If You THINK You’re Unable To Love Again – STOP DATING

I recently had a conversation with a young woman that truly PISSED me off and resulted in me CUSSING her ass out almost to the point where she cried. The people around thought I was a HUGE douchebag, and after a lot of personal, self-analysis I have come to a solid conclusion: I was NOT wrong and I probably should’ve CUSSED her ass out a little worse. What did she do to deserve said-cussing you ask? Well, she stated in a very matter-of-fact tone that she firmly believes she has lost the ability to fall in love – but she’s CURRENTLY in a relationship.

The conversation began by her asking me how long should a couple date before brining up marriage. I then asked her what are the conditions she needs in place for her marriage to become a viable option [i.e. certain number of dollars in the bank, better job, live together, be monogamous, be in love, etc.] and the love question made her froze, and she replied “Well not the love thing, because after my past relationships I’m unable to love again.” I then gave her the opportunity to expand on that statement and HOPEFULLY state that she means she’s unable to love AS innocently or faithfully as she USE to, but she reaffirmed her position that she KNEW feeling love is NOT an option for her anymore.

I tried a couple more times to convince her that she may be going too hard on herself and that she needs to have more perspective and relax, but she just simply kept repeating how OVER “Love” she is, which led to me asking her “Does your man love you?” She then looked me DEAD in the eye and said “Of course.” Now I will be paraphrasing what I said to her going forward, because I temporarily blacked out.

But it went something like this:

‘So you mean to tell me that you have a man at home that LOVES you and is entertaining the thought of spending the REST of his natural life with you, but YOU are so emotionally broken that not only are you unable to reciprocate that love, but you’re too much of a SELFISH B*TCH to even be honest with him about not feeling the same way? Do you seriously not think he deserves to know your punk-ass is being emotionally dishonest and leading him to believe that he is in a relationship WORTH putting all his effort and heart into, when the woman he loves doesn’t give a FLYING-F*^K about his emotional well-being?’

‘You are the WORST kind of C*NT. A selfish self-pitier. A miserable bastard who can only FULLY enjoy their misery with the “benefit” of company. And instead of dragging down an enemy, you decide to find someone who was just as loving, trusting and caring as you USE to be, and then BREAKING them in order to derive some sick pleasure in feeling like you initiated them into the ways of the “Real World.” What’s so F*^KED-UP about people like you, is the fact that you create OTHER people like you.’

‘If you are SO sure you are unable to love, then that means you can clearly SEE that something is wrong with you – so WHY are you wilfully inviting another person into your world of DYSFUNCTION. You need HELP and time to YOURSELF. If you are unable to love again, which you KNOW is a necessary feature of ANY healthy relationship, then you NEED to STOP F*^KING DATING. All you are doing is misleading people and opening them up to having the same wounded heart as you.’

‘But what you DON’T realize is that your actions extend BEYOND you. When you irreparably break someone’s heart, you create a bitter, frowsy douche who will break someone ELSE’S heart, creating and sustaining a vicious cycle – you self-aggrandizing JACKASS.’

That was essentially my rant, and I honestly DON’T feel bad for hurting her feelings, because what she was doing to her man is MUCH worse than anything I said to her that day. I KNOW this is not a gender specific issue – it’s a CHARACTER issue – and some of you LOOSEBALLS lack more character than musty Chief Keef lacks quality bars in rap and quality bars of soap.

If you think you are unable to love or you have some hang-up with giving and/or receiving love, do everyone a favour and keep your funky-ass on the sideline so the rest of us can honestly and openly approach the game of life and love.

This Is Your Conscience

When Lincoln Anthony Blades is not writing for his controversial and critically acclaimed blog ThisIsYourConscience.com, he can be found contributing articles for Uptown Magazine. Lincoln wrote the hilarious and insightful book "You're Not A Victim, You're A Volunteer: How To Stop Letting Love Kick Your Ass". He is also a public speaker who has sat on panels all over North America and the Caribbean.

84 Comments

  1. lincolnanthonyblades

    08/14/2012 at 6:06 AM

    Ladies & Gentlemen, Do You Think Ol' Girl Deserved To Take Several Seats For Deceptively Engaging In A Loving Relationship With Her Man? Or Is It OK For Her (Or Anybody) To Explore If They Can Ever Love Again WHILE Being In A Relationship?

