We ALL have that ONE friend – that ONE friend that will call you EVERY TIME some drama goes down in their relationship, or will text you any-damn-time they need to reissue their restraining order because they are seemingly TRAPPED in an unhealthy, dysfunctional relationship. But here’s the thing: The more advice you give them, the more insight you are providing for them to ignore and neglect because they ALWAYS keep sliding back into the BULLSH*T no matter how hard you tell them to avoid it. These people are trapped in Emotional Roller Coasters, and because we want to help them at the lowest of their lows, we all seemingly forget ONE important fact about these people: Only THEY can help themselves – and they DON’T want to get off.
But let me not speak condescendingly because the fact is I’VE been in up-and-down, dysfunctional relationships in the past and I REFUSED to allow myself to extricate my feelings, time and energy away from the situation. The truth is, if you’ve ever REALLY loved someone you probably have experienced the Emotional Roller-Coaster in full effect. But there is a statute of limitations on this BS, before you are no longer an innocent victim of intense feelings – and you become a simple-minded sadistic dumbass, too intrigued by the drama and pain to leave it alone. That’s NOT love anymore – that’s wilfully inflicting pain upon yourself.
So consider this post a message to ALL of our intrinsic selves: Self, we need to get our sh*t together, because we can’t keep complaining about our past, present and future state when we are SUBJECTING ourselves to this pain. And yes, after you recognize that you are ON the roller-coaster, it’s YOUR job to get off it – not the DOUCHE who is driving you crazy.
I am a large proponent of the idea that a relationship should have disagreements, because two human beings placed in close proximity will be enough for complicated and sometimes frustrating issues to arise. That’s normal. To have good days and bad days is normal. To constantly run the gamut of awe-inspiring affection and Worldstar hip-hop fights like clockwork is NOT normal – that’s DYSFUNCTION. And y’all can miss me with that “learn how to work through it” BS, because a relationship is SUPPOSE to have some measure of overriding affection that can bring a sense of stability to everyday interactions. If everyday is a Pacquaio/Mayweather fight, then THAT relationship is NOT worth saving.
If you are in a relationship that constantly has you on an emotional roller-coaster, do yourself a favour and GET OFF. I promise you the pain of LOSING that person will PALE in comparison to the pain of STAYING with them and burning through MORE good years of your life while everything around you slowly deteriorates.
You owe yourself a LOT better than that.
This Is Your Conscience