Is It EVER OK To Take The Law Into Your OWN Hands To Protect Your Child?

A couple of days ago me and some folks online had a HUGE debate about THIS video:

The interesting thing about the debate was how it was mostly split along gender lines. Most of the women’s initial response was “GOOD, I’d beat his punk-ass too!” while most of the men responded “He deserves his ass beat – IF he really did it.” So there was no controversy over whether or not the coach deserved a cricket-bat upside his skull, but the REAL argument was over ‘due process.’ Many of the women felt that the child’s word SHOULD be all the evidence anyone really needs to know what truly happened, where most men felt like some external investigation was needed BEFORE boots were applied up anal-cavities, because it would be F*^KED-UP to hulk-smash the wrong dude.

What I found incredible about this debate [and what many of you may find equally amusing] is that I didn’t say ONE word for the ENTIRE debate. I literally sat back and took in every side in a rare moment of speechlessness. And the fact is I’m STILL speechless about this in terms of coming up with a concrete ideology.

On one hand, I feel for the mother in the story and I appreciate how she reacted by immediately believing her kids, and whooping ass in their name. God only knows what sort of psychological effects could have arisen if she questioned the kids, and sent them right back to school to get molested all over again. In fact, I could see myself reacting with blind rage in this scenario too.

But on the other hand, that “What IF” regarding the accused parties innocence is a BIG IF. It’s possible that law enforcement could run a more effective and thorough investigation on him than I EVER could – but then there’s the chance they don’t run a substantive case at all [Jerry Sandusky & Penn State, anyone?].

So this is a debate I’m turning to y’all: Do you think this mother was WRONG or RIGHT for beating down that coach?

When Lincoln Anthony Blades is not writing for his controversial and critically acclaimed blog, he can be found contributing articles for Uptown Magazine. Lincoln wrote the hilarious and insightful book "You're Not A Victim, You're A Volunteer: How To Stop Letting Love Kick Your Ass". He is also a public speaker who has sat on panels all over North America and the Caribbean.


  1. lincolnanthonyblades

    08/23/2012 at 6:06 AM

    Also Ladies & Gentlemen, Do You Think She Should Have To Face ANY Charges For Her Actions?

    • nolabels

      08/27/2012 at 10:27 AM

      I'm like this…IF (and this is a big IF since other kids are coming out and saying the coach did it) the coach didn't do it, then she should face charges. However, if everything is playing out like the kids say, then the coach deserved to get the tar knocked out of him. That coach lucky he isn't six feet under.

  2. petersburgh

    08/23/2012 at 6:45 AM

    Well to be honest none of us can say if she is right or wrong until proof of innocence or guilt is ascertained. In the old days you could have trusted a child's word but nowadays not as much so I being a rational person looking in would say to wait until it becomes clearer, However, if I was in the situation I would have probably done the same as the lady.

    The video isn't showing so I can't see what was said but if it was premeditated she should as it is the law but it's up to the lawyers to prove or disprove premeditation or temporary insanity etc

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      08/23/2012 at 2:20 PM

      Interesting. I Wonder If This Would Be Classified As A Crime Of Passion?

  3. mena

    08/23/2012 at 8:35 AM

    Take that shit to the police. Immediately. Here's the problem. When you commence to give a beat down, you feel like you have given punishment and told the person to stay away from your kid. Well then what happens? Their name may be smeared but they will be able to do it to another child. Too many people want to cover up child abuse by simply beating the person to a pulp but never going to the cops so that they can, if found guilty, face prison time and a record. In fact, I would say having a beat down is letting them off extremely easy. And don't get me started if the person is family…then it's the whole "stay away from uncle/aunt so and so at the family picnic this weekend children."

    Make sure your kid is telling the truth by you actually listening to them and not putting words in their mouth. Ask the same question different ways to make sure you know the whole truth. If you find it to be truthful, immediately go to the police.

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      08/23/2012 at 2:18 PM

      I Think That's Very Understandable But How Does One Control Their Rage In That Circumstance?

      • mena

        08/23/2012 at 2:48 PM

        One question: do your kids need you at home with them or in jail?

        • Jessssss

          08/23/2012 at 3:32 PM

          Amen. A hard decision but one that has to be well thought out. My daughter has kept me out of jail many days. Because in being a good mother she needs me to actually be there.

      • nolabels

        08/27/2012 at 10:29 AM

        I understand what mena is saying, but it's hard to be rational when you have images of someone doing something wrong to your kids…the rational may kick in but usually it is too late.

        Plus, there are moments when the justice system is tainted…what happens if there's enough evidence against the coach and he gets off anyway?

  4. Dyquen

    08/23/2012 at 12:13 PM

    A mix of both. first take it to the cops to have them do an investigation, then if found guilty I'd find out the prison he'd be sent to go visit the biggest burliest dude in there and hand him some cash money and a sandwich every week for him to do what he does best in prison.
    Getting sentenced to 15+ years in prison with a big dude who got paid to whoop his ass proper and destroy him thoroughly the entire time he's in there is a better punishment than I could dish out on a one-time deal AND probably end up going to jail myself for assault. Justice will be served in a logical but satisfying way.

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      08/23/2012 at 2:19 PM


    • NurseJilly

      08/23/2012 at 2:44 PM

      LOVE IT!!!

    • Jessssss

      08/23/2012 at 3:32 PM

      Sounds like a plan.

