantage of them though.

  11. Noelle

    08/03/2012 at 2:07 PM

    *African American male athletes

  12. Noelle

    08/03/2012 at 2:11 PM

    @ Mena, EXACTLY!!!!

  13. Dydy

    08/03/2012 at 3:26 PM

    The sad yet blaring truth is that as people of any race, even if we all mixed into every combination imaginable into one olive toned, almond eyed, curly haired, juicy lipped, sexy beings… Some people will still pick at and perpetuate some social divide based on physical appearance. Hair color or tightness of the natural curls they have, or the minuscule differences in skin tone or smoothness thereof.

    • Dydy

      08/03/2012 at 3:38 PM

      This is why I refuse to classify anyone as a race. Cuz that right there is the root of the divide. We all bleed red and look the same in an X-ray or skinned. We are humans, we just come in different color variations like most other living creatures. Ever see a doberman not try to mount a poodle? Or a white lion choose another white lion over a golden lion? Never. BECAUSE THEY DON'T GIVE A F*CK and don't get hung up on what the other on looks like. "Oh snap, you a lion too? Cool, lemme holla at you for a minute"

    • mena

      08/03/2012 at 3:48 PM

      Yep and I agree.

  14. Paul B.

    08/03/2012 at 7:20 PM

    If it looks likes a duck, and quacks like a duck…

  15. J.Crawford

    08/03/2012 at 9:37 PM

    I’ve Never had a Shade Preference of the women I’ve tried to talk to or dated, as I love All Black Women. Yes, I’ve dated outside my race, but Who I decide to Fall in Love with, Marry, or Have Kids with is My Choice and My Business, Not some “self-hate” towards other Black People or myself.

    I’ve given up trying to fight this stupid Colorist Beef a Long Time Ago

    • Paul B.

      08/05/2012 at 4:30 AM

      Basically. Just because some people entertain this brand of stupidity doesn't mean we have to live our lives bound by THEIR stupidity too.

  16. Noelle

    08/04/2012 at 8:55 AM

    I have a sneaking suspicion that if brown and dark skinned men were NOT deemed as desirable as they are every damn where, the men on here would feel quite differently about their indifference to the particular topic. EVERY body and their Momma wants a 'tall, dark, and handsome' man. The world validates your appeal, ESPECIALLY women of other races. No wonder men never seem to know when they're ugly LOL

    • Paul B.

      08/05/2012 at 4:27 AM

      Oh no, men know, but they also know they'll never get who they want by sitting around feeling sorry for themselves too. One thing I can say is that they're very self motivated.

  17. Noelle

    08/04/2012 at 8:57 AM

    Oh and lightskinned men have ALWAYS been desired.

  18. East Londoner

    08/04/2012 at 9:52 AM

    I find it hilarious this obsession that African Americans have with skin colour. Black is black. You don't have caucasians separating themselves by skin tone, so why do we feel the need to do this to ourselves? Personally I think this whole skin colour debate is born from insecurity; to that I say, GET OVER IT!! It's trivial. Besides, beauty is subjective, and for that reason, there's no need to constantly justify what is regarded as beautiful. Confidence is hot, skin colour is irrelevant.

    Anyway, I thought I would offer my two pence from England

    • China

      08/06/2012 at 12:59 PM

      Actually, it is not only an African American issue. "Caucasians" may not have skin tone issues. Asians, Indians, Hispanics etc. have the lighter v darker controversy.

  19. daboo18

    08/04/2012 at 6:40 PM

    I agree with the point but i think it just shocks me still to find white man whose wife is black.
    Its always like i see a white celebrity man married or dating a black woman i always be like "wwhhhhhaattttt." — its shocking and different but common and very acceptable.

    whether you are light skinned or dark skinned your still black. i don't think the quote was too bad but i do think the person who typed it had a little ill feeling about biracial engagement among black men.

  20. bellatrice1

    08/06/2012 at 7:43 PM

    I'm late to the discussion, but I don't feel the commenter was ignorant for making the statements she made. I am brown skinned, but it is not difficult to understand what dark-skinned women go through on a daily basis.

    As a black man, it is difficult for you to understand HER experience because Black men (light skinned, dark skinned or whatever) are desirable by the masses no matter what shade they happen to be. However, in the media and in my personal experience, dark skinned women or women who do not appear mixed often feel slighted by Black men and rightfully so. Living in LA, the most superficial place you can possibly be, the preference for mixed chicks, white women and light skinned women is evident.