    Was I Too Hard On Her?

    • ChloeRayne516

      08/14/2012 at 1:16 PM

      "Or Is It OK For Her (Or Anybody) To Explore If They Can Ever Love Again WHILE Being In A Relationship?"

      You know what, sometimes it can take that 1 person who comes into your life and knocks you off your feet and upside down who can make you believe in love again but you won't know that unless you date and/or try being in a relationship.

      But in this women's case if she already saying she is NOT IN LOVE or trying to BE IN LOVE after already being in this relationship with ole dude then she needs to Stage exit LEFT as in YESTERDAY!!

      • lincolnanthonyblades

        08/14/2012 at 4:08 PM

        Co-Sign!

  2. petersburgh

    08/14/2012 at 7:16 AM

    I agree with you here in that she is being selfish and ruthless by being untruthful to her boyfriend and that in turn may make him bitter towards any quality women he may meet later down. Your method of relaying that to her is your own so I won't judge that because at times I get that way too. Personally, whenever I finish a relationship I take time off to heal and to figure out where I made mistakes etc and sometimes that last a year or two. She should take some time to herself and examine her actions and ideas so that when she's ready again she will be fair and honest with whoever

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      08/14/2012 at 12:34 PM

      I Lost It Because She's Considering MARRYING This Man. She's Gonna Have A Wedding, And Stand Up In Front Of Her Friends, Family And God And Profess Her Love Which Is Essentially LYING. She's Has NO Qualms With Trapping This Man In A False MARRIAGE Which Makes Me SICK.

      • ChloeRayne516

        08/14/2012 at 1:18 PM

        Man listen I feel for the women who come into his life after this shamble of a marriage dissolves, he is going to be a HOT MESS!!!!!!

        She really needs to rethink what she is doing.

        But you know what who knows maybe down the line she can grow to LOVE HIM.

        • lincolnanthonyblades

          08/14/2012 at 4:10 PM

          I Remember Writing A Blog Post A While Back Called "Before You Can Love Anyone, You Need To Love-Love" (Or Something To That Effect) And This Is The Perfect Situation That Motivated Me To Write That.

          My Issue With Her Isn't Just That She Doesn't Love Him, But It Seems She Is DETERMINED To Never Feel Love Again.

  3. Kam

    08/14/2012 at 7:27 AM

    I have no respect for this girl and people like her. She needs to grow up and find herself.

    Lincoln you had every right to cuss her. Hopefully that cussing will wake her a*s up. It's okay to be damaged but to date knowing you can't love is just plain evil.

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      08/14/2012 at 12:35 PM

      Evil Is A Great Word. Who Wilfully Passes On Pain?!

  4. Paul B.

    08/14/2012 at 7:31 AM

    Not at all. I think anybody with a similar mindset has it coming.

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      08/14/2012 at 12:35 PM

      Yup, And Dudes Too.

      • Paul B.

        08/14/2012 at 6:03 PM

        That's why I said anybody.

  5. Smilez_920

    08/14/2012 at 7:35 AM

    Smh people are selfish. Listen sometimes people go into situations and they are not all the way healed, but they are willing to learn how to love and open themselves up. How can she possibly talk about spending her life with a man she doesn't love.

    I understand people get hurt but come on, why take someone else on that road with you especially if there being good to her. I hope that man finds out and leaves. Sorry I don't like seeing good women or men being used. Yes she's using him as a comfort when this man wants to be her life partner.

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      08/14/2012 at 12:36 PM

      When Good People Knowingly Get Used, They Go Out Searching For Someone THEY Can Use The Same Way.

  6. mena

    08/14/2012 at 7:49 AM

    This wasn't about this chick being hurt. The root to all of this is that she wanted someone who would love her enough to never leave her. Trust that her man knows deep down that something is wrong with the relationship but he is too blinded by love to leave her. That's why she got upset bc you called her out on her bs. She's a narcissist and she is toxic. She gets off on knowing that she has a guy that will bend over backwards for her while she puts in little effort. That's why she answered your question with "of course.". How could he not love her? She is wonderful. Yep, a wonderful bitch.

