If You THINK You’re Unable To Love Again – STOP DATING

I recently had a conversation with a young woman that truly PISSED me off and resulted in me CUSSING her ass out almost to the point where she cried. The people around thought I was a HUGE douchebag, and after a lot of personal, self-analysis I have come to a solid conclusion: I was NOT wrong and I probably should’ve CUSSED her ass out a little worse. What did she do to deserve said-cussing you ask? Well, she stated in a very matter-of-fact tone that she firmly believes she has lost the ability to fall in love – but she’s CURRENTLY in a relationship.

The conversation began by her asking me how long should a couple date before brining up marriage. I then asked her what are the conditions she needs in place for her marriage to become a viable option [i.e. certain number of dollars in the bank, better job, live together, be monogamous, be in love, etc.] and the love question made her froze, and she replied “Well not the love thing, because after my past relationships I’m unable to love again.” I then gave her the opportunity to expand on that statement and HOPEFULLY state that she means she’s unable to love AS innocently or faithfully as she USE to, but she reaffirmed her position that she KNEW feeling love is NOT an option for her anymore.

I tried a couple more times to convince her that she may be going too hard on herself and that she needs to have more perspective and relax, but she just simply kept repeating how OVER “Love” she is, which led to me asking her “Does your man love you?” She then looked me DEAD in the eye and said “Of course.” Now I will be paraphrasing what I said to her going forward, because I temporarily blacked out.

But it went something like this:

‘So you mean to tell me that you have a man at home that LOVES you and is entertaining the thought of spending the REST of his natural life with you, but YOU are so emotionally broken that not only are you unable to reciprocate that love, but you’re too much of a SELFISH B*TCH to even be honest with him about not feeling the same way? Do you seriously not think he deserves to know your punk-ass is being emotionally dishonest and leading him to believe that he is in a relationship WORTH putting all his effort and heart into, when the woman he loves doesn’t give a FLYING-F*^K about his emotional well-being?’

‘You are the WORST kind of C*NT. A selfish self-pitier. A miserable bastard who can only FULLY enjoy their misery with the “benefit” of company. And instead of dragging down an enemy, you decide to find someone who was just as loving, trusting and caring as you USE to be, and then BREAKING them in order to derive some sick pleasure in feeling like you initiated them into the ways of the “Real World.” What’s so F*^KED-UP about people like you, is the fact that you create OTHER people like you.’

‘If you are SO sure you are unable to love, then that means you can clearly SEE that something is wrong with you – so WHY are you wilfully inviting another person into your world of DYSFUNCTION. You need HELP and time to YOURSELF. If you are unable to love again, which you KNOW is a necessary feature of ANY healthy relationship, then you NEED to STOP F*^KING DATING. All you are doing is misleading people and opening them up to having the same wounded heart as you.’

‘But what you DON’T realize is that your actions extend BEYOND you. When you irreparably break someone’s heart, you create a bitter, frowsy douche who will break someone ELSE’S heart, creating and sustaining a vicious cycle – you self-aggrandizing JACKASS.’

That was essentially my rant, and I honestly DON’T feel bad for hurting her feelings, because what she was doing to her man is MUCH worse than anything I said to her that day. I KNOW this is not a gender specific issue – it’s a CHARACTER issue – and some of you LOOSEBALLS lack more character than musty Chief Keef lacks quality bars in rap and quality bars of soap.

If you think you are unable to love or you have some hang-up with giving and/or receiving love, do everyone a favour and keep your funky-ass on the sideline so the rest of us can honestly and openly approach the game of life and love.

This Is Your Conscience

When Lincoln Anthony Blades is not writing for his controversial and critically acclaimed blog ThisIsYourConscience.com, he can be found contributing articles for Uptown Magazine. Lincoln wrote the hilarious and insightful book "You're Not A Victim, You're A Volunteer: How To Stop Letting Love Kick Your Ass". He is also a public speaker who has sat on panels all over North America and the Caribbean.

1 Comment

  1. JD

    08/12/2016 at 1:18 AM

    You did kind of fly off the handle. I feel you got too emotionally involved in her statement, did anything happen to you that was similar to this situation which maybe felt too personal?

    She is a cunt though if she doesn’t love the guy and a coward, but maybe the dude knows she can’t love? There’s plenty of guys who love to be the hero. Just a thought.

    Thanks for the read.

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