    It's funny because most of the women obviously can relate, either directly or indirectly, but the men don't get it. Why? Because it isn't YOUR experience. As someone else said, the commenter was obviously emotional, but this is HER reality. Sure, we shouldn't perpetuate these beliefs, but we do need to discuss it. It exists.

    • mena

      08/06/2012 at 9:14 PM

      Your last paragraph speaks volumes.

    • Noelle

      08/06/2012 at 9:14 PM

      THANK YOU. I completely agree!!!! Yes, these ideals do NOT need to be perpetuated AND YES, we DO need to discuss it. The men on here acting as if it's not really an issue are just echoing back what the majority of our men feel about it—which isn't helping to bring about a solution at all.

    • Adonis

      08/06/2012 at 10:04 PM

      It is hard to take dark skin women seriously because IRL, dark women are getting approached, and they are rejecting suitors… It is one thing if American DSBW lived a miserable existence & they was not eating (metaphorically). They just want the same men that the LSBW are being entertained with. They want the media to celebrate them like they celebrate WW & LSBW.

      It is one thing to be starving & another thing to be fighting to get an iPad or Filet Mignon.

      Get over yourself

      • Noelle

        08/06/2012 at 10:16 PM

        WOW. That ^^^ was easily the most ignorant comment I've read online today.

        • Adonis

          08/07/2012 at 1:35 PM

          The truth is like a punch in the face @Noelle

    • Paul B.

      08/07/2012 at 9:53 AM

      Well, that's a half truth there. There was a time when it was about the light skinned brothers aka Al B. Sites almost exclusively. Don't think for a second you sisters have only been told you're not light enough or somebody only likes light skinned people or that's all they date. Then again, you see what you want to, which is your own experience. I'm not discounting your experience, but I want you to know that you weren't the only ones to experience that. We joke about light brothers being in style or dark brothers being in style, but where did you think that came from? Let me guess, that came from us black men right? We simply learned to joke as a coping mechanism. Think men didn't deal with that stuff? Think again, even Biggie referred to his complexion issues and being considered ugly. "Black, and ugly as ever" , remember that? But he had to learn to get in where he fit in as opposed to bemoaning his condition about being overlooked, and that's something we men have to overlook. The fact is a lot of you are more loved and valued then you realize, and there are men among us who don't care about your complexion because beauty is beauty, but if you don't realize that instead of focusing on those who have gone elsewhere, you're hurting yourself. And we are not responsible for what you do to yourself.

      • bellatrice1

        08/07/2012 at 12:51 PM

        I understand that historically ALL dark skinned Black women and men were teased, but currently, it is not this way. It's one thing to say that she should rise above it (all the negativity), but it is another to call her statements ignorant.

        From what I see around me, there was some truth to what she said. Period.

        • Adonis

          08/07/2012 at 1:35 PM

          The truth is, if the BMWAV ends up saying tomorrow that they dark skin & eff those lightskin butts, you would be happy & the lightskin version of BellaTrice1 would be bemoaning how the most visible & attractive of men are not celebrating you.

          • bellatrice1

            08/07/2012 at 1:45 PM

            I don't have a problem either way because I'm brown. It's just not hard for me to sympathize with the plight of the dark-skinned woman.

      • Adonis

        08/07/2012 at 1:33 PM

        Thank you Paul

      • Paul B.

        08/08/2012 at 1:50 AM

        Al B. Sure

  21. bellatrice1

    08/06/2012 at 10:04 PM

    Yeah and also Black men with a voice verbally express their "preference" for non-Black, mixed or light skinned women to the dark-skinned woman's dismay. How would these men feel if no one celebrated them? Preferred them? Told them they are handsome specifically BECAUSE of their dark skin? They would understand then. Your Drakes, Lil Waynes, Chris Browns, movies, tv, all speak about light skinned women, and women of other races, stating that this is what's cool, what is beautfiul, what is ideal. Unfortunately, the average Joe isn't reaching other countries and spreading their love of the Black woman in ALL shades, so naturally, what these celeb Black men feel is what it is hailed as the popular opinion.