    Were you too harsh? Depends on if you knew her well enough but I am assuming that you didn't. I probably would have done the same thing and shrugged afterwards.

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      08/14/2012 at 12:38 PM

      I Honestly Didn't Expect The Tears Though, Which Made Me Feel A Little Bad, But Ultimately I'm Glad She Cried. I Hope Those Were Tears Of Recognition.

  7. Celina

    08/14/2012 at 8:06 AM

    She gets no pity from me. I'm surprised that others thought YOU were the douche for cussing her! How dare she utter the word marriage?!

    Honestly it's not gender specific. I see the few good men that are left in the world get cheated on or just plain old hurt one by one by some selfish bitches and while some are able to bounce back to some extent, others just turn into brick walls and it is EXTREMELY frustrating for the people who have a heart and who want to love them.

    Some people are so flippin' selfish, they want others in their lives to make them feel comfortable, but they're not willing to put in the necessary work to maintain healthy relationships. You should've vomited in her shoe for shamelessly displaying such a disgusting mind set!

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      08/14/2012 at 12:41 PM

      LoL @ Vomited In Her Shoe.

      But Seriously The Idea Of Getting Married But Not Loving Someone Is Why So Many People Are Hesitant To Walk Down The Aisle These Days. No One Wants To Be Taken Advantage Of In The Ultimate Act Of Love.

    • Jessssss

      08/14/2012 at 2:39 PM

      yes. Vomit in her shoe and put it in her face. That's what you do to bad dogs.

      • uncle gryph

        08/15/2012 at 8:55 AM

        oh. i like you…

        • Jessssss

          08/15/2012 at 11:26 AM

          It's hard not to. I'm amazing. *bats lashes* Lol.

  8. Vicky

    08/14/2012 at 8:49 AM

    Hold on Lincoln! This isn't going to be another one of those posts where tomorrow we hear her side of the story is it?

    As it stands right now, if she knows she's that damaged then why the hell is she involved with someone? Better yet, why doesn't his punk ass see this and leave her?

    You have every right to cuss her out about it (provided these are all the details) as I would have as well…..selfish b***h

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      08/14/2012 at 12:38 PM

      I Don't Wanna Be Crass, But: F*^K HER SIDE OF THE STORY!

      LoL

      • Vicky

        08/14/2012 at 2:18 PM

        Touche!!!! LOL

      • uncle gryph

        08/15/2012 at 8:55 AM

        ***standing applause***

      • Paul B.

        08/15/2012 at 11:17 PM

        I only regret that I can like this statement but once.

  9. uncle gryph

    08/14/2012 at 9:01 AM

    lincoln.

    there are some times when i wonder if you've lost it. not gone crazy, but the fine skill of putting your finger right on the pulse of a particular phenomenon then cold-bloodedly stopping all the flow to that part. i will never doubt you again.

    okay we both know that's a lie, but it will take me significantly longer to doubt you. but its it the sentiment that counts.

    • BADDEST

      08/14/2012 at 9:38 AM

      dammit….youre right…..i hate when you point out how obviously the rest of us have been manipulated…..thinking we're intelligent… but being ushered into making the obvious points

      Thanks for ruining my day and my sense of intellect…. smart ass :D

      • uncle gryph

        08/14/2012 at 10:24 AM

        see what happens when i slide out of character and be nice?! never again i say!

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      08/14/2012 at 12:42 PM

      I'm Trying To Get My "Gryph" On From Time To Time.

      • uncle gryph

        08/14/2012 at 3:14 PM

        everything in moderation linc…even moderation.

  10. BADDEST

    08/14/2012 at 9:01 AM

    Honest answer?…..While you were most definitely correct in cussing her…do you think its possible the reason youre inquiring/sharing about it is because on some level you can idenitifiy with her motives?
    I know for me , when I go in on someone especiallly bitingly its always because I can idenitify with their short comings and am ususally working hard not to succumb to the same weakness myself……yes, its basic psychology, kinda like " wait a second …you think youre above common decency cuz youve been hurt?"( outrage ensues) that being said….obviously, no one should date without pure heart and intention….contined

    • Jessssss

      08/14/2012 at 10:58 AM

      provoking interpretation. critical thinking at its best!

