Here’s The Problem With The “Middle-Age Marriage Rush”

Let’s take a second to be honest about marriage in 2012: There’s a high probability that many of us will get married for the first time in our 30’s. Statistics show that the average age of women and men has greatly risen over the years, mostly due to the fact that women have achieved much more equality in the workplace combined with the reality that dual income homes have now become a necessity. The idea that we can easily wed at the same time and in the same manner as our parents and grandparents is not only RIDICULOUS, it is simply UNTRUE. The requirements to being employed and having some semblance of financial security are MUCH stiffer than they were EVER before, and it’s not uncommon for us to spend our 20’s trying to get sh*t straight. With that being such a stark reality, I would like to personally introduce you to the concept of the “Middle-Age Marriage Rush.”

As I get older [and start to quickly embark on the age of 30], there’s one thing I’ve been noticing a lot of lately: My middle-aged friends and family members are beginning to SPRINT to the altar and have children. Now there’s many people who may be critical of that, but I’m NOT one of them – as long as the couple LOVES each other and both parties are committed to putting in ALL the work necessary to maintain a happy and healthy relationship. But here’s the ONE problem I DO have with this arrangement: When good people feel they MUST sprint to the altar because EVERYONE else tells them that there is NO other way to approach dating after 30.

if there is ONE comment that makes me absolutely SICK to my stomach and PISSES me off, it’s when STUPID-ASS people make broad-sweeping generalizations about how 30 year olds are SUPPOSE to approach the dating scene. One condescending comment I constantly hear from self-aggrandizing men is “any man over 30 still trying to play the field and get nani is a LOSER!” To those dudes, my retort is simply this:

You don’t know SH*T-ALL about his circumstance or how mentally and emotionally prepared that man is to love a woman with ALL his heart. You have NO CLUE what sort trials and tribulations that man has recently been through in the dating world, indicating that attempting a serious relationship is just not for him right now. And seeing that marriage is NOT a natural human-instinct, but simply a social construct, it is RIDICULOUS for you to label his innate nature as somehow being FLAWED because his timetable for finding love is not in-sync with what YOU think SHOULD be best for himself.

One annoying ass comment I constantly hear from self-important, patronizing BEEYOTCHES about 30-plus year old women who are not married is “any woman not married with kids at 30 needs to re-evaluate her life and realize her bankbook won’t keep her warm at night!” To y’all chicks, I say this:


NO woman with any semblance of intelligence or self-awareness should be RUSHING to the altar BEFORE she is emotionally and mentally ready to participate in a successful marriage. Although women have the added pressure of conceiving before it becomes a health risk, that should STILL not be a motivating factor to engage in a dishonest and unhappy relationship just to make EVERYONE else happy that she’s leading the life they EXPECT of her.

Her: “Hurry up nigga, you running like a little B*TCH!”

The big problem with the “Middle-Age Marriage Rush” isn’t that people are running to the altar in the mid-30’s – it’s the fact that SOME of these marriages are based more on FEAR and emotional-manipulation than on actual LOVE and commitment. I’ve said it before on this blog and I will say it again: Never let anyone convince you that you are taking TOO-LONG to get “serious” in your personal life and always remember that NO ONE is better equipped at knowing when YOU are READY to be married than YOURSELF.

This Is Your Conscience

When Lincoln Anthony Blades is not writing for his controversial and critically acclaimed blog, he can be found contributing articles for Uptown Magazine. Lincoln wrote the hilarious and insightful book "You're Not A Victim, You're A Volunteer: How To Stop Letting Love Kick Your Ass". He is also a public speaker who has sat on panels all over North America and the Caribbean.

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