    • nolabels

      08/27/2012 at 10:30 AM


  5. Dre

    08/23/2012 at 12:38 PM

    She was wrong. Everyone should know she's wrong. I'm not a parent, but I get it. I've found myself sprinting like Bolt when my lil bro was calling out for help one time. When I got to him, I was like WTH?? How'd I get here? It's like I was entranced. I'll never forget that. The instinct to protect family is always there. And I know it's on a whole 'nother level when it comes to your own kids.

    With that said, she should never assault anyone. There's never an excuse for assault. EVER. This may be the most valid reason on earth, but she's not excused from her own actions. Two things. One. What kind of example is she setting for her children? Too many bl*ck parents teach their children to physically retaliate for some wrongdoing or even perceived wrongdoing. That's just a mess. Instead, she's gotta understand that this is a time to do what's RIGHT. That involves seeking justice, not revenge.
    Two. Aggravated assault with a weapon is a serious charge. This could be big trouble for her. Not only could she serve serious time behind bars, her kids could be without a mother (and perhaps father) for an extended period of time.

    She should definitely have to face charges. The law is the law. She might receive a lighter punishment, and that would be understandable, but this guy got beaten by a bat. What if he's innocent? Doesn't look that way now, but who knows? This whole thing has got to play out in a legal setting. All the facts have to come out, then decisions should be made.

    love the blog.
    i read it daily.

    • MistaHarsh

      08/23/2012 at 12:53 PM


    • lincolnanthonyblades

      08/23/2012 at 2:17 PM

      Thanks For Reading Dre.

      A Lot Of Good Points Here.

    • NurseJilly

      08/23/2012 at 2:45 PM

      Well said sir!!

    • Jessssss

      08/23/2012 at 3:42 PM

      I AGREE.

  6. MistaHarsh

    08/23/2012 at 1:08 PM

    She's wrong but I'm sure it felt good. And you bring up a good point – to question your kids in a time when they come to you for help can have MAJOR psychological effects that can last a lifetime and sometimes the police are slow to do anything ie Treyvon Martin.

    The only thing she's guilty of is assault. But here's outcome of the assault – the atttention needed to force the police to conduct a thorough investigation.

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      08/23/2012 at 2:17 PM

      Agreed. Hopefully She Doesn't Get A Hard Sentence.

  7. Jessssss

    08/23/2012 at 3:40 PM

    As a child my father never let my friends stay over for sleepovers. He told that this was protection for all parties concerned. He never wanted to put himself or my brother in a position where the accusation could be made against them.

    I understand why now. I am a youth counselor and have seen many young ladies (who needed to tell their secret) blame the violation on a teacher, coach or pastor because they needed to confess. The only thing was most were afraid of getting the actual offender (normally a brother, cousin, uncle or even their own father) in trouble. Alot of times the offenders are so close home that a child may cry wolf. So, hasty decisions (no matter how noble the intent) benefit no one.

    I have a beautiful daughter that I would give my life for in a heartbeat. However, as her mother I have to consciously make decisions for her good; whether that be for now or in the future. Me under the jail for gutting her violator with a wire hanger and hanging his nether regions on a stop sign in town square would make me feel better. My brand of personal justice would have been served but, what if I'm wrong?

  8. J.Crawford

    08/23/2012 at 5:05 PM

    I say this- Take the Child's Story as Top Priority, BUT NOT Gospel until ALL FACTS ARE Checked and Double Checked. I'm not saying All Kids Lie, but SOME do not always know that their Words or Stories are taken Seriously, with Extreme Consideration that they Aren't Embellished. I'm sure All of us at some time or another as Kids were told by Parents or Older Peers that we Don't know what We were Talking About with regards to Lots of things, but in Today's Atmosphere a Child's Word is damn near Golden, without No Wild Imagination(s) flowing and Worth Diamonds and other Precious Valuables.

    We Want Kids to be able to Speak Up and Speak Out when they need to Vent, Say that Something is Worng or Somebody has Wrong them in Any Way, Shape or Form, but at the same time We Need to Understand and Realize that there are Other Lives that are Affected (a Person's Own Children, Familes, Friends, etc), and a False Accusation would Ruin them like it would Ruin Us if WE were the ones Accused…..

  9. A Protective Mother

    08/24/2012 at 4:34 AM

    I may be totally off here, but I read the story and she had 2 kids that told her the same story as well as other kids that were coached by the same pedophile who all stories collaborated. Automatically I believe the young boys because it's hard for young boys to come out and say someone touch them in an inappropriate place.

    As far as the mother beating the sh#t out of the coach, she did call the police before she reached his ass to beat him. The police should have gotten there faster.

    Not saying it's right, but if you feel like you haven't done the #1 main thing in this world a parent should do and that is protect your child. You already feel violated and somebody gonna pay.

    If she gets a good lawyer and since this was national news, she could get a great one. If she gets a trial jury and the lawyers pick those jurors with kids, she will probably get off or hardly serve any time.

    I would hate to say that I would have probably tried to kill the bastard myself, but I would first pray to any GOD that would listen. And when I say any GOD, I mean I need any and every God, Jehovah, Buddha, Allah, including all the mythical GODS, Zeus, Poseidon, Athena, etc to hold me back, because just thinking about it wouldn't be a rational if I even thought that someone had touch my child(ren) inappropriately.

    If the law doesn't do there job then what? "Law Abiding Citizen" would be like a bed time story, because it will REALLY get BIBLICAL.

    As a parent, you just really, really, really, have to pray on it and have the strongest belief in GOD EVER.

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