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      08/14/2012 at 12:47 PM

      I Can Understand And Agree With That Sentiment To An Extent, But My Disgust Comes From The Fact That She's WAY Worse Than Anything I AM Or Anyone I've Met With That BS.

      I've Heard MANY People Say They Want Their Partner To Love Them More Than They Love Their Partner, And That's Cool. I've Heard People Say They Are Emotionally Detached And Unavailable And THAT'S Cool.

      But To State You Want To Marry Someone You DON'T Love And Are Unable To Love In A Cold, Calculated Matter Of Fact Way Just ANGERS Me. It's Wilfully Inflicting Emotional Pain Which ALL Of Us Have To Deal With In The End.

      • BADDEST

        08/14/2012 at 1:37 PM

        So marriage is the point of contention is it? know that I agree with you…..it is def the morally twisted aspect of her position…….so…..not that my next question really matters…. but is it worth asking this woman's nationality? Is it not a mainly North American thing to place the value of love in a marriage over the business transaction? Maybe shes been brought up in a culture where marriage is more about what the other can provide in a material way than an emotional one….??? just sayin……also trying hard to find a method to her madness…

        • lincolnanthonyblades

          08/14/2012 at 4:12 PM

          I Think You're Over Thinking It. She Knows What She's About And I Know She KNOWS What She Is Doing Is Wrong, Because Even People Who Approach Marriage From A Business Stance, Usually Inform The Other Person About That Stance Too.

          • BADDEST

            08/14/2012 at 6:53 PM

            Informing the other person….case in point! :)

  11. BADDEST

    08/14/2012 at 9:02 AM

    but truth is we all do…its called playing the field no?extension of consumerism…..and I agree with you its disturbing to see that there are some so far gone in their own self pity that they will actually purposely ignore morality and integrity just to be able to say they arent on the lower rung of the dating caste system…..also, i hate to say it….especially a WOMAN…i think this woman was probbaly thinking her reteric was empowered (some of that think like a man bullshit) but as you clearly pointed out to her all shes doing with her mind set is propagating more of the pain that probably lead her to her entitled, selfish existence in the first place

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      08/14/2012 at 12:49 PM

      I Don't Think There's MUCH Higher Thinking To Her Bullshit. I Think She Is Aware Of Her Selfish Shit And Never Met Anyone Willing To Call Her On It.

      • Jessssss

        08/14/2012 at 2:42 PM

        I'm sure she'll rethink her next dinner date with you dear friend. lol.

  12. Tyrant

    08/14/2012 at 9:22 AM

    The fact that she is willfully attempting to trap her man in a loveless marriage is the breaking point for me. This is beyond simply selfish, this is condemning a man to a life of emotional struggle. If he loves her like she posits, then he won't want to leave her and yet at the same time, he will know eventually that there is an emotional gap between the two of them. He is trapped in hell!!!
    God forbid that they should have children, the situation would only get worse!!
    She has the nerves to speak of marriage, have people no sense of decency anymore?
    What a miserable bitch!!!

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      08/14/2012 at 12:50 PM

      100% Co-Sign.

      She's The Type Of Chick Who Will Get Divorced And Then Claim There's "No Good Men Left."

      • John J

        08/14/2012 at 1:33 PM

        Preach!!! LOL

    • Jessssss

      08/14/2012 at 2:44 PM

      OMG! I was just thinking about if this wench with a black hole for a heart did pro-create! Oy Vay! *jess herself and applies a cold compress to her forehead*

  13. Ange

    08/14/2012 at 9:26 AM

    I do think that she not only needs to take several seats, but also just needs to lay down. I agree, although probably not as passionately as the author, that she was wrong. We all have had unfavorable outcomes with love and her 'inability' to love is not the issue. She should have been up front with the current guy she is dating and tell him how she felt about love and being in love. That way he could have decided whether or not he wanted to deal with all that. She took that option from him, which makes her a douche bag. But I am pretty sure that some of her actions show that she's not in love, which is a subject for another day. Lastly she only cried because you reminded her of those "I aint shit" feelings she tried to hide deep inside. I do hope that you referred her to a therapist because baby girl clearly needs some help.

