If Your Relationship Is An Emotional Roller-Coaster – GET OFF

We ALL have that ONE friend – that ONE friend that will call you EVERY TIME some drama goes down in their relationship, or will text you any-damn-time they need to reissue their restraining order because they are seemingly TRAPPED in an unhealthy, dysfunctional relationship. But here’s the thing: The more advice you give them, the more insight you are providing for them to ignore and neglect because they ALWAYS keep sliding back into the BULLSH*T no matter how hard you tell them to avoid it. These people are trapped in Emotional Roller Coasters, and because we want to help them at the lowest of their lows, we all seemingly forget ONE important fact about these people: Only THEY can help themselves – and they DON’T want to get off.

But let me not speak condescendingly because the fact is I’VE been in up-and-down, dysfunctional relationships in the past and I REFUSED to allow myself to extricate my feelings, time and energy away from the situation. The truth is, if you’ve ever REALLY loved someone you probably have experienced the Emotional Roller-Coaster in full effect. But there is a statute of limitations on this BS, before you are no longer an innocent victim of intense feelings – and you become a simple-minded sadistic dumbass, too intrigued by the drama and pain to leave it alone. That’s NOT love anymore – that’s wilfully inflicting pain upon yourself.

“Don’t leave meeeee….you frowsy b*tch!”

So consider this post a message to ALL of our intrinsic selves: Self, we need to get our sh*t together, because we can’t keep complaining about our past, present and future state when we are SUBJECTING ourselves to this pain. And yes, after you recognize that you are ON the roller-coaster, it’s YOUR job to get off it – not the DOUCHE who is driving you crazy.

I am a large proponent of the idea that a relationship should have disagreements, because two human beings placed in close proximity will be enough for complicated and sometimes frustrating issues to arise. That’s normal. To have good days and bad days is normal. To constantly run the gamut of awe-inspiring affection and Worldstar hip-hop fights like clockwork is NOT normal – that’s DYSFUNCTION. And y’all can miss me with that “learn how to work through it” BS, because a relationship is SUPPOSE to have some measure of overriding affection that can bring a sense of stability to everyday interactions. If everyday is a Pacquaio/Mayweather fight, then THAT relationship is NOT worth saving.

See how they are touching each other WITHOUT headlocks and chokeholds? It’s this called REAL LOVE..

If you are in a relationship that constantly has you on an emotional roller-coaster, do yourself a favour and GET OFF. I promise you the pain of LOSING that person will PALE in comparison to the pain of STAYING with them and burning through MORE good years of your life while everything around you slowly deteriorates.

You owe yourself a LOT better than that.

This Is Your Conscience

When Lincoln Anthony Blades is not writing for his controversial and critically acclaimed blog ThisIsYourConscience.com, he can be found contributing articles for Uptown Magazine. Lincoln wrote the hilarious and insightful book "You're Not A Victim, You're A Volunteer: How To Stop Letting Love Kick Your Ass". He is also a public speaker who has sat on panels all over North America and the Caribbean.


  1. lincolnanthonyblades

    08/22/2012 at 5:22 AM

    Ladies & Gentlemen, What Do You Think The Line Between Healthy Fighting And Dysfunction Is??

  2. petersburgh

    08/22/2012 at 6:44 AM

    I"m not sure how thin that line is but I'm sure people make it seem so thin that you can't tell the difference. Mistakes happen in relationships. Sometimes you shout, hurt and make your partner feel uncomfortable, shame and angry but on a consistent basis is where the problem lies and only the recipient can determine what consistent is. That's where it gets "complicated" because if you really want the relationship to work you will ignore when that line gets crossed. Right now I have an ex-gf who is in that kind of situation and she just refuses to believe that that's where she is. Hopefully she will look back and realise that the line that was crossed is now the horizon

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      08/22/2012 at 12:04 PM

      Real Talk!

  3. Sheila

    08/22/2012 at 8:43 AM

    wow, I am in a dysfunctional relationship and everything you said is true but my punk ass doesn't know how to leave or hurt the one that swears he loves me :(

    • Vicky

      08/22/2012 at 8:48 AM

      Awww Sheila! *e-hug*

      • lincolnanthonyblades

        08/22/2012 at 12:01 PM

        Sheila Gets NO Hugs Until She Mans Up And Leaves

    • mena

      08/22/2012 at 9:19 AM

      When you are truly ready to leave, you will. Only you know your own relationship. However, I will say to not waste too much time. No one is getting any younger.

      • lincolnanthonyblades

        08/22/2012 at 12:01 PM


    • NurseJilly

      08/22/2012 at 9:46 AM

      Aww… I know that feeling Sheila. Keep your head up girl. A friend of mine sent me this quote when I was in this situation and I've kept it saved in my phone ever since.

      "As long as better is possible, good is never enough."

      Never settle for any reason, especially guilt. Good luck:)

      • lincolnanthonyblades

        08/22/2012 at 12:02 PM

        Good Quote….


        • NurseJilly

          08/22/2012 at 3:17 PM

          Feel free:)

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      08/22/2012 at 12:03 PM

      Here's how you do it. Get away from him and go somewhere that makes you happy (mentally or physically) and STAY there until you get use to that feeling – then try going back to the unhappiness you once had.

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      08/22/2012 at 12:46 PM

      • NurseJilly

        08/22/2012 at 1:47 PM


      • mena

        08/22/2012 at 4:11 PM

        Where do yall get these?!?

        • lincolnanthonyblades

          08/22/2012 at 6:26 PM

          I Scour The Internet!

  4. brown

    03/21/2013 at 4:50 PM

    I am in a very dysfunctional relationship as well. I am a punk as well. I make excuse like " I have put in so much am not leaving or I am not about to see him with someone else after all that I have done"

  5. Diablo 3 Rmah

    06/20/2013 at 1:30 PM

    And on another tag line. The delays are not due to the fact game being better. It’s just a few marketing. When the game is out is vital to these companies. They don’t care if it’s out with bugs simply because they will patch it and so they only care for it to be out at the right time to get more money.

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