    • Adonis

      08/06/2012 at 10:12 PM

      The problem with your analogy with the "Black men with a voice" is that, even if these black men were DISFIGURED, they would still be celebrated because FAME is a very attractive to women.

      Men in general are not defined by external beauty no matter how much the media says they like it.

      Women live & die by their beauty (80%) whereas men it is a decent part of the package (25%) couple with dominant attitude, money & social status

      • bellatrice1

        08/06/2012 at 10:48 PM

        You completely missed the point. The point was that the men who don't like dark skinned black women are the ones who are being heard, so it is understandable why a dark skinned woman would have the the impression that celeb Black men or even regular Black men prefer or think that light skinned, mixed or non-Black women are more beautiful than dark skinned women.

        It is irrelevant whether Black men w/a voice will be celebrated, as is how men and women are judged. Everyone wants to feel attractive and desirable.

        • Adonis

          08/07/2012 at 1:39 PM

          Everyone wants to feel attractive and desirable.

          Tell that to the men OOWedlock BWomen overlook for deadbeats.

          But there is always an attractive standard for both sexes & those who don't fit will b*tch & moan.

          So, I say GET OVER YOURSELF

  22. Kenyangirl

    08/07/2012 at 1:09 AM

    Erm… just wanted to point out (as a Kenyan) that those are NOT Kikuyu outfits. How's that for YOUR conscience speaking.

  23. GhanaExtra

    08/10/2012 at 12:33 PM

    Real talk!

  24. APGifts

    09/27/2012 at 10:36 PM

    .
    There is actually no such thing as a so-called "Light-Skinned
    Black" person … but rather … such individuals and groups
    are actually people who are of a 'Multi-Generational
    Multiracially-Mixed' (MGM-Mixed) Lineage that some may
    have been pressured or encouraged to ignore or downplay.
    . http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Generation-Mixed/me
    .
    People of Mixed-Race lineage should NOT feel pressured to
    'identify' according to any standards other than one's own.
    . http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Generation-Mixed/me
    .
    The legal -application of the racist-'One-Drop Rule'
    (ODR) was banned in the U.S. way back in 1967.
    . http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Generation-Mixed/me
    . http://www.facebook.com/groups/253286018082418/pe
    . http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Generation-Mixed/me
    . http://www.facebook.com/groups/253286018082418/pe
    .
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    .
    Listed below are related Links of 'the facts' of the histories
    of various Mixed-Race populations found within the U.S.:
    .
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    .
    There is no proof that a 'color-based slave hierarchy'
    (or that 'color-based social-networks') ever existed
    as common entities — within the continental U.S.
    . http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Generation-Mixed/me
    . http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Generation-Mixed/me
    .
    It was the 'Rule of Matriliny (ROM) — [a.k.a. 'The Rule of Partus'
    (ROP)] — and NOT the racist-'One-Drop Rule' (ODR) — that was
    used to 'create more enslaved people' on the continental U.S.
    .
    This is because the chattel-slavery system that was
    once found on the antebellum-era, continental U.S.
    was NOT "color-based" (i.e. "racial") — but rather
    — it was actually "mother-based" (i.e. 'matrilineal').
    . http://www.facebook.com/allpeople.gifts/posts/309
    .
    There were many ways (and not solely the sexual assault
    and sexual exploitation of the women-of-color) in which
    'white' lineage entered the familial bloodlines of
    enslaved-people found on the continental U.S.
    . http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Generation-Mixed/me
    . http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Generation-Mixed/me
    . http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Generation-Mixed/me
    .
    An 'Ethnic' category is NOT the
    same thing as a "Race" category:
    http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Generation-Mixed/me
    . http://www.facebook.com/allpeople.gifts/posts/300
    .
    Other Topics:
    . https://www.facebook.com/allpeople.gifts/posts/27
    . https://www.facebook.com/allpeople.gifts/posts/16
    . http://www.facebook.com/notes/%C2%ADallpeople-gif
    .
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    .

    • Laurel B.

      11/27/2012 at 1:04 PM

      ApGifts,
      You are an extremely intelligent + awesome woman. I have read your book and its very insightful.

  25. Shannon9877

    04/12/2013 at 11:12 AM

    what studies people- I have never seen a study showing that light skinned blacks are treated better – Nevermind – I'll google it LOL!

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