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      08/14/2012 at 12:52 PM

      In The End, I DO Actually Wish I Could Have Left Her With A Number To Call.

    • Jessssss

      08/14/2012 at 2:46 PM

      I agree. It's like forcing someone to be your mistress without letting on that your married. acting like your single and when you find out your the "side chick" getting an attitude with you because you should have known better…or "saw the signs".

      She is a murderer of love. Sharpening her knives daily and waiting for the opportune moment to strike her prey. And I guarantee this man's love and affection will never, ever be enough for her.

  14. John J

    08/14/2012 at 10:15 AM

    An auditorium, a football stadium, and a double-decker bus combined wouldn't have had enough seats for her to take, LOL. You definitely were not too hard on her. She is someone who as you pointed out needs to take herself out the game and figure out if true love and a well meaning relationship is something she can provide, much less receive and deserve. That was the wake up call she needed. Great post.

    And for everyone that says that ol' dude should know something's up, that's not something that so cut and dry or easy to figure out even if you AREN'T blinded by love goggles. Y'all can believe Love and Basketball and Maury if y'all want to with those "He ain't stroking me right" or "She ain't putting it down like she used to" tell-tale signs, or other affectionate "stuff", but there are sociopaths out here who can "fake the funk" with the best of them and you'll never see it coming. It's a good thing she slipped up and told someone, maybe now she'll realize she needs help and will actually get the help she needs. And not date.

    • Jessssss

      08/14/2012 at 11:06 AM

      "there are sociopaths out here who can "fake the funk" with the best of them and you'll never see it coming."

      OMG!!!!! Yes!!!!

      *high fives and chest bumps John J*

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      08/14/2012 at 12:53 PM

      Real Talk On "Faking The Funk."

    • iluvwhoiluv

      08/14/2012 at 1:33 PM

      That's gospel, John J.

  15. iamkeishabrown

    08/14/2012 at 10:30 AM

    well you've already stated that you don't feel like you were too hard on her and should have cussed her out worse, so no point in really asking our opinion on that for us to be rebuked. (i've learned my lesson on this blog..lol)

    as for my opinions on her – she's the reason why 'nice guys' turn into 'a$$holes. and i need women to realize that while men can be dogs and do a$$holish things – clearly so can we. and im glad she's getting called out by both men and women alike. i would never want to align myself with this chick's doings just because we both happen to have breasticles. and if she were my friend, at some point i'd call her out as well. maybe not in the same TIYC way – but it would need to be said.

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      08/14/2012 at 12:54 PM

      But How Do You Nicely Talk To Someone Like That Who's Outward Attitude Is Predicated On Being Cold, Calculated And Unfeeling? [And We're Talking About An Acquaintance Here, Not A Friend]

      • iamkeishabrown

        08/14/2012 at 2:38 PM

        well let me ask you a question – would you have treated her/the situation differently had it been a friend vs acquaintance? if not – again.. it's all moot at this point.

        i am in NO WAY SHAPE OR FORM condoning her actions. she is being selfish and the sheer notion that she is hoping for a ring from this man (she's not yet engaged if i read the story right) – shows her emotional immaturity (to say the very least).

        but maybe the guilt will eventually eat at her and she'll let him go. i've been in a relationship where i fell out of love with a dude, but tried my hardest to stay because he would have given me everything i wanted (the wife, kids, life in NY). i loved him (still do), but was no longer in love with him. and ultimately – i made the choice that i wasn't being fair to him or myself for staying.

        as naive/fairy-taleish as it might be, i do want those butterflies/chemistry that goes from a 5-alarm fire to a perfect simmering burn. not everyone gets married for the right reasons, and not all marriage that start out based on love make it, or start out on less than love (arranged marriages) end.

        hopefully this conversation was a wakeup call and she ultimately does the right thing.

        • lincolnanthonyblades

          08/14/2012 at 4:15 PM

          We Can Hope But One Thing I Believe Is That She Is Not Unique. I Bet Men And Women With Her Exact Mind State Get Married Everyday And Drag Innocent People Through Emotional Hell.

          She's Not Gonna Let Him Go. He's Gonna Marry Her. It Will End Bad. And The Cycle Of BS Will Continue.

  16. Jessssss

    08/14/2012 at 11:04 AM

    I agree with almost everything said here. I know far too many idiots who function selfishly in the same way and run through partners and its never their fault that they relationship ended. Or that the other person is now emotionally "strung out" and left to stew in the pot BS they left behind.

    I was married and treated horribly. I was young and it was years (Years I say!!!!) before I even thought about dating again. Because I knew that anyone that dealt with me would get the business. I would be cold-hearted, ruthless, calculating and evil…just because he was a man that said he loved me. Healing is necessary. It's like breaking a bone. You don't go for a jog 2 days after getting your caste (sp) off. You work your way back into it. You make sure your mended. And when you do take that first run…if your hit with pain, ease up. And then try again later.

    The person Linc described is weak in my eyes. Because instead of trying to be emotionally healthy they would rather hurt others with no remorse. People without remorse are heartless and they deserve what they get in life.

    • NurseJilly

      08/14/2012 at 11:39 AM

      "You don't go for a jog 2 days after getting your cast off"…

      STANDING OVATION!!!!!

      • Jessssss

        08/14/2012 at 12:07 PM

        *Jess high five's and chest bumps Nurse Jilly*

        • lincolnanthonyblades

          08/14/2012 at 12:57 PM

          A Chest Bump Between You Two Would Be An Epic Battle Of Cleavage In Which Someone Would Get Thrown Clear. LoL

          • Jessssss

            08/14/2012 at 1:59 PM

            You've read my blog. You know I would emerge the undefeated champion of the world! Lol.

            -Signed "Bigger Than A G"

          • iamkeishabrown

            08/14/2012 at 2:29 PM

            LOLLLLLL

          • lincolnanthonyblades

            08/14/2012 at 4:16 PM

            LoL

          • NurseJilly

            08/15/2012 at 8:33 AM

            "Bigger Than A G"…

            Damn girl. You win hands down:o

          • Jessssss

            08/15/2012 at 11:27 AM

            Lol!

          • NurseJilly

            08/15/2012 at 8:30 AM

            LMAO

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      08/14/2012 at 12:56 PM

      Having Been Treated Horribly In A Marriage, I Think You Can Definitely See Why I Spazzed At The Idea Of Them Getting Married.

      • Jessssss

        08/14/2012 at 1:58 PM

        YES! Ya did good.

      • mena

        08/14/2012 at 7:26 PM

        You've been married?

        • Jessssss

          08/15/2012 at 11:29 AM

          Yes when I was 19. I'm 30 now. I lived and learned… some (not all) things. That is …if you were talking to me and not Linc. Lol.

  17. cynicaloptmst81

    08/14/2012 at 11:44 AM

    HA! I love that you gave her every opportunity to redeem herself before you unleashed the beast, LMBO!

    "Now I will be paraphrasing what I said to her going forward, because I temporarily blacked out." – *DEAD*

    Saying, "I feel sorry for your mother" #MenaceToSociety would've done the trick too. How someone could do something like that and be ok is just…shameful.

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      08/14/2012 at 12:58 PM

      You Know What I Wish Tho? I Wish I Stayed Cool And Just Asked To Meet Her Man – So I Could Warn His Ass To GET OUT.

      • cynicaloptmst81

        08/14/2012 at 2:24 PM

        Y'all don't have any mutual friends to help you find out who dude is? Somebody needs to tell him something…

        • lincolnanthonyblades

          08/14/2012 at 4:17 PM

          Naw Me And Her Aren't Even Friends. I Think This Is One Of The Situations Where I PRAY That He LEARNS How To Read Her Better And See Through Her Lies.

  18. Candice

    08/14/2012 at 2:05 PM

    Lincoln I do not fault you for yelling at your homegirl for saying that she cannot love again and she's in a relationship. I have been in a relationship, where the other person was unsure about love and if he loved me. We continued on for almost 3 years and I had no clue about how he felt (he was able to act the part of boyfriend and 'being in love' very well, he even talked about marriage). Anyway, right after he ended our relationship, he was bouncing around to different girls but yet he would complain that something was missing or he's not sure if he could love again, but he was telling these girls that he loved them. I told him that you need to heel from our relationship just as much or even more than I do. Don't go jumping into a serious relationship right after a breakup. He needs to do some serious soul searching and just be on your own for a little bit. I told him that he has a fear of being alone and not to use that as a reason to start a relationship on shaky ground. Lord only knows if he took my advice, but if he didn't, it will catch up to him.

    Getting back to your point Lincoln, people like that drive me nuts!! I have no tolerance for that. Why are you going to bring your frowsy, non-loving, non- trusting ass on the market and hurt other people? You are the definition of selfish!!

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      08/14/2012 at 4:18 PM

      Agreed.

      P.s. Not My Homegirl LoL

      • Candice

        08/14/2012 at 4:55 PM

        Ooops!! My bad Lincoln :)

        • lincolnanthonyblades

          08/14/2012 at 7:34 PM

          No Problem

  19. Roxx

    08/14/2012 at 10:00 PM

    Im gonna go ahead and call BS on this chick. She may not be IN LOVE but she loves him. Its almost impossible to have a realationship that functions to the point that marriage in being considered without love there. She's probably lost that ability to be IN LOVE. that feeling of passion and infatuation and complete love of loving love! for lack of better words. She's just not IN LOVE with the dude. I know if he left her this very minute this girl would be destroyed. She came at you all "hard" and tough acting like she doesnt believe in love because her ego wont let her be soft. She came at you with BS and she got ROCKED lol oh well!

  20. uncle gryph

    08/15/2012 at 8:58 AM

    when do i get to tell you all 'i told you so?' is it too soon to say 'i told you so'?

    • Paul B.

      08/15/2012 at 11:31 PM

      No. By all means go ahead.

  21. Pingback: If You THINK You’re Unable To Love Again – STOP DATING

  22. skv012a

    12/25/2012 at 1:34 PM

    We, free kin, just gotta stick together and have our fun and keep on moving. I'm all for leaving your clingy crowds to yourselves instead of doing damage. I just wish more people like that girl would find the balls to truck solo and just get sexy needs out of the way casually whenever she needs to.

  23. FlameReborn

    03/17/2013 at 9:55 AM

    I was completely in love and devoted to a man I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. Two years into the relationship he became violent and abusive. I tried to communicate with him, get him to seek help- anything to save the relationship- but he wouldn't change and things got worse. I left him. It was three years ago and I'm still struggling to put my pieces back together. Being unable to love again is something that takes time to realize. Of course coming out of the relationship I wanted nothing to do with dating anyone, just time to myself or with platonic friends. As time passed I started getting interested in dating again but I found myself unable to feel any sort of closeness or commitment with any guy I was seeing, no matter how attractive or wonderful they were or how good a time we were having. There was one particularly special guy that I dated for a year but I remained clear that I was not his "girlfriend". It was a completely one sided relationship, with him showering me with affection and me being emotionally distant. Eventually he moved on and I'm dating someone else now. I'm completely honest with him about how emotionally uninvested I am, I remind him not to get attached but I still think he's falling. Am I really doing something so wrong? Is not returning someone's affection as harmful as holding them down and beating them? My ex did some horrible things to me to cause the emotional damage I've endured and at this point I am becoming certain that I will never feel love for another human being again. This does not mean I need to lock myself away, whither and die alone. I build my relationships on honesty and respect. I can date someone and enjoy their company, give them massages, cook dinner and treat them good. It's just that at the end of the day, I feel so completely alone. I know that there is no one I care for and there is nothing anyone can do to get through to me. I can talk to the guy I'm dating about this and he listens, tells me it's ok, that he still is happy with me. When you've suffered severe emotional damage and are unable to form attachments with others then it's very important to have a friend, someone who says "It's ok that you are that way, I'm still here for you." So if you've been damaged but you feel that dating is right for you, and you're willing to communicate honestly with your partner, I say go for it.

  24. ARiga

    09/09/2013 at 12:31 AM

    So if you don't like what someone does, you call her c*nt? Mature!

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